These are the days of Perhaps Recovery from for-sure world-wide financial meltdown exported by our good American friends as their latest gift to humanity (following on from their previous paltry efforts of 570,000 uncompensated victims in Bophol (only 20,000 dead, a mere nothing), and several million killed by financially wonderful cigarette exports from Phillip Horris, R.J. Killolds and other fine American companies). Other countries export goods. These days, America exports catastrophes thanks to their ethics-free politicos who pay off the punters and one another in a sort of mass snob class bribe fest liberally disguised in Holier Than Thou Superior Race sauce.
Recently a new financial specter is slithering out of the financial freezers, like one of those horror film green mists that slides past the window sash, the financial freezer being where OhHaHa and his pal BenWhacky keep their jazillions of freshly printed (and therefore actually worthless) bribe-ready dollars to congeal the ink before unwrapping them any time he and the government are hungry and believe me, they are ALWAYS hungry, even at night.
This specter (as they all do) comes with its own adjectives pack bursting with Financial FuzzWords. A Fuzzword, if you are not in the financial profession (and we are not supposed to tell you this) is a word designed to Spray Misdirector Fuzz up your nostrils every time it is spoken or read. Misdirector Fuzz is a kind of street legal financial opiate which sends delusion profit waves though the brain’s financial center, which is right next to the greed center. It also zaps the accounts center of the brain, so that the Fuzzee can no longer add 2 and 2, or if he attempts to do so, then, it does not matter what number he adds, he always gets 25% per annum as the result and the Fuzz also has the effect of hardwiring the output of the accounts center straight to the core of the greed center. So you see the result is, it doesn’t matter what Fuzzworded nonsense someone reads, they know that if they follow its guidance, and do whatever it implies should be done they will make 25% per annum. The financial drug lords make zillions with
Fuzzwords.
However, one can be immunized (temporally at any rate) if the Fuzzwords are read on their own in isolation, and only afterwards joined to their Fuzz target and this is how I will do it to preserve you (temporally at any date) from Fuzzstortion.
You also ought to know, so that you understand the very real dangers you face, that financial professionals handle Fuzzwords with great care. Those who plan to distort the financial market to their advantage, first prepare a text in a clean room (“The Clean Text”), this text being whatever financially beneficial financial nonsense (financially beneficial for the writer) they believe would be most wonderful for their year end results. Once the Clean Text is completed, armed security in hazmat suits open the heavily guarded Fuzzword safe and extract the numbered bottles of Fuzzwords, which are kept close to absolute zero – much like a sperm bank really and just like sperm, you can see what happens when they get loose. When just one sperm got loose for example, it ended up inventing the H bomb, and another loose sperm destroyed half of Europe when it grew up and figured out how to speak German and pull a trigger, so you can see they are pretty potent and have to be kept guarded with high security. The Fuzzword bottles are then transported through several negative pressure airlocks to the Fuzzword Insertion Theatre, to which the Clean Text that is to be made into a Distortion Text has meanwhile been transported. Financial surgeons insert Fuzzwords one at a time into the Clean Text using a secret selection and insertion process to which I am not privy. With the insertion complete, the Active Text (as it is now called) is sent out as a press release, and from now on the Fuzzwords are active and absolutely everyone who sees or reads them, is now in a brain warp as regards the Active Text, and totally and completely believes every single word of it and has their accounts center hardwired to their greed center and now every calculation comes out at 25% per annum. So you see why you have to be careful how you handle Fuzzwords.
Now I have briefed you on Fuzzwords, the following are the Fuzzwords being used in the new financially distortional Active (Distortion) Texts. As I told you, you have nothing to fear form the ISOLATED Fuzzwords BUT FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, OBSERVE THIS MENTAL HEALTH WARNING:
DO NOT TAKE A FUZZWORD AND INSERT IT IN A TEXT, EVEN FOR FUN.
HAVOC WILL RESULT AND LOSS OF BANK ACCOUNT IS TO BE EXPECTED. AFTER READING A FUZZWORD, BURN THE PAPER ON WHICH IT WAS WRITTEN. DO NOT LEAVE PRINTED FUZZWORDS LYING ABOUT WITHOUT PROPER SECURITY.