CHAPTER TWELVE: just the way it should be
The next morning, I woke up to Hunter screaming and knocking on my door.
“GEEET UPP!” He cried. I rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. It was 8:00 am. And I was in no way prepared to get up.
“Wait just a minute.” I called sleepily through the door.
“Okay, but hurry up!” Hunter cried excitedly. I went to the bathroom and got ready. I knew I needed to look perfect for my first coming out to the world. I tried millions of different hairstyles and never could get it right. I sighed as I slapped at my stringy hair. I hated it. I looked in the mirror for a little while. I had often read stories where the girl stares in the mirror and sees her full potential, but I never saw anything. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a scared little girl who wanted to run from everyone and everything.
“SAM!” Hunter cried, snapping me back into reality. I quickly brushed through my hair and applied my makeup. It wasn't really worth it anyway.
“Took you long enough- wow, you look great.” He said.
“Thanks.” I said weakly, but I felt like he was lying. He was my boyfriend now... he was required to say that.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Well, the surprise isn't until later tonight.” He said. I looked at him suspiciously.
“Don't give me that look. You'll like it... I promise. I worked hard on it.” He said with a satisfied grin. I shrugged.
“Well, until then where will we be going?” I asked.
“I figured we could go shopping.” He suggested.
“Shopping?” I echoed with a laugh.
“Don't all girls like to go shopping? I only wanna do what you want to do.” He stated.
“Well, I don't know. I've never really shopped much before. My clothes are mostly hand-me-downs.” I admitted.
“Really?” Hunter asked.
“Yeah, my family never had much money and...” I trailed off.
“Well, that's going to change today! I'll buy you whatever you like, princess.” He stated with a grin. I smiled. Princess... I quite liked the sound of that actually. The minute we opened the hotel doors we were bombarded with flashing cameras and screams. I fell back a little the flashing temporary blinding my vision. I closed my eyes, but still I saw spots everywhere in the darkness.
Our security guard helped us push through the crowds.
“Hunter, can I have a picture?” A fan screamed. Hunter was mobbed with girls screaming his name, touching him, hugging him, grabbing him, and snapping pictures of him. Jealousy burned throughout me. It was a feeling I thought I was used to, but this time it was seething inside me to the core. Every time a girl so much as touched him the burn grew a little deeper. But they were his fans and the reason he was here in the first place, but it was still hard to accept. To my relief, security started shooting him along. I followed closely behind him. He reached for me and laced his hand through mine pulling me through the crowd. The photographers screamed all sorts of things that I couldn't make out.
I wasn't sure what they were saying, but by the looks on their faces it was nothing nice. Their flashing lights continued to blind my vision as I stumbled through the mass of people. I felt claustrophobic as hands went all over me. I felt hands in my hair and on my back and it made my skin crawl. I couldn't seem to breathe, there were just so many people. I heard my name being shouted as well, but I kept my hand down avoided the cameras. Finally, we broke out of the crowd and escaped their flashing lights and obnoxious screams.
“Are you okay, babe?” I felt a familiar pairs of lips whisper against my ear.
“Yeah, I just don't know how you deal with it.” I admitted.
“Well, I guess you're gonna have to start getting used to it as well. I mean, you are sticking around aren't you? Or have I scared you away already?” He asked flashing me one of his signature grins. I saw why the world had fallen in love with him and why he was Hollywood's “It boy.” That dazzling smile, that adorable dimple, that luscious hair, those sparkling blue-green eyes, that flawless tan skin, and that beautiful masculine body. He was perfect. He was mine. It was hard to believe. He must have seen me study him.
“You alright, love?” He asked again giving my hand a squeeze. I nodded. I didn't want him knowing I was marveling over his looks so I changed the subject.
“Are you used to it?” I questioned, jerking my head back towards the squealing girls who were now following us. He smiled and looked at them as well.
“Yeah, I guess I am. It took a bit of adjusting.” He admitted with a shrug.
“Oh, I don't believe you.” I said.
“Why not?” He asked, setting his eyes on me.
“You didn't have girls chasing you in high school?” I questioned in replied.
“Nah, not really. I wasn't all that popular in high school.” He stated. I rolled my eyes dramatically.
“What? I wasn't, I can show you some pictures sometime.” He offered.
“They can't be that bad.” I said.
“Well, I'm glad you think so.” He said, pecking my cheek. I heard the cameras click behind us. I knew that had gotten the shot and I could see the cover now. That would be fun to explain to my mother. Awkward.
We walked into a jewelry shop and I was amazed when I walked in. I had never really seen anything like it in my life. The light hit the diamonds in such a way that they glittered and radiated a rainbow colored spark. I saw a specific bracelet that I loved more than all the others in the shop. It was a golden bracelet with a chain that was lined with rubies. The rubies glinted and sparkled in the light. There was the word “forever” outlined in diamonds on the front. The way the sparkled and shimmered was like a piece of artwork and I had never seen anything quite so beautiful in my entire life. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind. I jumped a little. Hunter had snapped me out of my trance. His eyes were sparkling just like the jewels were.
“You like it?” He asked, watching the bracelet as it rotated under the glass.
“No, no I don't want it.” I said quickly. There was no way I was going to let him blow money like that on me. Hunter just shook his head and started fishing his wallet out of his pocket.
“Hunter, no! Stop!” I cried, trying to snatch it from his hand. He held it above his head. I grabbed his arm and pulled the wallet down, but he maneuvered it to the other hand and got it out of my reach. I grabbed at it again, but he pinned my arms behind my back and grinned cheekily at me. I struggled, but he just laughed at my sad attempt. His biceps were bulging a little though and I thought I might actually be giving him a bit of a challenge. I liked that... I liked being a challenge.
“What ya gonna do now, love?” He teased, tightening his grip. I laughed and wiggled a little more, but eventually got tired and gave up. He went to the counter while I watched him from behind just shaking my head. I watched as he fished hundred dollar bills out of my pocket. I grabbed him and spun him around.
“Hunter, no! You can't-” I protested. He laid a sweet kiss on my lips cutting me off. I fell back a little, stunned by his kiss. He grinned at me cheekily and laid the money down on the counter. The worker exchanged the bracelet for the money and Hunter fiddled clumsily with the clasp trying desperately to get it opened. He laid it delicately on my wrist and clasped it. He lifted my wrist gently so that the diamonds would catch the light and sparkle.
“It's beautiful.” I whispered, lightly running a finger across the engrave word.
“Like you.” He said, cupping my face. I blushed and scuffed my shoe against the wooden floor. He noticed my resistance and intertwined my fingers with his. He led me out of the store, the minute we exited the cameras stormed at us, the flashes like miniature lightning strikes lighting our path. My name was being called at every angle and so was Hunter's. Hunter tried to push through the crowd, but he was polite to everyone and a poised smile remained plastered on his face. His
expression was calm, his face open and undisturbed. I on the other hand was about to completely loose it. I had never had so many people around me in my entire life, never had before I experienced so many eyes glued to me. Hunter must have felt me trembling because he tightened the grip on my hand and pulled me through the crowd a little more quickly. He draped an arm over my shaking body. I smiled gratefully up at him for helping me dodge a nervous breakdown. We walked on down the street for a little while. Girls stopped us and begged Hunter for a picture about every five minutes which was a bit irritating to me, but I realized that they were his fans and he loved them dearly so I tolerated it. Every girl that approached him was always stunning and seemed to be especially friendly to him. It honestly made me want to through my hands up, walk away, and give up. Why was he here with me anyway?
The day went on, and pretty soon it was dark out. Hunter looked up at the stars and a twinkle filled his eyes. I cocked a brow.
“What are you thinking about?” I questioned suspiciously.
“Follow me.” He whispered mischievously. I hesitantly followed him into a building and into an elevator.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“You'll see.” He said, a smile gracing his lips. The elevator stopped and the doors opened wide. I stepped out onto a rooftop. A huge gust of wind hit me the minute I stepped off the elevator and I was bombarded by a loud sound. My hair flew into my face and I was nearly knocked off balance. The sound I was hearing sounded kind of like something was knifing through the air. Finally, my hair blew out of my eyes and I gained my vision back.
“Hunter, are we at a helipad?” I cried. He nodded at me.
“Yes, hop on!” He cried, over the loud sound. I looked up at the helicopter blades chopping through the air and letting of mighty gusts of wind. My hair swished this way and that as I fought against the wind to make it to the helicopter. Hunter went in first then grabbed my hand and helped me up as well. He put a headset on and then put one on me as well.
“You look pretty with that headset.” He yelled over the sound. I smiled at him then turned my attention to the window as we took off. The helicopter began slowly lifting off the rooftop and into the air. I grabbed Hunter's arm for security and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. I let an excited squeal escape my lips and Hunter laughed at my enthusiasm. Hunter tapped my shoulder to get my attention.
“LOOK OUT MY WINDOW!” He cried. I glanced out the window and what I saw shocked me. My hand fluttered to my mouth and I let out an awestruck gasp. There were lanterns floating in the lake beneath us. The lanterns were lined in such a way that they spelled “I love you, Sam” I looked closely as the lanterns bobbed up and down aimlessly in the water. I touched the glass softly to see if this was actually reality. When I felt the coldness of the glass pressed against my skin I knew that this was no dream. An international superstar had taken the time to spell out my name in lanterns that were drifting in a lake that we hovered above.
“Hunter, did you do this?” I asked, breathlessly.
“All for you, princess.” He whispered. I looked out at the beautiful masterpiece that lay right before me. The lanterns gleamed and flickered as they floated on the calm blue water. I was in complete awe.
“This might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” I stated quietly. He grinned at me, his dimples peaking out.
“Well, I'm glad you like it.” He said.
“When did you get time to do this?” I interrogated further.
“I make time... for you.” He said, brushing a fly away hair from my face. I grinned for ear to ear. I couldn't believe that he had done this... and all for me! I giggled like a little girl who had a crush. He wrapped an arm around me as we both flew through the evening sky together. I actually felt...safe. I wasn't scared. For once in my life I felt...protected. I knew when I was in his arms I was safe. I was home. We spent the rest of the night laughing and enjoying each others company.
“Goodnight.” He whispered, before planting a sweet kiss on my cheek.
“Goodnight.” I echoed, as I slid into my hotel room. I plopped on my bed and let out a loud sigh. What a romantic night. It felt like a perfect night to lay out on the porch and do some star gazing. I stepped out onto the porch and shivered a little when the cold air came in contact with my skin. I sat in my hard steel chair that had been set out for me and rested my feet on the little table positioned near the railing. It was so beautiful tonight, the stars lit up the dark night sky and radiated a majestic glow. They sparkled like little diamonds twinkling in the night sky. I ran my finger across my diamond embroidered bracelet. It twinkled in the dim light as well. The sigh brought a smile to my lips. The noise of a glass door sliding open ripped me from my daydream and back into reality. It was Kade. His porch was right beside mine, only inches apart. We must be staying in the hotel room next to mine. He didn't seem to see me. He plopped nosily into his chair and sighed heavily. I froze, trying my best to not make one single noise. I didn't dare even breathe.
“Hey, God... it's me, Kade. I wanted to let you know that I've quit drinking so... I hope you're proud. Tell Jade I said hi... I miss her. Sometimes I wonder why she was taken from me. I know it was my fault though. I've been so stupid this past year. I'm sorry for that as well...for being stupid. It's just sometimes I feel so alone and-” He stopped suddenly.
“Is someone there?” He demanded. I could sense the angry rising in his voice. I tried to slid quietly out of my chair, but the button of my jeans caught on the chair and the metal chair made an ear splitting sound as it fell on me and banged on the hard concrete balcony.
“Ouch!” I exclaimed. Kade threw one leg over onto my porch and grabbed the balcony railing to lift himself over.
“Kade, what are you doing?! Stop, you could get hurt!” I cried. He climbed onto my porch, threw the chair off me, and pulled me to my feet quickly. His hands tightly gripped my arms, locking them to my side.
“You can't tell anyone what you heard.” He said firmly.
“Why?” I asked.
“Just please...don't! You can't.” He said, pulling me inches from his face.
“Okay, okay I won't.” I said. He released me from his grip. I fell backward a little.
“I'm sorry, I didn't even ask if you were okay. It looked like it hurt when you fell. Are you alright?” He asked, helping to brush me off.
“I'm fine.” I assured, looking down at my torn jeans.
“Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll buy you new jeans if you'd like.” He offered.
“It's okay. These were really old anyway.” I stated. He plopped down in the chair and held his face in his hands.
“I didn't mean to be so harsh, it's just...people don't really know that I'm religious and I'm really not, but God seems to be my only option nowadays.” He said.
“Do you believe in God?” I asked quietly. He pulled a chair up next to him and looked at me expectantly. I obeyed and was quietly seated beside him.
“Not really, I just... don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore and I guess I'm just desperate for Help.” He replied.
“Kade, God shouldn't be Someone you just go to when you're really desperate. Hey, we'll be in Georgia tomorrow and tomorrow is Sunday. Why don't you come to church with me? There's plenty of churches in Georgia.” I stated.
“I don't know... I haven't been in a really long time.” He said hesitantly.
“Pleeease! Just this once and if you don't like it I won't ask you to go every again.” I promised.
“Will your boyfriend be okay with it?” He asked.
“My what?” I asked.
“Hunter.” He replied. Oh...right. Hunter was my boyfriend. It felt so strange to hear that coming out of my own mouth much less the mouth of someone else.
“He won't care, I promise. So are you saying you'll go?” I questioned. Kade sighed loudly and dramatically.
“Yes, I'll go.” He said finally.
“Yay!” I cheered, clapping my h
ands.
We sat in silence for a moment looking at the stars glimmer in the sky. He set his gaze on me, but I continued to examine the stars. I could feel his eyes piercing into me though.
“Does he make you happy?” Kade asked, breaking the peaceful silence.
“Well... I guess so. I don't really know if I know how to be happy.” I admitted honestly. Kade snorted.
“Happiness isn't something you practice or learn how to do. It should be a daily thing...a natural thing. When you feel it, you'll know it. It's kind of like the wind slowly softly o your skin. It comes and goes, but even when it leaves you'll know it will return to you someday.” Kade said.
“Wow, Kade... that's deep.” I stated, meeting his gaze.
“If you're not sure he makes you happy then you shouldn't be with him.” Kade said. I looked away from his angrily.
“Yeah, and who else would I be with? It's not like I've got a line of boys waiting to swoop in and ride off in the sunset with me.” I retorted.
“I think you overlook some of your princes.” Kade said. I didn't know how to respond to that. I wasn't even quite sure what in the world he was trying to say.
“Has anyone besides Jade ever made you happy?” I asked. I knew I might be treading on sensitive territory, but I didn't really care. He had already stirred up plenty of sensitive subjects with me.
“It's just...hard to let go.” He said, his voice catching a bit. I knew he was on the verge on tears and I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but something stopped me. But then he grabbed my hand and took it in his.
“Sam, I want you to do something for me.” He said softly.
“Sure, anything.” I whispered.
“I want you to help me let go.” Kade stated.
“How?” I questioned.
“When we're in Tennessee... I want you to go to Jade's grave with me. She's buried there and I told myself that when we stop by there on tour I'd visit just one last time. After that, I won't go anymore because I know that it's time to move on. She would have wanted it that way, but I don't want to go alone. I want to go with someone special... I want to go with you.” He whispered. I nodded.
“I'm honored.” I said, softly.
“Thank-you.” He said and for the first time he hugged me. He wrapped his strong arms around me pulling me into his chest. I breathed in the smell of his strong cologne as he held me with his strong arms. We just sat there in the arms of each other, not saying a word. Usually, I'd get awkward in situations like this and try my best to leave. I'd make any excuse to get out of a long, awkward embrace. But right now, it wasn't awkward. It was a magical moment that I wanted to treasure forever. His strong arms wrapped my neck, the stars alining perfectly, and my hair falling over his strong forearms as he squeezed me tighter. He finally pulled away and looked me in the face.
“I'm sorry.” He said quickly. The expression on his face looked as if he had snapped out of a daydream or something. I didn't say anything, I just stared at him really confused.
“I can't be doing this... you have a boyfriend.” He stated. I nodded.
“I do.” I said, quietly. I couldn't really believe those words... they sounded strange on my lips. He jumped back onto his balcony and I couldn't help, but flinch when he did.
“Careful.” I heard myself mutter. He looked back and smiled at me before disappearing back into his room. He left me all alone with my thoughts...my thoughts and the stars. The stars began blurring a bit and my eyelids got really heavy. I felt them began to flutter close and as much as I wanted to sink in this view, my tired eyes couldn't be pried open. I slowly faded off into a silent dreamland.
I woke up the next morning tired and stiff from sleeping on the uncomfortable metal chair. I ached all over and my joints felt immovable. I groaned as I tried to pull myself to my feet. I stumbled blindly to my room and gave one lazy glance in the mirror, tossing my head to the side as I did. I looked like I had got hit by a bus. My head hair was in tangles by my face, my teeth remained unbrushed, and my face oily from not taking last night's makeup off. I had my work cut out for me. I gave my hair a proper brushing before hobbling into the shower. I hummed to myself merrily as I bathed. It was going to be a good day. I knew that the drive to Georgia would take up most of the day, then Kade and I would attend the evening church service at a local church I had heard only good things about. I figured I'd go ahead and slide into my Sunday attire though. I wondered if Kade had the same idea or if I'd just be an idiot dressed to the nines for nothing. I twirled a little in my white Sunday dress. It was ruffly and made me feel like a princess.
I opened the door to see Kade sitting on the bench outside my hotel. A grin briefly crossed his lips as I entered. He was dressed in a suit with his hair combed neatly, still damp from his shower. He smelled heavenly sporting some fancy, expensive smelling cologne. I got a good whiff as I stepped a little closer.
“You clean up nice.” I stated, gesturing to his outfit.
“I could say the same about you.” He said, circling me. Hunter stepped out of his room right about then.
“Babe, you look amazing!” He said, pulling me in for a kiss. My eyes were wide open when he kissed me. When he kissed me, I saw Kade look over with a strange expression written on his face. Was it hate? Jealousy? Anger? Pleasure? I knew all these things were very different options, but I simply couldn't read Kade. He was a complete and utter mystery to me... something about that really intrigued me. He was like an insolvable, unreadable mystery that you simply had to find the result to... and every day I felt like I was getting more clues that led me to the result of this mystery. I pulled away from Hunter very quickly and awkwardly.
“Okay, shouldn't we get going?” I said, uncomfortably.
“Yeah, sure... I guess.” Hunter said.
“I just wanna get there fast.” I stated, quickly.
“Why?” Hunter asked.
“Sam and I are going to a church an evening church service together.” Kade answered for me. Hunter jumped back a little in surprise.
“Oh, really now?” He said, setting his eyes on me. I looked down quickly, but I could feel his eyes piercing me like daggers.
“Oh yeah, it's gonna be great.” Kade said mischievously. A playful expression was on his face and his eyes were full of fire. I felt like he was only saying “try me if you dare” to Hunter without using any actual words at all. I stood there paralyzed as the two boys tried to kill one another with their eyes.
“Um, yeah it's nothing big... we're both religious.” I said, cutting into the stare down.
“Maybe I should come.” Hunter said, finally breaking away from Kade's hardcore stare to look at me.
“Oh, Hunter that really won't be necessary.” Kade said with a smirk. I turned my face to the floor once again as the awkward tension continued to rise. Hunter licked his lips real slow, he always did that when he was angry then he folded across his chest.
“You know, Kade I think it would be best if I came. You two might need a little supervision.” Hunter said, the anger rising in his voice.
“No, Hunter...it's fine. We don't supervision and certainly not your supervision.” Kade said. His expression remained calm and collected. I knew he was driving Hunter crazy, the way he just smirked and seemed like he didn't care...about anything. The way he just seemed to look right through you and could tell your story better than you could yourself. The way he could describe feeling to you that you didn't know you had experienced until you heard the words come from his mouth. The way he was so... Kade.
“I think you need supervision.” Hunter said through gritted teeth. His hands were balled into fist by his sides.
“Maybe we should let Sam choose.” Kade said, setting his eyes on me. When Kade set his fiery dark eyes on me something seemed to explode within me like fireworks bursting within my soul. I felt like someone had a lit a fuse inside me and colors sparkled inside me. His dark eyes gave me chills.
“I think... you
should trust me a little more, Hunter.” I said softly.
“Oh, really? That's how you feel?” Hunter spat. He threw his hands up in the air and looked at me as if just the sight of me disgusted him. He turned angrily on his heels and stormed off. His steps grew loudly as he stomped and clamped down the stairs. Silence fell between Kade and I as we watched him go.
“What's wrong with you?” I cried turning angrily to me.
“What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?” Kade cried back.
“Are you trying to start a fight or something?” I questioned.
“Can't you see he's using you?” Kade questioned in return.
“Kade, don't you dare tell me who to be with, Kade!” I hissed.
“Hey, I don't want any drama.” Kade said putting his hands up innocently.
“Than stop trying to stir it up. Why are you so hard on him anyway?” I interrogated.
“I wasn't being hard on him. He was just prying to hard.” Kade replied expressionless.
“See, that's what makes him mad! You with your stupid “I hate everyone and everything” attitude. You can't be that bitter about life.” I said harshly.
“Well, when life treats you so bad you can't help, but be a little bitter! I wouldn't expect you to understand.” He snapped. I knew I had taken it too far. I could tell by the look on his face that I had crossed the line. He stamped off to the elevator and smacked the button real hard before clomping into the elevator. So there I stood alone...again.
I watched out the window as he rolled steadily down the road. I watched as trees whizzed by and cars sped down the lane beside us in the opposite direction. We hit the occasionally bump and it would usually pull me back into reality, but for a while I let my mind wander. I thought of how my mom was doing and if she still hated me... Mom! Oh my gosh, today was her birthday. I swiped my phone up and scrolled to her contact. I stared at her contact ID picture for a moment before calling. She was to beautiful. I listened to the phone ring a few times before hearing a racket on the other end. She was probably having friends over and enjoying my time away.
“Hello?” She said over the other line.
“MOM!” I cried. Oh, it was so good to hear her voice. I had missed hearing her merry voice ring out for so long now.
“Sam, is that you?” My mother asked. She sounded life she was in shock... maybe even denial. Her disbelief was clear in her tone.
“Yes, it's me. I've missed you.” I stated.
“Have you? Have you really?” Her voice caught a little. Was she crying?
“Mom, are you okay?” I asked.
“Yes, it's just... I really didn't think you'd call. I just thought you were to busy and... to big for me now.” Mom said. I could tell she was fighting the tears.
“Hey, listen I know I didn't really leave on good terms. I've learned a lot these past few months and I just want you to know that I've taken you for granted. You won't always been there and I need to enjoy the things I have while I've got them. Because you never know maybe one day you'll turn around and they'll be gone. I don't wanna loose you, especially over something so stupid.” I stated. My mom was sobbing by now on the other end.
“I don't wanna loose you either, baby.” She said in between stifled sobs.
“I'll stop seeing Hunter if you want.” I stated solemnly.
“No, Sam if he makes you happy then he makes me happy too. I just want what's best for you.” My mother said softly. I smiled to myself. She really did want what's best for me and... she loved me.
“Thanks, Mom. Happy birthday... I love you.” I said sincerely.
“Thank-you, I love you too.” She said. I heard her blow a kiss from the phone. I made a kiss sound in the receiver right back. I waited for her to hang up the phone and still held it to my face until I heard the phone making a strange buzzing noise to notify me that she had hung up long ago. But right then everything was good... everything was right. I loved her... she loved me. Just the way it's supposed to be.