My dad pulled me in for a hug and I allowed it. Allowed him to try to soothe away some of the ugliness roiling inside me. But nothing could make me feel better. “How bad was it, dad?”
My dad let out a choking sound and I realized how hard this was on him too. I loved Gianna, but so did he. My dad had been her stepfather for the past three years. He pulled back from the hug, fighting for composure.
“They stitched her up, and there’s swelling and bruising, but they think she’ll heal completely.” A sound escaped his lips, but he swallowed visibly, getting himself under control. “They think she’ll still be able to have children. He only used the flashlight on her, so at least we don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Sick little bastard.” My dad stopped there, wiping at his eyes.
Feeling cold all over, I didn’t know how to deal with what happened to her.
How did I even begin to help her?
“And Josh?”
“I wish I could say he’d died from his injuries,” my dad muttered angrily. “He’s got a broken nose, busted up face and three broken ribs.” When he hesitated, I glanced at him, seeing his wry smile. “You and that other kid really worked him over.”
“Which room number is Josh in?”
“Caleb,” my dad said sternly.
I gave my dad a false smile which probably looked more like a sneer. “To send him flowers, of course.”
He shook his head. “He’s not here anymore.”
“Prison hospital?” I asked hopefully.
“Uh, no. Gianna’s dad, Chris, took a midnight flight here and after getting briefed by the police, he asked the same thing you just did.” My dad gave me a pointed look. “The police and hospital staff thought it best Josh be moved to another hospital for both his sake and her family’s.”
“I’m going to kill him,” I told him in all seriousness. My dad was stressed by my statement so I attempted to reassure him, “Don’t worry, I won’t get caught.”
He shook his head again. “You’re in enough trouble. Assaulting Josh while you’re already on probation for assault wasn’t the brightest idea.”
“I think it was an excellent idea,” I mumbled stubbornly. I still had a taste for more of Josh’s blood. I’d busted up that face of his and Ian had broken some ribs, but he had a lot more coming to him. That twisted creep hadn’t begun to experience the pain coming his way.
Leaving the hospital parking garage, the glass doors at the front hospital entrance were a short ways ahead. “One more thing, Caleb.” I could tell what he had to say wouldn’t be good. “The cops started questioning the other cheerleaders and football players today.”
“And?”
“They found out Josh had one of the cheerleaders pass a note to Gianna,” he hesitated before going on, “Supposedly from you, asking to meet in the cafeteria after the game.”
“God Dammit!” I screamed, scaring the crap out of an elderly couple coming off the elevator.
My dad apologized to them, but they hustled past us faster than people their age should be able to move.
Stepping into the elevator, my dad pushed the button for the sixth floor. My stomach was tied in knots. I needed to be able to see Gianna and was worried I’d be denied. I hoped Julie wasn’t here now. I might be able to get past Gianna’s dad. Fifth floor, sixth floor, the elevator slid open.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“What will I be dealing with when it comes to Chris?” I asked, wishing to hear he wanted to pat me on the back for beating the shit out of Josh.
“Well,” my dad paused, obviously thinking over his answer, “When Julie first called him last night, she was convinced you were the one who hurt Gianna.”
“Stupid bitch,” I growled vehemently.
My dad ignored me calling his wife a bitch. “But, by the time Chris got here and the cops filled him in, he was just grateful you and Ian found Gianna so quickly and she wasn’t lying there all night.”
The thought of that . . . it made me sick.
We walked past the nurse’s triage desk and my dad came to a stop in front of room 626. Unfortunately, I could already make out Julie’s grating voice inside. My dad went in ahead of me and I was close on his heels. The room wasn’t large and the curtains were closed. Julie sat in one chair against the window and a man sat in another chair, with Chance sleeping in his lap. This was a bad time to be meeting Gianna’s dad.
Julie didn’t see me right away, looking at my dad first, but when she did, she jumped out of her chair pointing a finger at me in accusation. “I don’t want you in here!”
Ignoring her, I stared at the figure in the bed. She was lying on her back in a hospital gown, with the sheets pulled up to under her armpits. Both wrists were in casts and her face was badly swollen.
From what my dad had told me, the fracture in her jaw wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Doctors estimated it’d take six weeks to heal. The wires they’d used would prevent Gianna from eating solid foods and she wouldn’t be able to talk much, but once healed, she’d be back to normal.
At least physically.
Her eyes were closed. She was either asleep or still sedated. I prayed she wasn’t having bad dreams.
Glancing at Julie, I took in her face turning red, twisted in hatred. It was amazing how such a pretty woman could become so ugly in a matter of seconds. “Did you not hear me, Caleb? You’re not welcome here! This is all your fault!”
Gianna’s dad stood up, settling a sleeping Chance into the armchair. “Take this outside, Julie. The kids don’t need to hear it.”
Reluctantly agreeing with him and not wanting Gianna to wake up upset, I spun on my heel and left the room. My dad was right behind me for support, but I could also hear the click of Julie’s heels. In the hallway, I spun around again, crossing my arms over my chest. I needed to keep myself in check because Julie was undoubtedly about to piss me the hell off. I’d have to resist the urge to smack her.
“Take your son home, Scott,” Julie told my dad, not even bothering to address me.
“I’m here to be with Gianna,” I protested. “You don’t own the hospital, Julie.”
Chris came out of the room, leaning against the doorframe. He was younger than I’d expected, younger than my dad, but I sometimes forgot Chris and Julie had gotten pregnant with Gianna while they were still in high school.
Around mine and Gianna’s age, actually.
The fact he’d managed to get through college to become a plastic surgeon was amazing. Chris wore a neutral expression, so I couldn’t tell where he stood in this little drama. This had to be eating him up inside. His daughter had been viciously attacked and violated. None of us needed Julie’s selfish behavior.
“But, I am her mother and I say who can and can’t come into her hospital room. And you’re not welcome in there.” She shot a look at Chris. “Her dad will back me up on this.”
Chris lost the blank expression, giving me an apologetic look. “I think it’s for the best for now. Gianna doesn’t need any added stress.” Julie was the one causing a ruckus.
I could almost understand where he was coming from, but I didn’t have to like it. Stubbornly, I took a seat in one of the connected plastic and metal chairs in the hallway. “Fine, then I’ll wait here until it’s okay for me to see her.”
Julie huffed and made to go back into the room.
I called out after her, “But, you may want to take some of the blame yourself, Julie, since Gianna would’ve never been in that cafeteria if you hadn’t forced us to sneak around behind your back!”
Not looking back, she shut the door to Gianna’s room behind her.
Chris’s eyes were tired and his face suddenly haggard. From the look on his face I figured he didn’t like Julie much more than I did. He muttered something about going to the cafeteria to get something for Chance when he woke up then he was gone.
My dad waited with me all day, running downstairs to get us magazines and food. I felt like crap, having no
t showered or changed my clothes since yesterday. Finally after dark, my dad was able to talk me into going home to clean up. Two hours later, I’d showered, packed a bag, picked up my car at the school parking lot and was back at the hospital.
Nearing room 626, the door was halfway open so I peeked inside. Julie obviously took Chance home after I’d left, because it was just Gianna’s dad in there, sleeping in the same chair Chance had earlier. The lights were off in the room, but the bathroom light was on, providing a soft glow.
I set my bag down inside the doorway and edged closer to the bed. Gianna was slightly turned to her side now, but at a couple feet away I was surprised to see her eyes were open. An involuntary sound escaped my lips and I quickly crouched down onto the floor beside the bed so we were face to face.
“Baby,” I whispered, not wanting to wake Chris.
Her eyelids dropped, but I saw the shine of tears trickle down. “Shh,” I awkwardly tried to soothe her. The tears fell faster, along with my own.
“Please look at me, Gianna,” I encouraged her softly.
After a long moment she opened her eyes and the pain I witnessed in them made me want to scream and rage, tear something apart. I swallowed it down, kissing her on the forehead.
Holding her gaze, I asked, “You know I love you, right?”
Her head jerked in a little nod, but she averted her eyes again.
I touched her gently on the head, stroking her hair. “I’m so sorry this happened, but I’ll do whatever it takes to help you through it. Whatever you need, baby.”
She didn’t move and I knew she couldn’t respond properly with her jaw wired shut. The nurse came into the room to administer more painkillers through the IV. Lying, I told the nurse I was Gianna’s cousin.
Her dad woke up while I was speaking to the nurse and gave me a look that let me know he wasn’t happy with my methods, but wouldn’t kick me out. I pulled up a chair next to Gianna’s bed and settled in.
After administering the drugs, the nurse left and Gianna drifted off to sleep. I was simply grateful for the time I’d get with Gianna until Julie showed up in the morning. It soothed my own demons to be near her again. But it’d be a long time before any of us were completely healed.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Immature love says ‘I love you because I need you.’
Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’”
-Erich Fromm
CALEB
Frustration wasn’t a feeling that was ever easy to deal with. Helplessness was often its companion. I understood where she was coming from, I really did. But I couldn’t help feeling that I should’ve been with her right now. Didn’t she need me as much as I needed her?
Gianna had texted that it was only temporary, just until her dad could close up shop in Houston and find a place in Denver. She hadn’t even enrolled in school there, but was getting her assignments faxed from school here. Trying to squash the panicky feeling that she wouldn’t be coming back at all was all I could do.
Spending time with my parents wasn’t helping. Hanging out with friends wasn’t helping either. Gianna back in Denver was the only thing that could make me feel better. It’d been two weeks since she was released from the hospital and the very same day she’d gotten on a plane with her dad and flown to Houston.
If I weren’t so freaking miserable myself, I’d find twisted satisfaction in Julie’s predicament. Her life had gone to shit like the rest of ours. My dad wouldn’t take her back because she obviously wasn’t going to change her stance on me. The divorce was moving forward.
Besides that problem, Julie had to deal with the wrath of Chris. While at the hospital, I’d overheard an entertaining conversation, well argument really, where Chris had laid into Julie and called her a bad mother. He’d also stated that she’d had her chance to raise their kids and obviously he needed to take over. I was all for his idea, but the man needed to bring my girl back.
Like now.
I wasn’t sure where Gianna and I stood. If I texted her that I loved and missed her, she’d return the sentiments, but with her jaw wired shut, she couldn’t talk well enough for us to converse over the phone. Our relationship had been reduced to a series of texts and emails.
I craved her, needed her with me again.
I needed things back the way they were before, Gianna a short drive away, us together whenever we had the chance. We talked about only the most superficial things in emails and even through text messages I could sense her distancing herself from me. With her being all the way in Houston and me stuck here, I had no way to fix it.
We hadn’t talked about what had happened. I’d rather not do it over text messages or emails. The right time would be when she was in my arms again. In person, I’d be able to help her the way she needed. I trusted Chris was getting her the help she needed.
But I couldn’t help feeling what she needed most was me.
I’d gotten suspended from school for beating the shit out of Josh. So I’d been doing my schoolwork from home also. The school was trying to decide what to do with me, whether or not to expel me. On the one hand, Josh had assaulted Gianna and my reaction had been provoked and totally justifiable. On the other hand, I’d beaten the shit out of him badly enough to land him in the hospital.
The bright side of all this was that Josh had already gotten expelled. He was also arrested the moment he’d been released from the hospital. My dad had kept in contact with Julie enough to let me know what was going on with the charges against Josh.
I cringed at the thought of my own upcoming meeting with the justice system. Next week I had to go in front of a juvenile court judge for assaulting Josh.
It probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but I was already on probation for assault for when I’d beat up Claudette’s ex-boyfriend the night he’d shown up at her apartment and hit her. I’d put him in the hospital just like Josh and my lawyer was afraid the pattern of behavior would look bad to the judge. At the time I’d been found guilty of assaulting the other guy, the judge had claimed I’d gone too far in my effort to protect Claudette, something about unnecessary force.
By that point, I’d already been arrested for minor offenses and the assault charge had called for major action on the justice system’s part, hence probation. I’d visited my probation officer the other day and he hadn’t been too happy with me. The guy was an ass.
Lying on my bed, listening to depressing music, feeling sorry for myself, I sent Gianna another text.
Miss you
After four minutes, I was watching the clock, I got a text back: Miss you too
Okay, I’d take that.
Love you, beautiful
Love you too
Right, that made me feel marginally better.
Can’t wait to hold you again, princess
I knew it was hard for her to text with her broken wrists, so I waited patiently. Ten minutes later her next text came.
Watching a movie with my dad
When are you coming home?
She sent back, Not sure
Have court next week
Three minutes later, Hope you don’t get in trouble because of me
Not your fault, any of it
When she still hadn’t messaged back fourteen minutes later, I texted her again.
How are you?
She finally texted me back.
Fine
That didn’t tell me much. I gave up for now, frustrated by the lack of communication. When we were face-to-face again, I wouldn’t let her hide from me.
I sent her, Love you, TTYL
Okay
The helpless, panicky feeling was back again. What the hell was I supposed to do? I tried to reassure myself I could fix everything once Gianna was back in Denver. Her dad was supposedly going to sell his house in Houston, pull out of his partnership with a group of other plastic surgeons and buy a home in the suburbs for him, Gianna and Chance to move into.
Chris had threatened Julie
with taking her to court to get all her parental rights revoked if she fought him for custody. He probably wouldn’t go that far, but Julie wasn’t chancing it. Gianna wanted to live with her dad and Chris told Julie there was no way a judge would make her stay with an “unstable mother.” Despite the vast difference in their ages, a judge also wouldn’t want to separate a brother and sister. I imagined Julie was cooperating because she didn’t want anyone to call her crazy on record.
Once Chris moved here, everything would get better.
My dad wasn’t pissed at me at all about beating up Josh, but my mom was upset. She said while she understood why I’d done it she just wished none of it had ever happened.
We all felt that way.
She was also upset about my date with juvie court. My parents planned to be there to support me and hoped the judge would be lenient once my lawyer explained the situation.
A few times in the past couple weeks I’d wondered how Ian had fared. I was sure his dad eventually showed up to get him out of juvie. He probably had a court date scheduled, too.
Gianna must have not told Cece and her other friends about what had happened. When I saw Dante yesterday, he didn’t mention anything about it. Since Dante dated Cece and Cece had a big mouth, I figured if she knew, he would also. Since Gianna didn’t seem to want them to know, I wasn’t about to tell anyone.
They all seemed to think she was just visiting her dad in Houston.
*****
Six days later, on a Wednesday, I found myself sitting with my parents outside the courtroom dressed in a suit, waiting for my case to be called. My mom was checking her lipstick again, a nervous habit, so I tried to soothe her, “It’ll be fine, mom.”
She forced a smile. “I know. I just always hate this part.”
My smile came easily. Gianna was coming home next Tuesday and things were looking up. “Oh really, I thought you hated most the part where you see your baby boy in handcuffs.”
“Remind me to take away your car,” my dad grumbled on the other side of me.
“Look who it is, my good friend, Caleb,” I heard from a few feet away.