Chapter 33.
At midnight, the door of the Werther house opened. Kathy stepped inside quietly, thinking of her sleeping children. A smell of cigarette smoke clung to her coat and fingers. During her soul searching hours she rediscovered a habit she had kicked for ten years. But lighting up in her rusty Toyota did not give the satisfaction it once did. Every light in the house burned brightly and she started to flick switches in making her way to the kitchen. A folder in her hand contained important documents, the beginning of the end for Josh and Kathy's marriage. In the kitchen, she gathered herself, intending to wake Josh and deliver the news to him.
An electrical hum came from the living room and Kathy shook her head, knowing that the TV caused the white noise. Steeling herself for confrontation, she entered the living room expecting to find Josh sitting up, but when she turned the corner, she saw the girls on the carpet, in costume, sleeping on the floor with dirty faces. "That man," she whispered, kneeling down to stroke Rhea's hair away from her face.
"Mommy," said Rhea, with her eyes still closed.
"Hello sweetheart," said Kathy. "Let's take you up to bed."
"I don't want to go to bed. I'm scared."
On the floor nearby, Dawn stirred. Rhea asked, "Is he awake now?"
"Is who awake?"
"Is Bryce home yet?"
Dawn sat up and looked at Kathy, until she broke out in tears. Kathy said, "Dawn, what's wrong? You girls are tired. It must have been a big night. Why didn't your father put you in bed? Where is he?" This display of Josh's neglect fueled her anger further.
Dawn said, "Bryce is…"
"Bryce is what?" Kathy did not understand. "He's sleeping?"
"No, he's not sleeping," said Dawn. "He's with Daddy and Dr. Parker."
The mention of the doctor made Kathy's knees freeze and she put her hand on Rhea's back to steady herself. "Where is Bryce, Dawn? You girls," said Kathy, "you probably ate a lot of candy…and – "
"He fell, Mommy," said Dawn. "He fell over the railing, and Dr. Parker and Daddy took him to Tonnamowoc."
A lump in Kathy's chest formed. "He fell? Where did Bryce fall? Is he upstairs?"
"No," said Dawn.
The papers in the folder were forgotten. Kathy's chest started to heave and she leaned over with her hand upon her sternum, pressing hard against herself. "We need to find Daddy," she said, stuttering, unable to digest what Dawn had said about the fall. Grabbing an arm of the couch, Kathy lifted herself to her feet, she pressed her other hand against Rhea's cheek and only then sensed the presence of others in the house. At the kitchen table, she saw Renee and Ethan sitting in silence.
Renee stood and said, "Kathy, we need to go to Tonnamowoc. Dr. Parker asked us to watch the girls. But we need to go now. Bryce is breathing but he's in critical condition. Josh is in a waiting room."
The girls followed their mother. Both Rhea and Dawn were in tears once again. Rhea picked up her teddy bear and held her mother's hand as they made their way out the door to the car.
Renee drove while Kathy sat in a catatonic state in the passenger seat. The girls rubbed their faces, trying to stay awake, but dozed off. Rhea leaned on Ethan's shoulder with each bend in the road, as Renee sped past the fields and farmhouses.
When they reached the waiting room where Josh was supposed to be, they found nothing but empty chairs. A nurse directed Renee and Kathy to a room down a hall. Nearing the door, Kathy heard a noise coming from one of the bedrooms, a muffled sound, and she closed her eyes and kept a tight grip, listening for the sound of Bryce, but only heard the mumbling of Josh.
Kneeling before a bed, Josh held his hands in prayer and leaned his head against the slats of the hospital bed rail, wearing a grimace on his face. Around his knuckles she saw the beads of a rosary and between mutterings, Josh pressed Bryce's blanket against his face and kissed it several times.
Seeing Bryce's inert face caused Kathy to drop the folder she had clutched since arriving at home, despite putting thoughts of divorce out of mind. She stepped forward toward the bed and dropped near Josh, her knees thudding on the tile, and she slowly leaned forward until her forehead touched Bryce's hand. She rebounded and grabbed her husband's shirt and said, "How could you, how could you, you careless man?" And she beat on his chest with her fists.
Josh ignored the blows and pressed the blanket to his face. "Your father was here."
Kathy looked with abhorrence at Josh. "My father is dead, Josh."
"Ben was here," Josh said, his voice pitching high as his throat quivered. "I saw your father."
Kathy said, "You're a fool. Is Bryce alive?"
"I saw Ben again." In a trance, Josh spoke. "I saw a man in the corner of the room. He spoke to me. It was Ben, your father, Kathy. I saw him."
Kathy's stopped she leaned into Josh, letting her head fall to his lap and then to the Bryce's hand again. She wanted him to stop.
"And Ben told me Bryce is here yet, with us. Did you see Grandpa? Girls - girls did you see him? Did Grandpa come to you?" Josh reached out and pointed at the bed and the wall with his still-folded hands and looked beseechingly at his daughters. "He was here," said Josh, "as real as the metal on this bed. Your father, Kathy, he said – he told me that he had been waiting for Bryce but that God is not ready for him. That God loves the children most in heaven. And that Bryce…" He broke off as his voice failed under a sorrowful joy.
Immovable from the floor, Kathy heard the words and started to sob, unable to control her hands from shaking. The anger departed her, displaced by grief, seating itself in her, deeper than any fury or resentment. She ignored Josh and lost herself in the lights coming from the screen that showed Bryce's vital signs, taking little solace in the jagged line that echoed the beats of her son's heart. Her daughters surrounded her and touched her back, stroking Kathy's hair while she trembled.
"Your father," Josh said, hands pressed tightly against his chest as he tried to still his voice, "I didn't know it was your father at first. He said many things." Josh pushed the beads in his fingers and leaned back to speak more clearly. "He said many things. That I must change. He said I can't destroy myself, that Bryce will be waiting for us in the morning. Ben said that Bryce may walk again one day. He said I must take care of his family and come clean about all things, if I want to see heaven, and all of you after this life. He knew the sins against my family that I've committed. It is for my sins, for my sins, my sins worse than all the sins in the world…all the sins in the world I must take upon myself now. For my son, so that he can walk again."
Then Josh could speak no more but only think and pray and yearn with his whole body. Yearning for the hours back. When Bryce bloomed. When the boy put his arms around his neck and called him Daddy. When he wanted to be pulled in the wagon. When he wanted Josh to go down the slide with him. When he wanted Josh to ask a question just so he could say "No". When he said Mop. When he learned to pedal his tricycle. When a wail in the night struck fear in him. To get up and rock the boy one more time. To hear the horrible sound of colic again. To scrub the baby boy in the tub. To look in the rear-view mirror and watch his gaping snore after a day at the pool or the petting zoo. When he first rolled over. When he babbled. When he ate a cracker. When simple things were everything. When there wasn't time to shower or shave. When the boy stood in the crib and reached out round arms begging to be picked up. Just to be held by his father. And the greatest pain in Josh came from the time he evaded the boy in pursuit of frivolous fantasies, meaningless work, and selfish wants. All his possessions, all his future days, Josh would have traded to see the boy tumbling around the house, wearing the box on his head, or throwing an able-bodied tantrum. So much taken for granted, now lost privileges. The baby bottles, the endless messes – and how Josh had grudgingly performed these chores. Josh was damaged permanently by his error, until his final hour.
Eth
an and Renee entered the room and sat on the floor near the two girls. Ethan pulled Rhea into his lap, and she folded his hands inside of her little palms.
"Daddy, can I say a prayer for Bryce?" she said.
Josh could not move, or even nod. Unable to speak, he pressed his face into Kathy's hair, and Dawn stroked both of her parents' heads while Renee tried not to sob aloud, but watched in agony and wished to God for the boy's strength to awaken. And Rhea on Ethan's lap, with his hands, prayed the angels through the night, to keep Bryce safe 'til morning's light.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Many thanks to my readers, especially the ones who took a stab at the early drafts. Special thanks to those who went the distance through the rough: Linda Carpenter, Khalid Adad, and Dallas Flies.
The Plenty is part two of the family saga that I call the "Immaculate series."
Thanks for reading!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Peter Anthony is the author of A Town Called Immaculate, Accelerating Returns, and Drill & Sanctimony.
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