***
Amid a cloudless, pastel mauve sky, Eden’s spirited young sun strutted smugly to its summit overhead. Despite its swagger, showering the planet with its radiant violet, the sun’s rays were by no means uncomfortably hot. Instead, its warm kiss served only to ensure us that the stalking chill of winter was now a mere distant memory. As my eyes danced over the smiling, laughing, eating huddles dotted all over the open gathering area, most of the beaming faces were unconsciously tilted heavenwards like a field of flowers responding to the sun’s charm. It was a beautiful day, one tailor-made for celebration.
I couldn’t celebrate, however.
For all the amazing food presented in a self-help buffet, beautifully arranged on a number of tables in the centre of the field, I wasn’t hungry at all.
I was again lost in my head, unable to get the picture of a broken and despairing Scott out of my mind. My thoughts ran wild, imagining what connection could exist between Dylain and Ruzzell; a whirligig of suspicion and speculation. How could Dylain even be in contact with Ruzzell, let alone in league? We hadn’t seen Dylain since last year, when he was announced as a Mzee during the midday session.
My mind huffed and puffed. Since our interviews took place in the afternoon, could Ruzzell have been interviewed by Dylain? Yes, that’s probably it. Serving on Huduma for several years now, perhaps Dylain recruited followers during last year’s personal interview sessions. The matchups were drawn from a bowl to ensure unscripted connections, to prevent favouritism. Did Dylain somehow rig the interview process? And if so, why? What was he trying to achieve?
Geez! Listen to yourself, you’re delusional!
“Rist … Ristan!”
“Yes, what?” I looked up, someone had called for me.
I’ve got to get out of my head!
“Rist … over here!” It was Nadalie, sitting on the grass with a wooden bowl piled with food. And next to her sat Gellica. “Where’s your plate? Get some food … come and join us.”
I had totally forgotten my encounter with Nadalie on the trot here. This was all too much. Hey, I’m just a simple, uncomplicated guy! Actually, a big baby who misses his father. I found myself walking towards the two girls. Involuntarily. On automatic pilot.
“Aren’t you hungry?” asked Gellica, looking frayed and tired, and on edge as I sat down.
I was certainly teetering—trying hard to control the anxious tremble I felt start in my toes and work its way up my legs. Being close to her now seemed to bring the weight of my impending judgment to the fore. My chest in a vice, I felt short of breath. “No, not really.”
Wouldn’t keep it down actually.
“Not hungry!” choked Nadalie. “Are you okay? It’s you know ... today!”
“Yep,” I said. “Happy birthday to you both … and happy anniversary to us all!” I think I managed to keep the sarcasm under control.
“To you, too. Cheers!” said Nadalie as she tilted her head to one side, like she was trying to tell me something.
That’s an odd look?
“We’re all a year older. Yay,” said Gellica in a flat, indifferent tone.
“Gellica…” I said, my eyes catching hers, “…I do remember for you today.” She knew I referred to her parents’ death on this day six years earlier; the phrase ‘remember for you’ standard lingo among us. Enough to convey sympathies; not too much to rehearse details.
“Thank you, Rist,” she smiled bravely, her brown eyes looked golden in the sunlight. My heart skipped a beat. “And you, are you okay?” she asked pointedly.
“About?” I was momentarily distracted, lost in her presence; in the corner of my eye, Nadalie tipped her head again, giving me that peculiar squint.
“The grievance inter...” she bit her lip, “...um, how did the interview—?” Gellica suddenly burst into tears and cupped her face in her hands. “I’m so, so sorry … I can’t believe I lied about you…”
Startled by her raw emotion, I was not sure what to do. My jaw flapped open and closed uselessly. Nadalie immediately flung her arms around her friend. She too started crying.
Oh, geez!
“No, please,” I squeezed out the words, “don’t apologise … you did nothing wrong … neither of you.” It was too much; my heart leapt into my mouth. With my thoughts in a tangled knot, I stood up and walked away.
“Rist, stay please,” I heard Gellica’s voice behind me, but I kept walking. In about twenty minutes, the Mzees would give their state-of-the-year address, ending with the judgments, punctuated by my purported indiscretion. It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to be sitting next to the woman I supposedly struck. At least, that’s what I told myself to keep from turning back.
Man! I forgot…
I kicked myself for not returning Gellica’s pendant. It totally slipped my cluttered brain.
Nadalie’s oddball look! She must think I’m such a tree stump.
I wanted to cave into a colossal mope, a pity-party to which no one else was invited. I never usually had the time for such indulgences. But this was turning out to be a lousy anniversary and a miserable eighteenth birthday.