Chapter 17
Though I was keen to get out of camp, I asked Dixan to fetch his bow and give me a few minutes as everyone dispersed.
“Gellica? Can I have a word with you?” I asked before she headed off.
“Yes, of course,” she said, touching her hand to my shoulder for just a second. I felt tingly warm all over, and felt my face flush.
Did her eyes brighten up?
“Gellica, I don’t know how to thank you—”
“No, thank you. I’m just glad yesterday is behind us.” A strand of her hair fell across her face; I resisted a compelling urge to tuck it behind her ear.
“Listen, Gellica … um, this is yours.” I put out my hand.
She looked confused for an instant, before opening her hand in response. I placed her mother’s pendant carefully in her palm. “It’s a thank you gift I can’t accept … and don’t deserve.”
“Rist,” she bit her lip. “It’s more than a thank you; it’s a—”
“Gellica, I … I can’t take it,” I said, closing her hand over the pendant. The feel of her hand was electrifying. Compared to my hard, calloused hands, hers were soft yet firm. I tried letting go, but she held on to mine.
“Rist … I … I...” She looked beautiful, strong and vulnerable at the same time. It was my turn to bite my lip. In that moment, I hated myself.
What am I doing? … Judd!
In the corner of my eye, I saw Judd approaching. Realising we were still hand in hand, I quickly let go. I felt my cheeks burn bright red, and my hand instinctively went in search of an itch on the nape of my neck that suddenly needed scratching.
“Hey, how are my two favourite people doing on this fine day?” asked Judd, oblivious to my acute embarrassment and our awkwardness. And to his credit, he had been the only one deliberately trying to spread a little cheer to everyone that morning.
“Good,” I said rather too eagerly. “I-I was just thanking Gellica for what she did yesterday.”
“Yes,” Judd gushed; his eyes glued on her. “You were so brave, Gels. Amazing … you were just … you are amazing.”
Gellica’s cheeks flushed pink; self-conscious, her eyes dropped to the floor for a second before flicking between Judd and me. His bold compliment had robbed her of words and me of breath; I anxiously sought for an escape route.
“Thanks, Judd,” she said gracefully with a blink and a careful breath; and then looking into my eyes so that my heart actually hurt, she sighed. “Rist, we need to—”
“Dixan!” I said as I caught sight of him. I looked back at Judd and Gellica sheepishly. “Listen, I should … I need to go. The two of you should talk.”
Walk on! Run, twit!
I stumbled off on stiff legs, my knees locked together. I had made a decision in the beauty of my golden-dawn experience, and the injection of hope it had infused me with gave me the strength to see it through. I knew my role in the clan, my place in this world. I was a plain, uncomplicated guy, and way too young to master the potpourri issues of the heart.
Yep, keep telling yourself that. Self-deception goes a long way.
As I made my way to Dixan, Nadalie intercepted my path—appearing out of nowhere like a hungry predator jumping its startled prey.
“Rist, what are you doing?” Her lips pursed in annoyance, her eyes striking.
“Geez, Nadalie!” I put my hand on my thumping heart. “What do you mean?”
“I watched the whole thing. I know how you feel about her.”
I rubbed my scar. “Look, I know you care about Gellica.”
“And you,” she added.
“You’re a good friend. You really are.” I sucked in a breath. “But you’re interfering.”
Even though she deflated like a balloon, she took my gentle rebuke in the spirit I had given it. “I know … but I don’t understand your reticence,” her mouth puckered like she tasted something nasty. “I know how she feels, and I know how you feel—”
I exhaled sharply. “But you don’t know how Judd feels.”
“What?” she looked over my shoulder at Judd engrossed in his discussion with Gellica, his infatuation now evident to all. “Oh, crud!”
“Yep, that’s one way of putting it. He’s a good man, Nads … a better man than me.” I cringed the instant I said it—perhaps it sounded like a noble sentiment on planet jackass, but on this planet, in this moment, it was stupid and self-serving. And corny. I scratched my head hard. “What I mean is, he’s certainly better suited to cope with the … with this pink and fluffy stuff—”
“But, Ristan, he’s not you.” Tears filled Nadalie’s eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. It was all too much gush for me.
“Look, I really need to go.” I stifled the guilty grimace that squeezed onto my face and turned to join Dixan, who was ready and raring.
Freaking heck!