“So who was that?” Eric asked.
“An old friend,” Turquoise answered vaguely. She looked at the store, but could not see Greg from where they were parked.
Eric turned toward her with worry drawn on his face. “He talked like you two were close.”
“He and Cathy were close,” Turquoise amended.
Eric frowned. “Aren’t you Cathy?”
“No,” Turquoise argued. “Cathy was … stupid. She couldn’t defend herself. Blissfully ignorant,” she added dryly.
“Innocent. Not stupid.”
“What makes you so wise?” Turquoise grumbled, mostly to herself. She started the car, attempting to drop the conversation.
Eric wouldn’t let it drop; he answered her question. “It’s the same thing the vampires do,” he answered, “and I’ve spent a lot of time around them. You don’t want to think of Cathy as you because she had weaknesses. You’re a hunter, so you’re not allowed to have weaknesses. A predator doesn’t like to admit it’s ever possible it can be prey” Quietly he added, “And maybe you don’t want to think that the girl Greg dated was capable of killing.”
Turquoise realized her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. She bit back a sharp criticism, remembering at the last moment that she had agreed to bring him, and had not been forced into it. “Cathy couldn’t make herself crush a spider walking on her bedside table,” she argued, her voice tight. “She was weak, and Daryl destroyed her.”
“Cathy is you,” Eric asserted again. “Daryl couldn’t destroy her. He just made her a little harder, a little more scared — yes, scared,” he continued, ignoring Turquoise’s protest. “Cathy didn’t need to hunt because she wasn’t afraid of life.”
“Okay then I’m scared,” Turquoise growled. “But I can’t go back. I know what’s out there, and if I turn my back on it, that won’t make it disappear.”
“You’d rather admit Daryl won than admit you were ever prey” Eric said softly.
“Daryl did win — that battle.” She was nearly shouting now. “He murdered my father and my ten-year-old brother in front of me, and I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t fight him. I couldn’t do anything. I spent one year in his house, little better than a pet, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Cathy died in there — her innocence, her illusions, her dreams —”
“Your dreams,” Eric interrupted. “What are you now? A hunter; I know that. Anything else?”
The question stymied her. Anything else?
Turquoise Draka was a high-ranking member of Crimson, and one of two competitors for the position of leader. She had a web of contacts and associates, but friends? Those were scarce, if they existed at all. She had a love of the hunt, an addiction to the sweet rush of adrenaline. Anything else?
Probably another ten or fifteen years of life. Though the lifespan of a member of Bruja was slightly longer, most hunters didn’t live past their mid-thirties. Age could catch up, making the hunter slow. But mostly death came in the form of the inevitable slipup. Carelessness. Human imperfection.
“Let it drop, Eric,” she ordered, or tried to. Her voice wasn’t hard enough to be commanding.
“What did Cathy want to do?” Eric pressed, his voice more gentle now.
“I said, let it drop.”
Cathy had wanted to help people. She had wanted to go into medicine, or teaching. She had wanted to work with children; Turquoise remembered that. She had cared about everything.
And everything had been able to hurt her.
Some people use things — people, objects. They destroy. You’re a creator, a builder, a healer, not a user. That line came to her mind time and again, no matter how wrong it now was.
Now she was a killer, a mercenary. And that was all.
CHAPTER 18
NATHANIEL WAS WAITING in her living room when she got home. Lounging on the couch in jeans, a T-shirt, and a denim jacket, he looked casual and chic at the same time. Moreover, he looked comfortable, as if brightly lit suburban homes were a natural part of his life.
He rose to his feet like a cat, in one smooth movement, to greet them. “Eric, it’s good to see you safe. Milady Turquoise, you look like he’s been tugging your chain.”
“A bit.” Turquoise worked to wipe the frown from her brow.
Eric looked between the two of them, and then announced, “I’m going to put stuff away.”
“I can help —”
He shook off her offer. “No problem.”
“That boy is about a hundred years old,” Turquoise sighed.
“Too much time around vampires,” Nathaniel agreed. “He’s not worse off than you are, though.” In response to her wary expression, he added, “I’ve no plan to chastise you. Your life is your own.”
Not wanting to dwell, Turquoise broke right into her questions. “Did I get set up for a suicide mission?”
Nathaniel sat back down. “If you were after Jeshickah, yes. There are vampires thousands of years older than she is that would love to destroy her, but know better than to put the knife in place themselves.”
“Why? She isn’t so strong,” Turquoise asserted. “A knife in her heart would kill her. Who’s protecting her that can make other vampires wary?”
“Jeshickah’s sister is one of Sietes fledglings.” Seeing Turquoise’s confusion, he elaborated, “Siete is the creature that created our kind. He’s ancient; people say he’s truly immortal. If you killed Jeshickah, her sister would demand your death, and Siete isn’t a creature you could fight.” He shook his head. “When you asked to get into Midnight, I’d thought you were after Jaguar. If I had known who your target was, I would have stopped you.”
“Why?” she pressed. “I’ve never known you to watch out for anyone else, not unless you were paid for it. Why now?”
“This might surprise you,” Nathaniel retorted, and Turquoise realized suddenly that she had insulted him, “but I was human for twenty years before I was changed, and unlike some of Jeshickah’s fledglings, I actually had a soul. I consider you a friend, Turquoise. Is it so shocking that I wouldn’t want you to die?”
No words came to Turquoise’s lips. Completely taken aback by his revelation, she could only shake her head.
“I was one of her early experiments,” Nathaniel explained. “Her third fledgling. She intended for me to be a trainer; I was the first person to refuse her and survive.” His gaze flickered to the kitchen, where Eric was busy ignoring them, and then returned to Turquoise. “After me, she started looking for those who already showed the tendencies she wanted. Gabriel was her favorite, but she was too fond of him; she never managed to own him, not the way she did the others.
“The others, of course, included Jaguar.”
A moment of silence passed before Turquoise ventured, “But why however many years later, did you save me from Daryl? You’re not evil, but you say it yourself — you’re no white knight.”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Daryl wanted to get rid of you anyway, so it was no skin off my back. And maybe because you reminded me of myself.”
“Of you?” The words came out a startled yelp.
“When I was a human,” he clarified, “in Jeshickah’s Midnight.”
Turquoise stood, too frustrated to stay still. “You were another one of her … pets?”
“Never,” he quickly replied. “She tried. She lost her temper before she broke me, and she hurt me too badly for me to survive as a human. She preferred to change me rather than admit defeat, and by the time she realized she couldn’t control me, I was too influential in her empire for her to destroy me.” He continued before Turquoise could respond. “It sounds like Jaguar has experienced the same sense of familiarity with you,” Nathaniel added.
You, I could believe,” Turquoise retorted. “But I’ve heard enough about Jaguar’s life to know we have nothing in common. Cathy had a perfect life before Daryl took her.” She could hear the bitterness in her voice. She had spent eighteen years as a bl
issful innocent before being thrown abruptly into pain. She had barely survived the break.
Would she rather have had Jaguar’s life? She had lost everything to Daryl, but at least she had good memories, faded as they were.
Nathaniel shook his head. “Jaguar’s trying to break away from Jeshickah. He won’t be able to do that until she’s dead, and even then I doubt he’ll ever fully manage it. You’re trying to break away from Daryl —”
“I have,” Turquoise corrected.
Nathaniel just nodded, and tactfully changed the subject. “What’s your plan now?”
“I don’t have one,” she answered honestly.
“Are you going back to Bruja?”
“Of course. I’ve got Challenge to fight,” she responded immediately though the moment she said the words she wondered about them. Eric’s questions about Cathy’s dreams fluttered around in her brain, brushing uncomfortably against her thoughts.
Nathaniel had introduced her to Bruja. She had entered the guild as a chance to get strong, and to learn to defend herself. She had not intended for it to be her whole life, but hunting had consumed her. What else was she supposed to do? Sitting in classrooms didn’t strike her as something she could survive. Chatting with Greg had given her a good idea of how distant her life was now from the one she had once planned.
Nathaniel sensed her uneasiness, and turned the conversation from personal to general. “They say one of the original founders of Bruja was a vampire.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Turquoise answered. “The guilds aren’t known for their humanity. Is the vampire still … alive?” It seemed strange, asking if a vampire was alive, but English didn’t have a better word.
“She’s alive,” Nathaniel answered. His voice was light, almost humorous. “But she refuses to answer whether the rumor is true. She alternates between living as a reclusive artist, and cutting an unmerciful, bloody swath through human society. Everyone needs balance, I suppose.”
Turquoise chuckled, imagining the contrast.
Nathaniel’s expression clouded; he reached into his jacket pocket for something. “Jaguar suspected you would be in contact with me. He wanted me to give you this.” Reluctantly, he handed over a sealed letter.
“Have you read it?” Just because the letter was sealed didn’t mean Nathaniel hadn’t opened it.
“Jaguar paid me well,” Nathaniel replied. “He’s worked with enough mercenaries to mention I wasn’t allowed to read it.” If Jaguar hadn’t specifically included that clause, Nathaniel would have broken the seal without hesitation. A major part of his business was information.
On the flip side, if Nathaniel took money for his client’s confidentiality he would never violate it.
As Turquoise slit the envelope, Nathaniel added, “He’s trying to respect your wish for privacy, but if you really don’t want him to know where you are, you have to get rid of the boy” Turquoise’s gaze lifted in an involuntary glare, in response to which Nathaniel flashed a harmless smile. She had agreed to take care of Eric; she wouldn’t ditch him. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t go for it. But the kid belongs to Jaguar. Any trainer can track his slaves, no matter where they go.”
She absorbed the information as she read the short note Jaguar had written, which invited her to meet him at a place of her choosing, at a time of her choosing. She could send an answer via Nathaniel.
What did she have to lose? She wanted to know what was happening with Jeshickah, and when Eric could safely return to the place he considered his home.
Honestly, she admitted to herself that she also missed Jaguar. He had been a rare curiosity a splash of warmth and sincerity after two years in the cold darkness of a hunter’s life. Even embroiled in all the power struggles and chaos of his world, Jaguar had a kind of wistful innocence that Turquoise could not help but envy.
Besides, a little companionship would be nice. Greg was sweet, and she was sure he would be willing to fill the empty hours she had on her hands, but it was hard to imagine a close friendship with him. He didn’t know, couldn’t know, what her life was like. How close could she get to someone who didn’t even know the monsters existed, after she had fought them tooth and nail for her very sanity?
She invited Jaguar to meet her in a café in the town center.
“I’ve told you before, you’re mad,” Nathaniel informed her, as he took the message. “But it’s never seemed to change your mind.”
CHAPTER 19
JAGUAR SHOWED UP exactly on time. Turquoise blinked at her first glimpse of him in the doorway, trying to assure herself it was really the vampire she knew.
Jaguar would attract eyes everywhere he went; he would never be able to blend into a small town. But he was trying.
His hair had been brushed back from his face and tied, so from the front it appeared short. He was wearing jeans; that alone was weird. They were black, faded a bit at the knees, but seeing Jaguar in denim was a shock. He was also wearing a very simple dark green T-shirt. Turquoise had grown so used to seeing bare caramel skin that he looked odd fully dressed.
He could pass for human. When he tried, he could look almost normal. If they had been in any city no one would have looked twice at him.
“You’re looking … bland.” The words were out of her mouth before she could consider them.
Jaguar laughed, sliding into the seat opposite her. “I could veil the mind of every human in here so they wouldn’t notice me, but it requires more concentration than I feel like expending.”
“You’re getting stares, anyway,” Turquoise pointed out, nodding toward a teenage girl a few tables away.
Jaguar glanced at the girl, who suddenly turned back to her food as if she had forgotten Jaguar was present. The brief display of power was unnerving.
“Man of many talents,” Turquoise murmured.
“And I’ll admit to at least half of them,” he quipped.
Since she knew Nathaniel’s words would eat at her thoughts until she had the answer, she ventured, “Nathaniel said something about your being able to track Eric if you wanted to. That another of your talents?” At Jaguar’s nod, she asked, “How?”
“Eric’s mine,” he answered, as if that explained it. Turquoise’s confusion must have showed, because he elaborated, “The connection’s not as strong as a blood bond, but I recognize his mind, and I can find it if I look. I don’t work as a trainer anymore, so I don’t usually take advantage of the bond, but it’s still a habit to make the connection with any mind not strong enough to lock me out.”
Turquoise remembered with distinct disquiet the times when Jaguar’s mind had brushed hers. “Does that include me?”
“You put up walls that keep everyone out,” Jaguar answered. The lack of a yes or a no made Turquoise uneasy. “You’ve dropped them around me before. I try not to take advantage of people who trust me — they’re rare enough as it is.”
Trust was an almost obscene word inside the mercenary world; it meant you were always susceptible to betrayal. Turquoise was struck with the desire to argue with Jaguar as soon as he spoke the word, but he was right. She did trust him, to the point where she had not even flinched for a knife when she had seen him. She had taken him at his word that he meant her no harm in this visit.
Jaguar changed the subject. “You might like to know Jeshickah will be out of the way very soon. There’s a Triste by the name of Jesse who seems to think he has enough allies of his own to risk offending hers, and is willing to deal with her for a highly exorbitant price.” Tristes had the strengths of vampires and witches combined, as well as blood that was deadly to any vampire that tried to feed on them. It made them the perfect vampire hunters.
“How long will this take?” Turquoise asked. Vampires often judged time differently than humans did.
“A few weeks, maybe a month,” Jaguar answered.
“I assume then Eric will be able to go back safely?”
“He may be a kid, but he did a lot of work there; it’s chaos
without him,” Jaguar admitted. “You’ll be welcome back once she’s gone, too,” he ventured. “Not as a slave. Just a guest. Or, if you ever get bored with Bruja, the town of Pyrige has plenty of spaces for people willing to work.”
“I’ll consider it.” She shrugged. “What’s happening with Ravyn?”
“She’s living it up, enjoying abusing Gabriel’s power. It’s more likely she’ll enslave him than the other way around.” He smiled wryly. “Gabriel has a fondness for women who are willing to kill him; it’s a dangerous habit of his.”
“And yours,” Turquoise observed.
Jaguar paused for a reflective moment. “I like to think you would at least hesitate before trying to kill me. If I’m wrong, kindly don’t correct me. I enjoy my illusions,” he added, attempting to lighten the mood. “Ravyn said something about hoping you still plan to show up for Challenge?” His tone made the words a question.
“Ravyn and I are rivals. Challenge will determine who gets to lead Crimson. If I don’t show, Ravyn gets the title.” She was about to add, “If I do show, she’ll beat me, then get the title,” when she remembered who she was talking to. “Would you like to help me practice?”
“What’s the weapon?”
“Whip.”
He looked intrigued. “You know how to use one?”
“Just barely.”
Jaguar shrugged. “There’s not much time, but I’ll teach what I can. Maybe you’ll turn out to have a knack for it.”
“Or maybe I’ll take out my own eye,” Turquoise retorted. In a way, she hoped she would lose miserably, and have an excuse to quit Bruja. Recent events had given her too much doubt.
As always, Jaguar was painfully astute. “Do you want to win?”
“Yes.” After a moment, she changed her answer to, “I don’t want to lose to Ravyn. I’m just not sure I want the title.”
Jaguar nodded. “There’s something that might help you make your choice,” he informed her. “Ravyn’s worried you’ll chicken out of Challenge, so she made a deal with Gabriel. He bought you from Jeshickah; if you win at Challenge, he’ll make you legally free-blood.”