Kaidan made good on his promise. My freckles were very happy, spoiled rotten even, but the rest of me was desperate and jealous. And he’d barely gotten started. When he got to my lower stomach, I was breathing way too hard.
He bypassed my lacy white panties, keeping them on, and I was certain now he was trying to send me into a state of insanity. His mouth landed on my inner thigh. My hips bucked and I made a really embarrassing sound of yearning.
He chuckled and pushed my hips firmly down. Again. Not funny. Then continued working his way down my leg.
I whispered, “Please,” needing so much more.
“Not yet,” he said, all maddening slowness.
I whimpered when he rolled me to my stomach and brushed my hair aside. My back felt ultrasensitive to the caress of his warm mouth. Using my heightened sense of touch was absolutely not necessary tonight. I clutched the downy covers and tried to control myself. How was he not going crazy? I knew he must be because I could smell his pheromone cloud of zesty, sweet oranges and limes around us, but his self-control was incredible.
My lower back was particularly sensitive and I gasped as he kissed me there. When he got down to my panties I felt his teeth gently bite through the lace, and he emitted a low growl. His fingers tightened on my hips and I smiled into the downiness. Ah, finally. His weakness.
“Take them off,” I said.
He didn’t hesitate, pulling down the lacy cloth.
I dared a peek over my shoulder and saw him staring at my naked body.
“My God,” he breathed.
I flipped over, and he loomed above me, both of us breathing hard. I stayed very still as Kaidan gave me a stare, starting from my rumpled hair all the way to my red-painted toes. I curled my finger through his belt loop and tried to pull him down to me, but he released my finger, lifted it to his mouth, and nipped it with his white teeth.
“I’m not done yet.”
I fell back, as his mouth lowered to my stomach again, working his way down.
Oh, wow.
Over that next hour I learned Kaidan was true to every claim he’d ever made about being good at what he did. It wasn’t fair to the rest of the world that a man like him existed. My body was spent as if I’d run a marathon, and considering that Kaidan was still mostly dressed, I knew he was just getting started.
System overload.
As he lay next to me now, leaning over me, placing angelic kisses on my lips, I was barely conscious enough to unscramble the single thought running through my mind.
I’m still a virgin.
“You can nap, luv,” he whispered.
That cleared my head. This was no time for napping! I pushed up on my elbows and glared at him. It must not have been scary enough because he chuckled.
“It’s your turn,” I said.
His chuckling stopped and turned to a heated stare as I moved closer to him. I leaned in and nuzzled his ear. He pulled my hip closer.
“My sweet little vixen.” I heard the arousal in his voice, so I licked his earlobe, and he hissed, trying to roll on top of me, but it was my turn to push him back.
No sex yet. I wanted to do to him what he’d done to me.
This time when my shaking hands went to the buttons on his shorts, he didn’t stop me. I could feel his racing heart against my shoulder. He let me undress him, and in that moment, as I acquainted myself with all of him for the first time, I learned the power of being a woman—the weakness in his eyes brought on by my touch—and the underlying trust and love I saw there. My nervousness disappeared, replaced by curiosity and a desire to make him happy. It brought me tremendous satisfaction as he reacted and lost himself in the caress of my hands and my lips.
Afterward we showered in the moonlight, lost in our new knowledge of each other. But each kiss and touch was overshadowed by one repetitive thought.
I’m still a virgin.
We wrapped ourselves in towels and went back in, eating sandwiches on the bed while Kaidan made fun of the pop love ballads on Marna’s playlist. Funny how he knew the words to so many of them.
When we finished dinner, I looked at the clock. Kaidan had walked to the window and stood staring out, towel still around his waist. I refused to let him think too much. I didn’t want any insecurities of his to rise up between us.
“Hey,” I said softly. “It’ll be midnight soon. Our wedding day is almost over.”
His face clouded, and my stomach tightened.
I stood on the far side of the bed. “Come here.”
Kaidan walked over slowly, keeping his eyes on me in my towel. When he got to the other side of the bed he put his joined hands on top of his head and eyed me across the king-size expanse. He made me feel crazy in so many ways.
I reached for the edge of my towel, and before I could think too much about it, I pulled it off, letting it drop to the floor. The cloudiness in his gaze turned stormy. I crawled across the bed toward him. I watched the surprise and lust flash across his features as I reached him and raised up on my knees to face him. My heart was beating overtime.
“Are you scared?” I asked him.
The master of lust seemed to have lost his cool because his response was a grunted “Hm?”
“Been too long?” I cocked my head to the side. “Out of practice?”
He hadn’t been with anyone in eight months. For Kaidan Rowe, that was an eternity.
His eyes got wider than I’d ever seen them, full of indignation, and I felt a rush of mean potency in my blood. Acting as the vixen he often called me, I reached out and pinched his nipple. Hard.
He let out a small holler and grabbed my wrist. With my other hand I tore off his towel. In a movement too quick for me to comprehend, he was on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
“You win,” he ground out, breathing hard.
I wanted to laugh at the thrill of my victory, but his seriousness snuffed that urge. I tried to move my hips up to him, but his body pressed me down. I stroked his cheek, which had grown a five o’clock shadow, and he rested his forehead against mine. I felt his worries creeping in—the deeds of his past haunting him.
“This is right, Kai. We love each other.”
He closed his eyes. “I’d do anything for you.”
“Just love me,” I whispered.
“I need you to know this is different for me. I’ve never felt like this with someone. I don’t just love you, Anna. I adore you.”
I kissed him, and when he pulled away, his hair hung around his eyes in sexy strands. I knew from the deep look he gave me that this was about to happen.
“Don’t look away from me, Anna,” he said.
I nodded. Nervous. Excited. “Okay.”
“If you need to stop—”
“Kai. I’m not fragile.”
“Right.”
I watched him swallow, then close his eyes as a shiver ran through his body. When he opened his eyes again, color poured through the air around him—the vivid, hot pink of passionate love.
Kaidan was showing me his colors.
It was my turn to swallow hard as I beheld the special gift he was offering. Under his thick aura of love was a strand of gray worry and even darker self-loathing. I wished I could make those go away, but only he held that power. Still . . .
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered back.
I hitched a leg around him to pull him closer. He shifted above me, his body powerful and graceful. His hips curved toward mine and I moved to meet him, gasping at the contact. I never took my eyes from Kai as we became one.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
DANCING WITH LIGHT
My goal had been to stay awake with Kaidan all night, but I must have dozed off because I woke at three a.m. with that eerie feeling of being watched. Moonlight streamed through the curtains, and I found Kaidan sleeping soundly next to me. I looked around the room but saw nothing out of the ordinary.
It must have been a full moon because the
night seemed brighter than normal. There were no streetlights. And then, suddenly, the light shifted and dimmed. Something was out there. My heart raced as I climbed silently from the bed and went to the window.
In the darkness, trailing through trees away from our cabin, was a spirit of light. An angel! Wonderment swirled through me like a windstorm. I didn’t want it to leave. I wanted to know why it’d been at our window and what it wanted—who it was.
I slipped on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and slid my feet into flip-flops. Kaidan didn’t wake up. He must have been really tired, and I couldn’t say I was surprised. Hopefully I could sneak out and make it back without disturbing him. I left our cabin in silence and took off running toward the woods.
The spirit was fast, only a dot of light now. I followed it in the direction of the Grand Canyon. I could see the nearest cabin down the road, but no lights were on. Only a crescent moon and a huge sky full of stars lit my way, so I opened my night vision to get me through the pine trees on the dirt trail. I couldn’t see the angel anymore.
This was really stupid of me. I knew better than to go out in the open at night. As I berated myself, the trees tapered off around me and I stopped and stared.
Whoa.
Fifteen feet away from me was a wooden railing, and then darkness. Nothing. It could have been the edge of the earth. I moved closer and felt a dizzying sense of vertigo until my hands grasped the rail. It was monstrous. Eerily majestic. Scary, even. Deeper and wider than I could comprehend. With my supernatural vision I could just barely make out layers of earth in the canyon walls. I wished Kaidan were at my side to see it.
From the corner of my eye I saw a shooting star. My heart thumped and I stared at the white light as it moved with graceful speed through the sky. Definitely not a star. It seemed to be dancing its way toward me, loving the open space provided by the canyon.
I held my breath as it got nearer, feeling that same awe I’d felt when angels had entered the summit in New York. Such indescribable beauty and peace, like everything was okay, and all of my worries were silly and inconsequential.
As its gossamer form neared, a song blossomed in my mind—a sound more enchanting than children laughing and choirs harmonizing. My heart grew wings.
The angel descended until we were face-to-face and I was overcome with clear, pure emotion. The spirit wore a fine cloth around its body, golden hair long and windswept. I met its perfect, angelic face, and while I didn’t recognize her visually, my heart cried out. . . .
Mother.
Through our telepathic bond I asked, “Are you . . . Mariantha?”
She smiled. “Yes, my darling girl. We finally meet.”
Her voice was the most tender sound in the universe. I felt a brief flashback to my days in the womb when I heard her singing. It was her human voice, but her angelic soul had been shadowed within it.
Words couldn’t express what it meant to have her there at that moment. I could see why Dad’s soul had been drawn to hers. She was like a sweet wind of comfort that beckoned and pulled, sweeping me closer.
“I keep watch over you when I can, Anna, though I’ve only been given permission to visit this special night. We have been celebrating your marriage.”
“You have?”
I must have looked stunned because she giggled. At least I think it was a giggle—it sounded like light, jingling chimes ringing, and it made me smile.
“Oh, yes. We rejoice when love endures. I believe you already know the truth of life, my dearest Anna. That love is the strongest force. The binding substance. The element worth existing for. That is what makes you pure of heart.”
I didn’t know what to say. I felt buoyant and light, lifted by peace. Because she was right. I did know the truth.
“Never doubt it,” she said, and her voice sounded like a song in my ears.
A bright star flashed far out in the sky, making my heart jump. Mariantha noticed it, too.
“I cannot stay.” She circled me again like she was dancing, and I turned to follow, together, spinning. Then she looked up toward the trees. “Your young man searches for you. He is frightened.”
Oh, no!
“Kai!” I called to the air. “It’s all right. I’m at the canyon.”
I pushed my hearing into the trees and heard him running down the path. I met him at the edge as he emerged barefoot, wearing only a pair of shorts. He looked around wildly, eyes landing on my mother.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. I went into his arms. He was short of breath as he stared at her. I took his hand and led him to the lookout point.
“Kaidan . . . this is my mother, Mariantha.”
His eyes got huge. He bowed his head and said, “It’s an honor to meet you.”
I couldn’t hear her, but she must have been talking to him, because he looked up at her shyly and thanked her. Then she spoke to us both.
“I must go. Guard your love, for it will lead you through the darkness.” She turned to me. “You are ever in my heart, Anna. I love you always.”
“And I love you,” I whispered to her as she drifted farther out above the canyon.
My fingers clutched the railing as she rose high with a magnificent flap of wings that took her out of view.
Kaidan and I grabbed hands and hurried back to the cabin so we weren’t in plain sight. When we got there, he grasped my face in both his hands and backed me into the wall.
“You scared me to death,” he said. “Don’t ever leave me like that again.”
“I’m so sorry. You were sound asleep, and I saw her. . . . I know it was dumb, but she was like . . .”
“A beacon to you?”
“Yes.” I reached up and held his wrists, feeling horrible that I’d scared him.
“Were they really celebrating us?” he asked. “Up there?”
I smiled. “They really were.”
His eyes glassed over, as if he couldn’t fathom anyone in heaven talking about something he’d done, much less celebrating him. His astonishment made me kiss him, wanting to capture his sensations and mingle them with mine. Kaidan responded, not holding back a single part of himself.
“Let’s not sleep tonight,” I said between kisses. We had to leave in a few hours. I didn’t want to waste a minute.
“I’m going to let you make all the rules in this marriage, Anna.”
“Good boy.”
He laughed, a delicious sound that turned his gorgeous face into that of the happy man I wanted to see. We spent the rest of our wedding night loving each other and trying to forget about the things we’d soon be facing. For those last few hours we wrapped ourselves in each other and forgot about the world.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ALL-AMERICAN BOY
Leaving Kaidan in the past had never been easy. Leaving him this time felt like I was ripping out some vital part of myself. We lingered at the airport too long, risking too much, waiting until the final calls for our flights and barely making them.
As I flew to Virginia, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. In this one way we’d outsmarted the Dukes, taking something special for ourselves. And it had been the best night of my life.
My only regret was that Patti hadn’t been there when we exchanged vows. I wanted so badly to see her—to tell her everything and be filled with her loving energy.
I’d received a text from Jay early that morning that simply said: All good. I hoped they were keeping each other safe and sane. Maybe even having a few laughs.
I bit my thumbnail and stared out at the wisps of clouds as we flew through them. Could I chance a visit to Patti and Jay? My heart accelerated in happiness as I imagined it, but I wasn’t sure I was willing to take the chance. I would never forgive myself if I drew attention to them and they were hurt.
My head spun with details and I knew I needed rest. Kaidan and I had not gone back to sleep.
Ah, my Kai . . .
I closed my eyes and allowed only happy thoughts until sleep found me.
> The dorms of Virginia Tech opened that day. I adored the castlelike gray stone buildings and mountainous landscape. Campus was a wild rumpus of minivans and families with armfuls of stuff. I felt like an outsider. An impostor. No family. No belongings. Just a book bag with a laptop and a few changes of clothes. I had spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t belong, so I should have been used to it, but that desire to fit in and be like everyone else never went away. Especially on a day like today.
I tried not to get in anyone’s way as I walked across the grassy quad to my dorm. I glanced at students playing a pickup game of touch football—guys and girls laughing, flirting, being young with their yellow and red auras. No immediate concerns for their lives. As much as their happiness made me mourn for the youthful experiences I’d never have, it also brought me joy to see people living. And to think how their lives could be even richer if we rid their world of demons . . .
A weird thought suddenly hit me as I walked through the multitudes of students and their families.
I was freaking married. My eyes got big and I stumbled a little. Then I giggled and shook my head at the craziness of it all.
At my dorm I held the door open for a mom and dad carrying a futon while their daughter walked behind them, texting on her cell phone. She let me hold the door for her as well, barely glancing up at me.
“You’re welcome,” I said brightly.
She looked at me like I was crazy.
I passed them and took the stairs up to the sixth floor, letting myself into the tiny end room, a single. As the door shut behind me, I thought for a moment that it must be the wrong room. Someone’s stuff was already there. And then I saw the note.
I didn’t know if you’d have much time for shopping, so I figured I’d help. ~P