Brandt huffed out an amused sound. “Um...no. That was...” He shook his head before murmuring, “Pretty damn spectacular,” as if that fact left him dazed.
A grin bloomed across my face as joy heated my chest. “Really?” Thank God I hadn’t been the only one feeling it.
Thank God I didn’t suck at it.
“Yeah.” He glanced at me again, but this time, when our gazes connected, his eyes flared with horror. Before I knew what was going on, he leaped upright and briskly scratched the back of his head. “I, uh, I should go.”
He started for the window. But as soon as he lifted it, I said, “Brandt.”
His entire body flinched, but he stopped what he was doing. He didn’t turn back to look at me when he said, “Hmm?”
“You came in through the front door...not the window.”
“Right. Shit.” He shut the window and wiped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry.” When he finally glanced at me, he winced. My eyes were still a little crusty from crying, so I was sure I appeared pretty bleak.
“Are you okay?” he asked, looking incredibly guilty.
“Of course.” I beamed up at him, being totally honest. Because I was okay. I was better than okay. That kiss had been...wow.
Everything.
I knew his rush to leave should probably worry me, possibly even hurt, but it actually made me feel better. Kissing me had rattled him, right down to his core.
I sorta loved that.
My mouth could actually rattle Brandt Gamble.
If I could have any superpower, that might be the one I wanted above all others.
But he looked so miserable, and guilty, and frazzled, that I couldn’t help but ask. “Are you okay?”
“Fuck, no,” he blurted before pressing a fist to his forehead, wincing and trying to revise, “I mean...yeah, of course.”
My grin grew, which only seemed to make him more irritable.
“I gotta go,” he muttered, whirling around and escaping through my bedroom door. “See you.”
A small laugh flitted from my lungs. Falling backward onto the bed, I stared giddily up at the ceiling and sighed.
“See you,” I told the empty room. And that right there was the only reason I was still happy. Because I knew I would see him again. There was no scaring Brandt off for good. No matter how much our kiss might’ve freaked him out, the one thing I could always rely on was the fact that I’d see him again, no matter what.
Since the moment he’d defended me in the school hall to Chloe Hilliard the first time we’d met, he’d been the most faithful presence in my life. He could take as much time as he needed to adjust to this. I knew he’d be back.
And I was content.
~*~
“So, how ‘bout that first kiss, huh?”
Stunned by the question, I ripped my fingers from my lips where I’d been touching them in thoughtful consternation and whirled to gape at my sister-in-law behind the wheel of my SUV.
“What?”
How the heck did she know?
It was mid-Saturday morning, and we were on our way to a checkup because my doctor had a new antispasmodic medicine he wanted me to try.
Ahh, the joys of CP.
Mason had been planning on going with me to my appointment, but at the last minute, Reese had swept in and taken his place, leaving him home with the twins. I should’ve known then it was because she’d wanted to girl-talk, but I’d been in too much of a daze to realize.
Glancing over at me, she wiggled her eyebrows. “It was everything you thought it’d be, wasn’t it?”
I shook my head. “Wha-what makes you think I was kissed?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she answered, though she laughed knowingly. “Maybe it’s that dazed look you have on your face as if you’re still reeling from it. Like you’ve been ruined for all other kisses ever. It must’ve been really good, huh?”
Good couldn’t even come close to what that kiss had been.
I still felt like a melted puddle of estrogen all these hours later.
“Mason was so sure Seth had done something wrong after Brandt ended up bringing you home last night, but I’m going to be honest. You’re glowing way too much for anything bad to have gone down.”
My body jerked with surprise at the mention of Seth. And I was sure the glow slunk right off my face.
But hell, I hadn’t even thought of Seth yet this morning. Or last night. Not after Brandt had left.
The only thing I’d been able to do was touch my tingling lips and just...grin.
Upon remembering him now, the sick swirl in my stomach returned with a vengeance. The text messages I’d read, the look on Seth’s face when he’d returned to the living room with two glasses of wine, as he was being forced to do something he dreaded…they were suddenly right there, back in my head again.
The last thing he’d wanted to do was touch me. It made me feel vile, as if I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s touch. Ever.
And here Reese was, grinning at me encouragingly. She probably assumed he’d been the one to kiss me.
“No.” I shook my head, unable to let her think that for even a second longer. “I mean...Seth and I...we didn’t...no. There was no kiss there.”
With a little moan of defeat, Reese slumped her shoulders and winced. “It was a bad date then, wasn’t it? Crap. Mason never did get out of Brandt what happened.”
When she glanced at me as if expecting the entire story, I sighed. Telling her was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact, I’d been quite happy forgetting it entirely until she’d brought it up. But everyone was going to keep wondering until I gave them something, so I glanced out the passenger side window.
Going with a half-truth, I mumbled, “He...Seth called me...the c-word.”
Reese gasped. “Cunt?”
I laughed softly and shook my head. “No. Cripple.”
“Oh.” She straightened her spine and scowled out the front windshield, her lips flat with displeasure. To her, heck, to all of us, that was a worse offense than being called a cunt. “Well, he’s out, then,” she said flippantly, when really, I knew Seth was completely and utterly dead to her now. “Which, honestly, is fine with me because I always thought you’d end up with Brandt, anyway.”
I choked on my surprise and gaped at her. “Say what?”
“Yeah, don’t even act surprised, chickie. That boy is completely and irrevocably in love with you. He worships the ground you roll upon. And it’s clear as day you love him back. Besides...” She sounded a little too smug as her lips hitched up with a superior grin. “I know you got kissed last night. And if it wasn’t from Seth, then...that leaves Brandt.”
Damn it. I hated how well she could read me.
Sinking deeper into my seat, I reluctantly admitted, “I whined to him about missing out on my first kiss, so...he gave me one.”
“Mmm hmm,” she murmured, though the look in her eyes said she knew otherwise. “If you say so.”
“What?” I demanded, surprised. “That’s exactly what happened.”
“And I totally believe you.” She reached out to pat my knee. “I just find it curious that after nine years of knowing you and being your friend without a single smooch, he waited until the very night you went out with someone else to give you your first kiss.”
I frowned, confused. “What’re you saying?”
“I’m saying he was jealous as hell. Some other dog was sniffing around his piece of meat, and he didn’t like that.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I cannot believe you just called me a piece of meat. Or him a dog. And that was totally not the case. He just felt bad for me; that’s all.”
She laughed. “Oh, sweetie. Guys do not kiss you because they feel bad for you. Ever.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up a finger. “Just be glad human men mark their territory with kisses and not by peeing on you.”
The mental image of Brandt hiking his leg near me caused me to bark out a laugh. “Oh my God. This c
onversation is so weird.”
It was just too bizarre for me to think that Brandt might actually be interested in me that way. I refused to let my mind wander. I’d let it go there with Seth, and look what had happened. Wasn’t happening again. Certainly not with Brandt. His rejection wouldn’t just hurt; it would outright slaughter me.
“Brandt knows this other guy called you the c-word, right?” Reese murmured, suddenly serious.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah.”
She blew out a relieved-sounding breath. “Good.” Strangely, there was some evil relish to her smile. “I don’t have to worry about doing anything to him myself, then. With Mr. Hot Lips Gamble on the scene, that jackass is already as good as dead.”
My stomach roiled with unease. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” I’d managed to keep Brandt from hunting Seth down last night, but he wouldn’t let it rest. “If he gets himself into trouble, it’ll be all my fault.”
“Don’t worry. After years of watching all those strange movies with you that you love so much, I’m sure he knows how to hide a body without getting caught by now.”
“Reese,” I shrieked, aghast.
She laughed and held up her hands before returning them to the steering wheel. “Kidding. But seriously, I’m sure he knows how to make a guy hurt without getting himself in trouble.”
I hoped so, because one thing I knew for sure was that he wouldn’t let this drop. His protective instincts were just that strong.
God, I loved my stupid, noble defender, even if I did worry for him.
He wasn’t the only man who’d defy trouble to guard me, though. Relieved we’d been able to keep the worst part from my brother, I glanced at Reese. “Are you going to tell Mason?” I asked. “About the kiss or the c-word?”
Reese sighed and looked momentarily torn. I knew she hated keeping stuff from him, but for me, she’d done it a few times. “I can forget about the kiss, I guess,” she finally answered, “But...probably not the other.” She winced at me and said, “Sorry.”
I nodded. “It’s okay.” He was still in the dark enough that I was sure he wouldn’t try to do something big brotherly.
Brandt, on the other hand... Yeah, I didn’t know what I was going to do there.
BRANDT
I had to be the stupidest motherfucker on the planet.
I hadn’t just kissed my best friend, I’d freaking inhaled her. I’d tasted the forbidden and it’d been the sweetest damn flavor to ever grace my tongue. In return, she’d branded a piece of herself into me permanently.
Seriously, how the hell was I supposed to kiss another woman after that without comparing her to Sarah? Without wishing...
Fuuuuck. This was not good.
What if she wanted more? I would so give it to her, but then I’d so lose her, and that was the one thing I couldn’t do. Sarah was my steady when everything else felt unstable. She was the voice of reason when I was being unreasonable. She was just...there, always there for me, whenever I needed her. I trusted her more than anyone else on the planet, except I guess I couldn’t trust her with the one thing I trusted no one with.
She had my heart, but I couldn’t give her my fears. They’d twisted a part of me, and I was too ashamed to let her see that part, because I was deathly afraid that might be the one thing to send her running for good.
“It’s CP, right?”
I jumped and glanced around to find Julianna watching me scrub beer stains from the countertop of the bar with a vengeance.
Internally cringing, I decided that agreeing to go on a date with a girl on the night before I was supposed to work with her again probably hadn’t been the smartest thing I’d ever done. But hey, with the decisions I’d made lately, smart had abandoned me long ago.
Like it’d been idiotic of me not to beat Seth’s face in last night when I’d been at his apartment to pick Sarah up.
The douche was a wily one. I’d paid a visit to apartment 5A earlier today and no one had answered the door. I’d been sure I’d heard someone inside too. But the little pussy bastard had been too scared to face me.
He should be.
I really wished I could’ve been able to bash his face in, anything to help me stop thinking about what Sarah and I had done last night.
Which reminded me Juli was blinking at me, waiting for an answer.
Shit. What had she said? Shaking my head, I murmured, “I’m sorry?”
“Your Sarah?” she prompted, making my heart thump at that title. My Sarah. “She has cerebral palsy, right?”
“Yeah,” I said slowly. Suspiciously. “How’d you know?”
She shrugged. “My cousin Benny has it. But it took me a bit to realize Sarah did too because she’s a little different than he is. While she moves more, he has a lot worse posture than her.”
I nodded, dropping the rag I was using to face her fully. “He probably has spastic CP, which is the most common type. Sarah’s is athetoid.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize there were different kinds.” She opened the glass washing machine under the counter to find that, what do you know, the crew who’d worked last night hadn’t emptied the last cycle.
So as she began to remove the dishes, I answered, “There’s a different kind for just about everything out there.”
Lifting her eyebrows, she murmured, “Touché.” She turned briefly to stack glasses with the others lining the back wall and then turned back. “My, uh...Benny. He has problems reasoning and thinking things through. I was surprised that Sarah seemed so...”
“She’s incredibly smart,” I said. “Only about a third of CP people have reasoning problems or seizures. Sarah will get seizures but has no problem thinking. In fact, last year, she cried when she got her first C in a freaking biology class.”
“She’s in college? What’s her major?”
“Computer programming. We graduate this spring.”
“Oh, you’re a student too?” Juli paused her cup stacking to send me a startled glance. “At Ellamore? Get out! I’m a junior there, but I’ve never seen you on campus. What’s your major?”
“Physical therapy.” I pulled out the next row of clean glasses to help her stack.
She sent me a smile of appreciation for helping even as she asked, “Because of Sarah?”
I winked. “You know it.” I’d always been fascinated when I’d watched people help Sarah improve her motor function.
“Hmm,” Juli hummed out in a thoughtful kind of way, pausing to watch me take up the slack in her job. “You must’ve known her a long time.”
“Nine years,” I answered. “She came to town with her mom and brother a few months before I showed up here to live with my brother. Actually, our brothers were both bartenders here at Forbidden, and that’s how we met.”
“She mentioned that. Are you working Monday?” The out-of-the-blue last question threw me for a loop since I wasn’t expecting it.
I glanced up confused. “What?”
She tossed me a rueful grin. “I was just thinking, since that’s my next night off, if you weren’t working either...we could maybe try to finish that date of ours.”
I opened my mouth and froze, not sure what to say. I had planned on apologizing to her first thing for the way last night had ended, but she’d sidetracked me with Sarah questions, and now...now she was steering the conversation where I definitely didn’t want it to go, because after last night—with Sarah—my head was so messed up, I didn’t have any business dating any woman right now.
But before I could turn her down and apologize, someone on the other side of the bar said, “You two went out last night?”
Juli and I both spun to find a very interested Colton listening in on our conversation.
I groaned. “Jesus, what do you want from me tonight, you little twerp?”
He held up a finger in my direction. “I’m not here for you, big brother. I actually came to see my future baby mama.” Then he grinned at my coworker. “So you ditched out on him early on a date, huh?
He’s a dreadfully dull guy to go out with, isn’t he? I knew it!”
While I growled at him, Julianna hissed, “I’m not your future anything, asshat.”
Colton blinked, his face a mask of stunned blankness. Obviously not expecting her to say that, he stuttered, “Uh...” A fumbling moment later, he let out an uneasy laugh. “While the idea of making babies with you is...damn, very appealing, I, um, wasn’t exactly—”
He coughed and scratched the back of his neck, murmuring, “Awkward,” under his breath just as someone else said, “Colton? Is that you?”
Spinning away a bit too eagerly, he faced the waitress who approached him, setting a hand against her swollen pregnant belly as she waddled close.
My little brother’s face lit up. “Hey, there you are! Happy birthday.” He tugged a small black box with a red bow on it from his pocket and handed it over. “This is for you.”
As Felicity’s face brightened with pleasure, Juli stepped closer to me. Out of the side of her mouth, she murmured, “That whole future baby mama shit; he wasn’t talking about me, was he?”
I winced. “Umm...”
“Wow,” she whispered. “Embarrassing.”
“He’s had a mad crush on Felicity since he was ten or eleven,” I tried to explain.
Ever since Felicity had helped him get over his nightmares, he’d given her husband a hard time about how he was going to steal her away. And even though he flirted with her mercilessly, I had a feeling he actually saw her as more of a mother figure than any kind of future baby mama.
“He does realize who Felicity’s married to, right?” Julia asked, looking almost worried for his sake. She had reason. Knox was a big motherfucker and looked mean as hell, plus he boxed professionally, so he could back up his sneer.
I laughed. “Yeah, he knows.” And he’d never acted intimidated by Knox’s dark glowers either. The kid had balls of pure steel.
“Yo,” I told him when another waitress called out a two-minute warning. “You gotta get lost, bro. We’re opening.”
He waved a hand at me, telling me to shut up and letting me know he’d heard me all at the same time. Then he hugged Felicity goodbye and turned back to the bar to flip me off before he settled his gaze on Juli.