He wasn’t going to make this easy, I guess.
My fingers just went. Jumbled or poetic, it didn’t matter. Just tell him the truth.
I miss hating you, I typed. It felt better than loving anyone ever had.
That was the truth. My mother, my dad, any friends I’d had, no one made me feel alive like him.
After a couple of minutes he hadn’t texted back. Maybe he didn’t understand what I’d meant. Or maybe he was just trying to think of what to say.
I’m fucked-up, I told him.
Keep going, Fallon.
I remembered all of the things he’d said to me in front of the mirror that night, so I told him what was in my heart.
I miss your eyes looking down at me, I said. I miss your lips in the morning.
I’m listening, he finally texted back, urging me on.
I bit my bottom lip to stifle my smile. Maybe Tate was right about sexting after all.
I miss your hunger. I miss the way you touch me. It’s real, and I want you here.
He only took about ten seconds to respond. What would I do to you if I was there right now?
The rush of blood through my heart warmed my body instantly. God, I wanted him here!
Nothing, I responded. It’s what I would be doing to you . . .
I curled my legs in and set the phone in my lap, covering my very happy and embarrassed face with my hands. I was sure I was ten shades of red right now.
My phone chimed again, and I nearly dropped it twice trying to pick it up.
What the fuck?! Don’t stop! Madoc texted, and I couldn’t contain my laughter.
This felt good, and Madoc liked it. I can do this.
I wish you were naked in my bed right now, I taunted. I wish my head was under the sheets, tasting you, my tongue all around you.
What would you be wearing? he asked.
Madoc liked me in my pajamas. He’d said so once. I’d borrowed a fitted baseball T-shirt and short sleep shorts from Tate. Not really lingerie, but Madoc wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off me either way.
You can see it if you want. I’m only an hour and fifty-eight minutes away.
His response came back within seconds.
I’ll be there in fifty-eight minutes.
I burst out laughing in the empty room. Of course, he’d risk his life speeding for any opportunity to get laid.
I shook my head, my face stretched with a smile. I’ll try not to touch myself until you get here, I texted.
Goddamn it, Fallon!
I crashed back onto the bed, laughter and happiness shooting out of every pore.
CHAPTER 22
MADOC
I rubbed my hand over my mouth, blaring Trapt’s “Headstrong” the entire way home. I’d gone round and round today, wondering if I should come back for the race. Wondering if Tate would’ve dragged Fallon along. Wondering, hoping, and then giving up.
For some reason, Fallon didn’t want to stick around to see if we were going to be something, and I only had so much pride to spare. Maybe Jared was right and I needed to chase harder.
But I needed something—anything—from her to show me it was worth it. When she first texted, I didn’t respond. I sat in my house, watching a pay-per-view fight with some of my teammates and waited.
If she didn’t know what to say, then I’d let her figure it the hell out. When she started opening up more, I was in. She missed me, she wanted me there, and Jared was right. I couldn’t let her go again. If she tried pushing me away or running, I was going to push her until she told me what her deal was. Relationship or not, I needed to know what the fuck was going on with her.
And then when she started flirting, I was already grabbing my car keys.
An hour and five minutes later, I was pulling up in front of Tate’s house, the street already packed with cars from the party going on at Jared and Jax’s house next door.
Parking across the street, I climbed out of the car only to notice Fallon running out of Tate’s front door.
Jesus.
She wore short, little pajama shorts and a tight white-and-gray baseball tee, the thin strap of her little handbag hanging across her chest. She had sneakers on with no socks, showing me all of her beautiful legs from the ankles to the tops of her thighs.
Fuck lingerie.
In good-girl PJs with her hair hanging in beautiful waves, Fallon was the only thing I could see or think about.
My arms hummed to hold her, and when I saw her running down the porch steps and across the street, I had just enough time to reach out and catch her as she jumped into my arms. Wrapping her arms and legs around me, she crushed her mouth to mine, and I groaned as we fell back against my car.
“Damn, baby,” I gasped out in between kisses. Her mouth on mine went hard, fast, and deep. Her tongue rubbed against mine and darted out to flick my top lip, and then dived back in again. My arms were wrapped around her waist, and she was practically crawling on me, trying to get closer with each kiss.
There was no kindling for this fire. A blaze was already painfully strong in my jeans, and my dark blue T-shirt burned my neck where she grasped and pulled it.
But I didn’t care. My fingers dug into her back, eating up all of this. Her moans vibrating in my mouth, the way she clung to me . . .
I spun us around, so that her back was against my car door, and started to give it back. Her hands ran into my hair and down the sides of my face and then dived lower.
I pulled my face back, gasping with our noses pressed together. Her hands went into my shirt, and I broke out in chills when her fingertips dragged along my stomach.
Her lips bit at the air, trying to catch mine. She then pushed herself up, wrapped her arms back around my neck, and began raining soft, light kisses around my mouth, on my cheek, and down my neck.
My dick pressed against my jeans, and I fucking wished we were somewhere private, so I could get inside of her right now, right here.
“Madoc.” Her whisper sounded like she was in pain.
“Shhh,” I ordered, going in for her lips again.
But she pulled away. “No, I need to say this.” She held my face and looked into my eyes. That’s when I noticed she wasn’t wearing her glasses.
Her beautiful green gaze searched my eyes with a little fear, and her face was flushed pink. God, she was beautiful.
“Madoc, I love you,” she whispered. “I’m in love with you.”
My fists tightened around her shirt, and I almost dropped her there.
What?
My heart seemed to thud deeper and deeper into my chest, descending into my stomach. Sweat broke out across my forehead, and my legs were nearly gone.
She stared at me, looking scared but definitely awake and alert. She knew what she was saying, and I ran the words over and over in my head.
Madoc, I love you. I’m in love with you.
I lowered my chin, narrowing my eyes. “Do you mean that?” I asked.
She nodded. “I’ve loved you forever. There’s so much I need to tell you.”
My arms tightened around her, and the biggest fucking smile I ever felt broke out across my face.
“Nothing else matters,” I told her, sweeping up her lips for another kiss so hard we couldn’t breathe.
“Hey, guys?”
I heard a shout come across the street, from the party I would assume. Without breaking the kiss, I stuck my middle finger out behind me toward Jared’s house.
I heard a laugh. “As much as I’d like to watch you two have sex and all, I really don’t want to have to clean up another round of Teens Gone Wild on the Internet!”
Jax.
Fallon buried her mouth in my neck, hugging me and laughing. “What’s he talking about?” she asked.
Yeah, long story. Jax rocked it with computers, and he was definitely right. We needed to get off the street.
“Jared and Tate.” I leaned in, kissing her and completely fucking turned on right now. “I’ll explain another
time. Let’s get inside.”
“No.” She shook her head but continued to come in for quick kisses, stroking my chest and neck. “Take me home. To your bed. Lock me up in your room and feed me until the only thing I know how to do is moan your name.”
I pushed her back into the car and drowned in her lips again, slamming my hand into the door in frustration. Jesus Christ, I wanted her so bad right now.
Several hoots and calls erupted behind me, and I knew we had an audience now. I heard Jax laughing and yelling at us while others simply screamed, “Whoo!”
Idiots.
“I love you,” I whispered into her mouth. “Let’s go home.”
• • •
The entire drive to the house was fucking torture. Fallon wouldn’t stop touching me, nibbling on my ear, running her hands up and down my thighs . . . I was harder than a steel pipe and ready to pull over and screw her on the side of the road.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed in my ear. “Is it too much?”
“Hell, no.” I slammed into sixth gear after we got through the Seven Hills gate. “I like this new you. But you’re killing me right now.”
She exhaled a hot breath in my ear, and I closed my eyes, tightening my jaw. I wasn’t going to last long.
“Madoc, get me to bed,” she begged.
I groaned, speeding into our driveway and breaking to a screeching halt in front of the house. Fallon was out the door before I was, and I rounded the car, grabbing her hand and dragging her toward the house.
Unlocking the door, I pulled her through, and we ran through the foyer and up the stairs.
“Madoc?” I heard Addie’s voice come from around the corner. “Fallon?”
“Hi, Addie!” we both yelled, not even stopping as we charged up the stairs, two at a time.
I picked up a whimpered “Oh, dear” as we reached the second floor and had to laugh. Poor Addie.
Fallon reached my bedroom before me and swung the door open so hard it shook the wall when it hit. I slowed to a walk, crossing the threshold with my eyes glued to hers as she spun around to watch me. She backed up into the room, one timid, light step at a time as if in slow motion, kicking off her shoes and tossing her bag to the floor.
Without taking my gaze off her, I closed and locked the door behind me.
“I want to make a deal,” I challenged, stalking slowly toward her.
Her fiery gaze heated me. “And what’s that?” she asked, whipping her shirt over her head and letting it fall to the ground.
My eye caught the Valknut tattoo on the side of her torso. It wasn’t big, but I’d never gotten the opportunity to study it. I’d have to remember to ask her what it meant.
“If you,” I threatened, “so much as leave my bed without my permission in the next twelve hours, you have to get my name tattooed . . .” I smiled.
She arched a defiant eyebrow.
“On your ass,” I finished.
A smirk played at the corners of her mouth, and I continued to advance on her slowly, drinking in her smooth skin and white lace bra.
“Deal?” I reached at the back of my neck and pulled my T-shirt over my head.
Skimming her fingers inside her shorts, she slid them down over her ass and let them fall to the ground. “I won’t leave without a good-bye. I won’t leave at all, Madoc,” she promised.
“Do we have a deal?” I pressed, my voice more demanding.
“Yes.”
Coming up to stand in front of her, I tensed when her fingers grazed my stomach. She undid my belt, whipping it out of the loops. I toed off my shoes and then reached behind her to unclasp her bra. Peeling it from her body, I let my mouth fall open a little at the sight of her full breasts and nipples, dark and hard.
But when she started to unbutton my pants, I grabbed her hand. “Not yet,” I whispered, snatching her bottom lip between my teeth. She tasted like vanilla and warmth and home. I couldn’t imagine ever being hungry for anything else but her.
She whimpered as I dragged my teeth over her lip, but I let go and slipped my hands inside her panties, pushing them down her legs.
I felt like a kid on the Fourth of July. Fireworks were popping everywhere.
With her naked and me still in my jeans, I left her standing there and went to sit down in the cushioned chair in the corner.
Her eyes went wide, shifting left to right. “Um, what are you doing?”
“Sit on the bed.”
She stood there staring at me for about ten seconds before finally dropping to the navy blue comforter and scooting backward to the middle. Pulling her knees up, she hugged them and teased me with playful eyes. Trying so hard to look innocent.
The hair on the back of my neck spiked. Her hair spilling around her, the curves of her waist, the muscle tone in her thighs . . . Fallon hid a lot under her boyish clothes, and I was the luckiest guy in the world to have been the only one to see her like this.
She lifted the corner of her mouth, challenging me. “What now?”
I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. “When was the last time you were on a board?” I asked.
She blinked and asked with a shaky laugh, “You’re asking me that now?”
She was right. I was killing the mood like a bucket of ice.
But I waited anyway.
“Well,” she said, looking unsure. “I guess it’s been two years. The last time I lived here.”
“Why?”
She shrugged, more like she didn’t want to tell me than she couldn’t. “I don’t know.”
I stood up, taking a few steps toward her. “Did you lose interest in it?”
“No.”
“Then why?” I stopped and crossed my arms over my chest.
Fallon loved skateboarding. She’d put in her earbuds and go off to Iroquois Mendoza Park for hours, alone or with friends, and just get lost.
Licking her lips, she said with a small voice, “I guess at first, I didn’t want to enjoy anything. I didn’t want to smile.”
That sounded like guilt. But why would she feel guilty?
“Were you angry with me?” I asked. “For not coming after you?”
She nodded, her voice still small. “I was.”
“But not now?”
At the time, I’d thought she’d wanted to leave. I never thought about going after her, because I thought I was the one she ran from.
Her eyes met mine. “No, I don’t blame you for anything. We were so young.” She looked away and added as an afterthought. “Too young.”
I guess she was right. At times, I knew what we were doing was dangerous, but I was consumed with her. I didn’t care. And whereas she slowed down and took her time growing up, I charged ahead. I didn’t sleep with as many girls as I bragged about even though the opportunity was there, but I definitely couldn’t say I’d saved myself for her, either.
I moved closer, stepping up to the end of the bed. “Why did you never try to come home?”
“I did.”
CHAPTER 23
FALLON
So Madoc wanted to talk.
This was new.
I couldn’t get off the bed without his permission, and I was totally naked and vulnerable while he conducted his Q&A.
I sighed, knowing I owed him this much. And more. “A few months after I left I snuck back,” I added. “You were having a party, and you had someone with you.”
As much as I’d gotten past hating him for that, the feeling of betrayal could never be forgotten. He had been sitting on the edge of the hot tub with his legs in the water while some girl blew him. He had been leaning back on one hand with his other in her hair, and his head had fallen back. He didn’t see me looking through the patio doors.
His dad and Addie were home but undoubtedly asleep. I thought I’d worked it well, arriving in so late. He’d be in bed. I’d sneak in. We’d talk.
My timing couldn’t have been more wrong. Or more right.
I ran out of the house, away from someone I was t
oo young to love.
Madoc averted his pained eyes. “You shouldn’t have saved yourself for me. I don’t deserve it.”
“I didn’t,” I whispered. “I saved myself for me. Part of it was that I didn’t want anyone else but you, but the truth was I just didn’t want anyone. Even you. I was in over my head. I needed to grow up.”
His body was so still. He’d stopped advancing, and I wanted him to know that none of this mattered anymore. I’d lived with it and had plenty of time to get over everything. He was still adjusting.
I lay back on the bed, watching his eyes come back to me as I rolled onto my stomach and looked over my shoulder at him.
“Fuck the past. Remember?” I told him, keeping my eyes and tone serious. My pose might be to redirect his attention back on me, but I wanted him to know that while I understood his concerns, we were done talking.
His eyes softened, and he walked around the bed, leaning down over me on his hands.
He was so close, and I faltered when I felt a streak shoot from my chest down between my legs.
Please touch me, Madoc.
I gave him a sly smile and hooded my eyes, trying to be sexy. Kicking up my legs, I crossed my ankles and swung my feet back and forth.
He turned his head, running his eyes the whole length of my body in a way that made me feel as if a warm blanket covered every inch his gaze touched. Reaching out, he grazed the skin of my back with his fingertips, and I closed my eyes.
“How’s school?” he asked, and I popped my eyes open again.
“Madoc! For Christ’s sake!” I yelled.
I hated questions, and now was not the time!
He arched a scolding eyebrow at me. “Temper, Fallon,” he warned.
I clenched my teeth, seething.
But then I was shocked out of my anger when he grabbed me by my thigh and hauled me to the edge of the bed, flipping me over onto my back.
“Madoc!”
Parting my legs, he hooked me under my knees and yanked me to meet him at the edge.
My heart pumped like a ten-pound weight pressed against my chest, and a sweat broke out over my neck.
What the hell? Why was he handling me?