Clover and Elsie and I looked on rather anxiously. We were all hoping we might have a cuddly toy too, though I was certainly way too old for such things, and probably Clover was too. The carrier bag was empty. Perhaps Helen thought we were too old for any kind of present.
‘I wanted to give you three something special,’ Helen said. ‘Come into my bedroom with me.’
We jostled with each other eagerly and then stood before her in the library.
‘Elsie, I’d like you to have my silver hairbrush. You’ve got such pretty hair. You brush it every day as carefully as you brushed mine,’ said Helen.
I had to swallow hard to stop myself crying out with envy. Helen was giving her beautiful silver brush to Elsie! She clasped it to her chest and declared she loved Helen forever.
‘Now you, Clover,’ said Helen. She reached for her bottle of perfume. ‘I thought you might like some perfume. But promise – just one squirt each day!’
‘Oh Helen, how absolutely lovely! It’s the most beautiful smell in the world. And every time I spray I shall think of you,’ said Clover, pink in the face with joy.
Helen turned to me.
‘Now Katy. What have I got left to give you?’ she said.
‘You don’t have to give me anything, Helen,’ I said quickly. ‘You can’t give away all your pretty things. And I’m hopeless anyway. I’d lose your hairbrush or spill your perfume, you know what I’m like.’
‘I do know what you’re like. You’re a dear, loving girl who can be ultra careful when she tries. Look how deft you were with my necklace. So I’d like you to have it. Can you take it off for me and put it round your own neck?’
‘Oh Helen! Oh, I can’t take your beautiful seahorse necklace!’
‘Yes, you can. I’d love you to have it,’ said Helen.
‘Then I shall treasure it forever!’ I said.
12
I woke early again on Monday morning and lay happily thinking about the magical weekend with Helen. I reached out for the silver seahorse necklace on my dressing table and let it run through my fingers. I perched the seahorse on my nose, squinting at it, stroking its little curves.
As soon as I sat up I clasped it round my neck and went and peered at it in the mirror. It looked so lovely. I felt a flood of fresh gratitude to Helen. I hoped Dad would take us to visit her really soon. Meanwhile it was the start of the summer holidays and I had six glorious weeks before I had to think of school. I did a little dance around the room as I made plans, whirling fast so that the seahorse bobbed up and down, dancing too.
‘Hey, you’re shaking the floorboards!’ Clover murmured sleepily from under her duvet. ‘It’s too early to get up. Go back to bed.’
‘I don’t want to! It’s the holidays, Clover. I’m making all sorts of plans. Come on, sit up and we’ll make a list together of all the things we want to do.’
‘Number one on my list is get more sleep,’ said Clover, and she wouldn’t budge out of her cocoon.
‘OK, see if I care,’ I said. I decided to make number one on my list a trip to Baxter Park. Only I had to find my confiscated skateboard first.
I went downstairs and started rootling around in the cupboard under the stairs where Izzie sometimes stuffed forbidden things. I sorted through hundreds of welly boots and a toddler trike and a big coil of old washing line and boxes of broken stuff still waiting to be mended, but there was no sign of my skateboard.
‘Who’s in the cupboard?’ Izzie called sharply. She peered inside. ‘Oh Katy, I might have known. What on earth are you doing? Those wellingtons were all in neat pairs and now you’ve mixed them up!’
‘I’m looking for my skateboard,’ I said.
‘We took it away from you. You can’t be trusted with it. You really hurt Elsie,’ said Izzie.
‘I wasn’t aiming at her deliberately. She just got in the way,’ I said.
‘Katy, I’m not getting into an argument at seven o’clock in the morning. You can’t have your skateboard back and that’s that. Just learn to take no for an answer,’ said Izzie.
‘But it’s my skateboard. And I need it. I want to go skateboarding with Ryan in Baxter Park,’ I said.
‘You’re not going skateboarding with any boys. You’re not going skateboarding at all. Now stop this nonsense and put all the things back in the cupboard. Not like that! Neatly. And what have you got round your neck?’
‘It’s Helen’s necklace. She gave it to me, you know she did. You’re not going to steal that too?’
‘Don’t take that tone with me. And stop using ridiculous words like “steal”. I’m pleased for you that Helen was so generous – if a little misguided. You know what you’re like. You’ll either break it or lose it by the end of the holidays. Why don’t you keep it carefully in your treasure box and just wear it on special days?’
‘I want to wear it all the time because it’s so lovely. And today is special, the first day of the holidays, and if only you’ll stop being so mean I want to celebrate by going to Baxter Park. I’m not taking Elsie with me, so you needn’t worry that your precious little darling will get knocked over. I’m not even taking Clover. For once in my life I want to do something by myself. And I’m going to! You can’t stop me. You’re not my mother!’
There was a little silence. Then Izzie said quietly, ‘Sometimes I wish I wasn’t even your stepmother.’
She walked away and went into the kitchen. I had one more scrabble in the assorted rubbish but still couldn’t see my skateboard. I picked up the discarded washing line, momentarily distracted. The rope was frayed at the ends, but it still seemed reasonably strong. I might be able to fashion some sort of swing for my tree house. I tucked it under my pyjama jacket and smuggled it up to our bedroom.
Clover was getting dressed.
‘What are you doing with all that rope?’ she said.
‘You wait and see.’ I sighed dramatically. ‘Perhaps I’ll hang myself with it. Izzie’s being so mean to me. She won’t let me have my skateboard back. She won’t even tell me where it is. She just wants to spoil all my fun. Well, I’m going to ask Dad. No, wait. You ask Dad, Clover. You’re much better at getting round people. Would you do that for me? Make out you’re desperate to learn to skateboard?’
‘So that you can then go off and hang round Ryan Thompson and all those boring boys in your class?’ said Clover. ‘What do you think I am?’
‘I think you’re my lovely, sweet, angelic sister who won’t mind doing me just this one little weeny favour,’ I said, putting my arms round her. ‘And you can come with me and I’ll show you how to skateboard and you’ll probably be a total whizz at it, much, much better than me. Go on.’
‘Then promise you’ll make bracelets with me this afternoon?’
‘Oh Clover, you’ve got armfuls of those silly bracelets already. But all right. If I must. If you get the skateboard.’
So at breakfast Clover nestled up to Dad, telling him how happy she was that the holidays had started. She smiled at him and he squeezed her hand and then sniffed her wrist. Clover had sprayed herself with Helen’s perfume. Dad pretended to be overcome by the smell, while Clover giggled.
‘I’d really like to do heaps of different things this holiday, really make the most of it,’ said Clover. ‘I was thinking I ought to take more exercise. Don’t you think I’m getting a bit chubby, Dad?’
‘I think you’re just right, darling, but I’m all in favour of exercise.’
‘I want to ride my bike more. Maybe go swimming. And try something new too. I know … skateboarding!’
Izzie stopped wiping Phil’s mouth and frowned. But Dad was oblivious.
‘That’s a good idea, so long as you’re very careful, and wear a helmet and knee pads. We’ve got some somewhere.’
‘Yes, we have,’ said Izzie. ‘We bought them for Katy. And then we confiscated them. And it’s perfectly obvious to me that this is a set-up job. Clover’s not the slightest bit interested in skateboarding. She’s just trying to g
et the skateboard for Katy. We’ve already had words about it this morning.’
‘Oh dear,’ said Dad, looking reproachfully at Clover. ‘You little minx! You had me totally fooled. Sorry, girls, I think skateboarding is off limits. But tell you what, I do think swimming is a brilliant idea. I don’t have a clinic this afternoon. I’ll do my best to be home by two and I’ll take you all swimming at the leisure centre.’
Everyone cheered. I was sort of pleased too. I liked swimming and I especially liked it that I was the best at it. I didn’t mind playing with the little kids too, giving Phil piggybacks and showing Dorry and Jonnie how to kick their legs and breathe underwater. But it still rankled that I couldn’t have my skateboard back. It had been my birthday present. It was my property. It was so mean of Izzie not to let me have it back.
I decided I’d go over to Baxter Park anyway and see if Ryan would let me take turns with his skateboard. I wouldn’t ask Izzie. She was bound to say no. I’d just slope off by myself. Well, perhaps I’d go with Clover. I wasn’t even one hundred per cent sure where Baxter Park was, and whether you could walk it or needed to catch a bus. If Clover came too we could figure it out together.
But Clover for once proved obstinate.
‘No way! Dad and Izzie would go berserk. They said you weren’t allowed to skateboard.’
‘They said I couldn’t have my own skateboard back. That’s entirely different. Go on, Clover, come with me. I’ll make bracelets with you this afternoon,’ I wheedled.
‘You’re making them with me anyway, because I asked Dad for you. And besides, we’re going swimming with Dad now,’ said Clover.
‘Oh please, Clover. We can just slip away. Izzie might not even notice. She’ll think we’re playing in the garden.’
‘Izzie’s not daft. She will know and then when we come back we’ll be in big trouble. We might not be allowed to go swimming. We might not be allowed to do anything for the rest of the holidays,’ said Clover.
I knew she could be right. But I was now in such a mood that I didn’t care.
‘OK, I’ll go by myself,’ I said.
It was easy enough to slip out of the front door while Izzie was doling out Play-Doh for the littlies to model. I did go and call on Cecy though, to see if she fancied coming. She quite liked Ryan, and there would be lots of his mates there too.
But Cecy was all dressed up when she came to the front door, with her hair done in an extremely fancy style.
‘Sorry, Katy, I can’t come. We’re going round my auntie’s and we’re trying out this new hairstyle for when I’m her bridesmaid in September. Do you like it?’ Cecy asked.
I thought it made her look even sillier than Eva Jenkins but I knew it wouldn’t be tactful to tell her this. I made some lame complimentary remark and then trudged off down the road. I was starting to wonder if it was a good idea to go to Baxter Park after all. I might have had a much better time playing with the kids at home. I could just go straight back. Izzie would never know I’d gone. But then I’d look such a fool in front of Clover. I needed her to stay thinking I was her big bold sister instead of a silly little wuss who couldn’t even go to a park by herself.
I walked on determinedly, swinging my arms to try to make myself feel good. When I was a little kid I loved doing ‘soldier’ walking, muttering left, right, left, right as I marched. But when I got to the shop on the corner I saw what an idiot I looked, like a comedian deliberately doing a silly walk. I tried doing a sexy model walk instead, but that was even worse – and two horrible scruffy little boys yelled ‘Wigglebum!’ at me. I tried to walk normally, but I seemed to have forgotten how.
I concentrated hard on making up an imaginary game inside my head. I pretended I was a famous celebrity and I was being filmed for a documentary, and people were asking me all sorts of questions about my lifestyle. That was fun for five minutes but even that game got tiresome. So I resorted to my oldest comfort game of all – pretending my mum was walking along by my side, talking to me.
She took hold of my hand, her fingers laced with mine, swinging our arms, and told me that she thought skateboarding was fun, a totally excellent thing for a girl to want to do, and that she’d never ever ever take my skateboard away from me. In fact, she’d beg me to let her have a go too. No, she’d get her own skateboard and then we’d have our own private skateboard championship.
I miss you, Mum, I told her.
I miss you too, my Katy, she said.
Do you know the way to Baxter Park, Mum?
Haven’t a clue – but don’t worry. We’ll just keep walking and I’m sure we’ll get there soon.
So that meant neither of us had a clue. I asked several people, but they either didn’t know or said we ought to take a bus; and that was no use, because we didn’t have any money.
We walked all the way through the town, marching straight past all the shops.
I’m so glad you’re you and not Izzie, Mum. She’s so boring when we go into town. She wants to drag me round all these awful clothes shops.
Well, she’s a drag, full stop, said Mum. Still, we should be grateful to her, I suppose. She’s looking after you and my little Clover. Though I wish she wouldn’t keep telling you off. I keep suggesting she should lighten up, but she won’t take any notice.
That’s because she can’t hear you, Mum. No one else can, not even Clover.
Not even Alistair? said Mum, sounding disappointed.
Just me, I repeated firmly.
Then you’re my most special girl, said Mum.
I made her say it a lot. I even hummed it to a little tune I made up. But I still didn’t feel quite comforted enough. I was getting tired now and I wasn’t even sure how to find my way back into town, let alone all the way home.
I found I was clinging to the little seahorse round my neck, as if it were a tiny talisman.
Which way, which way, which way? Mum and I chanted.
I was so busy talking to her that I started crossing a road without realizing and a car screeched to a halt, almost hitting us. I jerked in terror. I must have given a sharp tug to my necklace because the seahorse suddenly swung free, the broken chain slithering from my neck.
‘Oh no! Oh no, no, no!’ I exclaimed.
‘Oh yes, you idiot girl! Watch where you’re going or you’ll get yourself killed!’ the driver yelled.
I staggered to the other side, clutching the broken necklace tight in my hand. I couldn’t see properly because my eyes were all blurry with tears. Mum wasn’t with me any more. I didn’t have the energy to spirit her back. I couldn’t be bothered to look for Baxter Park now. I just wanted to walk backwards ten minutes in time so that my necklace would still be intact.
The seahorse wasn’t broken. It was just the delicate links on the chain. I could save up my pocket money and get a new chain. But I probably wouldn’t be able to find an exact replica. And it wouldn’t be Helen’s chain any more. I’d spoilt it, just as Izzie had predicted.
It took forever finding my way back again, though I wasn’t in any hurry now. I put the broken necklace in my pocket. It was the lightest thing and yet it seemed to weigh me down. I kept thinking of Helen’s sweet expression when she gave it to me. It kept making me cry all over again.
But I scrubbed at my eyes and tried to look cool when I got home. I let myself in as quietly as possible with my key. Clover came creeping up the hall to meet me.
‘Did she miss me?’ I hissed.
Clover nodded glumly. ‘Almost straight away. I fibbed for a bit, said you’d gone to play with Cecy, but you know how uncanny Izzie is. She knew straight away I was talking rubbish. She guessed you’d gone to Baxter Park. I’m so sorry, Katy.’
‘Oh well. Thanks for trying anyway,’ I muttered.
‘Was it worth it? Was Ryan there? Did he let you use his skateboard? Did you have a great time?’ asked Clover.
I couldn’t bear to lose face with Clover. It would sound so lame to admit that I hadn’t been able to find it.
‘Yeah, truly great,’ I said. ‘It was super cool to be on a skateboard again.’
‘And you could still do it OK? You didn’t fall off?’
‘Of course I didn’t. I was way better than all the boys,’ I started, but decided to amend this. Some skateboarding boys were much older than me and able to fling themselves off ramps and turn somersaults in the air and get back on their skateboards. Clover might be gullible, but she’d never swallow that. ‘At least, better than Ryan and the other boys in my class,’ I added.
Then Izzie came out of the kitchen into the hall, wearing her boot face.
‘So you’ve decided to come home, Katy,’ she said. ‘I gather you went to Baxter Park after all, even though I said you weren’t allowed.’
I decided I wasn’t going to hang my head and beg her forgiveness. I hadn’t done anything really wrong, for goodness’ sake. I’d just tried to join some friends in the park. It wasn’t the most heinous crime of the century.
‘Yes, it was great. Thanks for asking,’ I said, trying to sound airy and cool, though I sounded like Dorry in a grumpy mood.
‘Well, it’s just as well you enjoyed yourself, because you won’t be going on any other little jaunts for a long, long time. You are grounded for a whole month,’ said Izzie. ‘And don’t think you’re going swimming this afternoon. You can stay at home in disgrace by yourself.’
‘Dad will let me come,’ I said.
‘I very much doubt it. He was very angry when I phoned him at the surgery and told him,’ said Izzie.
‘Oh, trust you to tell tales on me!’
‘What am I supposed to do? I was worried sick. You didn’t have a helmet or knee pads or anything with you. You could have had a serious accident.’
‘But I didn’t, did I?’ I said. ‘So sorry to disappoint you.’ I started stamping my way upstairs.
‘Katy? Where’s Helen’s necklace? Weren’t you wearing it this morning? Oh, don’t say you’ve lost it already!’ Izzie’s tone was sharp.
‘No, I haven’t lost it, see,’ I said, putting my hand in my pocket and bringing it out, careful to keep the broken ends of chain in my palm. ‘I was just putting it away for safekeeping.’