Chapter Twelve
The next weeks passed for Nora somehow both quickly and slowly. It was quick because time passed, and she hadn’t accomplished anything, but slow because she couldn’t bring herself to do anything. Sometimes it seemed that the hours crawled by. Maddie and Sawyer tried to convince Nora to visit the visual art enclave again or the music enclave, since she’d seemed to enjoy both. But Nora didn’t feel up to it, so she made excuses. She spent her days lying in her tent, cuddling Catling, or going for aimless walks in the woods and fields that surrounded Helicon. Once and a while, she went to see Mack’s chimeras, which she thought would put her in a good mood. Sometimes, they did. Temporarily, anyway. But the sadness always descended again, like a dark cloud.
Nora didn’t know how to explain what was wrong, because it felt like everything was wrong. She’d spent her whole life dreaming of Helicon. Now she was here. But getting here had ruined her relationship with Owen.
No. That wasn’t it. Her relationship with Owen was a sham. He had never cared about her the way she thought he had. She’d thought he was a good person. She’d relied on him and loved him. When they’d been children, he’d filled the roles of her parent, her brother, and her friend. When they’d grown older, she’d become romantically attached to him. Losing Owen was like losing her entire history. Losing Owen made her feel empty and hollow. She loved him.
But she also was so angry at him that it hurt. He’d betrayed her by sleeping with that fairy. And he’d manipulated her the entire time they’d been together. She’d been his puppet for eleven years, and she’d never even known. She wanted to strangle him. She wanted him to disappear from the face of the earth.
But she still found herself missing him, or thinking of things they used to do together and feeling a deep chasm of loss.
Sawyer said she should try to distract herself. He said the pain would be there later if she needed to keep feeling it. He said she needed to try to create again.
Nora couldn’t. She couldn’t get through to him how much there was nothing inside her. She didn’t feel inspired. She felt like a shell of a girl. It was all she could handle to get up in the morning and get moving. Sometimes, she didn’t even do that.
Because of the strange way time was passing, Nora was both surprised to discover it was already time for the Summer Solstice and also confused that it had taken so long. The rest of Helicon was buzzing with preparations for the festival, but Nora ignored them. No matter what Maddie and Sawyer did to try to get her excited about it, she couldn’t muster the emotion. In fact, she had no desire to even attend the Solstice celebration.
One morning at breakfast, Doreen came by. She wanted to know if Maddie would be available to watch the babies and toddlers during the Solstice.
Maddie rolled her eyes and was beginning to deliver a cutting remark, when Nora spoke up.
“I’ll do it,” said Nora. She didn’t have any desire to participate in a celebration. Watching kids seemed fun.
“You will?” said Doreen. “Oh, well, that’s wonderful. The enclave will be so pleased. Maybe you can go by sometime today to see if they have any special instructions for you.”
“Sure,” said Nora. “I’ll go after breakfast.”
“Nora is such a treasure,” said Doreen. “Look how willingly she’s giving up her Solstice. Maddie, you should take note of that.”
Ugh. Doreen was always finding ways to insult Maddie. “No,” said Nora. “It’s not like that, really. I’m actually just not interested in the Solstice, and—”
Doreen laughed. “Not interested in the Solstice? Don’t be silly, Nora. You don’t have to be so modest. You’re a sweet girl, and I think you’re an excellent example for my Maddie. She—”
“I’ll help her out,” said Maddie, shooting daggers at her mother with her gaze.
“Maddie, you don’t have to do that,” said Nora.
“Oh, what the heck,” said Sawyer. “I’ll help too.”
“You three are wonderful!” exclaimed Doreen.
Nora tried to convince her friends it wasn’t necessary that they give up their Solstice too. Maddie was still fuming over her mother. Sawyer said he actually thought it was fun. The kids were fun to play with, and he thought they’d enjoy themselves playing just as much as they would dancing around the fire pit.
After breakfast, they trooped over to the babies and toddlers enclave as Doreen had suggested. The enclave looked a good bit like other enclaves from the outskirts. There were tents and a fire pit. However, the enclave also jutted up against the kiddie playground, which housed the epic castle/tree house that Maddie had once described to her. It sprawled over an area the size of a football field, connecting at least five trees. There were turrets and rope bridges. There were slides of various lengths and curvature. There were swings dangling from tree branches. It was the most wonderful playground that Nora had ever seen.
Inside the enclave, one or two little kids trotted around the fire pit. A grown woman was sitting and watching them while sewing something by hand. She held it in her lap. When she saw them approach, she said, “Is there something I can do to help the three of you?”
“We’re here because Doreen Salt told us you were looking for volunteers to watch children during the Solstice,” said Nora.
“And you’re volunteering?” said the woman.
Nora nodded.
“That’s great.” The woman stood up. “Is that Nora Sparrow all grown up?” She cupped Nora’s chin with one hand.
“Um, yeah, I’m Nora.”
“I used to hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep every night,” said the woman. “You wouldn’t remember that, I don’t suppose, though. I’m Jolie.”
“You did?” Nora smiled, feeling an odd rush of emotion. Someone who knew her when she was a baby? Someone who remembered her childhood who wasn’t Owen? That seemed amazing.
“I sure did,” said Jolie. She gestured at the benches around the fire pit. “Sit down, all three of you.” They did. “Of course, I remember Sawyer as well. And I didn’t care for Maddie as a baby, but I remember how you helped us out on Valentine’s Day, so I couldn’t be more delighted.”
Nora fidgeted. She wanted to ask questions, but she wasn’t sure quite how to put them. “What was I like as a baby?”
Jolie got a dreamy look in her eyes. “Oh, I remember what a sweet little thing you were. You never cried. You’d just spend all your time staring around with those big eyes of yours. And you had the most adorable tuft of orangey-red hair on your head.”
Nora fiddled with her hair, embarrassed. She hadn’t realized how much she craved this.
“Then, of course, when Owen arrived here, he snatched you up immediately,” said Jolie.
Nora’s happiness dropped off. Owen. He was part of everything, wasn’t he? She stared at the ground.
“So,” said Sawyer, sitting up straight, “anything particular we’ll need to do with the kids while we’re here?”
“Oh, the feeding schedule is posted,” said Jolie. “And the bigger ones will watch themselves, although they wouldn’t stop talking about the hide and go seek game you and Maddie played with them last time. I’m sure they’d love to do that again.”
“Great,” said Maddie. She still looked sullen.
“It really was amazing,” said Jolie. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Owen latched onto you, Nora, and the two of you went everywhere together. I know that some of the muses think he’s behind those holes in Helicon, but I don’t believe it. I always thought he was a sad little boy, not dangerous or anything like that. He didn’t have anyone, you know, and of course Phoebe wasn’t too keen on him from the beginning.”
What? But Phoebe had always defended Owen. “What do you mean?” Nora asked.
“Well,” said Jolie, “whatever happened between Phoebe and Dionysus happened a long time ago, but I don’t think she was too happy to see Dionysus having a child with someone else. Phoebe’s never had any children of her o
wn, you know.”
“There was something between Phoebe and Dionysus?” said Sawyer, leaning forward.
“They were quite an item some time ago,” said Jolie. “Sent Helicon into a tizzy at the time. Muses and gods mixing. There were all these council meeting about mixed blood and the taint the gods would have on our creativity and all kinds of other worries. But then they had a falling out, and Dionysus disappeared for quite some time. I don’t think Phoebe wanted to see him anymore.”
That was odd. So Phoebe had dated Dionysus? Nora thought back to the conversation she’d heard at May Day between the two of them. It explained a good bit about the way they interacted, didn’t it?
Jolie was still talking. “Of course, I thought it was a bit petty of Phoebe to hold a grudge against Dionysus’ son, who was just an innocent child. And she didn’t seem very fond of you either, Nora. I was never sure if that was because Owen had taken such a shine to you or not. Well, who knows. Phoebe never seemed fond of children at all, I don’t suppose.”
Nora tried to digest this. Phoebe had always been so kind to her. Could Phoebe dislike her for some reason? Was it possible that Phoebe didn’t like Owen either? Why had she defended Owen at all those council meetings, then?
Her wrist beeped at her.
Nora was confused for a second, then she leapt to her feet. “The Catling tracker! She’s on the move. A portal might have opened.”
Sawyer and Maddie stood up too.
“We’ve got to go,” said Nora to Jolie. “Thanks for chatting with us.”
“Oh, come and see me anytime,” said Jolie, smiling.
Maddie crowded close to look at the tracker. “Where’s Catling heading?”