Ingrid looked away as she spoke, her voice now muffled, distant, ‘I’ll give you some space.’ Then she stared at him, eyes glazed, ‘If you want to talk, as a friend, I’ll be around.’
In a series of rapid movements she disappeared. Perhaps he had overdone it.
***
Ingrid ran back to her cabin, shut the door and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Tears started to build up in her eyes. She did not want him to get the better of her. Unfortunately, he had managed to weaken her defences. She took an enormous gulp before the dam in her throat fell apart. She had never cried so hard. The tears streamed down her face, her sobbing bordering on a tantrum as she slammed her hands on the floor and groaned. She needed some time away from him. It was Steven that had made her re-evaluate her existence from the moment she had bitten him.
Everything he said forced her to reconsider their need to kill. He made her think about life in a different way. He made her want to share his space, to join his world. A world where there was black and white and less grey. There was something about him that drew her in. She wanted him so badly to like her. The chance of that happening looked slim. The resulting obsession with Steven was impossible to contain. No-one had ever had this effect on her before.
The hours she had waited, the months of hope, only to find that after all of her efforts she was too late. He had fallen in love with someone else. She wanted to scream. It was not fair. She forced herself to calm down and took a few deep breaths. Her eyes fixed on the loose nail on the floor. She clenched her fist and rammed it down as she bit her lip.
She was not a quitter. She would have him. Even if it was the last thing she ever did.
***
Ingrid disturbed Steven. He could not understand why she was still trying it on. Sure, there had been some attraction when he first met her. But, then… well, it wasn’t worth reliving what had happened. There was no way he was going to be with someone like her. Perhaps she felt responsible – she did find him after all. Either way, it was not her fault he was one of them. If she had fallen for him, he felt sorry for her. It was not the first time he’d failed to reciprocate someone else’s affections. The truth was he didn’t feel bad rejecting her. She looked tough enough to cope.
There was no denying her beauty. It was just a shame she was so cold-hearted. For Ingrid, human beings were takeaway, dispensable. Even so, she had a point. Humans did kill all the time. Nevertheless, he could not see how she could view human death so naturally. He had so many unanswered questions. The sound of footsteps compelled him to turn around. If it was Ingrid, maybe he would apologise. There turned out to be no need for sympathy. It was only Eilif.
‘Steven, I was hoping to catch up with you. Do you mind if we talk?’
‘No, just don’t ramble on about how great my future is going to be, okay,’ Steven replied.
Eilif chuckled, ‘Fair enough. All I wanted was to let you know how sorry I am for how things turned out. It must be tough right now. I won’t go on about your great future, seeing as you’ve told me not to.’
‘Thanks for saying sorry, but I don’t think I can forgive you. I’m sure you understand,’ Steven snapped.
‘Sure. In time, maybe,’ Eilif said, with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
Steven kept silent. He doubted he’d ever forgive him.
‘Do you know about the Spanish explorer, Hernán Cortés?’ Eilif asked, as he leant against the railing and looked out at the water.
‘Not really.’
‘He led the Spanish to conquer Mexico, and in turn destroyed the Aztec civilisation. Some say he thought it was the humane thing to do – the Aztecs performed human sacrifice. Yet, the Aztecs firmly believed that if they did not carry out these sacrifices, the Gods would have punished them.’
Steven listened, wondering what his point was.
‘Humanity has always been faced with the question of choice – someone’s death can always be justified in the name of God, war or survival. In our case, we need to kill to survive. It’s Darwin’s theory of evolution – the survival of the fittest. In order to survive, a species finds a way to evolve to sustain its population.’
‘I understand the theory of evolution,’ Steven said, unimpressed.
‘You realise we might now be the fittest race in the history of mankind? Think about it. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it. Just please, try and think of us as your family not foe,’ Eilif pleaded, before he turned and walked away.
It was a lot to take in.
Steven closed his eyes and turned his thoughts to Caitlin. He was desperate to talk to her. She always knew the right thing to say, had the best way for him to deal with any situation. He missed her puzzling over whimsical issues. Now, his problem was huge. If only it was something simple. He envisaged her confused face, just before she had slammed the door. It hurt to have been treated like a stranger. He let out a groan and shook his head. His legs started to move. They needed a refuge. At the back of the ship, he focused on the bubbles left in its wake. There was no way he would put his past behind him and forget everyone he ever loved and everything he stood for. They did not know him at all.
Chapter 24
Memories
The silver bracelet glistened in the moonlight as Emily twisted her hand from one direction to the other. Its intricate links were oval in shape and it had a single heart shaped charm attached to it. It was simple, yet irreplaceable. It had been given to Emily by Steven’s father, Paul, a week after they first met. She had vowed to cherish it forever and had kept her promise. It remained on her wrist, a cruel memory.
The resemblance between Steven and Paul was uncanny. Even though Steven had her eyes and dark hair, the rest was all Paul. Paul’s height, build, expressions – he was all Paul. Steven had reminded her of the life she missed, a life with love. There was nothing she wanted more than to live out her life as a wife, a mother, a normal human being. Determined to torment herself further, she played back the last conversation with Paul in her mind.
*
‘I’ve been hiding something from you. I don’t know how to tell you the truth,’ Emily confessed, as she fidgeted with her bracelet. It was a bad habit she could not resist.
‘There is nothing you can’t tell me. You know I love you no matter what,’ Paul replied. The warm, irresistible smile he gave her nearly melted her resolve.
‘Do you want to know where I go at night?’ Her hands started to shake. ‘I don’t want to tell you, but…’
‘What’s going on?’ Paul whispered, as he sat next to her and gently placed his hands on hers. His grip tightened, as though he was trying to help them keep still.
She kept her head low and barely got out the words, ‘I don’t think I can stay here anymore.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Paul froze, as his hands automatically let hers go.
‘I can’t live here anymore. I don’t belong here.’
‘Of course you belong here, what are you saying?’
Eyes to the floor, she continued, adamant, ‘I don’t love you and I can’t look after Steven. Motherhood is not what I thought it would be.’ She did not dare look at him but she could tell he was shocked. His frame had gone rigid. He sat like a stone.
‘Are you serious? Please don’t say things to break us.’
Emily fought hard to keep her emotions under check. She got up and left Paul to mull it over. She needed to see her baby again. She did not have a lot of time. Once in her son’s room, she edged over to the side of his cot. Steven breathed loudly, deep in sleep. Even though she was biased, she knew he was gorgeous – a perfect baby boy. There was nothing she would not do to protect him.
As she tiptoed out quietly, she turned to face Paul. He still sat on the bed, his hands now over his head. Without a hint of emotion, she coolly said, ‘I’m leaving now. I have a taxi waiting. Please look after him for me and tell him I was just protecting him.’
Paul looked up; his eyes glazed, and opened his mouth. But, he didn’t or could
n’t say anything. His head slumped back into his hands. She had broken him.
‘I’m sorry,’ Emily whispered.
*
When she opened the door and left, her life ended. The only two people she cared about were gone. Emily recalled the journey home. A million times, she had nearly turned back. It was the most excruciating trip of her life.
Back then, her decision was clear. It was for the best to leave them both to lead a normal life without complications. She had no doubt that Steven would be well looked after by Paul, he would be a great father. All she needed was for Steven to remain normal. That was her bad luck. He wasn’t. It had all been for nothing. With the benefit of hindsight it was easy to see – she should have taken her son with her. Now, her worst nightmare had come true. Steven was destined to become one of them. Even though she looked forward to meeting him, she was no fool. She knew it would come at a price.
***
Anna walked at a brisk pace down the dimly lit corridor. Confronting Emily was not something she enjoyed doing, but she had been left with no choice. If Emily did not take the time to talk to her, then she had to go and find her. She had to find out what Emily was planning to do. She had helped her to cover up for Steven, but she had not dealt with the problem. She had left Steven behind. It was crazy. Steven could not stay behind. Emily had to go to get him. The question was how? Anna suspected she would have to help Emily again. It was not something she was looking forward to.
Anna’s hand made a fist and hang in the air for a couple of seconds, before she knocked on the door. Emily was one of the few to insist on a real door. Even though it was not locked, she would give her sister the courtesy of waiting. After minutes passed, she tried again without getting a reply. She knew Emily was there. She could sense her presence. Left with no choice, she took the handle and pushed it down to open the door. Her patience had run out.
‘Emily, I know you’re here, I need to speak to you.’ Almost immediately, she felt deep sorrow ease through her. ‘Emily, stop that and come out to talk.’ Anna hated the fact she could feel Emily’s emotions. Since they had evolved, a psychic link kept each of them in tune with the other.
It was not the best gift in the world.
Anna only felt pain and sadness when Emily was hurting. It went against her instinct, Anna being a natural optimist. As luck would have it her twin sister, Emily, was the opposite – an eternal pessimist.
Anna saw Emily peek out from behind the curtain, a vacant expression on her face. She glanced briefly at Anna, then turned away again and faced the opening on the wall, her window to the outside world.
‘I don’t know exactly what you’re thinking, but you need to talk about it,’ Anna said. She needed to engage her in conversation. ‘You are making me feel lousy – can you snap out of it please? What’s going on?’
Emily walked towards the chair and sat down. Hands limp on her lap, she looked up, ‘Look, what do you want me to say? I’m sorry, I can’t help it.’
‘Have you decided what to do about Steven?’ Anna asked. She did not want to beat about the bush.
With a huge sigh, Emily replied, ‘No, I haven’t decided what to do about Steven. I know I have to explain what we are. I’m just scared. Lying to him or even helping him to become one of us is not something I want to do.’
‘I know you don’t want to, but you have to,’ Anna said, exasperated. ‘If you don’t tell him, he won’t understand the change when it happens. What if his instinct kicks in and he kills someone. You know that would be a disaster. He wouldn’t know how to cover it up.’
Emily ran her hands through her hair, her expression wild. ‘You’re right, I know, but how do we tell him? It’s not that easy to explain is it? Hey, Steven, you’ll never guess what. I’m your mother. Yeah, that’s right, your mother. I know I’m a bit young, but… oh, by the way, you’re going to become a killer soon. How? Oh, don’t worry about it you just need some blood. I’m sorry, yes, that’s human blood.’
Anna scowled at her. ‘You are so annoying sometimes. There’s no need to be sarcastic. I’m just trying to help you. That’s all I ever seem to do.’
‘No-one asked you to be my guardian. I can look after myself.’
‘Really? Is that why you managed to get pregnant with a human?’ Anna could not help sulking. Emily was exasperating.
‘Oh come on, Anna, give up the act. I made a mistake. Not everyone is designed to accept our way of living. I was never destined to lead this life. I wanted freedom, a normal life.’
Anna could not believe Emily was crying. She could not remember the last time she had seen Emily cry. Maybe, she could ease up a bit. Anna made her way over and gave Emily a hug. In a repentant voice, she cooed, ‘I’m sorry, I never realised for all those years how trapped you felt. If I’d known before you left, I might have been able to help you. Look, let’s just forget mistakes made in the past. We’ll figure something out, okay, calm down.’
Emily stopped crying, her sobs now more of a whimper. ‘I just couldn’t resist them Anna, I was too weak. I know I have to stay here where I can’t do any harm. I’m evil. I would never have made a good mother.’
‘You are not evil. We are led by instinct, that’s all. Anyway, that doesn’t solve the problem now. Why didn’t you tell Steven the truth when you had the chance?’ Anna tried to maintain a soothing tone.
‘I couldn’t face him. I didn’t want to take him away from his life. I couldn’t… how do you prepare someone for this way of life? We only created this place so that we could live normal lives, without becoming fugitives. I wish there was another way.’
‘No-one has thought of a better way. There are only so many suicides we can make up, before they begin to look suspicious.’
‘True, but don’t you feel like sometimes,’ Emily sniffled, ‘we don’t actually have control anymore? Don’t you sense the unease? There is a growing restlessness amongst our kind. Don’t you realise that there are others like me that do not want to hide? The new generation do not understand the human world – they think they can just go there and take what they need. They think… they think they can integrate.’
‘I know what you’re saying,’ Anna paused, then stood up and paced as she talked, ‘we can’t teach them about persecution. But, we have to remain strong. If our resolve crumbles, then this place will fall regardless of how tight we keep security. You never know, Steven could be the missing link. He might be the one who reinforces the need to lead separate lives. Maybe, destiny that had a hand in his birth. He understands the human world. Surely, he’ll realise in time that living out there is futile for us.’
‘Maybe, but you know as well as I do that sooner or later, we will need to find another place to live. We can’t all carry on living together – there’s no room for a start! The time will come when someone will have to lead and take up a new location.’
‘That’s for the council to decide. You should bring it up again.’
‘You know they don’t listen to me. No-one trusts me.’
Anna sat next to Emily again. ‘There’s a reason for that, but what you did happened a long time ago. What you have to say will be heard when everything blows over. Now we have to come up with a plan. Let me think about it. We’ll get Steven home. Here is where he belongs. Maybe Ian could help?’
Emily grimaced. ‘The last person I need rubbing my nose in my mistakes is my snotty younger brother.’
Anna laughed, more at ease she got up again. ‘He’s not that bad you know. I’ve got to go. Do me a favour? Please do something to keep busy.’ Anna smiled as she took her leave. She would have to find a solution to Emily’s problem – again.
Chapter 25
The Past
Emily struggled to get to sleep. The conversation with Anna had ripped open old wounds and made the all too real nightmare return. As she tossed and turned in bed, she relived the past and remembered the day her life changed.
*
‘I hate you. LEAVE ME ALONE.’
Emily ran at full pelt, intending to get as far away from Anna as possible. Anna did not understand her, she never did. Just because they were twins, everyone expected them to be the same, but they were like chalk and cheese. Once alone, Emily mulled over her limited options. As soon as the war was over, she would move away from her family to start a new life of her own. She would stay in America by herself; after all it was the land of dreams. Now that talkies were all the rage she was sure there would be plenty of work in Hollywood. Not that she wanted to be an actress. Her ambition was to write film scripts and work alongside the likes of Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable. What a dream that would be! She was sure she would be able to do the job just as well as any man – if she was allowed!
All that running had made her even hotter than usual. She flopped on the ground and flapped her dress up and down, to create a cool breeze. It was always so hot in Los Alamos. Dry, scorching – unbearable. All she longed for was the sea breeze on her face. She missed her hometown of Southampton.
As she threw stones into the stream, she lost track of time and only realised it was getting late when she looked up at the sky. The sun had gone. Another day wasted. A faint sound made her flinch. As it grew louder and more urgent she got up and looked around. She was sure she could hear her mother calling her name.
Being a typical laid-back teenager, she dragged her feet as she made her way back. The sound coming from the distance should have warned her, but she was too preoccupied with thoughts of a better life. As she approached, she could ignore the cacophony no longer. It was only then that she noticed black swooping animals flying over her head in a densely packed cloud formation. They snapped at the air, erratic, out of control. Their distinctive wing span gave them away. Bats – lots of them.
‘Emily, hurry,’ her mother shrieked.
Emily ran towards her mother, as panic set in. Just when she was within reaching distance a few bats swooped towards her and caused her to trip up. She felt herself faint, as something bit into her wrist. When she started to rouse, she could hear her mother calling her name, over and over.