All she had now was the body of a twenty-year-old with no-one to love. Yet, the old sensations she was convinced were long gone appeared to have been dormant, just waiting for the right time to reawaken. Perhaps she was foolish to give up on love so easily. She could still find a complement.
She shook her head and frowned as she considered Steven. She stroked the leaf of her baby fern and wondered if Steven could be a fair exchange for Ian. She would not say no.
Chapter 35
Hunter Gatherer
Steven had never laboured so hard in his life. A couple of hours had gone by and all they had to show for their efforts were two wheelbarrows full of produce. He had not anticipated how hard the job would be, his back was already in agony and it felt like he had aged a couple of years.
Jensen wiped his brow and took a swig out of an army style water bottle, then handed it over to Steven.
‘Thanks, are we done yet?’
‘Yeah, I think we can call it a day.’
Steven followed Jensen with his wheelbarrow. At the end of the narrow path they came upon a prep area, where people waited for the goods. Eventually, they handed over the produce to some other men. There was not a single smile in sight. They nodded at Jensen, ignored Steven.
As they walked away, Jensen said, ‘Thanks for helping out.’
‘I guess it’s what everyone is expected to do here.’
‘Well yes, but it’s still nice to be grateful,’ Jensen said.
‘I appreciate it. I still sense, from the lack of conversation from the men back there, I’m not really welcome.’
‘Give it time,’ Jensen called out, as he started to run, ‘let’s go – it’s time for a bath, you’ve earned it!’
‘Is this mixed bathing again?’ Steven howled, as he sped up.
‘You’ll get used to that too. But, the women here tend to bathe when the men are at work. They are usually involved with the prep and cooking, whilst we have our turn.’
‘So that’s why it was deserted when I went the other day – everyone was eating.’
‘Exactly. Last one there’s a loser.’
The sounds of splashing and chatter stopped, as they approached the bathing area. There were several men in the water and some drying themselves outside. At least, there were no women in sight which was one consolation. Jensen stripped down and ran up to the water’s edge to dive in. Steven was self-conscious for a brief moment as he mulled over the fact that a shower for one back at home was so much more private. Here he was exposed. He put it to the back of his mind and started to undress. He had to.
Jensen popped his head out of the water momentarily, and called out, ‘Get a move on.’
Steven slipped out of his shorts and t-shirt. He kept his underpants on and made a run for it, before he dived in. The lukewarm water provided him with instant relief for the second time. It had to be the best bath in the world. He swam across to the waterfall and let the water splash on his head – it felt like getting a head massage. He remembered Caitlin was very good at those.
After a few minutes, he made his way towards the lake on the other side and started racing in a perfect front crawl. It felt good to swim again. When he stopped, he heard a distant voice coming after him.
‘Hey, don’t thrash too loud or you’ll rally up the piranhas,’ Jensen hollered.
‘Piranhas, here?’ Steven exclaimed, swimming towards the water’s edge.
‘Joke, man, just a joke. We keep them out. The look on your face was priceless.’
‘Funny.’ Jensen was turning out to be a bit of a joker.
‘We better get going. It’s time to fill up with fuel again.’
‘Absolutely, race you back.’
Steven swam back in a powerful stroke. He passed Jensen with ease and then got out of the water and dressed, as Jensen made it out.
When Jensen came up alongside, he nodded in approval. ‘Nifty swimming, that’s a useful skill.’
‘What for? To out swim the piranhas and caiman?’
‘You guessed it. No, seriously, we need good swimmers to go and help with fishing duties. I’ll put a mention in so that you get reassigned. It might be more up your street.’
‘I didn’t mind digging veg.’
‘Sure, but it’s good to try out new things.’
‘Since when are you my guardian?’
Jensen frowned, confused, ‘You tell me.’
‘Thanks for looking out for me. I’m just jesting with you, English humour. Fishing, I might just give it a go,’ he laughed aloud. He was definitely intrigued by the idea of exploring the Amazon River.
***
The main catering hall was always full at mealtimes, a constant hive of activity. It was the social hub; the focus of all gossip, flirtation and melodrama. Emily sipped her coffee and contemplated the mood. Everything seemed as it was. On the surface, it appeared that life had moved on since Steven arrived. She was not sure it was truly the case. She suspected many were biding their time, waiting for when Steven changed, to see what would happen.
Steven had adapted to his new lifestyle. Remarkably, he fitted in. He got on with it and had earned a lot of people’s respect by working hard on all the tasks they threw at him.
This meant a lot to Emily. It was nice to know her son was not a lazy, arrogant man, like many of the human men she had met. In truth, it had not surprised her at all – his father, Paul, had always been the perfect gentleman. The only one who had not got her act together was her. She had failed to get to know her son. She had tried but it was awkward. Today, she would try again.
She watched the entrance and waited. If she was lucky she would get the chance to talk to him. She had not given up yet.
In answer to her thoughts she saw Steven walk through the doors. Jensen was at his side again, they were obviously close. She wondered if she would ever develop the same friendship with her son. Steven looked at ease as he bantered with Jensen. She had chosen the right tour guide.
Out of interest, she turned towards Ingrid, to see if she was also following Steven. Ingrid was staring right at him. Emily wondered how many other girls lay in the wings, waiting for his change. He was open season for anyone not linked to the Roberts family. Honestly, she felt sorry for him. A woman’s obsession could be deadly.
As much as she wanted to talk to him, she was apprehensive. She already fell short of ideal mother material. Regardless, it was important for her to show everyone he was a part of her life now. She downed the rest of her coffee and made her way towards them. It could have looked like she was on her way out.
‘Jensen, nice to see you,’ she said, her tone polite. ‘Steven, it’s good to see you settled in.’
Steven seemed disinterested. He shrugged and glanced over her shoulder as he spoke, ‘It’s fine. Jensen has been helping me out.’
It was just what she needed. She knew she had not done much to help his integration. It was hard to get a reminder. In a futile attempt at conversation, she continued, ‘I hear you’re helping to teach echolocation now since you are so advanced. Good for you, it’s also one of my strengths.’
Another shrug, before the reply, ‘I guess so.’
He really did not want to talk to her.
In order to salvage her integrity she made a move. ‘Enjoy your meal. Come and see me sometime. We still have a lot to talk about.’ She gave a half-smile and walked away. She tried to keep her head high. Even though she felt like a complete failure, she would not drop her guard.
***
Steven could not believe Emily was his mother. She looked more like a sister. He had no idea what she would want to talk about. As far as he was concerned there was nothing else to be said. He had started to come to terms with his new surroundings – he had no other choice.
He still believed a lot of people remained wary of him. The way they kept an eye on him was very subtle. No-one ignored him, or treated him differently; they just did not seem too forthcoming. Then again, neither was he. Perhaps he was
paranoid. They probably didn’t care he existed.
After eating another great meal, he got up to go, not in the mood to hang around.
‘You want some company?’ Kayla asked, about as innocently as a shark in the middle of a feeding frenzy. She was still trying to convince him they were meant to be, even though he had made it clear from his actions he was not interested.
‘No thank you,’ he said in his politest voice. No point offending her.
Jensen looked even more worn out than him today. They must have worked harder than usual. As he approached the stairway leading to the accommodation, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned around to see Ingrid trying to catch up. His shoulders dropped. He hoped some day she would give up.
‘Are you okay?’ She ran her hand through her hair.
‘Fine, just tired – I’m calling it a night.’
She bit her lip, before she added with a look of concern, ‘Make sure you tell someone, if you start to feel sick.’
‘I’m not sick, just tired, I’m sure I’ll know the difference. Can I go now?’ He wondered why she was still following him. It was almost as though she was waiting, always waiting. He could not figure out what, exactly, she was waiting for. He hoped it was not him. She would be disappointed if it was.
‘Okay then, let me know if you need,’ she paused, ‘a friend.’
‘Thanks for the thought. I’m not sure I’d turn to you though – you nearly killed me,’ he said, as he shook his head.
Ingrid pursed her lips, her eyebrows furrowed, ‘Can we put the past behind us, please?’
‘I don’t think that’s possible,’ he replied, ‘Sorry.’
The expression on her face said it all. She looked to the floor, and then she stared at him again, ‘I thought you also kissed me back that first time, we shared a connection from the beginning.’
‘That was a long time ago. If my memory serves me right you entranced me, remember? Do yourself a favour and stop dreaming of something you can’t have. Find someone else.’ With a pitiful sigh, he turned and carried on walking. He had no doubt in his mind that some things needed to be said. It was better to be cruel than kind at times. His intent was not to hurt her, but he couldn’t take the words back. She was the one who had started his nightmare. Even though things here were not as bad as he’d thought, he was not prepared to forgive and forget.
Chapter 36
Jensen
Steven woke up, disturbed by a series of deep snores and the sound of tossing and turning. He listened intently and realised it was coming from Jensen’s bed. It sounded like he was thrashing around a lot more than usual. The other two were practically shaking the room with their thunderous snores. Jensen held his own, but his sounds were disjointed, as though he was in pain. It was weird. Fumbling around for the tiny torch, Steven turned it on and looked around. He was desperate for the loo. He made his way out and found his way to the toilet. On the way back, he heard the sound of beating, like a heartbeat. He decided to investigate.
At the end of the tunnel the area widened out. He pointed the flashlight up towards the high cave ceiling. A multitude of bats scampered around. He had seen them before, but it was still an impressive sight. They looked so innocent hanging upside down, minding their own business.
He jumped back in surprise as a bat landed on his head and hopped onto his shoulder. It looked him in the eye for a fleeting moment before it flew away again. Steven could not help but wonder if they were just as curious about him as he was about them. He gave an amused chuckle, retraced his steps and started to make his way back. The sound of footsteps made him turn around.
‘What are you doing up? It’s the middle of the night,’ a grumpy voice mumbled.
He turned, to find he was face-to-face with the warden. ‘Sorry, I had to go and then I got lost.’
‘You had to go where?’
‘You know, to go.’
‘You had to pee.’ The warden said the word, as if it was a swear word.
‘Yeah.’
‘Get back to bed,’ he grunted.
The warden had to be the strangest person Steven had met.
Just as he was getting comfortable in bed and had closed his eyes, he heard Jensen moaning – he sounded in physical pain. He flashed the torch in his direction and was shocked to see the sight of him. In the dim light, he could make out a lot of perspiration on his forehead. He was convulsing, his eyes upturned. Quickly, Steven jumped out of bed and gave him a little shake to try to wake him up. Jensen’s mouth started to foam, he looked like he was having a seizure.
Steven had no idea what he should do. He held him up and shouted out for help. The other two woke up. Rod, who was the friendlier of the two, got into gear straightaway and raced out with his flashlight on. Steven was glad someone knew what to do.
After a few minutes passed, several people rushed in, including the warden, with a stretcher in tow.
‘We’ll take over from here,’ the warden said.
He let Jensen go and watched as they put him on the stretcher and took him away.
‘Go back to sleep, there’s nothing more to be done.’ The friendly warden was back again.
The other two got back into bed and started snoring again a few minutes later as if nothing had happened. Steven stared into the black abyss unable to sleep. The main friend he had grown to depend on had just been carried away. It was obvious that Jensen was sick – it had to be the change. He was stupid. He had not noticed the time go by. Would he end up the same way? Would Jensen still be his friend when they next met?
***
Emily watched her son from her table. He sat amongst the others, but he was miles away. Jensen’s absence had hit him hard. She had heard that since Jensen had gone Steven had become withdrawn. He appeared to have no inclination to be with anyone or even talk much for that matter. It was not a nice feeling see her worse attribute, her lack of social awareness, on full display. She had never been that good at integrating either. Now, it was easy for her to see why she never found her complement within the community. She knew people called her proud, even conceited, but that was just an image. She did care about others; she just did not know how to show it.
Anna had inherited all of the social tact, she was the sociable one. It was always embarrassing when someone mistook her for Anna and then shuffled off quickly when they realised it was only her, weird Emily.
It was the main reason she had been swept off her feet by Paul. He just took her at face value. His chat-up line had been so corny, and yet, completely irresistible. Emily closed her eyes and her mind drifted again, it seemed to do this so much more recently. The past was a happier place.
Emily had been getting a drink at the bar, when she heard someone cough next to her. As she turned, she found herself staring at a handsome man with the cutest smile she had ever seen.
He simply said, ‘Would the most gorgeous girl that I have ever seen in my life, please have a drink with me?’
Emily smiled at the thought and opened her eyes.
No-one had ever called her gorgeous or asked her to have a drink with them before. She had been bowled over. The attraction was instant and they had talked endlessly. She knew then she would never cause him any harm. Of course, this only turned out to be physical harm. She had hurt him. Emily had no way of knowing how badly.
It was so stupid; she had fallen in love with a human.
At the time, she had not cared. There was no way she was going to apologise for how she had felt. For the first time since she had changed, she had felt normal – alive. It had been such an impulsive decision when she agreed to elope a few days later and left without telling anyone where she had gone. It was so foolish, and yet, so right. If she had never taken that chance, she doubted that she would have ever experienced true love.
This was why it scared her. Steven looked so vulnerable. He reminded her of her own inadequacies. She would have to try to help him. There was no other way.
***
&nbs
p; Anna watched her sister make her way over to where Steven was sitting. She felt sorry for Emily. She knew the inner turmoil tormenting her; she felt every bit of her pain. It was excruciating. Anna wanted to help Emily, but her husband Juan was watching. He did not approve of Steven, and he thought even less of Emily. The only reason he tolerated Emily, was because she was her sister, but that was as far as his tolerance went. His family was not happy about the situation. Lana and Beatrice, in particular, found it inconvenient. Steven could be a potential suitor for their daughters, Ingrid and Kayla.
Regardless of the fact the option was potentially a good one, they were all extremely concerned about Steven’s suitability. Until he changed, he could not be trusted. Anna had given up arguing with Juan – there was nothing she could do to change his views. She could help Emily another way. She put her head in her hands and made sure she could not be seen. Then she closed her eyes and channelled her energy towards Emily. She thought of happy days, filled with laughter and peace. She thought of her children and the love she held for her husband. She concentrated on the trust she endowed on all of her friends and family.
Once she was full of compassion, she looked up and sent all those thoughts towards Emily.
A small gesture, but it might help.
***
The walk towards Steven made Emily feel like she was trawling through thick, sticky mud. Even though Steven now sat alone, she was apprehensive. She was sure he hated her. As she got to about an arm’s length away, pure joy surged through her. Adrenaline, like a drug. Hyperactive, her voice squeaked as she asked, ‘Can I join you?’
‘Sure,’ Steven replied, without raising his head.
‘Just checking if you were doing okay. You seem, withdrawn,’ she rattled on. She knew she was talking too quickly but she could not help it. Suspicious, she glanced at Anna. When she saw her watching, she shook her head. She could tell Anna had amped up her emotions. Only Anna could influence her mood in this way.