Might Be O.K.
By Jason Wallace Poetry
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Published by:
Might Be O.K.
Copyright © 2015 by Jason Wallace Poetry
I’m on my knees,
And I’m not getting up.
(I wish you would’ve stayed.)
The pain that’s killing me
Isn’t letting up.
(If I could, I would’ve delayed
Every moment you wanted to go away.)
If you could only see my soul,
(I’m breaking down and buried
Under the rubble of all we had.)
Maybe, you would release me from this hole.
(I can’t take it, and I’m afraid
Of ever getting past.)
I don’t get to go away.
I am here, and I can’t stay.
My bones are cold. My heart is overgrown
With the decay of all the love we made.
Every day is a brand new day
Of so much almost hate.
I’m losing my grip on every sense.
I can’t even say
(What it was that made you go away.)
How I would ever bring you back from where you went,
Give you back all the time you spent,
Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.
I owe you far more than I could repay.
The only thing holding me down,
Giving me gravity to stay on the ground
Is hoping you might be o.k.
When you find some place
That offers peace,
Somewhere that I can never be,
Maybe, you might just find a way
To forgive so much that I did wrong
And can’t take back.
All along, I was bad.
If a sorry could ever say
Half of what I regret and wish wasn’t this way,
I’d never stop from those words.
I’d do my best to undo your hurt.
And when it made a difference, I’d leave you alone
To forget that I ever met you and
Made it all worse and stole your dreams and hopes.
(I’d give my life to make you safe.)
(I’d give my soul to take away
All of the pain I made you face.)
Every day is a brand new day
Of so much almost hate.
I’m losing my grip on every sense.
I can’t even say
(What it was that made you go away.)
How I would ever bring you back from where you went,
Give you back all the time you spent,
Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.
I owe you far more than I could repay.
The only thing holding me down,
Giving me gravity to stay on the ground
Is hoping you might be o.k.
If you’re not, and you feel like I do,
Know I was
Never the one for you.
I’m, at best, about as good as it sometimes gets,
Frozen in ice, someone who lets
Beauty slip away.
I’m a beast. I’m afraid.
I’m the least you could do, so much less
Than is good for you.
(Just know I never meant for it to be this way.)
I never meant to leave you in the cold.
I thought that you’d always be there,
And I never did care enough to hear the words you told,
That I had to consider that there was no forever,
If I didn’t change my mode and change my tone.
(You’re in the dark, set against, all alone.)
(I’m trying to give you light to make it home.)
Every day is a brand new day
Of so much almost hate.
I’m losing my grip on every sense.
I can’t even say
(What it was that made you go away.)
How I would ever bring you back from where you went,
Give you back all the time you spent,
Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.
I owe you far more than I could repay.
The only thing holding me down,
Giving me gravity to stay on the ground
Is hoping you might be o.k.
I’m hoping you’re o.k. and not around.
I hope you’ve gone; you can’t hear my sound,
And you’re never gonna come here for me now
Or ever again; when there’s a chance to win,
You need to hold on tight and not let go
And not think of how it all went so down and so old,
Trampled of all you don’t get now and not back then.
I am, again, so sorry I wasn’t your best friend,
Like I swore that I was but was never enough to begin
To be anything you needed or deserved, and the worst
Thing is that you’re paying for my sins.
Every day is a brand new day
Of so much almost hate.
I’m losing my grip on every sense.
I can’t even say
(What it was that made you go away.)
How I would ever bring you back from where you went,
Give you back all the time you spent,
Trying to convince a man of his worsening ways.
I owe you far more than I could repay.
The only thing holding me down,
Giving me gravity to stay on the ground
Is hoping you might be o.k.
I hope you might be o.k.
I hope you’re alright.
Don’t come back this way.
(I hope that you might be o.k.)
Without me, without this place.
(I hope that you might be o.k.)
Without You Here
Please tell me I'm wrong again
And that you don't
Belong to him
I know I gave you away
But I wish
You'd want me when
I cry out your name
Every night in pain
It's just not the same
Since you ran away
Ok, so I'm unforgiving,
Unforgiven,
Unattentive...
So, what's your point
Point me
In a direction to go
I have nowhere
Cuz I can never know
What to do
Or what to say
Or how to feel
Or how to play
And I can't stand
To live like this
I can't go on
Without your kiss
I can't be
What you see
Which is me
I can't believe
That...
You had to leave
So why can't you
Come back to me
And forget what I did
And hear my plea
I'm giving in
To my deepest fears
This life is hell
Without you here
Every day
And every way
That I keep on
The way that I do
I can barely breathe
Cuz all I do
Is think of you
So what do you think
About all of that
Does it mean very much
Does it sound very sad
Could you ever
Love me again
Could you begin to feel
What you did back then
Is any of this real
Will these wounds ever heal
Do I still have a shot
To be all that you need
Do I have the will
To not kill the pain
By killing me
My heart is broken and torn open
And ripped apart
Cuz that is...
What a...
Heart feels like when you're all alone
When you're so lonely
That you don't want to live
That you don't want to go on
You can't keep a smile
For a long while
You can't pretend
That you don't want
Your life to end
You can't forget
The memories, the regrets
You wish you could get
To a place where...
The hurt is gone
Where you
Don't feel wrong
Where you have comfort
Instead of tears
And this life is hell
Without you here
Time has passed
I have passed out
My mind is gone
I'm gone
I'm scared
I wish I could die
I just don't care
I've been down
I've been drunk
I've been messed up
I've been a punk
To take you for granted
To let you leave me
To not take advantage
Of your heart
Beating for me
And I can't believe
That I did what I did
That I said what I said
I hate myself
I can't stop...
These voices...
In my head
That tell me
I'm a fool
I'm so stupid
I might be a tool
I might be useless
I am so sorry
That I can't tell you
It's killin me slowly
To remember I held you
And at the same time
Told you to go
What was I thinkin
What did I know
But I'm down...
To my last cigarette
And my last beer
This life is hell
Without you here!
I Thought It Was
I thought that we
Would always be
Livin this life
Together,
Hand in hand
It took me by surprise
That that wasn't her plan
She didn't really need
A guy like me
She didn't wanna see
What we could've become
It's all over now
It all went down
The drain I didn't know was there
Though I knew
It was her nature to run
But she flew away
And she's gone
Another day
Another day,
She might come back home
Wherever she went
She had to go
Her time, it never was spent
Well enough to know
What we ever could've been
How I really felt
What she always meant to me
That I didn't wanna
Start my life over again
That I didn't wanna be
In this place alone
All on my own
My heart was part of hers
At least I thought it was
Time slips on by
Flowin like a stream
I can't figure out why
She had to kill my dream
I'm down the creek
Without a paddle to row
Gettin knocked around
Not knowin where I'll go
Not feelin a thing
And I can never grow old
With anyone else
Since I loved her
And wanted her all to myself
But that wasn't her idea
Of how to live this life
She was given the chance
To leave me
Without sayin goodbye
She slipped away
Out my door
It's been so many days
I can't tell
What I'm holdin on for
But she flew away
And she's gone
Another day
Another day,
She might come back home
Wherever she went
She had to go
Her time, it never was spent
Well enough to know
What we ever could've been
How I really felt
What she always meant to me
That I didn't wanna
Start my life over again
That I didn't wanna be
In this place alone
All on my own
My heart was part of hers
At least I thought it was
I thought it was
I thought it was
I guess I did because
She told me so many times
That I was hers
And she was mine
That she'd always be
Around for me
She'd never leave
She'd never go
She'd stick by me
Through thick and thin
Through all of the worst
When really she knew
She would never stay
Since the first
Day we met
Now all the moments we shared
Are too much to forget
But she flew away
And she's gone
Another day
Another day,
She might come back home
Wherever she went
She had to go
Her time, it never was spent
Well enough to know
What we ever could've been
How I really felt
What she always meant to me
That I didn't wanna
Start my life over again
That I didn't wanna be
In this place alone
All on my own
My heart was part of hers
At least I thought it was
How can I go on
How can I sleep
How can I eat
I'm a wreck
I can barely speak
I'm so weak
I'm so scared
I'm so hurt
I'm unaware
Of what I'll do
Or how I'll live
Or if someone else comes along
How I'll ever give
Myself to them
Any heart that I might have left
Is scarred and torn
And weighed down with regret
But she flew away
And she's gone
Another day
Another day,
She might come back home
Wherever she went
She had to go
Her time, it never was spent
Well enough to know
What we ever could've been
How I really felt
What she always meant to me
That I didn't wanna
Start my life over again
That I didn't wanna be
In this place alone
All on my own
My heart was part of hers
At least I thought it was
Who knows where she went
Or if she'll ever come back
I wanna believe
But I know I'm lyin
If I actually think that
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