Chapter Four - Lisa
I could tell there was something on Cody’s mind, some kind of issue that kept him wary and distant sometimes, but I couldn’t think what it might be to save my life. There didn’t seem to be anything obvious.
I couldn’t have put a finger on exactly when my thoughts had changed over from curiosity into wishful daydreams, but at some point they certainly had. I wanted to be more than just friends, and I was almost certain he did, too. I caught him watching me sometimes when he didn’t know I could see, and things like that. So his cool and detached behavior confused me, and I wondered if I was doing something wrong that he didn’t like for some reason, or if he had some other girl he was interested in. He never complained and he never talked about anybody else, so all I could do was puzzle my brain till I went around in circles.
I thought several times about flat out asking him what he was thinking and why he was being so standoffish. Most people do appreciate forthrightness, after all, even if it stings for a minute. But then I always ended up thinking uneasily about what he might say. What if he really didn’t like me at all except as a friend and he was only enjoying having somebody to hang out with? I wasn’t quite ready to face that possibility yet. I much preferred to wait a while and see what happened.
Mama always used to tell me that it’s the patient girl who gets her man sooner or later, so I finally decided that was the best advice I knew of at the time. I was willing to let him go at his own pace, however much he mystified me sometimes. So I bit my tongue and pretended everything was fine, determined not to worry about it.
Jenny couldn’t help but notice my blossoming semi-love affair, of course, and when I got home from church Sunday afternoon she pulled me aside for some serious dirt-digging. She had a new boyfriend who’d been taking up most of her time lately, which meant I hadn’t seen her much since I bumped into Cody.
I might as well admit that I’ve always been a little envious of my sister. Jenny is tanned and blonde and outgoing and she has perfect legs and the guys are always drooling over her. As for me, on the other hand. . . my hair is a dull reddish-brown, and somehow I always look too pale even when I put on blush. Add to that a quiet personality and you get, well, blah. Sometimes I think my sister must have arrived in a gift box while I showed up later on in a paper sack. Everybody tells me I ought not to compare myself to her that way, but it’s hard not to sometimes.
Mama always used to tell me I’m beautiful and that still waters run the deepest, but somehow I’d always had trouble believing all those things.
“Okay, spill it, sis. Who is he?” she asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said innocently. I kind of wanted to tell her about him, honestly, but I wanted to make her work for it a little bit first.
“Who’s this boy you’ve been talking to all the time? I’ve never seen you so ditzed out. So come on, give me the goods,” she said.
“Well. . . you might not remember him, but his name’s Cody McGrath,” I said, drawing it out and relishing the suspense for as long as possible.
“You mean the one that lives out there on the way to Linden?” she asked, and I thought to myself dryly that I should have known Jenny would remember him. She knows everybody in three counties on a first-name basis, it seems.
“Yeah, he’s the one,” I agreed.
“Sis, I hate to bust your bubble, but Cody. . . he’s a little weird, you know,” she said, frowning.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Well. . . he wouldn’t go out with Sheila Jackson last month, even though she’s the hottest girl in town,” she said.
“So? Sheila’s a tramp, and you know it as well as I do. I don’t blame him a bit for not wanting to go out with somebody like her,” I said. Not to mention she was a snotty, stuck-up diva who thought the world revolved around her just because her daddy was a bank president and they always had plenty of money. Any male with half a brain would’ve run from Sheila like she was the Thing from the Black Lagoon. Which I guess goes to show how few of them have that much sense, but I was certainly glad Cody did.
“Well, okay, point taken. But what about Janice Loving? He wouldn’t go out with her, either,” Jen said.
“I don’t know her,” I said, shrugging.
“Yes, you do. She was runner-up for Watermelon Queen last summer. Pretty girl, definitely not a tramp, and she’s loads of fun to spend time with,” she explained.
I did remember Janice, now that she mentioned it, and it was true, she was almost as pretty as Jenny was. Of course, Jenny’s idea of “fun” sometimes differed from what a normal person would think, so her recommendation didn’t carry much weight as far as I was concerned.
“I don’t know what all he likes in a girl, sis. I’ve never asked him about who he’s been out with before now,” I complained. Mostly because I preferred not to know, if the truth be told. It was much nicer to imagine that he spent nine years yearning after me and never even looked at another girl, no matter how silly that was. Jenny likes to tell me I live a rich fantasy life sometimes.
“Well, I’ve got it on good authority that he’s never had a steady girlfriend in his life, in spite of the fact that half the girls in the county would die just to go out with him. Now all of a sudden he’s got a thing for you? What’s the deal?” she asked.
“Thanks for that vote of confidence, sis,” I said dryly, but I couldn’t keep a tiny sliver of doubt from creeping into my mind in spite of myself. In spite of my private imaginings, I didn’t really think Cody would have spent half his life pining over a seventh-grade crush. So why no girlfriend, then? It was kind of worrisome, and I was furious at Jenny for making me wonder.
“We’re really more just friends right now, anyway. All we do is talk and go out together sometimes, that’s all,” I said.
“Uh-huh. You can never be just friends with a guy, honey. Trust me on this. Not unless you’re blood kin or he thinks you’re ugly as the back end of a gasoline truck. Sometimes not even then,” Jenny said firmly.
“Well, we are, anyway,” I insisted.
“No you’re not. People don’t float around in a dream world over somebody who’s just a friend. Don’t feed me that bull,” Jenny said.
“Does it really have to have a label? We like each other a lot and we have fun together. Isn’t that good enough?” I asked, not liking how peevish my own voice sounded.
“All right, then, whatever you say. I’m just telling you to be careful, that’s all,” Jenny said.
“I know. And I will. But you just don’t know him like I do. If you did, you’d never think he was anything but the sweetest, kindest, bravest, most handsome and chivalrous man you ever met,” I said, and Jenny snorted in disgust.
“Yeah, sure, whatever. I guess you better tell me all about Mr. Wonderful, then,” she said, resigned.
“He plays guitar in a band, did you know that? And he runs that whole ranch all by himself, with just his mother and one other boy to help,” I began.
“Great, so he’s a mama’s boy who thinks he can sing. It just keeps getting better and better,” Jen said. I gritted my teeth, but plunged ahead doggedly.
“He likes my paintings, too, and he told me I’m different than all the other girls he ever met before,” I told her.
“Well, the boy ain’t lying about that part, at least,” Jenny said.
“He told me I’m beautiful,” I said softly, beginning to be hurt by Jenny’s invincible cynicism. At first I thought she was about to make another snappy comment about that, too, but for once she didn’t.
“Do you think he meant it?” she finally asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Has he asked you for anything? Does he mean it when he says all that stuff, or is he just buttering you up so he can take advantage of you?” she asked.
“Take advantage of me how? What’s he got to gain? It’s
not like I’m rich or anything, and he’s good looking enough that there’s plenty of pretty girls who’d be glad to have a roll in the hay with him, if that’s what he wanted. Why would he lie?” I asked. The very thought of it hurt more than I liked to admit.
“I don’t know, sis. Some guys like a challenge, you know; a girl who’s too easy to get is not worth having, that kind of thing. Maybe he likes a challenge. I’m not saying it’s like that, just that it might be,” she said.
The idea was plausible enough that it created another disturbing drop of doubt in my mind, and I wished I’d never said anything to Jenny to begin with. She was ruining everything, just like she always did.
“I don’t think he’s like that,” I said, and I could hear how unconvincing my voice sounded.
“Well, maybe not. Maybe he really means every single word he said and he’s every bit as wonderful as you think he is. Maybe you’re really the one and only girl in Texas who ever won Cody McGrath’s heart. Stranger things have happened, I guess,” Jen finally said.
“Yeah. . . maybe I am,” I said, half to myself, and in spite of all my sister’s dark hints and conspiracy theories, the thought brought a smile to my face.