“You haven’t said anything in a really long time,” he said.
“I’m thinking.”
“Please stop thinking,” he whispered.
I ran my fingers across his scar and down his cheek. I had made so many mistakes. What was one more? But still, I hesitated.
Brendan moved to kneel in front of me. His large hands squeezed my thighs, then with one swift movement, we were chest to chest, and his lips were on mine. I forgot to worry, forgot to separate, forgot everything but the way my heart hammered in my chest as my body automatically coiled around him. I grew desperate to truly live for just a moment. I was already breathless when he pulled away, leaving me wanting.
“It shouldn’t be this hard of a decision,” he said, and then he was gone.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The castle was in sight. I swallowed hard as the memories of being trapped there engulfed me. I held Scarlet that much tighter when I thought of what would have happened if I hadn’t managed to escape.
Brendan rode up next to the carriage window. My cheeks burned when he caught my eye, but he acted as though nothing had ever happened between us.
“It’s not too late for you to turn back with Scarlet,” he said. “I can send people with you to make sure you get back to the human realm.”
“Are you turning back?”
“No, but this has always been my fight. And I’ve never liked the assassin idea. You gathered these people around you. What’s a few more? There’s still a chance we can solve this peacefully.”
There really wasn’t, but I would need to persuade the Darksiders to step aside in order for me to even reach Sadler. The Darksiders accompanying me could only help with that. “I’m going to need Dubh when we get closer.”
He bobbed his head. “If that’s what you want.”
“I need to lead the way. They have to see me. I have to talk to them. It’s the only way.”
He reached through the opening to briefly touch my hand. “As you wish.” He moved on, and I sat back in my seat.
Fiadh nudged me. “He’s a decent king. Better than I expected.”
“Hmm?” I realised I had been staring into space. “Oh. You need to stay in the carriage, and we could use more black flags. We need to make it obvious that we’re declaring ourselves Darksiders.” My hands were shaking. “I’ll ride up front, and—”
“I’m riding with you,” she said firmly, “as is Dymphna. Whatever the kings say, we three need to make sure that Sadler doesn’t walk away from this.” She gripped my hand tightly. “Promise me you’ll do this for us, make our children safe.”
The fanatical look in her eyes made me shiver. “Who will take care of the children if we ride out together?”
“They’ll have Arlen and Anya, and even Bran. Not to mention all of the others. But you need me. I’m old blood, Cara. My station has never mattered to you, but it still does to many, even now, as diluted as Sadler has made my clan. I need to be seen. People there know me. I’ll aid weight to any claim you make.”
“I don’t want to make a claim,” I said. “I just want this to stop.”
“Sometimes, we don’t have a choice. We can change our minds tomorrow, but for today, you must be prepared for anything.”
“Your husband is probably behind those walls.”
“I’ll face that when the time comes. We have more important worries to contend with first.”
“I feel sick. Do you feel sick?”
She leaned back, closing her eyes. “When I was young, all I wanted was adventure. After everything that’s happened, not much fazes me.”
“You sound like you’re looking forward to this.”
“I have high hopes.”
“You think this will work? That the Darksiders will just… let me pass?”
“We’ll soon find out.”
Too soon, I was on horseback and part of the lead group. I felt as though I were in a dream that was spiralling out of control. How had I managed to go from stuck in a dead-end human job to attempting to assassinate a faery king?
Behind me, the carriages followed in single file, black flags flying. The soldiers marched in parallel lines, and the rest of the Darksiders and servants brought up the rear.
I leaned forward to ask Sorcha, “Can’t your god do something about Sadler’s god? A deity death-match of some kind would really help.”
“Don’t you think a war would be highly rewarding for a god of death?”
She apparently missed the joke. I exchanged an amused glance with Brendan.
“Look at that,” Vix said, pointing at the castle ahead. “He has every man, woman, and child incapable of using a weapon standing guard.”
She was right. Lines of people stood outside the walls, most of them looking terrified.
“I have to ride ahead of the green and silver soldiers,” I said. “With a small group of Darksiders.”
“My assassin will accompany you,” Drake said.
Brendan let out a little hiss. “That’s a last resort. We give them a chance to surrender first.”
“If Sadler doesn’t die, then the ships will land,” I said. “And the assassin can’t be from a different court, or the people here will have no choice but to fight back. If one of us—a Darksider—assassinates him, then it’ll be more acceptable to the people.”
“Who?” Drake asked. “Who will do it?”
“I volunteered,” Rumble lied. “It will be me.”
“And I’m going in with Cara in case something goes wrong,” Dymphna said.
“You don’t have to do that,” Sorcha said sharply.
“I’m a free fae, and I want to do this,” the daoine sídhe retorted. “I want to look Sadler in the eye today.”
“We will follow close behind,” Brendan said. “Just in case.”
I took a deep breath, nodded at my Darksider companions, and set off for the castle. If I was lucky, I would end Sadler before any of the others reached me. Then the deal would end, and Brendan and Drake would divide the land up between themselves. And I would have enough favours gathered to really help the remaining Darksiders… and my daughter.
When we grew closer to the castle, I realised I knew some of those standing outside the walls. I waved at Rat. The people around her stared as she gave me a pathetic wave back.
Could I really do it? I would be risking the lives of people like Rat if it all went wrong. I pulled on Dubh’s reins, unable to continue.
“What’s wrong?” Fiadh whispered impatiently.
I shook my head. “I just need… a minute.”
“Where’s Sadler?” Drake called from behind me.
“In the castle,” someone answered. “Are you here to kill us all then?”
“You won’t die today by our hands,” Brendan answered.
Voices rang out in protest, some of them claiming they wouldn’t listen to a king of a rival court. I urged Dubh forward and held up my hand, praying for the right words to come. Whispers surged through the crowd. I made an effort to relax and used that emotion. I pushed it out to everyone around me in an attempt to calm them.
I attempted a smile, but I feared it looked more like a grimace. “Don’t you remember me?” I asked.
Most of the faces staring back at me were blank and hard. The rest held terror, their owners already accepting that it was their day to die.
I pointed at my group. “You can see the Darksiders amongst us, some of them soldiers, many of them forcibly expelled from their homes.”
“Traitors!” someone shouted.
“We brought home our queen,” Vix said scornfully. “How does that make us traitors?”
I held up my hand to display my wedding ring. “You know who I am. Your king forced me to marry him. I lived here as a prisoner, but many of you were good to me. I left to save my child from Sadler’s madness. I know he’s using Deorad’s children to keep himself young. I couldn’t let that happen to my daughter, and when I heard what he was doing, I knew I had to come b
ack and stop him.”
“A princess?” somebody asked, her voice filled with awe.
I nodded vigorously. “Yes! She’s here with me, untainted, completely clean. That means there’s hope for us. It’s not over. The land isn’t completely dead. She’s a sign. We can’t give up now.”
“It’s a lie!” a woman shouted. “Her child died. It was a monster, I heard. Deformed.”
I gripped the reins a little tighter. “It’s not a lie.” I tried to keep my voice even. “I came back to plead with Sadler to end his deal with his god. Ships will soon arrive, carrying the dead to fight on Sadler’s behalf. Who will die first? The people guarding Sadler’s door.” I crossed my fingers, praying they wouldn’t try to fight. I could almost taste the bloodlust coming from the Silver army.
“He’s our king,” an old man said. “He knows best. He has to know best.”
“Then that makes me your queen,” I said, “and my daughter your princess. Let me pass so I can speak to my husband.”
“It’s a trick!” another yelled. “A human is no queen.”
“She’s the one who fed you,” Rat said. “She’s the one who gave her own food to the tents.”
“And the goddess’s flower grew here because of her,” the head gardener called out.
Voices murmured arguments and rumours. I looked back at Brendan. He didn’t appear concerned. Vix and Rumble moved closer to me, causing more chatter. Fiadh’s presence appeared to puzzle many of the fae. I heard Glic’s name mentioned more than once.
“We can’t stop her from returning,” one man said.
“He’s the king!” a second shouted.
“A king who murders us at will.”
“How many more of us have to die?”
“We’ll die if we betray him!”
Fiadh clapped her hands. “Make a choice! A mad king or a queen with an unblemished heir. My line stands with the latter.”
Rat raced over to stand beside Dubh. “I choose the queen.”
“Get behind the soldiers where it’s safe,” I told her. “And thank you, Rat.”
She beamed and ran to join my group. Donncha and his warriors marched forward and lined up at Dubh’s rear. The head gardener urged a number of people to cross over onto our side. Most refused, but after much persuasion, enough moved out of my path.
I rode Dubh closer, and the gates slowly opened. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I was full of doubt, but when I thought of my daughter in the hands of Sadler, I knew I had to go through with it.
In the courtyard in front of the ruined castle, Sadler stood tall, surrounded by heavily armed soldiers. The last time I had seen him, he had been weakened, maybe even dying. He looked strong but more touched with the blight than ever.
“I hear my wife has returned to me,” he called. “Along with the heir to my throne.” He gestured at his soldiers. “Kill her. Take the child.”
A group of armed men raced toward me. People on either side of the gates screamed and ran. Dubh danced backward a few steps. To my dismay, my Darksiders rushed forward to meet the soldiers in battle, Donncha at their lead. He whirled, cutting down two soldiers, and then the fight moved too fast for me to see. But the battle would only end in senseless death. Drake, Brendan, and Sorcha raced forward to join me, and I knew it was all going wrong.
“Stop!” I shouted, sending my emotion outward to ensure the soldiers felt it. It was my best weapon against Sadler, and I had no choice but to use it. I had to step knee-deep into my emotions and wield them. “Stop it!”
Dazed, Sadler’s soldiers backed away. My Darksiders obeyed, also.
“I didn’t come here to watch Darksiders die!”
Sadler sneered. “Then why did you come?”
“I’m here to talk some sense into you before you have every Darksider killed for nothing,” I replied.
“You’re here as a mouthpiece for rival courts.” He spat on the ground. “Look at them, Green and Silver pretending with their black flags.”
“The black flags are for the Darksiders who ride with us. They don’t want to die, not by the hands of the dead.”
He looked momentarily startled, but as he recognised familiar faces around me, he relaxed. “All I see are traitors who defected because they’re weaklings. Let them die. The strong stand by me.”
“You’re a terrible king,” I said. “You’re too consumed with hatred and bitterness to ever rule properly. You’re going to sacrifice all of these people for what? What is your god going to give you? What do you have to give?”
“I’ll give everything to see that bastard squirm! I’ll give a war and thousands dead to give Brendan the punishment he deserves!”
“You don’t have thousands,” I said. “Not anymore. You drove them all away. You’ll lose a war long before the ships ever arrive.” I prayed he wouldn’t question my bluff.
“I don’t care!”
“There doesn’t have to be a war. We can negotiate peace terms with your people. You can end your deal with your god before you kill everyone here. The ships land on the Darkside. Do you really think you can control the dead?”
“I don’t want peace. Why would I want peace? This is the court of chaos. We’ll revel in the end of days.”
“You misunderstand me,” I said quietly. “You’ll be punished for your crimes, Sadler, but don’t let these people die for nothing. Let them leave. Let them look for safety. Stop using them as shields!”
“They belong to me. If I say they die, then they die!”
A number of people shuffled away from Sadler’s gates and toward me.
“Kill them!” he roared at his soldiers. “Kill them all.”
Some of the soldiers were still too dazed to listen, while the rest looked uncertainly at Rumble then at each other. Rumble had been Sadler’s, always. And now he was mine. To them, that said more than having Fiadh on my side, more than any number of tribesmen chiefs.
“Don’t do it,” I said. “Sadler, you don’t have to do this.”
“I want to be remembered as the one who cleaned this land of the blight.”
“The taint? We can—”
“The weakness!” He looked at his soldiers in disgust. “And what do I care for these people? They’re servants. They’re nothing. They have no names.”
“They have names!” I dismounted and walked toward him.
“Careful,” Rumble said from behind me. “Not too close.”
“I have to get close,” I murmured. “There’s no turning back now.”
The crowd surged forward, surrounding us with only a few feet on all sides. I faced Sadler, but he still had soldiers who could end me before I managed to put my hand to my dagger. Rumble and Vix would help me. I knew that, but my courage failed me yet again. It was just like with Reynard. I couldn’t stomach killing someone in cold blood. I had to let him remind me of exactly the kind of monster he really was.
Sadler glanced at my stomach. “Where is the child, wife?”
“She’s here,” I said. “And she’s not one of your tainted monsters, either. She’s proof the taint can be overcome. The fact that Brighid’s flowers grow in the soil proves that the land can be healed. The Darkside can be saved.”
Another soldier moved from Sadler’s side. If I just kept talking, I could carve out enough space to do him some damage.
“And… and these people aren’t worthless. They have souls and minds of their own. They don’t deserve to die because you’re angry.”
Sadler scowled. “They will all die because my god wills it so.”
“You’re wrong,” I said. “They won’t let you kill them.”
I sensed more people joining my group.
Sadler’s gaze shifted to Brendan, who pushed his way through the crowds to stand with me. “Still using bitches to do your dirty work?”
“Don’t,” I whispered as Brendan took a step forward. I sensed others breaking through the crowd, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off Sadler to see who they were.
br /> “Kill her!” Sadler shouted. “Now, before it’s too late.”
I stood still and held out my arms. I felt strangely calm, as if I could see every move, every outcome, before I even took a turn. “I’m one of them, Sadler. I’m a Darksider. You saw me in some mirror and made me one of them. But you’re just a monster throwing a dangerous tantrum.” I dipped into the well of emotion I had spent a lifetime blocking off. I let the anger and frustration, the fear and pain I had felt at Sadler’s hands bubble to the surface. “And you are weak. You’re a coward. You’re afraid of a human, afraid of the other courts. You don’t even have the power to stop your own addiction. You. Are. Nothing.”
“She dares,” he spluttered. “Kill her now.”
“No,” Rumble said, stepping ahead of me. “It’s over, Sadler. You’re done.”
Sadler cackled. “And who will take my place? Eh? Who will rule the sullied?”
I moved my hand to my dagger. It was time.
“I will,” Drake said, brushing past me to stand in the centre. “I will take your place.”
I glanced at Brendan. He looked only slightly less shocked than I felt.
Drake turned sideways to address the crowd. “Deorad was my father, and Sadler’s heir is my daughter. I’m a branded king in my own right. Who better to take over the Dark Court?”
Murmurs travelled through the crowd. A few heads bobbed as if in agreement.
Drake pointed his sword at Sadler. “Get on your knees and denounce your throne. Give up the crown, and call me your heir. I’ll show you mercy, and then I’ll take the Darkside into my own realm.”
Brendan’s people moved almost as quickly as Drake’s. Sorcha ran to stand at Drake’s back, her arms outstretched and her eyes a filmy grey as she prepared to invite death. Arlen held Brendan back, but the king—my friend—struggled against his nature. He had hoped to regain some of his land, but all along, Drake had been working to steal it from him again.