By nine that evening, Renee’s nursing uniform had been traded for slacks and a long-sleeved blouse, but she was just as busy as if she’d stayed at work. Lynne’s labor was progressing faster than Dr. Salters had predicted, although it did appear the baby would be born after midnight. At ten thirty, Lynne was almost fully dilated, but it took until after eleven when she began to push. Eric found the process fascinating, the first time he had ever been present for the arrival of a human being.
During his time as a hawk, Eric had witnessed plenty of animal births, be they mammals or fowl. In the wild, birth seemed a fleeting but necessary step in the circle of life; it carried no resonance of joy for the parents. It was what ensured a species’ survival, although sometimes Eric wondered if certain creatures cared more than others. But as Lynne panted and groaned, wept and even occasionally giggled, Eric became aware of just how differently people were from animals. Within his own heart tumbled brand-new emotions that he pondered in brief snatches, like when Lynne was between contractions, or when he spoke to Sam downstairs. Laurie had called before Sam fetched Renee, and Eric had been told that both Laurie and Stanford wanted to be waked from sleep whenever someone had a minute to pass along the good news. Sam had blanched at calling the New Yorkers in the middle of the night, but Eric insisted, and Sam was to call Stanford’s number, for Laurie was staying over. Sam didn’t question that detail, and Eric was relieved. Then Lynne had hollered for her husband, and Sam smiled, shooing Eric back up the stairs.
Now, hours later, Eric sat behind Lynne in the double bed, supporting his wife. The love he felt for her couldn’t be measured; it sprang from every pore, churning through each vein. His heart pounded as from deep within herself, Lynne exhibited a massive strength, her body on a course with only one ending. As she began to push, her tones altered from high-pitched squeals to low, powerful grunts, and her body had altered as well; the baby was well down in Lynne’s pelvis, ready to emerge into the world.
Eric wondered if he could ever paint this scenario, which included Renee and Dr. Salters. There was Lynne’s changing physical condition, as the baby waited at the final precipice, also how Lynne had transformed from a woman wracked by pain to one preparing for the hardest work. Renee reminded Lynne that regardless of anything else, labor was the most demanding job any woman would ever perform. Eric felt no envy from Renee, only a grateful joy that she was a part of this occasion. And from the doctor, Eric noted a different sort of thankfulness; perhaps Dr. Salters was reminded of the simplicity of childbirth, far removed from a hospital’s sterile surroundings.
On the dresser across from the bed stood three vases of daffodils, their fresh scent wafting throughout the room. Lynne had asked that the main overhead light be turned off, it hurt her eyes. Instead, the room was lit by large standing lamps that Eric and Sam had brought upstairs. That had been the last time Sam saw Lynne, and he had kissed her sweaty forehead, then laughed as she moaned in pain. Deep love had been passed between them, as Sam gently grasped her hands, wishing her the best, and that custard would be waiting when all this was through. Lynne had smiled, tears falling down her cheeks, and Sam brushed away a few as he left the room. Eric wasn’t sure if Sam was inside the house, or roaming the garden, although Eric suspected Sam wasn’t far, for now that Lynne was pushing, it could be any time.
Eleven o’clock turned into eleven thirty. As all of Lynne’s bulk rested against Eric, he whispered that he loved her, and how well she was doing. Then he gazed at the doctor, who nodded. “Lynne, you’re doing just fine. How do you feel?”
“I’m so tired.” Her voice was weary. Then she stiffened, and Eric bolstered her forward. As if they were one body, he sensed the oncoming contraction, and her fatigue. Yet, she bore down, her pain voiced in guttural moans that reminded him of animals. She panted hard, then elicited a faint cry. Then she slumped back into Eric’s arms, trying to catch her breath.
Lynne hadn’t wanted any gas; she had wished to deliver naturally. But a canister waited on the floor, and in Renee and Dr. Salter’s anxious eyes, Eric knew their thoughts. A first baby sometimes took upwards of an hour or more to push out. Lynne had napped that morning, but now twelve hours later, she was thoroughly exhausted. “Honey, why don’t you take some gas?”
“No,” she grunted, sitting upwards. “Oh my God, oh Eric!”
“Push now Lynne, right now,” Dr. Salters ordered. “Bear down until I count to five.”
As the doctor counted slowly, a tremendous force moved through Lynne, making Eric shiver. Lynne kept pushing, and as Dr. Salters said five, Lynne continued, then stopped. Again she slumped backwards, then Eric wiped her face with a damp cloth. “That’s great sweetheart, oh Lynne, that was wonderful.”
“How much longer?” she asked.
“Not long. The head’s emerged, just on that push.” The doctor smiled at Eric, then nodded to Renee. “Lynne, the next few pushes I want you to do exactly as I say. I don’t want you to tear significantly, so no matter how badly you need to push, just follow my orders, all right?”
“Uh-huh, but will it be soon?”
“Yes, in fact….” The doctor stared at Eric, mouthing Hold her steady. Eric nodded, as Lynne lurched forward, that massive pulse right on the cusp. “Now Lynne, remember, not until I tell you.”
“But I need to!”
Eric set his face alongside his wife’s. “Lynne, let the doctor do her job. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, it’s gonna be all right.”
Lynne nodded, grasping Eric’s hand. He gripped back. “I love you Lynne, I love you so much. Just trust the doctor.”
As he spoke, Lynne reared back, but did not push, although Eric felt how badly she wanted to. She cried loudly, calling his name, which pierced his heart. Yet, she did exactly as the doctor said.
“Oh Lynne, that was wonderful.” Dr. Salters smiled. “Now, on the next contraction, I do want you to push, and keep pushing until I tell you to stop. You’re almost there Lynne, the next one might be it.”
“Really?” Lynne said, in tears.
“Really,” Renee answered, as the doctor readied her instruments. “Just hang in there Lynne. That baby’s just about here.”
“Oh Renee, oh I wish you….” Lynne began to cry. “Eric, it hurts, I don’t know if I can do it, I don’t….”
Suddenly Lynne arched back, then she curled forward. Eric followed her movements while glancing at the doctor, who nodded. Then Eric gazed at Renee, who didn’t meet his eyes. She was watching Dr. Salters, who now looked right at Lynne. “It’s time. On my mark, and keep pushing until I stop counting. One…two…three….”
By three Eric realized this was the last contraction. Clutching his hand, Lynne groaned loudly, and the sound resonated all through Eric, who trembled from the magnificent force. The doctor’s voice slowed, but then she spoke. “Four…five…. Keep pushing Lynne, you’re almost….”
“Argh!” Lynne shouted, then fell back against Eric. As she did, a rush of liquid emerged, as did a sharp cry, that of a newborn. Eric stared ahead, seeing a plump, wet infant in Dr. Salter’s secure grip.
“What is it?” he asked, kissing his wife’s sweaty cheek.
“A girl, you have a daughter, Mr. and Mrs. Snyder. Congratulations!”
“Oh Lynne, you did it! Our baby, our baby girl.” Eric laughed, then wiped Lynne’s tears. “Honey, I’m so proud of you.”
Lynne didn’t speak, but she nodded, looking toward the doctor and Renee, who were inspecting the infant. Then Renee smiled at the new parents, as the cord was cut. Then the squalling child was wrapped in a blanket.
“By the looks of her, I’d say she’s eight pounds at least. She’s in perfect health, and none the worse for wear.” The doctor stood, then handed the baby to Renee. “Lynne, you did so well, so well.”
“Can I see her?” Lynne’s voice was barely a croak.
“Of course sweetie.” Renee smiled, stepping to where Lynne rested in Eric’s arms.
Lynne and Eric stared at
their baby, who squinted, then flashed deep blue eyes at her parents. Dark brown hair swirled in damp curls on her head, but she seemed rather displeased for having been uprooted from her previous surroundings. She let out another loud cry, then quieted, gazing at her mother and father.
“Oh Lynne, she looks just like you.” Eric couldn’t wait to hold her, but for now, he grasped his shaking wife. He stared at the doctor, who was pressing firmly on Lynne’s belly. The fundal massage was necessary; Eric had studied up on all the procedures involved. Yet, it was only the four, or rather five of them, in a familiar room within his house, and Sam was just downstairs. Lynne had been so right to want to deliver at home, then Eric smiled, as footsteps were noted outside the door.
“It’s a girl Sam, Lynne and Eric have a daughter.” Renee called to her husband. “But don’t come in yet.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not,” he hollered.
As the doctor continued pressing on Lynne’s abdomen, the new mother had a weary chuckle. “Sam, soon I’ll want some custard. Is that okay?”
“That’s fine, if Dr. Salters says so.”
“Custard in about an hour would be wonderful, for all involved.” Dr. Salters smiled, then walked to the end of the bed. “Lynne, you did so well. I’m going to wash you up now. Do you feel like you could nurse?”
Eric stared at the doctor. “Is she all right?”
“She’s bleeding a little more than I’d like. If she nurses now, her uterus will start to contract. It might hurt some, but if you feel able.”
“Oh yes, please.” Lynne sat up, then took a deep breath. “I wanna hold her.”
Renee nodded, placing the quiet baby in her mother’s arms. Eric looked over Lynne’s shoulder, as Lynne stroked the baby’s face. “Renee, can you help me?” Lynne asked softly.
“Of course honey.” Renee positioned the baby against Lynne’s breast. “Just stroke her cheek with your nipple. It won’t take her long to get the idea.”
Eric chuckled, wondering if Sam was still outside the door. Then footsteps were heard heading downstairs, but Eric didn’t speak, watching as his daughter latched on. “How does it feel?” he whispered.
Lynne was quiet for a moment, then she began to weep. “Like the most perfect thing. Oh Eric, oh my lord.”
“I love you honey, I love you both so much.” Eric kept his voice low, as Lynne repeated her words, uttering a few groans in between. Then he gazed at Renee, who wiped her eyes, but he detected no sorrow in her tears. He nodded at her, and she smiled, then blew him a kiss. Then Renee Ahern turned to the doctor, as both women tended to their patient.
Lynne and Eric had wanted to name their first daughter for his mother, but those plans were altered, for now Lynne wished to honor another woman, and Eric was in complete agreement. They had a minute to discuss it while Renee went to use the bathroom. Upon her return, they announced what they wanted to call their first child. “Jane Renee,” Eric said proudly, bringing Renee to quick tears.
Sam had been standing outside the room, and he coughed loudly. “Did you say Jane Renee?”
“Yup,” Eric called. “Miss Jane Renee Snyder. Too important of a moment to call her anything else.”
“But I thought you were naming her for your mother,” Renee sobbed. “You can’t do that.”
“We most certainly can. Mom would completely understand. The next one will be an Emma, well, Emma for her middle name. Jane Renee has a better ring to it than Jane Emma anyways.” Eric smiled, then kissed his wife. “Here Renee, give me hand. If I don’t get up soon, I’m gonna be a pretzel.”
Renee helped Eric from the bed, as Lynne was checked by Dr. Salters. The baby rested in a bundle against her mother, a knit cap on Jane’s head. Lynne smiled as Eric embraced Renee, then he headed to the doorway. “Sam, I think it’s safe enough. You wanna meet Miss Jane?”
Sam peered around the corner. “Uh, are you sure?”
“We’ve gotten the big mess mopped up,” Renee croaked. “Get in here Samuel, I need you.”
He stepped inside, then was grabbed in a bear hug by Eric. Then Eric led Sam to Renee, who trembled in her husband’s embrace. Eric rejoined his wife and daughter, sitting on the other side of the bed next to Lynne, the baby snuggled against her.
Sam kissed Renee, then gripped her hand, as together they approached the bed. “Here, sit down.” Renee pointed to the chair a foot away from the mattress. Sam sat, and was glad for a seat. His knees knocked, and his heart raced. Lynne grinned at him, but he didn’t want to stare at her. She looked pale and weak, but her smile was too beautiful to ignore.
Then he gazed at the baby, or what of her he could see; her facial features were squished, but her skin looked like silk. A few brown strands of hair curled out from under her cap, and she seemed asleep, or just resting. “She’s so little,” he finally said, trying to maintain his composure.
“She’s not that little,” Lynne said. “Eight pounds two ounces, right?”
“Indeed.” Dr. Salters came to Eric’s side. “Ten fingers, ten toes, and a good strong jaw. I’ll be right back, just going to make a few calls.”
“We’ll be here,” Eric smiled.
Once the doctor was heard taking the stairs, Sam let out a small cry. Then he smiled, wiping his eyes. “Well, she looks great to me. And you weren’t too loud Lynne, not too loud at all.”
She giggled, then winced. “Don’t make me laugh Samuel Ahern.”
“Is she okay?” He gazed up at Renee, who stood behind him.
“She didn’t need any stitches, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Well, that was more than I wanted to know.”
“Did you call Stanford?” Lynne asked.
“I did. They were happy to hear it, he and Laurie both. Laurie said he’d try to get here by Saturday, if that was okay with all of you.”
Lynne nodded, then closed her eyes. “Saturday, St. Patrick’s Day.” Then she smiled. “You’ll need to get another piece of beef.”
“Probably,” Sam said softly.
“You wanna hold her?” Eric asked.
Sam stared at Eric. “What?”
Eric chuckled. “You look like if we don’t put her in your arms soon, you’re gonna go on a kitchen strike. No time for that now Ahern. We’re depending on you to feed everybody for the next several days.”
Sam wondered if Eric could read minds; Sam ached to hold the baby, partly named for his wife. He wondered how Renee felt about that; she was probably as stunned as Sam, sitting so close to a new mother and her sleeping infant. But this wasn’t just any baby; this child had only been born an hour ago. Sam had sat on the bottom step as Lynne entered this new realm, Eric too, but it was far more work for Lynne. Now she seemed ready for a long sleep, which Sam felt she sorely needed after all that work, and he’d been privy to every audible part of it. And here he was, less than two feet from the culmination of…. Sam trembled as Renee squeezed his shoulders. “Honey,” she said to him, “shall I hand her to you?”
He nodded, unable to speak. Then he glanced at Eric, who also nodded. But Eric understood Sam’s heart, for it wasn’t that this baby was freshly out of her mother, or that she was Eric’s firstborn child. She was…. Then Sam inhaled, letting it out with relish. She was a gift, not only to her parents, but for all who were blessed to know her.
He’d held little babies before, ranging in age from a few days to a few weeks old. But Jane Renee Snyder was different; as Renee set the sleeping infant in Sam’s grasp, Sam trembled only for a moment. Then he closed his eyes, and took another deep breath. The scent was vaguely familiar, from when he’d cradled the tiniest of those children, but upon Jane the fragrance was powerful, also healing. It was that of a newborn, unable to be captured anywhere but in these earliest moments. By the time Laurie and Stanford visited, Jane would have been bathed once, perhaps twice, and the scent would be lost. But in Sam’s arms, she emitted the most beautiful aroma, and it wound into him with every inhalation he took.
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Opening his eyes, he stared at Jane’s, which were tightly shut; they were blue, from what Eric had said right after her birth. Neither Lynne nor Eric had blue eyes, but most babies did, changing color later. Sam had seen enough wee ones to recall that fact. Her cheeks were puffy, as was the skin under her eyes, her nose a little smidgen poking out between rosy lips and those concealed peepers. She didn’t look that much different from any other baby, but with every second that passed, Sam felt overtaken by how new she was, how incredibly pristine. Nothing had sullied her, nothing had harmed her, nothing had….
She weighed eight pounds, but felt light as a feather, nestled into the crook of his elbow. He stared at her, then ran a finger along her forehead. She didn’t notice, but his whole hand tingled. Then he smiled, closing his eyes again while inhaling that soothing scent. Scales fell off the walls of Sam’s rib cage, but he hadn’t realized those layers existed. But with every breath, Sam knew a permanent alteration deep inside him. For over a decade he had carried those deposits, the remnants of Josh and Larry, of all those Sam had watched die.
Jane mewed like a kitten, making Sam smile. “I think she’s waking up,” he said quietly, opening his eyes.
“Well, she knows she’s in very good hands,” Lynne said. “Her Uncle Sam has her, nothing else matters.”
Jane yawned, then released a little cry.
“Oh, I don’t know about that. She wants something I can’t give her.” Sam motioned to Renee, who took the baby, setting Jane back against Lynne. Sam stood, then leaned down, kissing Lynne’s cheek. “I’ve got custard to dish up. It’s your job to feed her.”
Gentle laughter emerged as Dr. Salters returned. “And how is everyone?” she asked.
“Good but hungry. I’ll be downstairs if anyone needs me.” Sam hugged his wife, then headed to the doorway.
He was to the bottom of the stairs when he heard steps behind him. Eric smiled, then met Sam in the living room. “She really wanted to see you, so thanks for being so accommodating.”
“Well, it was more than my pleasure.” Sam smiled, then patted Eric’s shoulder. “Jane Renee, huh?”
Eric nodded. “Emma will be for the next girl, if we get that lucky.” Then Eric motioned for the kitchen. Sam led the way, but Eric only went as far as the door. “The doctor said she’ll stay here all night, but if you wanna catch forty winks, feel free.”
Sam shook his head. “I’m too wound up to sleep. Besides, I have custard to warm up.”
Eric chuckled. “Thank you, for everything.”
“Oh, no need to thank me.”
Eric stared at Sam, then squeezed Sam’s left shoulder. “I owe you….”
“Eric, no. I owe you, you and Lynne and Miss Jane.” Sam looked away, then smiled at Eric. “Listen, get back up there. I’ll make some real coffee and bring it up. If I get sleepy, I’ll crash on the sofa, but for now, you belong up there.”
Eric nodded, but didn’t speak, for which Sam was grateful. As soon as Eric left the room, Sam gripped the nearby counter. He breathed deeply, still finding that healing scent within his nostrils. Then Sam started a pot of coffee, his heart floating around untethered inside his chest. By the time he poured three cups, setting them on a tray, he felt years younger, whistling a tune that Josh had often hummed on their way back to camp.
Chapter 55