“You think about the strangest things, mate.” Decebel’s voice filled her mind, making her jump.
Jen shrugged. “If you don’t like my thoughts, then butt out.”
After several more minutes of simply staring at each other, Decebel took a step back, and his eyes slowly went back to their normal, non-glowing state. “You drive me insane,” he said through clenched teeth, “and yet I wouldn’t have you any other way. Go.” He waved her off. “Go. Get us food and then come right back to me. That is my compromise. No detours, no leaving the mansion, no flirting, no solving other pack members’ problems, no dancing on tables, no stripping. Oh, and no flashing, either. Get food. Come back.”
Jen wanted to roll her eyes, but she refrained. Surprisingly, her mate was being somewhat reasonable. Well, reasonable for a mated, male Canis lupus with a brand-new pup. But Decebel was trying, and that was all she could ask.
“Thank you,” she said pushing her love and gratitude through the bond. “I’ll hurry.” Jen opened the door and was out in the hall in the blink of an eye, not wanting to give her mate time to change his mind.
Once she was out of the room, Jen nearly started skipping. She took a deep breath and let it out, just enjoying being in a different space than the suite where she’d been stuck for the past two days. Not that she didn’t love their space, but Jen wasn’t an idle person. Baby or not, she needed a change in scenery every day. And if she was being really honest and ignoring her guilt, she could admit she needed a breather from both her overbearing mate and her boob chewing—albeit adorable—daughter.
Jen felt better now that she’d been able to nurse Thia with less pain. The task of being a mother seemed a little less daunting. Maybe she was past most of the hormonal stuff and things would be smooth sailing from this point forward.
Post-Partum Day Three.
It was four in the afternoon, and Jen was wearing a hole in the carpet where she paced back and forth in the hall just in front of their suite. She had the door open so she could keep an eye on Thia, who was currently full and napping. Decebel had been gone since eight that morning and, by around 9:30 a.m., Jen had begun to feel trapped. She’d become increasingly paranoid and agitated as the day moved on, and she was trying very hard to convince herself she was fine. Because she was. Fine. She was totally fine.
“I’m fine.” She shrugged. “I’m totally, completely, absolutely, effing fine.”
She glanced at the clock and saw that the minute hand had literally not moved since the last time she’d looked at it. “Really? Not even a minute?” She grumbled under her breath. As if it was the clock’s fault that time wasn’t moving faster, and Dec wasn’t arriving home any quicker. “Where the flipping frog crap are you, B?” Jen could the feel growl of her wolf coming through in her voice. Her wolf was as worked up as Jen was, and it was because she couldn’t get herself under control. She wanted to contact him through the bond and ask him where he was, but she refrained. That would make her look like one of those nutjob chicks who have to know where their man is every second of the day. She wasn’t a nutjob chick. Crazy-as-hell new mom? Yes. Nut-job? No.
The sad thing was, it was her fault he was gone. Vasile had called and asked if Dec could help with some pack issues. She didn’t know what they were, and she hadn’t asked. Decebel originally refused the Romanian pack Alpha’s request, but Jen had practically forced him out the door. It had taken an hour to finally convince him to go, and he’d been in her mind all day, so much so, that she finally shut down the bond until they could only feel one another but not communicate. This way, they’d still know each other was safe but wouldn’t distract one another. Jen couldn’t handle the worry that Dec had been projecting onto her. Oh, how wrong, wrong, wrong she’d been. She wasn’t completely ready to admit it yet, but she was starting to realize it wouldn’t take much for her to lose her grip on the ledge called sanity she’d been clinging to.
So, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth she went, all the while clenching and unclenching her fists, unsure of whether she would throw her arms around Dec when he got back or punch him in his handsome face.
“Hey, you okay?” Sally’s voice interrupted her perfectly spaced steps.
Jen turned to face her friend and attempted to swallow down the bitchy remark she was thinking. It wasn’t Sally’s fault Jen’s hormones were still declaring war on her body; she would try to keep her friend from being a part of the collateral damage.
“If by ‘okay’ you mean I’m about ten seconds from having a squirrel-on-crack moment, then hell-to-the-yes, I’m okay.” So much for swallowing the bitchy and reducing the collateral damage. “I love my daughter. I do,” Jen said as she started pacing again. “And I would do it all over again even knowing what I know now. But can I just be real with you right now, healer?”
“Pretty sure real is all you have right now,” Sally muttered. Jen ignored it and kept on trucking.
“I don’t understand what I’m feeling, Sally! It’s like someone opened my skull, jacked around in my brain all Hannibal Lector style, and now everything that was once working right is screwed six ways to Sunday.”
“I wouldn’t say everything was working right before…” Sally said and took a step back when Jen took one toward her.
“The point is, my emotions are more screwed up than a whore on Tax Day.”
“What does that even mean? That doesn’t make… I feel like the things you are saying aren’t really what you’re trying to say.” Sally frowned.
“I’m trying to say that every time I showered today I was constantly sticking my head out because I thought Thia was crying, but she wasn’t. So I’d stick my head back in, and the damn crying was back. It’s like she already knows how to mess with me.”
“Sweetie, how many showers have you taken today?”
“That’s not important!” Jen said, stomping her foot. “What’s important is that when I had that baby”—she pointed toward the open door—“I didn’t just lose a placenta. I lost more than a placenta! No one told me I would lose more than a bloody, messy placenta!”
“I thought you took a birthing class online?” Sally asked, her frown deepening. “I mean you knew the umbilical cord wasn’t going to stay, right? But what else did you lose? I mean, what else is there besides the placenta, a baby, and umbilical cord?”
Jen grabbed the front of Sally’s shirt, causing her long time BFF to squeak. Jen pressed her forehead to Sally’s and glared into her eyes. “I lost my soul,” she hissed out. “And my mind. They’re both gone.”
“Okay, well,” Sally said slowly. “It’s good you recognize that maybe something isn’t quite right at the moment. You remember you read about postpartum depression? Maybe—”
“Of course I remember reading about it, you milk-less cow.”
“No need to resort to name calling,” Sally chided as she grabbed Jen’s hands and tried to pry them from the front of her shirt.
Jen tried not to growl. She really did. Or at least it felt like she was trying hard not to. But it didn’t sound that way when she spoke. “But I also said I wouldn’t be one of the mothers who suffered from it,” Jen continued. “I turn into a wolf, I’m married to a werewolf, and I just had a daughter who is only alive because someone gave up their life for her. There is no room for postpartum issues on my schedule.”
“Too bad, so sad, Blondie. Depression penciled itself in on your calendar, and right now, bitch, you be crazy.”
“That’s something I usually hear her say, not you.” Jacque appeared in the hall and stepped up beside Sally, who was still trying to pry Jen’s hands from her shirt. “Do I even want to know why you are calling our new mommy a female dog?”
“Jen said she wanted to keep it real, Jacque,” Sally said, letting her eyes shift to Jacque and then back to Jen. “I’m keeping it really freaking real.”
Jen turned her snarling glare on her redheaded friend. “She says I have postpartum depression.”
“And I
say grass is green and the sky is blue.” Jacque responded. “I don’t think stating the obvious should upset you this much.”
Before Jen could argue, her mate’s booming voice came down the hall.
“Jennifer, why are you attacking our healer? You just had a baby. You can’t go around attacking people.”
Jen’s head whipped around so fast she imagined it looked like an exorcism was taking place. And if flames could have erupted with her words, they would have flown from her mouth like a gaslit bonfire. “Don’t you think I know what I just had? I’m the one that had the bleeding mess yanked out of my girl parts.” Jen roared at Decebel, the incredulousness dripping from her voice as her nostrils flared, and her eyes gave off the faint glow of her wolf. Jen attempted to bring herself under control, but she could tell her efforts were futile. Anyone in the vicinity was about to get a spectacular show.
Chapter Six
“We haven’t gotten ourselves into trouble in like … four days. Famous last words.”
~Jacque
Jacque narrowed her eyes on her irate friend. Jen looked more like a frightened beast than a woman three days out from having a baby. But then again, Jacque thought, perhaps those two things are one in the same.
“Female, please calm down,” Decebel said, his voice taking on the Alpha quality that worked on the rest of his packmates. But it wouldn’t work on Jen.
“Does he have a maiming wish?” Sally asked. “I mean, like, does he have some sick fetish where his bat snitch crazy mate claws his eyes out while yelling, ‘I know I had a baby, dumbass’?”
“Don’t forget about the part where she’d remind him that she couldn’t possibly forget she had a baby because she pushed it out of her vagina,” Jacque added.
Sally nodded. “She’d mention that at least twice, probably more though.”
“I CAN ATTACK WHO EVER I WANT TO,” Jen snarled. “You don’t tell me when to attack someone.”
“I feel like we should start singing. It’s my party…” Jacque started.
Sally picked up and finished for her. “I’ll cry if I want to.”
Jen’s head flew in their direction.
“Abort, abort,” Sally said, whispering frantically under her breath as she backed into Jacque.
“Or just distract,” Jacque muttered as she pointed at Decebel. “Remember, he just told you to calm down.”
Jen’s head turned back to Decebel. “BEING CALM IS FOR PUSSIES!”
“Oh snap, she used the P word.”
“Loudly. She used it very, very loudly. Anyone not thinking the P word before will be now,” Sally said.
Jacque nodded. “I’m thinking it.”
“Me too.” Sally sighed.
“Not our fault,” Jacque said and then flinched as Jen slapped away the hand Decebel had been holding out to her, and yelled, “You’re ALL pussies!”
“Aaaaand she just keeps saying it, folks.”
“Should we leave? I feel like we should leave,” Sally asked as she crossed one arm in front of her and raised the other to rest her chin on her hand. Jacque took note and donned the same pose.
“We should. But we’re not,” Jacque whispered. “I’ve been bored out of my mind, and I think we deserve a show for good behavior.”
“True. We haven’t gotten ourselves into trouble in like … four days,” Sally agreed.
“Too bad we didn’t bring popcorn. It seems like we always forget the popcorn during moments like these,” Jacque said.
“I just told Costin to bring some,” Sally told her, holding her hand up, which Jacque then high-fived, quietly.
“YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO GO.” Decebel’s raised voice caused Jacque and Sally to freeze.
“Claws are coming out in the Serbia pack mansion tonight,” said Sally.
“SINCE WHEN DID YOU START DOING WHAT I TELL YOU, B?”
Jacque held perfectly still and only her lips moved as she spoke. “On second thought, maybe we should get the kid and make a run for it? I’ve been dying to get some baby time, but I haven’t wanted to intrude.”
“Baby time would be fun. Intruding on Jen in her current state, though, not so much. So, yes, we should definitely take advantage of this opportunity,” Sally said, while giving a tiny sharp nod. They began moving slowly, shifting with the arguing couple until Jacque and Sally were at the opened door.
“Hurry,” Jacque said pushing Sally. “But hurry quietly.”
“Then stop talking,” Sally hissed, as they hurried into the suite.
“Good point.” Jacque picked up the sleeping infant while Sally grabbed two handfuls of the bags of breast milk from the freezer, snatched up the diaper bag and tossed the breast milk into it. They ran through to the bathroom, heading for the door to the hallway beyond Dec and Jen.
“Re-route your mate and the popcorn,” Jacque whispered.
“Way ahead of you, Red.” Sally smiled.
When they reached Sally and Costin’s suite, they were breathing heavily but trying to be quiet about it so as to not to wake up Thia.
“Why do you two look guilty?” Costin asked as he pulled open the door.
“It’s usually because they are,” Fane said from just behind Costin. Jacque’s mate frowned at her as she and Sally stepped inside. “And why do you have Decebel’s daughter in your arms?”
The trepidation in Fane’s voice made the hair on the back of Jacque’s neck rise. She could tell he was concerned how the Serbian Alpha would react. “We might have, sort of, just a little bit, kinda stolen her?” The statement sounded like a confused question.
“Decebel doesn’t know you have his pup?” Costin asked, his eyes growing wider as he looked between Sally and Jacque.
“There was all this yelling going on, and Jen was like ‘you suck’ and Decebel was like ‘calm down babe,’ and Jen was like, ‘You’re all pussies, stuff your calm down in your pipe and smoke it,’ and Decebel was like ‘you told me to go’ and then Jen flipped her lid and was like “when did you start doing what I tell you. You’re all pussies, bitches,’” Sally explained in frighteningly accurate tones of voices. “There was so much going on so and the combined insults of P’s and B’s totally blew every ones’ minds. There wasn’t really time to stop and ask if they minded if we babysat so … I’m not sure if they, like, know, know, we have her.”
Jacque bit her lip to keep from letting even an inkling of a smile slip as she said, “I’m not exactly sure you got all the P’s and B’s in the right order in that story.”
“She said B and the P word. That’s really all I remember,” Sally defended.
“Wait, didn’t you say the B word?” Jacque asked.
“I don’t think that’s entirely relevant right now,” Sally muttered.
Jacque gave a nod of concession at Sally’s pointed look and started to rock Thia, who was beginning to squirm.
Fane pinched the bridge of his nose, and Jacque could tell he was trying hard to remain calm. “Okay, just so that we are clear as crystal…”
“Crystal clear,” Jacque muttered, interrupting. “It’s crystal clear, wolf.” Her green eyes met his glowing ones, and she bit back her words. “Ignore me. I’ve lost brain cells from boredom.”
Fane started again, only his voice was an even deeper growl. “Just so we’re crystal clear, Decebel and Jen are having an argument?”
Jacque glanced at Sally and then said, “Argument really doesn’t begin to describe it.”
“More of a conflict,” Sally said, giving Jacque a slight nod.
“No,” countered Jacque. “I think it’s more of a fight.”
“Still too mild,” said Sally. “I would say it’s a brawl.”
“A tussle,” Jacque agreed.
“A scuffle.”
“A violent differing of opinions.”
“A wrangle.”
“Oh, I like that one,” Sally said and then added, “a scrap.”
“An altercation.”
“A battle.”
/> “And,” Jacque said with a sigh after Sally’s last vocabulary addition, “if Jen wasn’t just three days out from giving birth, it would also be”—she paused and looked at Sally as they spoke together—“foreplay.”
Costin ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Fane. “How do you want to handle this?”
“I don’t know,” Fane said. “It’s completely different when a pup is involved.”
Costin nodded.
Jacque felt like they were missing something. “What’s different?”
Fane’s eyes had begun to glow. “A male’s sense of humor.”
“Y’all have senses of humor?” Jacque asked as she narrowed her eyes on her mate. “Do I want to know where you’ve been hiding them?”
“Jacquelyn.” Fane growled.
“Do you see any sort of sense of humor in that face, Sally?” Jacque asked, interrupting him.
“Not a lick,” Sally said.
“Thia is the first child to be born to our race since my birth,” Fane said, ignoring them. “How lightly do you think Decebel, who is already in an agitated state—”
“He was way past agitated,” Sally cut in.
Jacque nodded. “Agitated was like ten exits back.”
“Exactly,” Fane rumbled. “So how do you think he’s going to take it when he doesn’t find his pup in the bed where he left it?”
Jacque’s head turned slowly to look at Sally. She really wished, in that moment, they could communicate mentally like she could with Fane. She tried to convey with her eyes what her mouth wanted to say. Is he overexaggerating? You know they tend to do that. Decebel wouldn’t really hurt any of us once he realized Thia was safe with us, right?