I must still write on, till I come to be settled in the station to which I am so generously exalted, that you may participate with me the happiness that arises from my new condition, and rejoice with me on the favours that are hourly heaped upon me by the best of husbands. When I had got my pacquet for you finished, I then set about writing, as Mr B. had kindly directed me, to Mrs Jervis; and had no difficulty, till I came to sign my name; and so I brought it down with me, when I was called to supper, unsubscribed.
My good master, (for I delight, and always shall, to call him by that name) had been writing to Mr Longman. ‘See here, my dear,’ said he pleasantly, ‘what I have written to your Somebody.’ I read as follows: and afterwards, by his leave, took a copy of it for you.
‘Mr LONGMAN,
‘I have the pleasure to acquaint you, that last Thursday I was married to my beloved Pamela Andrews. I have had reason to be disobliged with you, and Mrs Jervis, and Jonathan, not for your kindness to her, but for the application you all jointly made to Lady Davers, on a concern with which that lady could not possibly have any thing to do; and which has occasioned a misunderstanding between her and me. But as it was one of my bride’s first requests, that I would overlook what had passed, and reinstate you all three in your former charges, I chearfully, and without the least hesitation, complied with it.
‘I shall set out next Tuesday or Wednesday for Bedfordshire, and hope to find you and Jonathan there in the full exercise of those trusts, which both of you have always discharged with unquestionable integrity, and to the satisfaction of
Yours, &c.
‘My wife writes herself to Mrs Jervis.’
Most cordially I thanked him; and then shewed him my letter to Mrs Jervis. This is a copy of it.
‘My dear Mrs JERVIS,
‘I have joyful tidings to communicate to you. For yesterday I was married to the best of men, yours and my beloved master. I have only now to tell you, that my generous benefactor denies me nothing, and even anticipates my wishes. You may be sure I could not forget my dear Mrs Jervis; and I made it my request, and had it granted as soon as asked, that you might return to the charge, which you executed with so much advantage to our master’s interest, and with so much pleasure to all under your direction. All the power I have lent me, shall be exerted to make every thing easy and agreeable to you; and as I shall soon have the honour of attending my dear Mr B. to Bedfordshire, it will be a very considerable addition to my joy, to be received there by my dear Mrs-Jervis, with that pleasure which I promise myself from her affection. For I am, and ever will be, with equal affection and gratitude,
Your true Friend,
PAMELA.’
Mr B. read this letter. ‘Why don’t you put your name to it?’ said he. ‘Your goodness, sir,’ answered I, ‘has given me a right to a very honourable one: but as this is the first occasion of the kind, except in a letter I have written to my father and mother, I think I ought to shew it you unsubscribed, that I may not seem –’
‘Sweet creature! ‘said he, interrupting me with a kiss, ‘this is an effect of your amiable humility! But it becomes me to tell you, that I am every moment more and more pleased with the right you have to my name.’ He then took a pen himself, and wrote, after the word Pamela, his worthy name; and I under-wrote thus: ‘Rejoice with me, my dear Mrs Jervis, that I am entitled thus to write myself.’
These letters, and the pacquet to you, were sent away by Thomas early this morning.
My dearest master is just rode out; and intends to call upon Mrs Jones, Mr Peters, and Sir Simon Darnford, to invite them and their families to chapel and to dinner to-morrow. He chose to do this in person, because the time is so short, that they will, perhaps, excuse themselves to a message.
I forgot to mention, that Mr Williams was here yesterday, to ask leave to go to see his new living, and to provide for taking possession of it. He seemed greatly pleased with my master’s generous behaviour to me, as well as with his kind reception of him. He owned, with gratitude, that he thought himself one of the happiest of men.
Great and good God! as thou hast enlarged my opportunities, enlarge also my will, and make me delight in dispensing to others a portion of that happiness which I have myself so plentifully received at the hands of thy gracious Providence! Then shall I not be useless in my generation!280 Then shall I not stand a single mark of thy goodness to a poor creature, who in herself is of little account in the scale of beings, a mere cypher281 on the wrong side of a figure; but shall be placed on the right side; and though nothing worth in myself, shall give signification by my place, and multiply the blessings I owe to thy goodness, which has distinguished me by so fair a lot!
This, as I conceive, is the indispensable duty of a high condition; and what must be the condemnation of poor creatures, at the great day of account, when they shall be asked what uses they have made of the opportunities put into their hands; and are able only to say-We lived but to ourselves: we circumscribed all the power thou gavest us, into one narrow, selfish compass: we heaped up treasures for those who came after us, though we knew not whether they would not make a still worse use of them than we ourselves had done.
But sure, such persons can have no notion of the exalted pleasure that flows from the reflection of having had it put into one’s power to administer comfort and relief to those who stand in need of it. A pleasure which of itself infinitely rewards the beneficent mind, were there to be no after account at all!
How often have I experienced this in my good lady’s time; though but the dispenser of her bounty to the poor and sick, when she made me her almoner! How have I been affected with the blessings which the miserable have heaped upon her for her goodness, and upon me for being but the humble conveyer of her charity to them! And how delighted have I been, when the moving report I have made of a particular distress, has augmented my good lady’s stipend in relief of it!
And now, my dear parents, that it is, by the Divine Goodness, and the favour of this dear man, become my part to supply to the deserving poor the loss they have sustained in the death of my honoured lady, let me beg of you to join your incessant prayers with mine, that I may not set up my rest in my mean self; that I may not so behave as if I thought nothing further was to be done with the opportunities put into my hands: in a word, that my prosperity may not become a snare to me, and make me incur a terrible woe by the abuse or neglect of those opportunities.
SATURDAY, Seven in the Evening
My beloved master returned home to dinner, though much pressed by Mrs Jones, to dine with her, as he was also by Sir Simon, to dine with him. But Mr Peters being unable, at so short a notice, to provide a preacher for his church to-morrow morning, (Mr Williams being gone, as I said, to his new living) and believing he could for the afternoon, he promised to give us his company to dinner, and to read the evening service in our own chapel: and this made my master invite the Darnford family, and Mrs Jones, as well as Mr Peters and his family, to dine with him. They all promised to come.
Miss Darnford, however, told him, pleasantly, she would not come, unless he would promise to let her be at his wedding; by which, I find, Mr Peters has kept the secret, as my master desired he would.
My dear Mr B. was pleased to give me an airing after dinner in the chariot, and renewed his generous assurances to me. Indeed, if possible, he is kinder to me than ever. I will give you a new instance of his goodness.
I begged leave to send a guinea to a poor person in the town, that I heard, by Mrs Jewkes, lay very ill, and was very destitute.
He bid me send two.
‘I will never, sir,’ said I, ‘do any thing of this kind, without making you first acquainted with it, and having your approbation.’
He generously answered, ‘I shall then, perhaps, have you do less good than you would otherwise do, from a doubt of me; though I hope, your discretion, and my own temper, which is not avaricious, will make such doubt causeless.
‘Now, my dear,’ continued he, ‘I’ll tell you
how we will direct ourselves in this point, to avoid even the shadow of uneasiness on one side, or doubt on the other.’
‘As to your father and mother, in the first place, they shall be quite out of the question; for I have already determined in my mind about them; and it is thus: they shall go down, if they and you think well of it, to my little Kentish estate; an offer which once, my dear,’ smiling, ‘you rejected: then to my pain, but now I think it happy for both that you did. There is a pretty little farm, untenanted, upon that estate, and tolerably stocked, and I will further stock it for them; since such an industrious pair will not know how to live without some employment: and it shall be theirs for both their lives; with the house upon it, a pretty good one, and in tolerable repair. And I will allow them fifty pounds a year besides, that they may keep up the stock, and be kind to any other of your relations, without being beholden to you or me, for small matters; and for greater, when needful, you shall always have it in your power to accommodate them; for I shall never question your prudence. And we will, so long as God spares our lives, go down once a year to see them, and they shall come up as often as they please, it cannot be too often, to see us; for I mean not this, my dear, to send them from me. Before I proceed further, does my Pamela approve of what I have said?’
‘I have not words, sir,’ said I, (my eyes, I am sure, glistening with grateful joy) ‘to express sufficiently my gratitude. Teach me, dear sir,’ and I pressed his hand to my lips, ‘teach me some other language, if there be any, that abounds with more grateful terms, that I may not thus be choaked with meanings, for which I can find no utterance.’
‘My charmer!’ says he, ‘your heart speaks at your eyes in a language that words indeed cannot utter. You most abound, when you seem most to want! But let me desire you to mention this to them, for their approbation. But if it be your choice, and theirs, to have them nearer to you, or even under the same roof, I will freely consent to it.’
‘O no, sir,’ said I, (and I fear I almost sinned in my grateful flight) ‘I am sure they would not choose that; they could not, perhaps, serve God so well, if they were to live with you: for so constantly seeing the hand that blesses them, they would, it may be, (as must be also my care to avoid) be tempted to look no further in their gratitude, than to the dear dispenser of such innumerable benefits!’
‘Excellent creature!’ said he, clasping his arms about me; ‘your kind acceptance of my proposal, repays the benefit with interest, and leaves me under obligation to you.
‘But now, my dearest, I will tell you what we will do, with regard to the article of your own private charity. Far be it from me, to put under that name the subject we have been mentioning; since what I have proposed is no more than duly, to persons so worthy, and so nearly related to my Pamela, and now, through her, to myself.’ O how the sweet man – But what shall I say? I will proceed with an account of his further generosity.
‘And this,’ said he, ‘lies in very small compass; for I will allow you two hundred guineas a year, which Longman shall constantly pay you, at fifty guineas a quarter, for your own use, and of which I expect no account. The payment of the first fifty to be made on the day you enter into my other house, that you may have something to begin with. I myself would make you the quarterly payment with my own hands, instead of Longman: but that if I did, it would rather have the look of a present than a due: and no pecuniary matters shall be permitted to abase my love to my wife, or to be supposed to engage that affection, which I hope to be sure of from higher merits and motives.’282
I could not speak.
He proceeded, ‘If what I have said be agreeable to my girl, signify to me that it is, since you seem to want words, by such a sweet kiss as you gave me yesterday.’
I hesitated not a moment to comply with these obliging terms, and threw my arms about his neck, though in the chariot, and blessed him for his goodness to me. ‘But indeed, sir,’ said I, when I could speak, ‘I cannot support myself under this generous treatment! I am quite oppressed with your goodness.’
‘Don’t be uneasy, my dear,’ said the superlatively generous man, ‘about these trifles: God has blessed me with a very good estate, and it is in a prosperous condition. I lay up money every year, and have, besides, large sums in government securities, as well as in private hands; so that you will find, what I have hitherto promised, is very short of that proportion of my substance, which, as my wife, you have a right to.’
This, you will say, was a most delightful airing! The chariot brought us home in the evening; and then our supper succeeded in the same agreeable manner.
SUNDAY, the Fourth Day of my Happiness
Not going to chapel this morning, the reason of which I told you, I bestowed the time, from the hour of Mr B.’s rising, to our breakfast, in prayer and thanksgiving, in my closet. And now I find myself quite easy, chearful and free in my spirits. And the more, as I see, on every occasion, such a sweet tranquillity, and even such an increased vivacity in his temper and behaviour, as cannot but fill me with hope, that he repents not of his goodness to me.
I attended him to breakfast, and drank my chocolate with great pleasure; and he seemed quite pleased with me, and said, ‘Now does my Pamela begin to look upon me with an air of serenity. It shall be always my delight to give her occasion for an aspect that so sweetly becomes her features.’
‘My heart, dear sir,’ said I, ‘is quite easy, and has lost all its foolish tumults, which combating with my gratitude, I am afraid, gave a disagreeable cast to my behaviour: but now it is all of one piece, and devoted to you, and grateful tranquillity. But, dear sir, have you nothing to find fault with me for? Is there not something that you would have me to be, in behaviour, in dress, in any thing, that I am not?’283
‘You are every thing, my love,’ he was pleased to say, ‘that I wish you to be. Only continue to be what you are, and you will be sure of my affection to the end of my life.
‘As to dress, now you have mentioned it, and as to personal elegance, I will observe to you, that I have too often seen, in married persons, that the lady grows careless in her dress; which, to me, looks as if she would take no pains to secure the affection she had gained; and shews a slight to her husband, that she did not shew to her lover: now, you must know, this has always given me great offence. Let me say then, that I shall expect of you always to be dressed by dinner-time, except something extraordinary happens to prevent it; and this, whether you are to go abroad, or to stay at home. Since this will continue to you that sweet ease in your dress and behaviour, of which you are so happy a mistress; and whomsoever I bring home with me to my table, you will be in readiness to receive them; and will not want to make those foolish apologies to unexpected visitors, that carry with them a reflection on the conduct of those who make them; and besides, will convince me, that you think yourself obliged to appear as graceful to your husband, as you would to persons less familiar to your sight.’
‘This, sir,’ said I, ‘is a most obliging injunction. I will always take care to observe it.’
‘You, my dear,’ said he, ‘may better do this than half your sex: because they too generally act in such a manner, as if they seemed to think it the privilege of birth and fortune, to turn day into night, and night into day, and seldom rise till ‘tis time to sit down to dinner; and so all the good old rules are reversed: for they breakfast when they should dine; dine, when they should sup; and sup, when they should retire to rest; and, by the help of dear quadrille, sometimes go to rest when they should rise. In all things, but such as these, my dear, I expect you to be a fine lady. My mother was one of these old-fashioned ladies; and, at the same time, one of the worthiest in the kingdom: you will have the less difficulty, therefore, of following the example she set you.’
I besought him to give me more of his injunctions; and he proceeded to lay down such rules for the family order, as indeed my lady had been used to follow; but which both delighted and surprized me, coming from him. And these were his observations on the early
and regular times of breakfasting, dining, and supping, which he prescribed:
‘I shall, in the usual course,’ said he, ‘and generally, if not hindered by company, like to go to rest by eleven. I ordinarily now rise by six, in summer: you will, perhaps, chuse to lie half an hour after me.
‘Then you will have some time you may call your own, till you invite me to breakfast with you: a little after nine.
‘Then again will you have several hours at your disposal, till three o’clock, when I shall like to sit down at table.
‘You will then have several useful hours more to employ yourself in, as you shall best like; and I would generally go to supper by nine.284 When we are resolved to stick to these old-fashioned rules, as near as we can, we shall induce our visitors to expect them from us. I have always observed, that it is in every one’s power to prescribe rules to himself. It is only standing a few ridiculous jests at first, and those from such, generally, as are not the most worthy of regard; and, after a while, they will say, “It signifies nothing to ask him: he will have his own way. There is no putting him out of his course. He is a regular piece of clock-work,” will they perhaps sneeringly add. And why should I not be so? For man is as frail a piece of machinery, and, by irregularity, is as subject to be disordered as a clock.
‘Then,’ continued he, ‘when my guests find themselves received, at my own hours, with an open countenance and chearful heart; when they see plenty and variety at my table, and meet a kind and hearty welcome, they will not grudge me my regularity. And who knows, my dear, but we may revive the good old-fashioned rules in our neighbourhood? At least, it will be doing our part towards it; and answering the good lesson I learned at school – Every one mend one.285 And the worst that can happen will be, that when some of my brother rakes, such as those who broke in upon us, so un-welcomely, last Thursday, are got out of their way, if that can ever be, and begin to consider, whom they shall go to dine with in their rambles, they will only say, “His dinner-time is over”; and so they’ll reserve me for another time, when they happen to suit it better; or, perhaps, they will take a supper and a bed with me instead of a dinner.’