Laughing at her stubbornness, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. You called me a nickname . . . ‘love’ of all things too.”
“You’re delusional. I think the hormones racing through your body must’ve affected your hearing,” she attempted to say with a straight face.
I started tickling her and she began squirming around underneath me, trying to control her laughter. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure your exact words were “’I want you . . . ’” She clamped her hand over my mouth so that I couldn’t say anything else, so naturally I licked her hand to get her to move it.
“Ewww . . . that’s gross,” she squealed as she pulled her hand back.
“I want you inside me love,” I managed to say in my version of a female voice before dying in laughter. She slapped my arm and I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her on top of me. “Say it again.”
“Say what again? That I want you inside of me?”
“Well, that’s not what I was talking about, but if you want to say that again, I can accommodate your wishes,” I teased.
She rolled her eyes and tried to act mad, but couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at her lips. “Come on love, let’s get out of bed. I need to shower and I’m hungry.”
As she climbed off of me, I swatted her ass and she squealed. “I need a shower and food too, ya know. God, what kind of hostess are you?”
“Well come on then, love.”
I sat up and watched her walk across the room naked. What a sight she was.
“Stop looking at me like I’m an animal at the zoo. Are you gonna take a shower with me or not?”
She needn’t ask twice; fuck yeah I wanted to take a shower with her. I wanted to do everything with her. I was up and out of the bed in seconds, following her to the bathroom. “Are you gonna cook me breakfast after we are all clean?”
“This isn’t a bed and breakfast,” she said laughing. “We can go get some food . . . and you some clothes.” She looked me up and down as I stood there just as naked as her. Our eyes met and I wanted to say it so bad, and I knew it wasn’t the time, but damn if I didn’t love her so much.
“I know . . . me too,” she said and then turned and walked into the adjoining bathroom.
MOVING IN DIFFERNENT DIRECTIONS
BUTTERFLY (SHE FLIES ALONE)—JOURNEY
LEGO HOUSE—ED SHEERAN
WHEN THE DRUGS DON’T WORK—BEN HARPER
SCARLETT
Over the next couple of weeks, Max and I worked our way into a comfortable routine. Classes were out for winter break, so we had quite a bit of free time around our part time work schedules. After that first incredible morning together, Ash expressed his concern that I needed space to heal from the breakup and that he wanted me to be sure that a relationship with him was what I wanted. I knew without a doubt what I wanted, but I agreed to take things slowly.
Max and I worked perfectly as roommates. Thankfully, there was never any awkwardness about what had happened between us because I wouldn’t have known what to do without him in my life. He made me talk about my feelings quite a bit, claiming that I needed to get it all out or I would allow it to get in the way of my happiness. We talked about Mason and how I felt about the breakup. Even though I did love Mase very much, our relationship wasn’t strong enough, or we just weren’t mature enough, for it to withstand the distance between us. Sure, there had been some miscommunication issues, but the fact was he was moving forward with his music and Jobu’s Rum and I was a twenty year old college student with a lot of growing up to do. Being my first love . . . my first relationship . . . my first everything really made him very special to me and I would always hold a special place in my heart for him. I didn’t begrudge him the decisions he made, and I truly wished him all of the happiness and success in the world. Maybe one day when he was rich and famous, I could say I knew him when.
Ash and I talked and texted every day, but true to his word, I only saw him a couple of times a week at first. He would take me out on dates—dinner, movies, we even went to a musical—and then afterwards we would go back to one of our houses and hang out with our respective roommates. Being with him was the most natural thing ever, I could just be me all the time. For better or worse, he knew everything about me, the good and the bad. And for the most part I knew everything about him. Sex with Ash was nothing short of spectacular. It was always different, sometimes it was slow and sweet love making while other times it was nothing more than hot and sweaty fucking. It was a given on the nights we spent together that we would, but he was also very spontaneous. Any time we got where we were at one of our houses alone, it became a game of what room he would pounce on me in.
Before I knew it, the week of Christmas was upon us and I was very excited because I was spending it with Ash’s family. Crys, Will, and the boys were flying in for the holiday, and I was looking forward to seeing them all again. My parents had gone on a Mediterranean cruise for two weeks and my brother and sister-in-law were going to visit her parents on the East coast, so my grandparents had decided to not have a big dinner. They had told me I was welcome to come to their house, but they understood if I had friends that I wanted to celebrate with. Jess and Meg had both gone to their parents’ homes so we used Ash’s house as the place for the festivities. His mom’s apartment could’ve worked, but there was much more space and the kitchen was much more functional at his house.
I spent Christmas Eve night with him helping clean up and prep the food. As we were standing in the kitchen cutting up veggies for the different casseroles, we talked about childhood memories of Christmas Eve’s and what not. Somehow we got on the discussion of our older siblings and as he was talking about Crys, a question that I was curious about for a long time popped in my head.
“Can I ask you something about while I was gone last year?” I asked, scared of what the answer was going to be.
“Of course, what’s up?”
“So I know that the day I came back and saw you at the bar, you were there with Crys, but what did you do while I was gone? I mean we’ve never really discussed those eight months . . .” I let my voice trail off, unsure of how he was gonna take the question.
“You mean who did I do while you were gone, right?” He stopped what he was doing and pushed the cutting board aside. He turned to look at me and raised his eyebrows, waiting for my response
The one bad thing about us knowing each other so well was he that he knew exactly what I meant when I asked something like that. I didn’t stop peeling the potatoes nor did I look up at him, instead I just nodded my head.
“Right after you left Scarlett, I was devastated. I didn’t leave my house much for a few weeks. I blamed myself, and rightfully so, for why you left. Soon thereafter, I went through my angry stage. I was mad at you for leaving, for running away and not letting me explain.
I thought that returning to the way I was before you, before I cared about anyone would help me get over you . . .”
I knew I had no right to be mad, but still hearing that he had gone back to that lifestyle pissed me off and I could feel my face getting hot. He took the two steps it took to get to me and grabbed my wrists, making me stop what I was doing. I looked down realizing I was destroying the potato with the peeler. I dropped both in the sink and turned my face to look at him. His face was serious but reassuring.
“Scarlett, after the first week or so of acting like a fucking jack ass, I stopped. I just couldn’t do it. You were all I could think of. I knew, I just knew that you’d come back or somehow we would end up back together, and I didn’t want to have this exact conversation with you. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me again. I swore that I’d never let you down again.”
“Really? So up until we were together the first time a few weeks ago, you hadn’t been with anyone since a few weeks after I left?” I found that pretty hard to believe.
“Yes, I know you are having problems believing that, but it’s the truth. Shortly after that everyt
hing happened with my parents and I got the new research assistant job. My life just got so crazy that I didn’t really have time to think about it. I mean don’t get me wrong, I watched a shit load of porn and took care of myself plenty, but I wasn’t with anyone else.”
I knew by the look on his face and the calming feeling in my stomach that he was telling the truth, and I relaxed my shoulders that I didn’t even realize were tensed up. “Okay, sorry, I just had to ask.”
“Anything, Butterfly, anything you ever want to know . . . you ask me. I don’t want there to ever be a problem between us because of miscommunication or assumptions.”
He let go of my wrists and stepped behind me pinning me in between his body and the sink. Sweeping all of my hair over one shoulder, he began kissing the exposed shoulder, moving his mouth tantalizingly slow toward my neck with kisses and light love bites. I closed my eyes and I moaned as his touch brought me wet panties instantly.
As he continued moving up my neck with his mouth, his hands grabbed and tilted my hips so that my ass was pressed up against his erection. “Do you know how sexy you are when you get jealous and possessive?” he growled in my ear. Fuck yes.
I shook my head no and closed my eyes. Not moving his hands off of my hips or his mouth off my throat, he began bunching my skirt up in his hands.
“Do you need me to remind you how important you are to me?” he grumbled.
His question reminded me of something Jesse Ward would’ve asked Ava. “You mean a reminder fuck?” I asked with a cheeky grin.
He chuckled at my sassiness. “Exactly like a reminder fuck.”
Not waiting for me to respond, I felt him release my right hip and I then heard his pants being unbuttoned and zipped. Not even bothering to take off my red lace panties, he pulled them to the side and plunged two fingers inside of me. “Ahh fuck, Scarlett, you’re drenched. You like thinking about me giving you reminder fucks, don’t you?”
He began rubbing my juices all around my entire swollen lips and throbbing clit. Instead of answering, I arched my back even more offering myself up to him. Seconds later, again without warning, he thrust his hard cock deep inside of me. I cried out with pleasure as he buried himself in me. With both hands holding my hips tight, he began pumping his cock in and out of me at an almost frantic pace. It didn’t take long at all for me to feel my orgasm coming on. The entire act was just incredibly fucking hot, and when he leaned into my ear and ordered me to cum, that was all it took. I exploded all over him, my pussy weeping with happiness. Moments later I felt his body tense up and his thumbs dig into my hip bones as he emptied his hot cum into me and cried out, “Fuuuuccckkk!”
His body slumped over onto me, and he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. Snuggling his face back into my neck, he whispered into my ear, “That’s your reminder that I love you. Always and Forever. You’re my Psyche and I’m your Eros.”
I knew he loved me, just like he knew that I loved him, but we had yet to start saying it to one another. If you would have asked me before if that’s how I wanted him to express his eternal love to me—leaned over the kitchen sink with his semi-hard cock still inside me, as the remnants of our reminder fuck began to run down my inner thigh, I would’ve laughed at you. But just like everything else with Ash and I, his saying I love you happened exactly it was supposed to, exactly the way it was supposed to.
“I love you too, Luv, but what happens if I forget again? Something like this?” I teased. “Cause if that’s the case I think I may have already forgotten again.”
“You little brat! I’m about to show you what a retribution fuck is . . .”
“Ooh, that sounds like fun too!” I wiggled my ass against him.
“Stop it, Scarlett,” he said laughing. “We need to get the rest of this stuff ready for tomorrow. Now come on, let’s go clean up real quick.”
The following morning I was woken up with a sweet ‘I love you’ love making session before we rolled out of his bed ready to attack the day. His family all arrived around three in the afternoon and I was so happy to see Crys again. We had begun chatting daily via texts just about life, and I considered her one of my good friends. The guys were in the living room watching some football game on TV, his mom was sitting on the floor playing a board game with Oscar and Evan soaking in her grandmother time with the adorable little blondies, and Crys and I were putting the finishing touches on the meal.
Just before we were going to sit down for dinner, I heard my phone ringing back in Ash’s room so I hurried back there to answer it. Being that it was Christmas day, I assumed that it was my parents or brother calling to wish me a happy holiday, so I didn’t think much about the long distance are code.
“Hello! Merry Christmas!” I answered cheerfully.
“Scarlett? Is that you?” a familiar male voice said on the other side of the line, but I couldn’t place it immediately.
“Yes . . . who is this?”
“It’s Cruz.” The minute he told me who it was my stomach sank and I began to grind my teeth. I wasn’t sure why he was calling, but it couldn’t have been for a good reason.
“I, uh . . . I don’t know how to say this . . .” he danced around whatever it was.
“Just say it. What’s going on Cruz?” I hadn’t seen nor heard from Mason in several weeks when we said goodbye at Mina’s wedding, but I had a bad feeling.
“Rat OD’d last night.”
MASON
I woke up the day after the wedding on the bathroom floor of Cruz and Sebastian’s apartment. I had no idea what I had done or how I had gotten there. I felt like I had been run over by a train—my head was pounding, my vision was blurry, my ribs were sore, and I had the worst case of cotton mouth ever. What in the fuck happened? I stumbled out into the living area where Cruz was playing video games and eating some cereal.
“Dude, what the fuck happened to me?” I asked him.
He looked up at me and shook his head. “You lost your damn mind last night, Rat. I don’t know what that girl did to you, but you need to get a hold of yourself before we leave.”
Just the mention of Scarlett brought all of the memories from the prior day to the surface. I still couldn’t believe it what had happened. I needed to talk to Bentley ASAP, I needed to ask about being reassigned to Jag, and I needed to tell that bitch to fuck off for good.
I managed to get myself together as much as possible and made my way to my apartment. After a shower and a cup of coffee, I began to feel about twenty-five percent drag so I decided to make the phone call. Instead of dealing with Bentley’s craziness, I called Jag direct and told him the situation. He agreed and told me that he would take care of his sister and that I didn’t need to worry about it again. I felt much better that issue had been resolved.
Despite feeling like complete dog shit that morning after partying the night before, I decided it was a good idea to party again that night with all the members of Vander Blue and their groupies. I called Sebastian to make sure he was bringing party favors for us to partake in, and then I got ready to go not give a fuck.
Once we left to go on tour, I thought that I would be able to straighten my act up a bit. I kept telling myself that my going out in Austin every night before we left was just my mini-farewell tour of sorts. However, the exact opposite happened. The women, alcohol, and drugs multiplied tenfold. Every day and night it was thrown in our fucking faces and after losing my Angel, I just wasn’t stable enough mentally or emotionally and I got lost in the easy, temporary fixes.
Christmas Eve night was particularly crazy. We had played a show in Miami the night before, and we were off on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to relax a bit before the European tour started. The boys and I decided to go see what all the fuss over Miami Beach’s party life was all about. Making sure that I had a nice feeling running through me before we got started, I grabbed a mirror and a straight edge to cut up a few lines of coke that Sebastian had gotten me the night before. Snorting a line in each nostril, I
took a deep breath and waited for the tingling feeling to creep up my nose, and then begin the slow drip in the back of my throat. Once I recognized the undeniable taste in my mouth, I wet my finger with my tongue, ran it across the mirror to pick up any leftover granules and then rubbed it on my gums.
Within minutes, I was alert and ready to go, hoping that I was headed out for a Christmas Eve night that I would never forget.
SAVED BY AN ANGEL
I WON’T LET YOU GO—JAMES MORRISON
THE GREAT ESCAPE—P!NK
SCARLETT
“What did you just say?” I asked Cruz, hoping I didn’t hear what I thought I did.
“It’s Mason, Scarlett,” his voice cracked. “He’s in ICU in critical condition here at the University of Miami hospital. They aren’t sure if he’s gonna make it. They said the next twenty four hours are crucial. I know it’s Christmas and all; I’m really sorry to have to make this call, I just thought you would want to know.”
“Of course I want to know. I’m on my way. What hotel are you staying in?” My mind begin racing on what all I needed to do to get there as soon as possible.
“We are at the Bentley Hotel South Beach.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Really? Of all the hotels, that’s where they were staying? “Let me guess, she booked that one . . .” I knew I shouldn’t be acting bitchy with the seriousness of what was going on, but damn if I didn’t despise that bitch.
“No, Scarlett. Rat fired her before we came on tour. Jag’s here with us.”
“Oh, okay” I didn’t have time to think about the implications of what that meant; I needed to get to Miami quickly. “Well, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know it’s Christmas,” he said. “I just wanted you to know.”
“No, I have to be there. I’ll call the airline as soon as I hang up with you. I’ll let you know when I get there.”