Chapter 10
Week eight of summer training had finally arrived. Avon was looking forward to a week of no PT. Yes, she was stronger, more muscular and her stamina had increased dramatically. Still a week of no early morning training would be like a vacation. The downside was a week of living off the land, a weeklong camping trip. It would be a week without creature comforts; no showers, no home cooked meals and most of all, no soft, comfortable bed or soaking tub.
With her strength training coming to an end, her speed training would begin after they returned from the camping trip. She was more confident of her abilities and was looking forward to running without a seventy-five pound rucksack on her back. Plus the day after their return was her twentieth birthday. Not only was she looking forward to the celebration but Jeremy had agreed to give her the whole day off from training. It would be the best birthday gift ever. Of course, her father being home would make it a perfect day. She pouted knowing it would not be a perfect day.
Avon turned away, quickly stifling the tears forming in her eyes. She would not let Jeremy see her cry. Instead, she checked her pack for the ninth time. She counted each pair of socks, rerolled every article of clothing and squeezed in an extra pair of shoes. She strapped her bed liner and blanket to the bottom and then added ten packets of U-rats. She smiled knowing her pack would be lighter on the trip home.
Avon grabbed both water bladders and filled them with water; enough for both her and Jeremy. Jeremy had divided the additional equipment between the two of them; equipment for fishing, cooking, and a tent in case of rain.
“Don’t forget the matches,” Jeremy called out for the tenth time.
"They're in my back pocket," Avon yelled back for the tenth time.
"Show me," Jeremy demanded. Avon pulled out the matches and waved them in the air. Jeremy grabbed them and shoved them into his pocket.
"You don't trust me," Avon snarled.
"I trust you," Jeremy chuckled. "But I'm not into sushi. I like my fish cooked."
"Are you really planning on us catching food to eat?" Avon asked sarcastically.
"Yepper," Jeremy replied. "I'm going to teach you how to search for all kinds of wild plant life we can eat. You may know about planting seeds in nice neat rows, but you need to know how to survive no matter where you are. We might even find a wild animal or two to kill and grill."
"Yuck," Avon grimaced. "I like my meat replicated. Me and the sight of blood don't get along too well."
"I've had to kill and clean an animal or two in my life," Jeremy chuckled, rolling his eyes. "It's a good skill to have. You never know when it will come in handy. Someday you'll be thankful for a little fire-roasted rat."
Avon had to suppress her gag reflex. Her dark olive complexion was turning green, pale green. Jeremy could only laugh. "Mark my word, one day you will be hungry enough to eat anything that scurries in front of you."
"I'll never be that hungry," Avon refuted with a shudder as Jeremy turned away and chuckled.
"You have your survival knife and your laser?"
"Armed and dangerous," Avon laughed.
"Is that dangerous to yourself or others?"
"Only to you," Avon retorted with a smile.
Minutes later all their gear was loaded into the General's vehicle. "I want to set up camp before dark," Jeremy explained. "However we will be hiking back at the end of the week."
Avon smiled. She was pleased she would not have to carry the full packs the five miles to the back of the property. Her father owned quite a bit of land with several miles of woods and a river on the back section. She felt a bit more secure knowing she would be in essence camping 'at home'. The transport quickly took them to the edge of the woods where they unloaded their gear and hiked in the remaining mile or so.
By the time they reached their final destination, Avon was tired. "Maybe I shouldn't have packed so much," she pondered aloud.
"You'll be glad you did," Jeremy chuckled. "It's your first time roughing it. You'll need to learn to survive on less though. There may be a time you'll have to really have to make it with nothing but the clothes on your back and a weapon. But that will come later. You'll learn basic survival next year at the Academy. This is just a precursor."
Avon had forgotten about the two-week survival course at the Academy. She would learn about surviving in all types of climates; hot, cold, water and even in a damaged battleship. She quickly pushed it from her mind. It was the last thing she wanted to think of.
Avon looked towards Jeremy, who was setting up the tent. "I've only brought one. It is big enough for the two of us. We should only need it if it rains though."
"What about wild animals?" Avon quickly gasped.
"A tent won't stop an animal if it's hell bent on attacking. Some aren't even deterred by a fire."
Avon started to panic. The thought of wild animals, insects, and even snakes frightened her. "I guess I'll start gathering firewood."
Avon walked towards the river. Stopping a few yards from the bank she looked around. The area felt familiar, but she couldn't discern why. Still she found it peaceful and relaxing. It was quiet except for the sound of the water and the birds chirping around her. It was almost too quiet.
Avon did not hear Jeremy walk up behind her. "This is a great spot for camping and fishing," Jeremy sighed softly. "Your father sent me the coordinates for this place. He told me he used to bring you here when you were little."
"I don't remember it," Avon whispered looking around again. "I don't remember any of it."
"He told me it was before you started school, so I guess you were probably about three or four," Jeremy revealed. "He said he had very fond memories of it."
"I wish I could remember," Avon said while trying to recall anything.
"I can't remember things from that age," Jeremy confessed. "My father died when I was only four. I don't remember him at all. I wish we could have had a spot like this to share."
"I'm sorry Captain Hanson," Avon replied sincerely.
Jeremy could tell she was sincere. "First names this week okay? We are a team and we need to be able to trust each other, depend on each other."
"Thank you, Jeremy," Avon stated awkwardly. "What do we need to do?"
"Let's set up the fire pit and get it ready. Then we can scout the area and do a little fishing. If we don't catch anything, we have U-rats for lunch."
"Yuck," Avon sneered.
"They'll keep us alive just like they're designed to do," Jeremy chuckled. "A fully balanced meal in a pouch. Be thankful. There are people out there who would kill for one of these."
"Was it really horrible? The way you grew up?" Avon asked. Her voice showed care and concern.
"It wasn't the greatest of lives. But I survived it. I had my mother and she loved me. She made sure I ate at least once a day, sometimes more. It wasn't easy."
"And look at you now," Avon replied with a closed lipped smile.
Jeremy inhaled deeply. His eyes showed his sadness, his loneliness. "But look at what I lost to get here."
Avon did not know how to respond. She had not experienced loss the way Jeremy had. She had not felt the pain of losing a parent. Her mother had died while she was still an infant. She tried to imagine the pain she would feel if she lost her father. She could begin to comprehend the depths of that kind of raw emotion. She wanted to console Jeremy. Not because she had any type of romantic feelings for him but because he was reliving some of the pain he could not shake. She could see how it weighed him down and prevented him from connecting with other people. He was a loner; afraid of loving and then losing love.
Avon knew loneliness first hand. Raised as an only child; schooled at home. She had been taught to be the perfect hostess. Sure there were the countless dinners and parties she attended with her father. But he had kept her sequestered most of her life. Her only friends were Cleo and Susan, who she only saw at y
et another military function. Even at the Academy she was alone; avoided by her classmates who either envied her or who were afraid because of whom her father was. She had never had a close relationship with anyone, male or female. Avon's closest relationship was with Iramy; her nanny. Iramy was as close to being a surrogate mother or friend Avon had.
Everything became clear to Avon. After spending eight weeks together, Jeremy was only her trainer, her commanding officer. In less than one month, she would be returning to the Academy and he would be on to his next assignment. Jeremy would not, could not show her any compassion. One - he would not put himself in a position which would jeopardize his career and two - he would not put himself in a position of being hurt again. He would never allow himself to be hurt again. Not that Avon wanted a romantic relationship but now she understood the barrier he had placed between them. This was a job, nothing more.
Avon looked at Jeremy. "I get it now," she nodded. "I'm sorry I was too busy wallowing in self-pity to think about you and what you were sent here to do. You told me once I was the sorriest excuse for an officer you had ever seen and you would shoot me rather than rely on me as part of your team. I would like for us to be a team. No more fighting you. I'm ready now. I get it."
Jeremy smiled. He had hoped the camping trip would not only be a break from the PT but teach Avon how to be a team player. She was ready mentally. He just hoped he was as well.
"I'd like us to have a least a little fun this week," Jeremy suggested. "I say we relax and just take it one day at a time, one meal at a time."
"Let's get the fire pit ready then," Avon nodded in agreement. "We can teach each other about wild edible plants and you can teach me how to fish."
"It's good you're not afraid of worms," Jeremy laughed. "Or getting your nails dirty."
"Get off the princess train already," Avon grumbled, stomping her foot. She could feel her hatred for Jeremy climbing exponentially with her blood pressure. She could feel her body shake with anger, her face turning red. "If I wouldn't get court-martialed, I tell you a thing or two about how I feel about it."
Jeremy's eyes lit up. His lips formed an upside down smile. His curiosity was piqued. "Let me have it," Jeremy stated staring Avon directly in the eye.
"No consequences?" Avon demanded with her hands firmly on her hips.
"No consequences," Jeremy replied. "I think it's time we clear the air."
Avon looked at Jeremy and the smirk on his face. It was just enough for her to believe she could reveal her thoughts, her feelings. She could feel her body relaxing, even if just a little, her lungs no longer tight and heavy. "Okay," Avon smiled. "Here goes."
Avon took a deep breath and let loose. "You're a power hungry control freak trying to use me as an end to your goals. You're too busy covering your own ass to care about anybody but yourself. You don't care about me or my feelings; my opinions are irrelevant. You think because you grew up in the slums and crawled your way out that the world owes you something; that I owe you something. Everything is someone else's fault; never yours. You're too busy projecting blame to take a look in the mirror and see you are the cause of some of your problems. You are the reason you don't have any friends. Maybe I am not the model ICE Cadet and maybe you have helped me to be a better one, but I'm still a human being with a heart and feelings. I am not a princess and I don't pretend to be one."
"Better?" Jeremy asked succinctly with a smirk of satisfaction on his face. Avon had spoken exactly what he thought she would; there were no surprises.
"A little," Avon sighed.
"But there was more?"
"Yes. But now I understand why you carry that giant chip on your shoulder. You've been hurt, hurt badly. You're human just like me and we both bleed red. I won't use the loss of your family against you. Even I'm not that cold and callous. I just hope someday, you'll let someone into your life and into your heart. I pray you'll learn to love again."
Jeremy's brows rose as his lips tightened. "That's a little harsh. But there is a lot of truth in your words. I won't pretend to be a fluffy bunny, but I'll try not to be so gruff. My life is not your fault. And yes I guess I am envious of how easy your life as been. But it's my problem, not yours. I'll try not to use you as my personal whipping post. I was wrong for doing that."
"Thank you."
Jeremy held out his hand as a gesture of friendship; a truce. Avon accepted it. "Now we are a team."
It didn't take long for newly declared teammates to set up the camp and the fire pit. Silently they worked speaking only when needed. When they had finished, both smiled. For the first time in eight weeks, the smiles reached their eyes. "It's hot today," Jeremy grimaced. "I'm thinking of taking a dip in the river before we start fishing. I need to cool off."
"I'll wait," Avon frowned.
"Don't you know how to swim?"
Avon was embarrassed and looked down to the ground. "No."
"Most people don't," Jeremy replied. "Learning to swim will be a part of your survival training. I'll go in first and see how deep it is. You can wade out."
"You're really going to go in there? Is it safe?"
"It doesn't look that bad. I don't see trash or anything which could hurt us. I hope you're not planning on going a whole week without bathing. That's just disgusting."
"I guess I didn't expect to sweat so much. I guess I didn't really think about it."
"Well, I'm going in. I have a pair of cut-offs. I'll change first. If you care to join me, just come on down," Jeremy suggested as he reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of sweat pants he had shortened. Once they were in his hand, he removed his shirt and his shoes. Avon found it hard not to stare. Jeremy was in prime condition. Avon could see the results of all the sit-ups and push-ups Jeremy did every day. His chest and abs were well defined. His arms were strong and muscular from lifting weights. It was the first time Avon had seen him without a shirt on and not covered in bubbles. Actually it was only the second time she had seen any man shirtless. Even at the Academy, co-ed classes prevented men to be shirtless or women to wear anything less than shorts and a shirt. And then if there was a chance the t-shirt could be ripped or removed, even by accident, the women were required to wear two t-shirts.
Jeremy tried to pretend he had not seen her reaction. While Avon was a very attractive woman, he was not romantically interested in her. Still he found her stares amusing. He hid his smirk as he walked away.
Avon stood alone in the camp trying to decide what to do. She was hot and dirty and just wanted to feel clean. Mentally she took inventory of the clothing in her pack. She didn't have anything she could repurpose for going into the river. Plus she was afraid of going into the water. She didn't know what to do. After several minutes, she walked towards the river bank.
"How deep is it?" Avon asked, stalling for time.
"There is a slight slope for several feet before it drops off. You will be able to wade in until it is about waist deep."
Avon was still afraid. Her eyes clearly declared her fear. "You don't trust me?" Jeremy asked. He was concerned when Avon did not answer immediately.
"I have to trust you," Avon finally replied. "But..." Avon could not finish.
Jeremy started swimming towards Avon. He stopped when he was able to stand. "Remove your shoes and your pants. Leave everything else on," he instructed. "Then start walking towards me. I won't let anything happen to you."
"Are you sure," Avon asked almost crying.
"I trust you to have my six, now you need to trust me."
Jeremy's statement of confidence gave Avon the resolve she needed. Deep down, she did trust him. She slipped off her shoes and socks. Turning her back to him, she removed her pants. She pulled her t-shirt down around her buttocks and turned around timidly.
Jeremy was slow in hiding his smile. Two months of eating properly and physical training had transformed Avon's body. She
was no longer a thin, anorexic girl. She had the curves of a woman. His smile caused her to be embarrassed.
Jeremy held out his arms as if inviting her into the river. "The water feels good," he smiled. "Just trust me."
"If I drown, I'll kill you," Avon snapped, trying to mask her fear. Slowly she walked to the water's edge. Placing her toes into the water she jumped back. "I thought you said the water was warm."
Jeremy laughed. "I said the water felt good and it does. Once you're in, it will feel warmer."
Avon pushed herself to enter the water. She tried not to hop around as she took another step. "It's cold," she grumbled. When she was a few steps from Jeremy, she stopped.
"I'm standing on the ledge," he advised her. "I'm going to step back to you can come in a little further. Keep your feet on the bottom so you can feel when to stop."
Jeremy stepped back and disappeared from the surface. He appeared a few seconds later a few yards from the edge. "Did you want to learn how to swim today?"
There was no pause from Avon. "No," she exclaimed immediately. "I'd rather learn in a pool where they can find my dead sunken body after I've drowned."
Jeremy laughed. "Well, if you change your mind, just let me know. I'm going to swim to the other side and back. Try not to die while I'm gone." Jeremy turned and after taking a deep breath he dove below. Resurfacing several feet later, he swam towards the other shore. Avon watched from her original stopping point afraid of going any further. A few minutes later Jeremy returned.
"You're a good swimmer," Avon stated as a compliment.
"I took full advantage of the pool during my summers at the Academy," Jeremy revealed. "It's a good way to work out. Swimming uses your entire body and it's less stressful on your bones; low impact exercising."
"Well, I've had enough low impact exercising for today," Avon grinned. "I'm out of here."
Jeremy stifled his laughter. "You go get into some dry clothes and I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm going to do another lap."
Avon watched as Jeremy dove back into the water. She turned and got out of the water as fast as she could. She grabbed the clothing she had left on the ground and ran back to the camp; shivering the entire way. Glancing at the fire pit, she frowned. All she wanted was to be warm again. But Jeremy had taken the matches from her. Knowing she had only minutes before he returned, she quickly pulled dry clothes out of her pack and got dressed. Reaching for her thermal blanket she wrapped it around her.
Jeremy slowly strolled into the camp site. "Cold?"
"Just a little and you have the matches," she managed with her teeth chattering.
"You will be warm in just a few minutes. Never waste firewood. And, by the way," Jeremy smiled, "You don't need matches to start a fire."
"What the frack?"
"You have your laser. You could have started the fire with it."
"Then why were you all over my ass this morning about not forgetting the matches?"
"I was just yanking your chain plus I needed to know I could trust you to remember to bring everything I had told you to."
Avon's jaw went tight. "It was a test?"
"Something like that."
"I really hate you sometimes," Avon sneered as she jumped up and stomped out of the camp. She could hear Jeremy laughing. After she had cooled down emotionally and warmed up physically, Avon returned to the camp.
"Where are your wet clothes?" Jeremy asked her.
"In my pack."
"You put your wet clothes in your pack with your clean, dry ones? Why would you do that?"
"I can't have you seeing my undergarments."
"Princ..." Jeremy started and abruptly stopped. "Avon, pull them out. Hang them on a tree limb or lay them in the grass in the clearing. You don't want them molding or ruining everything else. I know you are shy but ..."
"I get it," Avon barked out. "I'll hang them up when we go fishing."
"Well let's get to it then. However, they'll dry faster in the sun. Just saying."
Jeremy reached into his pack and pulled out two small foldable fishing poles. "Iramy found these in the bunker," Jeremy told Avon. "She showed me how to use them. This should be fun."
"What are they?"
"Fishing poles," Jeremy shrugged. "I've never done this before but I'm going to give it a try. I like fish and so do you. I even did a little research to find out how to clean the fish and cook them on an open fire."
"So you haven't done this before?" Avon asked.
Jeremy shook his head no. "How hard can it be?"
Avon started laughing hysterically. "Every time you ask 'how hard can it be' something terrible goes wrong; first with the rifle and then with the swords. I really wish you would quit jinxing yourself."
"Oops," Jeremy laughed as he started walking towards the river. "Come on. We'll figure this out together. Did you pack a first aid kit?"
"No regenerator," Avon advised. "Just some old fashioned bandages."
"It's going to be an interesting week."
Avon stood beside Jeremy looking out over the river again. "I still don't remember coming here with my father."
"He said it was before you started school. I don't remember anything from when I was that age. I wish I could. Then maybe I could remember my father."
Avon did not reply. She didn't know what to say. She reached out and took one for the small plastic fishing poles from Jeremy. "How do we use these?"
Jeremy took a few minutes and showed Avon what Iramy had showed him. She showed her how to cast and how to reel the line back in. "Iramy explained how to bait the hook. I'll find a few worms and we'll give it a try. Otherwise, it's U-Rats for lunch."
"This better work," Avon begged as she helped Jeremy dig into the ground. Finding a worm, she handed it to Jeremy. Jeremy took it from her and pushed one end of it onto the hook. It took a few tries, but he eventually wrapped the worm around the hook. Then he baited the hook for Avon.
After both hooks had been baited, Jeremy casted his line into the water. Avon attempted to cast but failed. "Try it again," Jeremy told her. Avon lifted her arm up and back but just as her arm started forwarded her thumb slipped and her line and hook went out and the hook landed in the grass behind her. "Well, if we were fishing for grass, you'd have the first catch of the day," Jeremy laughed. Jeremy handed her his pole and cast hers. "Now we wait."
"How do we know we've caught a fish?"
"You're supposed to feel the fish nibbling on the worm. When you do, you jerk back and hook the fish. Then you reel it in."
"Sounds simple enough."
Jeremy started laughing. "No jinx." Avon echoed his response.
After standing for a few minutes looking into the water, Avon sat down on the bank. Jeremy sat down with her. "Do you have any photos of your father?" Avon asked Jeremy.
"No."
"I don't have any photos of my mother either. My father never talks about her. I don't even know what she looked like."
"I bet you look like her. You don't look a thing like the General. Your skin is dark compared to his."
"True. Sometimes I think I'm adopted," Avon laughed jokingly. "When did your father die?"
"About twenty years ago. I don't know the date. I remember it was summertime because it was as hot as hell. I remember my mother crying for days, maybe weeks. Then one day she stopped crying. She packed us up and we moved to the slums."
Avon was about to ask how Jeremy's father died when Jeremy suddenly jumped up. "I think I caught something," he exclaimed, turning the crank on the reel. "It feels like a big one. It's fighting pretty hard."
"If it's big, then we have lunch," Avon called out excited. "I'm hungry."
Jeremy continued to reel in the fish. When the fish came out of the water, he cursed. "Damn this fish is small." Looking down at the fish, it was barely four inches long.
"We're going to need about a dozen if they're a
ll that small," Avon groaned. "I'm hungry," she repeated.
"This may take a while," Jeremy growled. "We're going to have to find some herbs or greens to make a meal. I saw a patch of dandelions and something which looked like wild onions."
"I thought you knew nothing about gardening," Avon smirked.
"I know about survival," Jeremy rebutted. "You'll learn about it this fall. It looks like you'll have a head start on your classmates. I'm also going to teach you about hunting, skinning and cooking wild animals."
"Yuck," Avon grimaced. "You know I like my meat from a replicator."
"When you're hungry, really hungry, a rat, rabbit or even a porcupine will look better than a t-bone steak."
"I don't think I'll ever be that hungry."
"Just wait," Jeremy replied with his brows raised. "Just wait."
It took another hour for Avon and Jeremy to catch enough fish to make a decent sized meal. Jeremy pulled out his knife and started cleaning the first fish. "Get over here and help," he demanded. "Or you don't eat."
"You're kidding, right?" Avon replied humorously, hopefully.
"No," Jeremy answered. "Now get over here and help me."
Avon pulled out her knife and slowly walked over to the rock where Jeremy was standing. "These don't have to be scaled," Jeremy explained showing the silky skin of several of the fish. "But these ones do. Use the side of your knife to scrape off the scales. Then we will gut them and cook them. I saw a flat rock we can use to put the skillet on."
"Can't I just forage for some dandelions?" Avon asked, still hopeful.
"No," Jeremy stated again. "Get to scaling."
"What kind of fish are these," Avon asked.
"The hell if I know," Jeremy laughed. "I'm just going to call them lunch."
It took longer than expected to clean all the fish. Jeremy showed Avon how to filet them and how to remove the bones and innards. After harvesting some dandelions and some wild onions, they started cooking their feast.
"It smells good," Avon had to admit. "Really good."
"The hungrier you are, the better it tastes."
"You ate rats back in the slums?" Avon asked.
"A few times, yes," Jeremy replied. "Rats aren't as common as you think in the slums. Everyone is fighting for food. The rat population is almost extinct in the slums; the same with pigeons. A lot of people ate them as well."
Avon tried the hide the look of disgust on her face. The thought of eating rats or pigeons was turning her stomach. Still she was curious and Jeremy was finally talking about his childhood, his past. "So what did you do for food?"
"My mother made sure we ate at least one good meal a day. She always came home with food, enough food to fill us both up each night."
"Sounds like she worked hard to make sure you ate every day."
"She did. She worked seven days a week. She worked long hours."
"You spent a lot of time alone?"
Jeremy looked at Avon who looked sad. "Don't feel sorry for me. My life may not have been as cozy as yours, but I know she did the best she could. She made sure I had people I could rely on for help. I learned to fight and protect myself. She taught me to read and ensured I had access to a port-a-com so I could get an education. There are no schools in the slums. Everyone is self-taught. She made sure I learned everything I would need to get into the Academy. She wanted me to leave the slums."
"Your life is remarkable. What you've done is remarkable," Avon smiled. "I had everything, food, tutors, everything and here you are teaching me how to be a better soldier."
"I'm not remarkable. I just wanted better for myself and for my mother. I wanted us to have an easier life. And it almost worked."
"I know you miss your mother," Avon whispered. "I think I would have liked her. She sounds like a strong woman. The type of woman I could only hope to be."
"She helped everyone. She was a giver, a nurturer. She made sure the elderly in our section were fed and had medical treatment. She made sure the infants had food; most of the time to our own detriment. Sometimes I resented her for it. I wanted so much for us to leave the slums. But we never did. And then when I was finally able to buy our way out, she was killed."
"And her murder turned your heart to stone?"
Jeremy looked down at the ground, staring at the fire, trying to hide his eyes. "She was the only woman I ever loved. She was my everything. My love turned to hate. My heart stopped beating. I'm not sure I will ever learn to open my heart to love a woman the way she would deserve to be loved. I'm not sure I could bestow the deep love you want to find with a man."
"That's sad," Avon whispered, fighting back her own tears. "I do pray you will find love. I do pray you find a way to feel again, to feel love and not hatred."
"I just don't know if it will ever happen," Jeremy replied sadly. "But thank you. Thank you for your prayers. I hope you find the love of your life as well."
"We both have plenty of time," Avon giggled, trying to lighten the mood. "I have three more years at the Academy and six years of obligatory service. And you my dear Captain need to get a few promotions under your belt."
Jeremy chuckled. "Looks like we both have a lonely decade in front of us."
"Damn, when you put it that way, it sounds like a lifetime."
"Let's eat," Jeremy suggested and ended the conversation of gloom and heartbreak.