stuck in another assignment under incompetent officers. Probably a fatal situation, then. Fine! Everyone knew it was a risky mission. This made it perfect. They would probably go down without a fight!
Jamie extended her right hand reluctantly, and the admiral started to do the same. The admiral hesitated. Jamie drew her hand partly back, then stopped and returned it, demanding the handshake. Jamie watched the admiral make up her mind and finally take her hand, as though it meant a lot more than it should. She squeezed the admiral's hand hard to see what she would do. For a second she did nothing but suffer the pressure, then she smiled and countered Jamie's force. More than countered it. The admiral was stronger than she looked.
/
Zakiya was relieved the handshake didn't seem to trigger the release of her daughter's hidden memories. She shouldn't have taken the chance but couldn't resist touching her daughter. Her daughter! If only she could stop staring at Jamie! If only her own memories would slow down and stop blinding her!
"Jamie Jones," Zakiya said, barely keeping her voice smooth. She was reluctant to release Jamie's hand, not wanting the wonderful contact with her own child to end. Jamie had such an interesting face, a face that reminded her of Alex! She had to find something to say that would cut off the emotions that were threatening to expose everything and make her weep. "You look like trouble," Zakiya commented. She knew Jamie was trouble - on many levels. How could she continue to function in her presence? "You've been out of the brig for almost five years. Are you overdue?"
/
Sort of a compliment, Jamie thought. Would Demba like something less than a compliment? "You've been out of Archives for less than a month. Are you over-achieving?"
/
"I apologize for the negative remark," Zakiya said. "I see you have an edge to you." She finally released Jamie's hand. She was relieved yet disappointed she was able to hold back the tears.
/
An admiral apologizing? Jamie wondered. Demba had been a line officer a long time ago. Jamie still studied the record by shiplink. Had Archives softened Demba that much? She was now unsure how to act. The presence of the injured child added to the confusion. She chose a small retreat. "I'm a Marine, sir, but that's no excuse for poor manners. I apologize."
/
"What do you think of her, Sammy?" Zakiya asked. Her compulsion to continue a conversation with her daughter dismayed her. She held Sammy by the shoulders, so that he faced Jamie. It was, of course, the wrong thing to ask Sammy. Zakiya could hardly think of anything safe to say. Why had Sammy got her into this situation?
"She doesn't look like you," Sammy answered.
Zakiya couldn't dare to stay on this topic. She had to stop talking to Sammy. She was also tempted to put her hand over Sammy's mouth if he opened it again.
/
Jamie was intrigued by this exchange. She stared thoughtfully at the admiral for a second. Demba wasn't as large as most female admirals. She wasn't imposing. She wasn't menacing. The strongest impression Jamie got from the woman was kindness. Kindness? Perhaps it was only for the child's benefit.
"Excuse me, sir, but are you talking about me?" Jamie asked.
/
Zakiya was momentarily concerned Jamie had reacted to her by experiencing a hidden memory. Her daughter must have her own hidden avalanche of memories, waiting to be released. "How do you feel, Lieutenant?"
"How do I feel?" Jamie queried the admiral's query.
"Psychologically."
"Why?"
"Never mind," Zakiya said, suppressing expression of her relief. "Carry on." Apparently she was not a key to Jamie's hidden memories. It was now time to retreat, before she lost control of her emotions, as she was sure would happen any second now.
"Aren't you-?" Sammy started to ask her and Zakiya did put a hand over his mouth.
/
Admiral Demba turned to leave with the child, oddly concerned with what he might say. Jamie felt a moment of near panic. She felt strangely compelled to continue this meeting with the Mission Commander and didn't understand why. "Wait, Admiral, please! Uh, Sammy isn't coming with us, is he?" Why did Jamie suspect that was the case? They were obviously not related but she could feel that a strong bond existed between them.
"Yes, he is."
The admiral paused, waiting for Jamie to respond. Jamie felt very slow-witted at the moment. The admiral's answer was unexpected and possibly a violation of regulations. She was missing something. She was probably missing everything. Speaking Twenglish invited errors in comprehension. These two might as well be citizens of another universe, as poorly as she understood them. Why the hell would she be taking a child on this mission?
"Why?" Jamie finally asked.
/
"Sammy has no one but me to care for him." Zakiya still stared too much at Jamie. This conversation was becoming torture for her, the yearning for her daughter was so intense!
/
I must seem interesting to Demba in some odd way, Jamie thought. It wasn't the same way that her superior officers usually stared at her - as a burden to their command. The ancient Navy expression loose cannon came to mind.
"I'm told this will be a dangerous mission," Jamie said meaningfully. The admiral said nothing to deny the fact. She just stared at her. Jamie didn't like being stared at. She took a deep breath, preparing to injure her career once more. "I can't abide endangering a child, Admiral."
"That sounds like an ultimatum, Lieutenant."
"I am the Chief of Security on this ship, Admiral. His safety concerns me. Can't you leave him with someone else?" The admiral showed no negative reaction to this insubordination.
/
Zakiya held her gaze on Jamie, as she asked: "Do you want to stay behind, Sammy?"
"No! I want to go with you!"
/
"He's not responsible for making such a decision, Admiral!" Jamie objected. "You are!"
Sammy looked up at the admiral and she looked down at him. Jamie Jones went down on one knee in order to look up at both of them. She was shocked at herself for the intensity of her feelings. But the child was - a child! It was unthinkable to bring a child on this mission!
"You must agree that it's safer not to be on this ship!" Jamie said boldly. "Otherwise, I don't see how I can have any confidence in your ability to command the mission."
A moment of silence stretched to an awkward length, with the admiral merely gazing at her - still not angry with her, perhaps even approving of her argument. The admiral should know she had no confidence in her now but she seemed oblivious to such analysis.
Jamie finally sat down on the floor, right in front of the admiral. All of the other people in the gym had taken an interest in the confrontation. Jamie looked around at them, frowning, then looked up at the admiral, challenging the woman. The admiral must be waiting to see how far she would go. The boy... It wasn't hard to imagine that even an admiral could want a child of her own, and could be so selfish that she would do anything to get a child and keep him. She should feel sorry for them both.
"I don't understand why you aren't reprimanding me or calling for my arrest," Jamie said. "Even that is disappointing to me! You don't seem to care about this child, and by extrapolation, the mission. You'll have my formal resignation on your desk as soon as I can do it." She got up from the floor, saluted, and started to walk away.
/
"I won't accept your resignation," Zakiya said. There was no way Zakiya could leave Jamie behind!
/
Jamie halted and turned around. Admirals didn't impress her. She cared little whether she retained her rank or spent time in the brig. Most of her concern was with a lack of meaning in her life. That was why she had welcomed this assignment. It was a chance to die, or to at least find excitement. But this admiral bothered her beyond what she could have believed possible. She could hardly contain her impatience.
"Why not?" Jamie demanded.
"Who would replace you, Lieutenant?" the admiral asked. "Would th
ey do the job as well as you?"
"I'm the best you can get," Jamie answered, knowing she wasn't being prideful, "despite what my record implies, Admiral." Judging from what she saw of much of the crew, Jamie could understand the admiral's reluctance to lose even such a troublemaker as herself.
/
"I believe what you claim," Zakiya said, feeling a mother's pride in how her daughter spoke. "Stay and help me protect Sammy. I'm pleased with your concern for his safety. I know I'm putting him at risk. But I believe he will be safer aboard this ship than elsewhere."
/
"How can he be, Admiral?" Jamie demanded, puzzled with how this encounter was going. This was a veteran admiral, and a woman of compelling beauty, whose manner seemed totally untouched by the Navy way of life. She was a too-kind person!
/
"There is a fantastic story that answers your question," Zakiya answered, "and you will never hear it if you abandon the mission. Sammy stays with me."
/
Jamie Jones was stubborn. She also knew she was correct. Yet, it took only an instant to reverse her course. She had not been that serious when she had threatened to resign from the mission, although it was a mistake just to make the threat. She wanted to be on this ship! It was taking too long otherwise to die in the Marine Corps. Fantastic story?
"Tell me, Admiral," she ordered an admiral. "I'm staying."
"In time," Demba said in a calm, carefully controlled manner, completely ignoring Jamie's challenge to her authority.
It's almost as if Demba is speaking to me the way she would speak to a misbehaving child, Jamie thought. Demba should