addressed the crew of the Freedom, trying to be informative without causing too much anxiety.
While the ship's personnel began to implement emergency procedures, Aylis tried to explain to Iggy and Wingren what was wrong with Zakiya as they followed her across the village square toward the hospital. They entered the hospital amid the final rush of emergency preparations.
Zakiya stopped and pivoted in the main entrance foyer, seeking a direction, oblivious to the people who scurried around her. She moved forward, followed by Aylis. In only a few seconds, most of the hospital personnel had disappeared to pre-assigned locations.
"Zakiya! Admiral Demba!"
/
Iggy looked back at the hospital entrance and saw Koji. He sensed the man's aggressive mood in the tension of his body. He also saw there was no Marine to accompany him, all of them having been posted to critical points about the ship. Koji strode toward them and Iggy moved to block his path to Zakiya.
/
Zakiya again tried to disengage from the emotional emanations of the little machine stuck to the back of her neck. She touched Iggy to urge him to step aside. She appraised Koji's demeanor and worried that she had misjudged him. He didn't seem to threaten her physically although he was clearly upset. She didn't want to put off the search for Shorty but knew she also needed to respond to Koji.
"I demand to see Setek!" Koji stated.
"Setek has been retired," Zakiya said. "Aylis decided he couldn't be trusted and was not useful."
"What right have you?" Koji demanded, turning to Aylis.
"You once claimed you were not alive," Aylis said. "Neither was Setek. I stopped him and stored him away. Someday I'll try again to make him alive and whole."
"I warn you, Koji," Zakiya said. "We installed in you and in the others a device to make you unconscious through our shiplink. It was a further precaution against violent behavior."
"Retire me then!" Koji demanded. "Before I hurt someone."
"We don't think you're as damaged as Alex and Setek," Aylis said.
"I must be! I have slaughtered hundreds! I still see their dead young faces. When you retire Alex, what will I do?"
"You will retrieve him, Koji," Aylis answered. "Someday you will help us save him."
"And what of the barbarians?"
"There are too many innocent people who would die in such a war, if we could even fight that war," Zakiya replied.
"Your sentiment will allow civilization to fall!"
"Then it will fall! Why should a handful of people be responsible for the fate of billions?"
"Because people are imperfect! They need help!"
"Are we so perfect, that we should assume that task?"
/
Koji became still and thoughtful. He seemed to relax slightly. Iggy could see that Zakiya appeared unready to react to whatever Koji might do. He was worried enough to quietly nudge Wingren farther away from Koji. Then Koji reacted to someone behind Zakiya. Iggy looked past her to the hospital entrance. Alexandros Gerakis approached the hospital, and he was not happy.
"It's him," Aylis said to Zakiya.
/
Zakiya stood with Koji in front of her and Alex approaching behind her. She assumed Koji was now telepathically telling Alex what his fate would be. She still felt the pain and sadness transmitted to her by the little gem-like piece of Shorty. She also wondered about the alien starship that might be about to visit them. She was too divided by all that was happening at once.
"I can't participate in this any longer!" Zakiya shouted. The urge to find Shorty took priority. She moved away.
Alex entered the hospital foyer and rushed to follow Zakiya.
"It's over," Koji said to Alex, stepping into his path. "Leave her alone! She will never trust you! She will never trust me! You will never have the ship!"
Alex pushed past Koji and Koji hooked his arm to stop him. Koji and Alex stood close to each other, their bodies tensed for combat. Zakiya paused and shuddered at imagining what violence they could perform. She made up her mind, knowing she would always be a fool about Alex.
"Please," she said to Koji. "Let him follow me."
"He has no good reason to do that!" Koji argued. "And no moral right!"
"She's all I have, Koji!" Alex pleaded.
Zakiya walked away. Koji released Alex.
It is too complex, she thought, what I need to do and how I feel. Keshona has faded as a separate part of me. Ruby Reed, Fidelity Demba, even Zakiya Muenda, are merged into this confused person who is searching for something that is in pain. I am followed by a lost man I can't find. I don't know why he wants to follow me. I don't know why I should have allowed him. Hope refuses to die. Heartbreak refuses to stop. My memories of the original Alex are too potent, yet I must give them up. I must give him up!
"Where do we go?" he asked.
"I don't know," she answered.
"What will you do?"
"I don't know."
"What do you want?"
"I want to be loved!" she answered truthfully.
"Is that the right thing to want at this time?"
"It's always the right thing to want!"
"And nothing else?"
"Be careful what you want beyond love."
"The truth is that I can't give you real love," Alex said. "I'm sorry."
"As old as I am, I can still dream," she said. "Why do you follow me?"
"What else could you suggest I do? You are my only hope. With your help, with enough time and planning, we can defeat the barbarian Fleet."
"Possibly," she answered. "But they are not the only enemy."
"Do you refer to the Lady in the Mirror? She seems limited to me."
"We don't know enough about her. All I can say is, until you have been in her presence, you can't imagine her power and insanity."
Why do I tolerate Alex's sad and flawed presence? I have no answer for that. I must try to ignore him. I must concentrate on feeling the direction of Shorty, hoping Alex will not take advantage of my distraction.
They eventually reached an isolated part of the hospital where they entered a room with a wall containing several horizontal doors. Sugai Mai stood waiting for them, her arms cradling her swollen abdomen.
/
"This is the morgue!" Alex said in realization. "Good evening, Dr. Sugai."
"Good evening, sir," Mai responded with concern. "I thought Zakiya might need help finding Sammy's body."
"His body?" Zakiya said. "I don't think I could bear to see it. But this is where I feel Shorty must be."
/
"Shorty?" Alex asked. He remembered a description of the dangerous amorphous alien, the gatekeeper. It would be fascinating to encounter a creature of such awe to the barbarians. He watched Zakiya edge along the wall of metal doors, behind which he knew the corpses of nine barbarians and a small boy lay in storage. She drew the fingers of one hand across the surfaces of the doors, stopping at the one at the far end.
"That's where Sammy is," Dr. Sugai said. "Shall I bring him out?"
Zakiya placed her hand at various points around the door at the far end. She leaned against the cold metal as though fatigued by misery. Mai waited. Alex grew tense and impatient, yet he began to imagine some of the pain his wife obviously felt.
"Please bring him out, Mai," Zakiya finally said. She moved away and leaned against the adjacent wall.
Dr. Sugai activated the retrieval process. In a few moments the horizontal door opened silently and the body was brought forth, as its resting place extruded from the opening.
Alex looked at Sammy briefly, curious to see the child who had so profoundly affected Zakiya. Except for the mixture of parentage, the slackness of death had removed any hint of character he might have had. Alex stepped back, disappointed and vaguely upset. He had seen many children in barbarian space and never failed to worry at what dismal futures they could have - especially if they became members of the Fleet. This child had lost his future.
"Please leave
us, Mai," Zakiya asked.
Dr. Sugai departed the room slowly, glancing worriedly at Zakiya and with a different expression for Alex. The look wounded him unexpectedly. He knew Zakiya had asked her to leave so the pregnant doctor would be safe and this also upset him. He would never have harmed her!
Zakiya didn't move until Sugai Mai left. She edged toward the small body, not looking at it directly. She stood for several moments with her hand on the table but her eyes on the adjacent wall.
"He's quite intact," Alex said. "Don't be afraid to look at him." He almost realized this was insensitive before he said it. He had still not gained a proper understanding of this remarkable woman. He might never gain it.
Zakiya turned and centered herself on the table, her eyes closed. She placed both hands on the table edge. She opened her eyes. She trembled.
"What is that?" Alex asked, seeing a small black pyramid appear between Zakiya's hands.
Zakiya blinked her eyes and stared at the sparkling dark shape. She felt behind her neck with one hand, then held that hand over the pyramid. A tiny red object fell from her hand and was attracted to the pyramid. The black pyramid enveloped the red piece then lost its geometry, appearing to melt into a small pool that no longer moved.
"Shorty?" Zakiya said. "Is this you? Where is the rest of you?"
"It looks inert," Alex commented.
"No! I don't want that!"
Zakiya placed her hands around the dark pool of matter and tried to gather it up. She cried out in pain but kept touching the dark material. In a few seconds it disappeared somewhere. Alex caught her hands as she turned around and he saw burn marks. She would soon have blisters.
"You're injured," he said. "The thing attacked you!"
Zakiya couldn't speak for several moments while