LETTER XXIX
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SATURDAY, MARCH 11.
I have had such taunting messages, and such repeated avowals of illoffices, brought me from my brother and sister, if I do no comply withtheir wills, (delivered, too, with provoking sauciness by Betty Barnes,)that I have thought it proper, before I entered upon my intended addressto my uncles, in pursuance of the hint given me in my mother's letter,to expostulate a little with them. But I have done it in such a manner,as will give you (if you please to take it as you have done some partsof my former letters) great advantage over me. In short, you will havemore cause than ever, to declare me far gone in love, if my reasons forthe change of my style in these letters, with regard to Mr. Lovelace, donot engage your more favourable opinion.--For I have thought proper togive them their own way: and, since they will have it, that I have apreferable regard for Mr. Lovelace, I give them cause rather to confirmtheir opinion than doubt it.
These are my reasons in brief, for the alteration of my style.
In the first place, they have grounded their principal argument for mycompliance with their will, upon my acknowledgement that my heart isfree; and so, supposing I give up no preferable person, my oppositionhas the look of downright obstinacy in their eyes; and they argue,that at worst, my aversion to Solmes is an aversion that may be easilysurmounted, and ought to be surmounted in duty to my father, and for thepromotion of family views.
Next, although they build upon this argument in order to silence me,they seem not to believe me, but treat me as disgracefully, as if Iwere in love with one of my father's footmen: so that my conditionalwillingness to give up Mr. Lovelace has procured me no favour.
In the next place, I cannot but think, that my brother's antipathyto Mr. Lovelace is far from being well grounded: the man's inordinatepassion for the sex is the crime that is always rung in my ears: and avery great one it is: But, does my brother recriminate upon him thusin love to me?--No--his whole behaviour shews me, that that is nothis principal motive, and that he thinks me rather in his way thanotherwise.
It is then the call of justice, as I may say, to speak a little infavour of a man, who, although provoked by my brother, did not dohim all the mischief he could have done him, and which my brother hadendeavoured to do him. It might not be amiss therefore, I thought, toalarm them a little with apprehension, that the methods they are takingwith me are the very reverse of those they should take to answer the endthey design by them. And after all, what is the compliment I make Mr.Lovelace, if I allow it to be thought that I do really prefer him tosuch a man as him they terrify me with? Then, my Miss Howe [concluded I]accuses me of a tameness which subject me to insults from my brother: Iwill keep that dear friend in my eye; and for all these considerations,try what a little of her spirit will do--sit it ever so awkwardly uponme.
In this way of thinking, I wrote to my brother and sister. This is myletter to him.