CHAPTER XVIII

  A SECOND TRIP TO THE MOON.

  _A second visit (but an accidental one) to the moon--The ship driven bya whirlwind a thousand leagues above the surface of the water, where anew atmosphere meets them and carries them into a capacious harbour inthe moon--A description of the inhabitants, and their manner of cominginto the lunarian world--Animals, customs, weapons of war, wine,vegetables, &c._

  I have already informed you of one trip I made to the moon, in searchof my silver hatchet; I afterwards made another in a much pleasantermanner, and stayed in it long enough to take notice of several things,which I will endeavour to describe as accurately as my memory willpermit.

  I went on a voyage of discovery at the request of a distant relation,who had a strange notion that there were people to be found equal inmagnitude to those described by Gulliver in the empire of BROBDIGNAG.For my part I always treated that account as fabulous: however, tooblige him, for he had made me his heir, I undertook it, and sailedfor the South seas, where we arrived without meeting with anythingremarkable, except some flying men and women who were playing atleap-frog, and dancing minuets in the air.

  On the eighteenth day after we had passed the Island of Otaheite,mentioned by Captain Cook as the place from whence they brought Omai, ahurricane blew our ship at least one thousand leagues above the surfaceof the water, and kept it at the height till a fresh gale arising filledthe sails in every part, and onwards we travelled at a prodigious rate;thus we proceeded above the clouds for six weeks. At last we discovereda great land in the sky, like a shining island, round and bright, where,coming into a convenient harbour, we went on shore, and soon found itwas inhabited. Below us we saw another earth, containing cities, trees,mountains, rivers, seas, &c., which we conjectured was this worldwhich we had left. Here we saw huge figures riding upon vultures of aprodigious size, and each of them having three heads. To form some ideaof the magnitude of these birds, I must inform you that each of theirwings is as wide and six times the length of the main sheet of ourvessel, which was about six hundred tons burthen. Thus, instead ofriding upon horses, as we do in this world, the inhabitants of the moon(for we now found we were in Madam Luna) fly about on these birds. Theking, we found, was engaged in a war with the sun, and he offered mea commission, but I declined the honour his majesty intended me.Everything in _this_ world is of extraordinary magnitude! a common fleabeing much larger than one of our sheep: in making war, their principalweapons are radishes, which are used as darts: those who are woundedby them die immediately. Their shields are made of mushrooms, and theirdarts (when radishes are out of season) of the tops of asparagus. Someof the natives of the dog-star are to be seen here; commerce tempts themto ramble; their faces are like large mastiffs', with their eyes nearthe lower end or tip of their noses: they have no eyelids, but covertheir eyes with the end of their tongues when they go to sleep; they aregenerally twenty feet high. As to the natives of the moon, none of themare less in stature than thirty-six feet: they are not called the humanspecies, but the cooking animals, for they all dress their food by fire,as we do, but lose not time at their meals, as they open their leftside, and place the whole quantity at once in their stomach, then shutit again till the same day in the next month; for they never indulgethemselves with food more than twelve times a year, or once a month. Allbut gluttons and epicures must prefer this method to ours.

  There is but one sex either of the cooking or any other animals in themoon; they are all produced from trees of various sizes and foliage;that which produces the cooking animal, or human species, is much morebeautiful than any of the others; it has large straight boughs andflesh-coloured leaves, and the fruit it produces are nuts or pods, withhard shells at least two yards long; when they become ripe, which isknown from their changing colour, they are gathered with great care, andlaid by as long as they think proper: when they choose to animate theseed of these nuts, they throw them into a large cauldron of boilingwater, which opens the shells in a few hours, and out jumps thecreature.

  Nature forms their minds for different pursuits before they comeinto the world; from one shell comes forth a warrior, from another aphilosopher, from a third a divine, from a fourth a lawyer, from a fiftha farmer, from a sixth a clown, &c. &c., and each of them immediatelybegins to perfect themselves, by practising what they before knew onlyin theory.

  When they grow old they do not die, but turn into air, and dissolve likesmoke! As for their drink, they need none; the only evacuations theyhave are insensible, and by their breath. They have but one finger uponeach hand, with which they perform everything in as perfect a manneras we do who have four besides the thumb. Their heads are placed undertheir right arm, and when are going to travel, or about any violentexercise, they generally leave them at home, for they can consult themat any distance; this is a very common practice; and when those of rankor quality among the Lunarians have an inclination to see what's goingforward among the common people, they stay at home, _i.e._, the bodystays at home, and sends the head only, which is suffered to be present_incog._, and return at pleasure with an account of what has passed.

  The stones of their grapes are exactly like hail; and I am perfectlysatisfied that when a storm or high wind in the moon shakes their vines,and breaks the grapes from the stalks, the stones fall down and formour hail showers. I would advise those who are of my opinion to save aquantity of these stones when it hails next, and make Lunarian wine. Itis a common beverage at St. Luke's. Some material circumstances I hadnearly omitted. They put their bellies to the same use as we do a sack,and throw whatever they have occasion for into it, for they can shut andopen it again when they please, as they do their stomachs; they are nottroubled with bowels, liver, heart, or any other intestines, neitherare they encumbered with clothes, nor is there any part of their bodiesunseemly or indecent to exhibit.

  Their eyes they can take in and out of their places when they please,and can see as well with them in their hand as in their head! and ifby any accident they lose or damage one, they can borrow or purchaseanother, and see as clearly with it as their own. Dealers in eyes areon that account very numerous in most parts of the moon, and in thisarticle alone all the inhabitants are whimsical: sometimes green andsometimes yellow eyes are the fashion. I know these things appearstrange; but if the shadow of a doubt can remain on any person's mind,I say, let him take a voyage there himself, and then he will know I am atraveller of veracity.