Covering my mouth with my hand, I felt sick. Tristan saw Dodge fucking me. That was probably one of the rawest moments we had been together and I had loved every minute of it. Except for when I would close my eyes and wish it was Tristan I was with.
Oh God. Tristan saw us.
“Ryn, looking in from the outside, a stranger would think that Dodge hung the moon for you and you feel the same.”
Shaking my head, I felt the threat of tears. “No,” I whispered. “I mean I care about him, but we were just . . .”
Looking away, I inhaled a deep breath. This is why I needed time on my own. No men, no meaningless fucking, no nothing.
Turning back to Sierra, I gave her a fake smile. “Thank you for telling me, Sierra. It helps to connect a few of the missing dots.”
“Ryn, there are more missing dots. Talk to Tristan and decide once and for all if Dodge is more than what you say he is.”
Nodding my head, I gave her a quick hug good-bye. “Have a good day at work, Sierra. I’ll plan that spa weekend.”
Turning, I walked away as fast as I could back toward my house. I tried to make sense out of the week and a half I spent with Tristan. Was that why he was pulling back every time he attempted to get close to me? Was it because he saw Dodge and I together? What did Sierra mean when she said Tristan got spooked last Christmas? Shit! She was about to tell me when Dodge walked up. Double damn it.
Walking into my house, I looked around. I felt like I was in a cage and had no idea how to get out. My heart hurt, my head was confused and I was scared to death that Tristan would end up hurting me again if I was to let him back in.
My cell phone pinged and I pulled it out.
Dodge: Was great seeing you. Maybe we can do lunch soon?
Ugh! Why is Dodge not giving me the space I asked for? Why isn’t it Tristan pursuing me like this? Maybe Sierra was wrong.
Looking back down at Dodge’s message, I deleted it.
“Damn it! I hate you, Tristan! I hate you for making me fall in love with you.” My mind was still racing and I had no idea how to make it stop.
Walking into my bedroom, I pulled out a suitcase and packed it up. I needed to get away for a few days.
I needed a few days away from anything that reminded me of Tristan and Dodge.
SITTING AT MY DESK, I pulled in a deep frustrated breath. I stared at the report on my computer and willed myself to finish it. I worked for a semiconductor company as an engineer, and the amount of stress I had with this job was unreal. I hated my job before I was promoted, and now I hated it even more.
Scrubbing my hands down my face, I picked up my cell phone and scrolled down until I found the number I was looking for.
Me: I need something to relieve stress.
It wasn’t even thirty seconds and she was texting me back.
Sierra: Sorry dude. Been there and done that. You’re on your own with this one.
Laughing, I shook my head and hit call.
Glancing up through the window in my office, I could see everyone working. Rolling my eyes, I turned my chair away.
“No matter how much you sweet talk me, Williams, the answer is still no.”
“Why does everything to you mean sex, Sierra?”
“Um . . . because you’re a guy. Everything to a guy revolves around sex.”
The knock on my office door caused me to spin around and look. Tim, my boss was standing there mouthing, lunch?
Shaking my head, I pointed to the monitor and mouthed, report running. Talking into my cellphone I said, “Not true.”
“Yeah it is.”
Tim gave me a head nod, and turned away. Standing up, I walked and shut my office door.
“What if I said I just wanted to go get dinner and have a couple of drinks? Would that be so bad? Besides, we already did the sex thing, Sierra. I thought we were good with that?”
“Oh we are, but when you text me saying you’re stressed and need relief, what in the hell am I suppose to say to that?”
Letting out a small chuckle, I shook my head.
“Point taken. All future text messages will be better thought out. Now can we get dinner and a drink?”
Silence.
“Sierra?”
“Oh sorry. Yeah, dinner and a drink sounds good. Where?”
“I’ll let you pick. Text me around six, I should be out of this hell hole by then.”
Giggling, Sierra said, “Sounds good. Talk to you soon.”
“Later, Sierra.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon in one meeting after another. I hated this. I was a hands-on kind of guy. I loved taking shit apart and trying to figure out what was wrong with it. This sitting behind a desk shit was for the birds. Maybe I’ll take a few extra days off and head down to Mom and Dad’s early for Christmas.
My cell phone buzzed during the meeting. Looking down, I saw Sierra’s message scrolling across my phone.
Sierra: Bess Bistro at six thirty.
Groaning, I rolled my eyes. The upper-level manager of the company I worked for glanced in my direction. Smiling, I held up my phone and he gave me a head nod. He probably thought it was a problem in the fab with one of the tools.
Hitting reply, I typed out my message.
Me: Fuck no. I am not going to that restaurant.
Sierra: You said it was my pick! I pick Bess Bistro.
Me: After our Sandra Bullock marathon the other night I know why you are picking it. No. It’s a chick restaurant.
Sierra: There is no such thing as a “chick restaurant” you pussy.
Me: I hate you.
Sierra: Now now. No sweet-talking me, Mr. Williams. I’m just happy with you paying for dinner tonight. Kisses!
How in the hell did she do that? Dropping my phone back down on to the table, I tried to keep my anger in check. Damn Sierra. Looking over at my boss, he mouthed everything okay? Nodding my head, I gave him my fake smile, letting him know all was well.
This is why you don’t have chicks for friends.
Sierra was standing on the rooftop terrace looking out over the city when I walked out there. Making my way over to her, I stopped in my tracks when I heard my name being called out. Turning, I saw Dodge. I quickly began looking for Ryn. Dodge stood up and smiled and he made his way over to me as he reached out his hand to mine. “Don’t panic, Tristan. She isn’t with me. Ryn ended things between us a few weeks back.”
My heart soared and I tried like hell not to seem happy. “I um, I’m sorry to hear that.”
Dodge laughed. “No, no you aren’t. What brings you here? Somehow I don’t see you as a Bess Bistro kind of guy.”
Chuckling, I turned and pointed to Sierra. “I left it up to her to pick.”
Dodge’s smile faded for one quick second. “Sierra? Are y’all? I mean are you two?”
“Fuck no! Sierra is just a friend.”
“Really? Y’all seemed to be pretty close in South Padre and Ryn told me she saw . . .” Holding up his hands he said, “You know what, it’s none of my business and I have no right even asking.”
Looking back at Dodge, I had a brief moment of actually liking him. He seemed like a stand-up kind of guy and I appreciated him not talking shit. “Sierra and I hooked up once while we were at the beach, but it was more of a fuckfest, for lack of better words.”
Dodge turned and looked at Sierra again. “She sure is beautiful, I’m not going to lie.”
“Inside and out. She’s going through a pretty rough time right now. Her ex-husband cheated on her and now he is being a dick about their divorce. I think the asshole is dragging it out because he is pissed she actually left him.”
“Why in the hell would he cheat?” Turning, I watched closely as Dodge continued to stare at Sierra.
“Worse part was he cheated on her with her own best friend.”
Looking back at me, Dodge seemed to snap out of his temporary trance. “Damn.”
“That night in the club was my way of getting Sierra to rela
x a little. I hated Ryn saw it and thought it was something more than it was.”
Dodge stared into my eyes as he narrowed his. “You hurt her really bad, Tristan. I’m not sure if you know just how bad you hurt her.”
Swallowing hard, I looked away. I didn’t need Ryn’s fuck buddy telling me what I did to her. “Yeah, I know.” Turning back, I asked, “Are you in love with her?”
He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “I’m not sure. I know I care about her. I want to see her happy. I think if given the chance, I would make her happy.” He looked down and chuckled before looking back up at me. “The problem is she loves you.”
My heart dropped and it felt like the Earth wobbled for a second. “She doesn’t know the real me, Dodge. I have . . . secrets.”
“We all have secrets, Tristan.”
“Hey, looks like you two are in a serious conversation.” Sierra walked up to both of us and looked at me and then Dodge. “Dodge, we have to keep running into each other like this. It’s kind of fun. Care to wager on where we will run into each other next?”
Dodge laughed. “How are you, Sierra? I didn’t even see you walk up here.”
Sierra looked behind Dodge. It was the first time I noticed a girl sitting at the table Dodge had been sitting at. She had short brown hair and looked to be about twenty-two or so.
Sierra turned to Dodge. “New friend you got there, Dodge?” Staring at Sierra, Dodge shook his head. “What’s that suppose to mean?”
Sierra paused for a moment before she lifted her hand loosely. “I don’t know. Ryn said you were good at making women forget their problems, so I guess I just assumed she was your latest case. Unless it’s your girlfriend.”
Did I detect a hint of jealousy laced in Sierra’s voice?
Dodge took a step toward Sierra and leaned in closer to her as he looked into her eyes. “Why, Sierra? Are you in need of forgetting?”
Sucking in a breath, Sierra took a step back as her eyes searched Dodge’s face. I walked in-between them. “All right kids, no fighting. Back to your corners. Sierra, it’s not nice to call Dodge a man whore, and Dodge, watch it, dude.” Looking at Dodge, he glanced my way. Nodding his head, he mumbled, “I’m sorry, Sierra, I didn’t mean anything by that.” Dodge turned and waved to the younger girl. “That’s my sister, Em.”
Sierra plastered on a fake smile and tilted her head when Dodge turned back to her. Licking along the bottom of her lip, Sierra said, “No worries. Your offer does sound intriguing though, Dodge. I’ll keep it in mind.”
Dodge’s smile dropped from his face as he took a step back. Yep, Sierra had that kind of an effect on guys. Laughing, I took Sierra by the arm and began leading her away. Calling over her shoulder, Sierra said, “It was good seeing you, Aaron.”
Smirking back at Sierra, Dodge said, “Y’all too.”
As we walked back down to the restaurant and up to the bar, I looked at Sierra and grinned. “Do you know how much of a cocktease you are?”
Taking a sip of her cocktail, Sierra gave me an innocent smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Tristan. Cock is the last thing I’m interested in; therefore, I would not be teasing it.”
Taking a drink of my beer, I set it down. “I call bullshit, Sierra. Look me in the eye and tell me Dodge didn’t get your panties a little moist just now.”
Looking me dead square in the eye she said, “Nope,” as she popped her p loudly. “Please, Ryn’s already told me he has a reputation as being the go-to guy when you’re wanting to forget your problems with a good screwing. No thanks. Not interested.”
Turning away, I mumbled, “If you say so.”
Hitting me on the shoulder she said, “I say so. Hey, did you know that Dodge almost got it on with your sister-in-law? Ryn told me all about it.”
Rolling my eyes, I asked, “Why do women gossip?”
“We weren’t gossiping, I asked about how Dodge and Ryn came to be and she told me.”
“Oh yeah? Enlighten me.”
Giving me a look that reminded me of my mother, Sierra asked, “You really want to know how the whole Dodge and Ryn thing started?”
Nodding my head, I swallowed hard and whispered, “Yes.”
Raising her eyebrows, Sierra began talking. “Okay, you asked for it. Let’s see, Ryn began talking to Dodge one night at the club he runs. She poured her heart out to him about you being a really big dick and pushing her away . . .” Smirking, she gave me a wink. “Well, one thing led to another and Ryn came out and asked Dodge if he would have sex with her to help her push you out of her head. He said yes and the rest is history. Ryn calls Dodge and he pretty much comes to her when she needs him to. They started out as strictly fuck buddies and it moved to something a little more.”
Staring at Sierra, I attempted to find my voice. When I finally found it, I started to talk. “Do you know how much of a cold-hearted bitch you are? Why would you tell me that?”
“What? Ohmygod! Tristan, you said you wanted to know.”
“I didn’t think you were just going to blurt it out like that.”
Dropping her mouth open, she shook her head. “What in the hell? What did you want me to do?”
“Giving me the version that doesn’t rip my heart out and stomp on it would have been nice.”
Sliding off the bar stool, Sierra placed her hands on her hips. “Do you know what, all you men are the same. You want me to take it easy on you when you ask how your ex . . . that’s right, Tristan, I said ex-girlfriend hooked up with her fuck buddy. There is no easy version. You fucked up, buddy. You hurt her and she did what she thought she had to do to move on. Do you think it was easy for Ryn to open her heart to you last year? To allow herself to fall head over heels in love with you, and for once in her life imagine a future with someone who would love and take care of her? Only to have you yank it out from under her when you call the other girl you’re fucking on the side? What makes you men think you can play games with our hearts? What makes you think that by fucking me for one night it’s going to push all the pain and hurt that my husband of six years caused me? What makes Dodge think he has a magical dick that can make any girl forget any kind of heartache? Holy fucking shit . . . it doesn’t work that way. Sex is not a damn tool to be used like that.” Tears formed in Sierra’s eyes and my heart dropped. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.
“You’re all the same!” Turning away, she mumbled under her breath as she headed toward the exit, “I officially hate all men.”
Taking a twenty from my wallet, I put it on the bar and headed to the door. Opening it, I glanced both ways and saw Sierra walking down the street. I began jogging and caught up to her.
“Sierra, please wait. Don’t leave when you’re upset with me.”
When she stopped walking and turned to me, my legs almost gave out. Tears were streaming down her face. Her lower lip quivered and her eyes seemed lost.
“What’s going on?”
I heard someone else’s voice, but I couldn’t pull my eyes from Sierra.
“Tristan, what happened? Sierra, are you okay?”
Sierra turned and looked at someone as she wiped her tears away. “No, Dodge. I’m the farthest thing from okay.”
“Where are you parked? Let me take you to your car, Sierra,” I said as I took a step closer.
Shaking her head, she whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m okay, Tristan. It’s just been a long day.”
Now it was Dodge’s turn to step closer to Sierra. “Will you at least let one of us walk you to your car?”
Looking between both of us, Sierra’s eyes widened. “Um . . . no I’d rather be alone. Thanks though.” She quickly began walking off, never once looking back.
“Tristan, what in the hell happened?”
Watching Sierra walk away, I slowly shook my head. “I’m not really sure, but I think Sierra may have just had a bit of a breakdown.”
“Pesh, good going there, Tristan.”
Slowly looking back at Dod
ge, I narrowed my eye at him. “Fuck you, asshole. At least I’m not known as the guy who is only good for a fucking. By the way, stay the hell away from Sierra.”
Dodge pulled his head back and laughed. “Excuse me? Are you seriously telling me to stay away from a girl who is not even your girlfriend?”
“Yeah, I am.”
Pushing past him, I began walking up Sixth Street to where my car was parked. My head was spinning right now. Seeing Sierra break down about killed me. I wasn’t sure what caused Sierra to snap and that bothered me.
Running my hand through my hair, I let out a whispered, “Fuck,” as I opened the door to my car and climbed in. I needed fresh air and wide open spaces. I needed the ranch. That was the only way I was going to be able to clear my head and get my game plan down on what I was going to do next with Ryn. It was decision time. I was either going to walk away from the one girl who had brought feelings alive in me that I had never experienced, or I was going to fight like hell to put my own fears aside and take a risk.
“SO ARE YOU GOING TO tell me what is bothering you, Sierra?”
Tipping her head up, Sierra looked at me. “Nothing is bothering me. Why do you ask?”
I looked around Nordstrom’s and gestured with my hands. “We are in the middle of your favorite store, in the shoe department, and you have yet to pick up anything and say you had to have it.”
Giving me a weak smile and a small shrug, Sierra walked over to a pair of silver high heel shoes. “I guess it’s just the holidays are getting me down. I used to go over to my ex asshole’s parents’ at Christmas, and with it only being a little over two weeks away, I guess I’m starting to feel sad. It’s stupid.”