VI
I had to tell Mama. She would be so proud knowing that I was going to help Humurom. That’s what I was doing after all, finally making it possible for everyone to go outside without being scared. I was going to be a hero once again. Only this time it was to last. One helping of meat only lasts one night, but the ability to get as much as we wanted; that was going to last a long time. I had the ability, I was sure of it, to create peace not known for a century in a half and probably longer.
My mother was going to get better after this, once she had real food. What bothered me was that she would have to hold out for several days without me. Not that I was much help. I did what I could, but had no medic training or any idea as to how I could do more. I was stuck in the worst place I could be. Right between not knowing how to help and not being able to; while watching others in the same place. It created feelings of utter hopelessness inside me. All this mixed with the notion that I may have been the reason Milton was dead. He was a professional who had hunted for years without being seen. I was a new and inexperienced and probably gave our position away. Stud didn’t want me talking about it, but we both knew it was my fault.
A new thought came to me. What if I gave away our location again? The more people that came with me meant more chances for death; which meant more sadness. I pushed the idea from my mind and refocused on looking for the Cityers, only wanting peace. If they attacked then we would lower our weapons and they would know we mean peace. I didn’t think long enough on the idea to figure if it would actually work. I was feeling better, and that’s all that mattered at the moment.
Mama was sitting up in bed when I got there, medic at her side. The medic left when they saw me, I wasn’t above giving them dirty looks. I knew they weren’t to blame for her condition, but blaming somebody helped me get through it.
I looked at Mama a long time. My mind searched for what she looked like before her sickness set in. There was only a hazy memory, probably altered over the years. In it she was laughing, her hair down and her eyes full of life. The only thing left was how she looked while ill. Face sunken and gaunt, eyes unfocused. There was a weak smile as she tried to remain hopeful. Her fair was falling out. I hated when people visited because they always reminded her of how it once was. Long, beautiful: the best hair in Humurom. I didn’t know if it depressed her. I never could bring myself to ask.
She glanced up at me and her smile instantly widened. I was her main reason to live, she told me that frequently. I only wished that the medics could find out what was wrong. We all wanted to know, but could never figure it out. The medics said the tests were too invasive to be tried, that it would only lead to further harm.
“What was all that? I heard shouting.” Mama’s voice was weak.
I took Mama’s hand. “I pitched an idea to the leaders.”
“Really? What was it?”
“I am going to leave for a few days . . . o-on a hunting trip to see if there is more food farther away.”
Her smile faded slightly. “Oh, well you be safe. I know that if anyone can outsmart the Cityers it’s you. Please be careful.”
She took it better than I thought she would. “I’ll be back real soon. And I’m going to bring a team of the best hunters. We’ll be back in no time with food and the knowledge of where to get more.”
“I know you will.”
Mama closed her eyes and fell asleep. I half wondered if she was just trying to end the conversation. I kissed her cheek and stayed until I was sure she was asleep. I turned my attention to the piece of paper Matilik gave me. Two of the hunters on the list were on the fourth floor. It was getting late but I decided to see if I could get a head start on making a team. The first one was only two doors down from my own residence, which was strange because I did not recognize the name at all. When I got there I knocked, having no idea what to say. A young girl opened the door.
“I’m sorry that it is so late,” I said while looking at the floor, “but is Dala here?”
“I’m here.” She said.
I finally looked at her. She had brown hair and seemed very annoyed that I was at her door, which made me even more nervous. “You’re Dala? Is there another Dala, a hunter?” I knew there wouldn’t be since no one was allowed to have the same name as someone else. It seemed improbable that the leaders would make a list with someone who clearly was not a hunter on it.
“Still me.”
“Hunters have to be at least sixteen, and you don’t really look it.”
“I’m twelve.” She said as if it was the clearest thing in the world.
“Oh great.” I said sarcastically, believing that I had just become part of a bad joke.
“I can hunt.”
I had no reason to not believe her. “Right, well I was wondering if you wanted to go on a long hunting mission to find more food.”
“As long as I’m out there and not in here I’ll do almost anything.”
“Do you hate it in here that much?”
She nodded vigorously. “Yeah, how can anybody live in this metal tube? It’s terrible.
“So you’re in?”
“You’re a quick one. I’ll go, just get me when you leave.”
“Right.”
“Bye now.” She closed the door.
One down, even if it was a twelve year old. I got the idea that I should probably have met her parents, but was too happy in having a team started that I didn’t want any reason to doubt the members by getting parents involved. While there I noticed that the next person on the list was only a few doors down. I wasn’t as nervous and wanted to get as much out of the way while I was still confident. I knocked on the next door.
“Yes.” A girl about my age opened the door. She had black hair and skin much darker than mine.
“Hello, is Lace here?”
“She might be.”
I knew this girl was Lace, I had seen her several times before leaving the Hunting Office. I played along anyway. “If you see here tell her that I want her to go on a mission to find food.”
“I heard all about it.”
“Oh, well if you can get an answer –”
“I’ll think about it.” She closed the door before I could say anything else.
That was enough for one night. Before returning home I took a walk around. I absent mindedly led myself downstairs through 5 and 6. No one was around; it was the perfect time for me to think. My steps echoed softly throughout. Half of the lamps had already been extinguished for the night. At two post day the rest would be put out.
Many thoughts coursed through my mind, most had no connection to anything going on, and so I concentrated on the ones that did; primarily the idea that I was on the verge of becoming a hero. That thought would not leave me, and I was glad. It made me feel like what I was about to do would actually mean something. After that there was no room in my head for the very real possibilities of danger. And I planned on keeping it that way. I was a strong believer in hope. While it never seemed to work before I thought that if I believed hard enough the journey would be a good one.
The floor cleaners came out for their nightly shifts. I felt it was about time to head back and get some sleep. Halfway around 4 to my residence I saw somebody coming towards me. It was too dark to see who it was at first, but as we got closer to each other I saw that it was my old friend Peter. We stared at each other awkwardly for a minute, all our past adventures coming to mind.
We had met each other during lessons about fifteen years before. We were both quiet and didn’t have any friends. I noticed that we were similar and wanted to be friends, but it took three years for us to talk. After that we were doing all kinds of things together. Many nights were spent sneaking around after hours. That is until we were caught by Matilik, who at the time was the leader of the Hunting Office. We also both had our first jobs in the Dining Office. I was a dishwasher and he was a water collector. That was
the best job in Humurom. Peter would spend all day going back and forth from the kitchens to the underground spring. The spring was in a cave reached by going through a very long tunnel. We would spend a lot of time down there because it was the only place we could go that wasn’t covered with metal.
Things started to fall apart between us when I was transferred to the Hunting Office. I was out all the time, and really tired when I got back. I always had a feeling that he wanted to keep his distance because of the danger I was in. As if he didn’t want to know someone who could die any day. I hadn’t seen him at all since I started at the Files Office. Being so sad all the time I never wanted to see or talk to anyone. The only person I did talk to was Stud, and that’s mainly because he wouldn’t shut up.
We continued to look at each other. After a while he opened his mouth, but thought better against talking. I started things off. “Hey” was all I could say.
“Hey.” He said back.
“It’s been a while.” I said.
“Yeah it has. You know that idea you had down there, it’s pretty good.”
“Thank you.”
“Have you found your team yet?”
“I’m still looking, but I’ve asked a few people.”
Peter took to looking at the floor. “I’ve never been out of Humurom.”
“Most people haven’t.”
“I know, just keep that in mind.”
“Do you want to come?” It was time to cut to the chase.
“I’m not a trained hunter.”
“You’re strong, smart, that works for me.”
“Thank you . . . so . . . can I come with you?”
I thought that I had made that obvious, but apparently not. “Yes, I’ll tell you the details when I can.”
It took a while for me to get to sleep. When it finally did happen I had a nightmare where I was constantly being killed by explosions. The hope did not transfer to my subconscious. In the morning I was awoken by a knock at the door. Still half asleep I thought it was another explosion. I was still shaking slightly when I opened the door. A messenger from Matilik told me that a meeting had been arranged with all the willing hunters in the Hunting Office. I got Peter from his residence and we walked down together. Dala and Lace were there, along with one other person.
“Is this it?” I was expecting more people to show up.
Lace came up to me first, with a big guy who looked a little like her. “This is my cousin Morome.”
Morome was tall and large. I had seen him on occasion; he was easy to spot in a crowd. “I jumped at the chance to get back out there. I used to be a hunter, but was switched to the Residence Office.” He was much more pleasant than I thought he would be.
“Great, it’s good to have you.” I tried to sound like the leader I thought I would have to become in order for this trip to go well.
“Is this everyone?” Peter asked when he walked in behind me, mirroring my thoughts.
Dala sat on the large round table in the center of the room. “I don’t think the leaders want a giant crowd leaving.”
“That would be a migration . . .” I was instantly brought back to a different time. I wondered what Milton would have said if he could have seen us all there.
“Where are we going to go?” Morome asked.
“I think it best that we head away from where everyone else went.” Peter said. “Where would that be?”
Lace looked concerned. “You mean head away from the Hunting Grounds? The place has a name for a reason.”
“And when was the last time anybody actually hunted there?” Dala pointed out. “It should be called the ‘you’re being hunted grounds’.”
“But we’ve always gone there.” Lace said.
“And maybe that’s the problem brightness.”
I was beginning to see why Dala was a hunter.
“You better watch it.” Lace warned.
Morome stood between them. “Hey, cut it out.”
Peter also got in the mix. “This is about peace right Hardin?”
“We’re not hunting.” I said. The room got quiet. All eyes were on me. “You all are the only ones who need to know; do not tell the leaders. The mission is to engage the Cityers in talks.”
Lace looked like she was about to have a fit. “What? The only thing the Cityers are engaged in is killing.”
Dala slowly nodded her head. “Sounds interesting.”
“I agree with Lace.” Morome said. “This sounds insane.”
Peter spoke slowly, as if my mental state was in question. “Hardin, this is not a good idea.”
“Look, this is what I am going to do. If you’re with me than alright, if not then please leave.”
“This is just stupid.” Lace whispered.
Dala stood up. “Then leave, nobody’s keeping you here.”
I was feeling that nobody was going to come with me at that point. My hopeful feelings were beginning to diminish.
“Think it over, Hardin.” Peter pleaded.
“I have for too long now. I was originally planning to go nine months ago.”
“That didn’t kill the idea.” Lace said.
“Great choice of words.” Dala sneered.
“Well it should have.”
“Milton was alright with the idea.” I said, hoping it would help my argument.
“Everyone knows he was a little off.”
I was annoyed that Lace would talk about Milton that way, but I didn’t want to start another argument so I let it slide. “Listen, the Cityers are just like us.”
“Says who?” Lace was in my face now.
“Listen!” I shouted. “The Cityers are people just like us. I’ve been working in the Files Office and have learned our history, and it doesn’t add up.” This was the first time I told anybody this. “There is talk of brutal attacks by Cityers but it seems so one sided in its depictions of what happened. I can’t continue to believe that they only want to destroy us, there has to be some fault by our ancestors that they are angry about and I want to apologize for it.”
Morome was the first to speak. “Did you ever think that maybe they really did just want us all dead? If we are all dead then they could get everything and have the whole area to themselves.”
“I wondered that,” I admitted, “but then I wondered, ‘what is the whole area?’ In the files it talks of other people, other countries. Where are they? What happened to them?”
“Maybe they were killed by the Cityers.”
I couldn’t believe that. “Giant civilizations with millions of people being killed off by Cityers? I don’t think so.”
“It does sound strange.” Dala said.
I wasn’t getting anywhere with just telling them why we should go, so I decided to try to make them feel as if they needed to go. “In the files are paintings. Wonderful works of art with more colors than can be imagined. They show a world that isn’t gray and dead, but alive and beautiful. There are trees growing everywhere, buildings that go to the sky. That’s what I want to bring back; end violence and fear because they don’t work. It hasn’t so far and it never will. I truly believe that the only way to get back to that world is finding the Cityers and working out what’s gone wrong.”
“I agree.” Dala said quietly, thoughtfully.
Peter nodded in assent.
Lace groaned. “I still don’t know.”
Morome slowly began nodding. “It’s better than nothing.”
Dala turned to Lace. “Don’t you want to see that world?”
“It sounds nice,” She agreed, “but I would choose this world over death every time.”
Dala rubbed Lace’s shoulder. “We are a team now; we’ll look after each other.”
“Let me think it over.”
I had several onboard already and that was good enough for me. “Alright, I’m going to try to leave tomorrow morning. If I wait too long I might not want to go.??
?
Slowly the hunters, and Peter, left. I had a lot to plan out and went down for a late breakfast. The dining area was almost vacant when I got there. The only tables filled had floor cleaners eating before going to sleep for the day. The Nutrition was just as tasteless and nasty as usual. I took it up to my residence and gave half to Mama. She ate it quickly and fell back asleep. I sat there, in her room for a while, listening to her shallow breathing.
My mind fought with the idea of leaving. I wanted to be there for Mama, but the plan was already in progress. Once again I had to remind myself that the plan would work and that everything would be better. I mulled this over for half an hour. There weren’t many things that I could think about in the day before the journey. My mind was stuck on the same few thoughts and I couldn’t get passed them. My mother, the journey, being a hero, that’s all that was there.
I spent the entire afternoon taking a nap on my old mat, hoping some amazing idea would come to me in a dream, unfortunately none did. A knock at the door finally woke me. It was Matilik. He said everything had been decided and that we were to leave the next morning. We would meet at the exit. Instead of feeling excited, I became nauseas. All those thoughts exploded in me at once. All the worries and fears that I had been suppressing came to the surface when it became official that I would be leaving. I fought it, and tried to regain control of myself. I spent the night in Mama’s room, in the chair usually reserved for meal times. She woke several times, wished me good luck for the journey, and fell back asleep. I was afraid to talk to her about it, in case I changed my mind because of it.
The main fear was of the Cityers. I told the other hunters that they would gladly engage in talks with us. But all I could think of was the bright flash that came before I blacked out nine months before. There was a high possibility that that might happen again, but I didn’t dare think it. I was a strong believer in hope, and if hope prevailed in my thoughts then we would be alright.