Page 3 of Its Around


  That cat

  Now l remember

  It was jumping with merry

  While it was a baby

  From here, to there

  In the garden.

  It would look to window

  With wondered eyes and

  With a thin voice:

  Miaow, miaov...

 

  My mother would feeding it

  A few months before.

  She would interest just with cats.

  Other times she does not talk much

  As if, she was living.

 

  behind of invisible glass. .

  In any kind,

  I could not dare her to touch.

  She as if would hate from every body

  Why, l dont know.

  It was a baby

  A small, sweet taby.

  How ever,

  Strangely, now l remember.

 

  I never seen that cat

  One more.

  After from that night.

  Where is it now

  Just God knows.

  Yet in my ear

  Those miaovs...

  I will miss her

  And that

  Tabby

  28

 

 

 

  P O L A R S

 

 

 

  Alones, exiles, lives in a glacier country.

  In the ice age.

  With horror they watch the players

  behind of the stage.

  For this they were sent to exile

  Beyond of life, in thousands mile.

  For, they were not joining to play.

  In a glacier country

  Sighed for a warm, smiling sunny day.

  They said: Here is the kingdom of the words

  In the north.

  In polars, sun doesn't heat

  for not to ruin the building that

  made in from ice of the thought.

 

  There is ever days,

  with a mat sun,

  Wishful

  and long.

  There is no night.

  There is neither suffering

  Nor delight, how long.

 

  Any more their tongues silent

  speeches are strange.

  Are they glad

  from their base?

  Such their faces fade...

  At once,

  How something was that laugh?

 

  They have dream faraway somewhere

  Sunny, a bit funny

  A country that now quite far

  for to go.

  Even if one try

  The lifetime, does it enough?

 

  29

 

 

 

  ABOUT BEAUTY

  Nice a body, a double, white, smooth legs

  If they will enter under the ground

  finally,

  What's have means of the beauty?

 

  Behind left just

  Cold, hard bones,

  Was leaved by tricky meats, that

  at once fleshly, you liked one's.

  If they will leak

  To soil,

  Nice

  A double eyes,

  A charming lips

  If it doesn't tell,

  . any word nice

  Else from curse,

  Doesn't turn your great life to hell?

 

  Under of nice, silky, blonde hairs

  If no there a thinking brain

  Would you love her, again?

  If she doesn't touch to your skin

  With tender and keen;

  And after many years;

  Even with white hairs and face;

  hollow checks ,

  If she doesn't love you still

  about suffering

  without fears.

 

  What's have means of the beauty?

 

  30

  IN THE SEA COAST

 

  I can hear

  It whispering in my ear.

  The words that unclear,

  The song of the wind.

  Merry but sorrowful.

  Inside a peace

  My eyes at

  blue horizon

  that

  hopeful.

  Front, move full sea

  White feathers

  kidding with costs,

  One forward, one back.

 

  I cant think

  Any thing

  in my mind

  Just that blue blank.

 

  31

  SCREAM

  Life, starts with a scream...

  Two doctors were tripping in the corridors.

  One, with timid and shocked eyes

  Was speaking to other one:

  Interesting baby, when it born did not scream,

  did not cry.

  Its voice wasn't heard,

  looked to abroad.

  Moreover, it was hard,

  Her screams were heard from every side

  Like half hour.

  (Twisted his lips,l looking on dark parked floor;)

  I can't find, to say any word.

  I was seeing first time such a birth.

  It fixed any point, it's large, light blue eyes .

 

  Other asked with wonder:

  Never?

  Did not it cry?

  -No.

  -interesting. Normally , all babies cries...

  32

 

  Somewhere, that faraway

  On a slope, on the left side of green way

  that covered with brushwood.

  Silent, just full with birds voices.

  In a summer resort

  One Woman was living with her baby.

  She had divorced, but

  She was happy again

  in this yellow villa

  looking to cross mountain.

  It was giving sorrow a bit

  to spirit

  but such magnificent.

  She looked smiling

  her baby" how mu
ch looking innocent"

  Many years after

  since the talking of the doctors.

  that blue eyed baby

  grows, happens,

  known by everyone calm, silent a kid.

  Just in his childhood

  Joker and merry a bit.

  But in his school he was not successful.

  extreme goes, some days

  Was going to play clubs with friends

  as truant.

  Mother was thinking so

  he was in the school.

  Until he calls the mother

  to talk schoolmaster...

 

  33

  I don't know, have you information

  About your son , actually good, silent someone

  but, unfortunately

  some days he is going to

  play clubs instead of class.

  If you talk with him

  you had better.

  The first wrongness had so started.

 

  His closest friend was a bit snob

  What if he says, he would do it.

  Like his mother was.

  So so, days pass.

 

  One day, his mother had prepared

  for nutrition break in school,

  a few sandwiches that delicious.

  Son, got them, like he will eat

  but afterward he was hiding them

  behind of the cupboard.

  He never had brought those sandwiches to school

  he shapes from his friends

  he should seen toward his friends, cool.

 

  And one day mother sees sandwiches

  behind of cupboard.

  while she was making cleaning the house,

  he never ate them that

  She had prepared with carefully.

  She asked him, what's these?

  Son, never said anything, just

  was looking to sandwiches

  that decayed already.

  34

 

  Mother got angry,

  and takes his ear, so that

  Why you did not say anything

  that you was not eating

  just you should say the true,

  Now how can l trust you?

 

  After from that day, son got more silent

  But inside a flame that more and more

  getting violent.

  Everybody who knows him

  "Quite calm, good somebody,

  But much silent, how can l say,

  Like he had no any aim.

  Before he was sulky toward his mother

  then, to friends.

  He wasn't going with they to cinema or any fun

  More an more he was getting silent,

  mysterious someone.

  When she looked her sun

  She was worry, get questions was

  waiting answer less

  mostly, with time,

  he had turned pretty well, never talking someone.

  With time, he was an adult

  to work now necessary.

  But no, he was depressed for work

  Where he goes.

  As if he was carrier of a big stress.

  People was afraid from this silent guy.

  35

  Years passed so.

  Mother, was living a secret illness how long

  Never talked about it,

  her son

  that she loves like her spirit.

  And one day, toward to morning

  She had closed her eye.

 

  : On her face, tripping a shadow ,

  like,

  half hope , never became true.

  Or she was waiting,

  never wouldn't come one day, someone.

 

 

  Slowly he climbed the stairs

  Like ever he was

  His face frozen, ringed the bell.

  Silent!

  Again tried, again silent.

  This time , he took his key.

  In his eyes, violent statement

  he thought,

  his mother was not opening he door.

 

  Many fiction in his mind,

  Was there stranger someone inside?

  Anyway,

  With a boredom he thought

  for to escape from her

  Must be one way,

  and with anger turned the key.

 

  When he aware the long silence in the room

  he began to worry.

  Because, her Shoes that ever

  she wear, were in house.

 

  Mother, mother?

  She comes finally from other rooms however.

  But, that ominous silence was going on.

 

  36

 

  This strange silence like

  a visible hand that strong

  Was beating his soul.

  When he go into her room

  Saw the bitter true.

  In his ear, still that bitter

  behind left from days of school.

  Now, could he be cool.

  Now, mother was in bed such silent

  His all storm that tripping in his soul

  now, like silent, calm sea coast.

  That somebody that, in bed,

  the single relative, single blood from past.

  She won't talk any more.

 

  Her looks on the ceiling, with open eyes

  like someone waiting.

  His eyes, now tearful.

  After a few seconds

  Now he was aware of true much more.

 

  37

 

 

  With tearful eyes,

  Screamed:

  -Nooo!

  And tears began leak down unconsciously.

  Scream was heard, in apartment from each floor.

 


  He liked to dead body hug

  Now, could be?

  On the wall, he saw a black, climbing bug,

  as if it had waited long time,

  hiding somewhere

  and now it was taking out.

  As if it had seen the death, openly

  and, trying to escape from it.

  it was somewhere in the room.

  He had shocked himself,

  to this dispersed attention.

  So, life was going on still...

  He sensed inside slightly a will ...

 

  He had screamed first time

  When his mother died..

 

  After he lose his mother

  he had turned to normal case.

  The late but coming finally a

  tired peace on his face.

  From to be ever silent.

  Yes,

  When his mother died

  He had raised again,

  he had lived until now like in a dream

  he was born again with a late scream.

 

 

 

  38

 
H. Leila Cankaya's Novels