"Are you going to be all right, or do you need me to hang out with you?"
"I'm fine. I need a hot shower, then a hard drink. Then I'm going to make a phone call."
He kissed her cheek. "Hey, Logan. I'll see you later."
"Colt."
After Colt walked away, Des went up to Logan. "What brings you by?"
"Just wanted to see you. Was I interrupting?"
"Oh. With Colt? No."
"Looked like a pretty intense moment between the two of you."
Was he still jealous over the Colt thing? "Colt had a rough day."
"And you kiss your friends who had rough days like that all the time?"
She looped her arm in his. "Are you jealous?"
He pulled back. "Seriously, Des. Is there something going on with you and Colt?"
"Seriously, Logan. There isn't. We're friends. I've told you that before."
"I don't kiss my friends like that."
She laughed. "I would imagine you don't, since most of your friends are guys."
"I'm not kidding here."
He wasn't. He was pissed.
"Logan. There's nothing going on with Colt and me. We're friends."
"So what was going on just now?"
"I told you. He had a rough day. I was offering him some comfort."
"And you're not going to elaborate."
She lifted her chin, irritated that he would ask. "No. I'm not."
"Whatever. I'm going to head back to the ranch." He turned and walked toward the gate.
"Are you kidding me with this Neanderthal macho jealousy thing? You really don't trust me?"
He stopped and pivoted to face her. "No, it's that you don't trust me."
"Because I won't tell you every detail of what Colt and I were talking about?"
He didn't say anything.
"Some things I can't tell you. I'm sorry."
"Because your friendship with Colt is more important than what you and I have."
"Now you're being petty and childish." And she was frustrated because she held Colt's confidence.
"And now it's time for me to leave. Good night, Des."
She couldn't believe he was leaving, that he'd seen what he wanted to see, and without justification, was angry about it.
Fine. He could just leave. She wasn't going to ask him to stay. She walked back toward her trailer, determined to forget all about Logan. She had more important things to think about. Like Colt, who was her best friend and needed her and loved her unconditionally.
And her movie, which she should spend more time concentrating on instead of pigheaded, provincial, idiotic males who had their heads stuck so far up their own asses their brains were leaking out in the last century.
LOGAN SAT IN his truck, steaming mad over his encounter with Des. He popped open the top of his can of pop and drank it down in about four swallows.
It had been a brutally hot, miserable day of work on the ranch. He'd gone back to the house, ate dinner, took a shower, and the only thing on his mind after that--hell, the only thing on his mind the entire day--had been to see Des. She'd been a balm to his tortured senses from day one. Even when she teased him, she relaxed him.
Except he'd walked through the gate and had seen her in one hell of romantic clinch with Colt. And then they'd kissed, and it sure had looked a lot more than a "just friends" kind of kiss to him. The heat that had cooked his blood all damn day long had begun to boil over with a jealous rage that had taken even him by surprise.
By nature he wasn't a jealous type of guy, mainly because he never really cared all that much about any of the women he'd been with before. They'd all been casual acquaintances or occasional bed partners. So if they wanted to see other guys, that had been fine with him. He had never cared one way or another.
Except Des. Des did something to his brain or his heart or his something, because even knowing she and Colt were just friends, seeing her touching him and kissing him and being affectionate with him made him goddamn crazy.
And then he'd acted like an asshole--something he seemed to do regularly where she was concerned.
He took a deep breath and let it out. Yeah, he'd said stupid things to her and had accused her of having some kind of intimate relationship with Colt and lying to him about it.
He could lay the blame on his mother for this, but essentially, the fault was with him. Somewhere deep inside him, he was broken, and he didn't know how to fix it.
The one thing he did know was that he was going to have to face Des head-on and not let this fester. He was already miserable, and no doubt she was pissed as hell at him.
And rightly so.
He got out of his truck and went back to the gate. The guards there knew him well by now, so they just let him through. He made his way to her trailer and knocked.
She opened the door, frowning when she saw him. "What? Did you think of a few more unsavory things to say about my character?"
"No. I came to apologize."
She paused, then held the door. "Come on in."
He walked in and shut the door behind him. Des had already walked away. She was in the kitchen, trying to open a bottle of wine.
"Here, let me do that for you."
She gave him a "drop dead" look. Undeterred, he took the corkscrew and bottle from her hands and pulled the cork, then poured her a glass and handed it to her. She took the glass and headed into the living room and took a seat.
She didn't invite him to sit. He didn't deserve it. He came in and kneeled down in front of her.
"You make me crazy. I do stupid things. I saw you and Colt holding each other tight and kissing, and it does insane things to my head."
She looked at him. "Colt and I are just friends. You know this."
"I know. But when you wouldn't elaborate, my head conjured up the two of you having secrets, excluding me from that part of your life. I don't like it. I know it's not logical, but I don't like it."
She sighed and put the glass down on the table next to her. "They're not my secrets to tell. If it has to do with my life, I'm an open book. Ask any question and I'll answer you. But as far as Colt's life . . ."
"I understand. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I even intimated for a minute that I didn't trust you." He laid his forehead on her knee. "I'm an asshole sometimes, and I wish there was someone else to blame for that, but there isn't. This is all on me."
"You did hurt me. You've known from the beginning that I'm going to be honest with you, Logan. But as far as this? There are just things I can't tell you. Because when a friend needs you to be there for them, sometimes you have to hold their secrets."
He lifted his head to look at her, and he could see she was torn. "I'm sorry I made you feel as if you had to be in the middle between me and Colt. You don't have to be."
"He's like a brother to me, and I know that sounds icky since we do love scenes together. But we are really good friends. We're family. I love him, but not in the way--"
She stopped, and he held his breath. She stared at him for a few seconds, and he didn't know what to think.
"Not in a sexual way. Like with you. Our sex scenes are the real deal." Her lips curved.
And not at all what he thought she was going to say. "Right. So am I forgiven? Again?"
"Yes."
He rose up and brushed his lips across hers, then pulled her into his arms, dragging her on top of him onto the floor. The sweet forgiveness in her kiss was soon replaced by passion. Clothes were shed, Des grabbed a condom, and then she was on top of him, riding him to a hard and fast orgasm that left them both shattered, breathless, and perspiring.
They lay there naked, Des sprawled on top of him while he stroked her back.
"This floor sucks," he said.
Des laughed and climbed off him. They went into the bathroom to clean up and got dressed while Des fixed him a drink.
He pulled up a spot next to her on the sofa while she grabbed her wine.
"An open book, huh?" he as
ked as he took a sip of the pop she'd given him.
She frowned. "What?"
"You said earlier you were an open book. That I could just ask you any question and you'd answer it."
"Oh, right. That's true. So what do you want to know?"
"We've talked a lot about my family. Tell me about yours."
Des blew out a breath. "Oh. My family. Well, not much to tell, really. My dad is career army. My mom has been a stay-at-home mom her whole life in support of my dad's military endeavors. I have one older brother and one older sister. My brother went ROTC, then West Point, following in my father's footsteps. My sister is a biologist."
"So you're the odd duck."
She laughed. "Yes."
"Is your dad still in the military?"
"Yes. Currently stationed at Fort Benning in Georgia. He's a one-star general, with hopes to continue to move up the ladder."
"And what does your mom do?"
"All that stuff military wives do. I don't really know. She stays busy with all her social engagements. She's very dedicated to my father's military career. And my brother's now, too."
"How did your parents feel about you becoming an actress?"
She remembered the day she told them she wanted to be an actress, the horror on both their faces. "Both were dead set against it. My father wanted me to go to school to become a doctor."
"Had you expressed interest in being a doctor?"
"Never. I actually laughed when he said it. You do not laugh at my father. Our discussion didn't go well."
"But if it wasn't what you wanted to do, why would he be upset?"
"You don't understand. You just don't disagree with General Delbert Jenkins."
He smoothed his hand over her legs. "It wasn't General Jenkins talking to you, then, though. It was your dad."
"Yeah, well, tell him that. Anyway, I was terrible at both math and science, but he said there was nothing a Jenkins couldn't do and that I simply wasn't applying myself hard enough. That's when I told him I wanted to be an actress. He really exploded then. He told me that was the worst career choice I could ever make."
"Obviously, it wasn't."
"In hindsight, no. But at the time, it broke my heart. I had just gotten the lead in the school play and I was so thrilled. I wanted them to share my joy."
"And your mom? What did she say?"
"Nothing. She sat silently next to my dad. She was always on his side, agreeing with whatever he said."
"I'm sorry."
She met his gaze. "For what?"
"I know what it's like to not have parents on your side. Though at least I had my dad. It sounds to me like you were swimming upstream."
She shrugged. "I got used to it. He'd yell and insist, and I'd ignore him. I didn't even apply to any colleges, despite my father's vehement, very loud, very often orders that I do so. When I graduated from high school, I packed a bag and took a bus out to Hollywood. My parents never forgave me for that."
"You talk to them now, don't you?"
"They're happy for my success, but let's just say our relationship is . . . strained."
"Yeah, I know how that is." He leaned his head against his hand and played with a strand of her hair. "How about your brother and sister?"
"Teddy toes the army line, so I don't talk to him much. He's moving up the military ladder fast. Penelope and I touch base every now and then. She's as busy as I am, and she's deeply involved in biological research. But we do Skype, and she'll come out to L.A. and visit when she has a break. I'll visit her, and my parents, whenever I'm on a break from a movie."
"It doesn't sound like you're really all that close with any of your family members, Des."
She shrugged. "It is what it is. Probably out of all of them, I'm closest with Penny. But like I said, she's really busy doing research."
"Maybe you should talk to her about taking a vacation, too."
She laughed. "I probably should. Though I think she's less likely to take one than I am."
"A family trait, maybe?"
"Could be."
"Families can be the hardest on those they love the most, Des."
She nodded. "I don't doubt for a second that my parents love me. My dad just has tunnel vision. He had this very rigid upbringing. His father was military, too. He only knows one way, and that's his way. He brought that regimented military lifestyle into the home."
"And you rebelled against it."
She smiled. "I guess I did."
"Do you think that's why you decided to become an actress?"
She frowned. "You mean as an act of rebellion against my father? No. I really did fall in love with the craft. The rebellion part was just a bonus."
He laughed. "Yeah, I had that part down, too. Parents can't have all the fun torturing their kids. There has to be some payback."
"Like hiding your mom's makeup?"
"Like that. Among other things. She was so fussy she made it too easy."
"And my dad was so rigid, it was easy to get him riled up."
"Our kids will never have a chance. We're too laid-back."
She nodded. "Exactly. Plus, we know all the tricks."
"Yeah, and everyone says this, but their kids still find a way."
"True. Still, I'd like to think I'm smarter than my kids will be, and a lot more Zen than my parents ever were about the little things. Like career. As long as they're happy, what does it matter what they want to do?"
"And getting dirty. Because aren't all kids supposed to get mud on their clothes?" he asked.
"I think so. We're going to be perfect parents."
He grinned at her, and she realized they were sitting there talking about their children. Children they weren't going to have together. But, oh, they'd have great kids. Wild little hellions who could ride horses as soon as they were old enough to be put on one. And the kids would put on plays for them in Logan's big living room. The two of them would sit on the sofa and watch them, clapping when they finished.
It was a wild, ridiculous fantasy. One that would never come to fruition, because she and Logan were going to part ways as soon as the movie finished.
But it was a fun fantasy, because so far in her life all she'd seen in her future was movie on top of movie. Never a home, never kids.
Until now.
And she liked what she saw. She wanted that future. She ached for it so much it shocked her.
"You sure went quiet. Did that whole talking-about-kids thing freak you out?" he asked.
"Actually, no." She picked up her wine and took a sip.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Actually, no." She smiled at him over the rim of her glass. "Did it freak you out?"
"No. I'm older than you, though."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I don't know. I guess it's time I start thinking about settling down and having kids."
"I don't believe how old you are has much to do with when it's the right time to start a family. Many people never have kids. Some have them way early, some not at all. My sister is committed to never having children."
"Why not?"
She shrugged. "She doesn't see herself as a parent--ever. Which is fine, because that's her choice to make. She's perfectly content to build a career. She says if she ever finds someone to marry, he'll have to accept that she doesn't want children."
"I guess you're right. I've known a few people--and some couples--who decided not to have kids. It comes down to a matter of choice for everyone. For me, it's a legacy thing. I want to have someone to pass down my ownership in the ranch to."
"There are your brothers."
"That's true. And they might have children who want to be a part of the ranching business. Nothing would make me happier."
"Because your kids might want to be--oh, I don't know . . ." She studied him for a few minutes.
He laughed. "What?"
"Fashion models. Or maybe sell cosmetics."
He cocked a brow. "Now you'
re assuming I'm going to have all girls."
"What? Guys can't become fashion models or sell cosmetics? Very sexist of you, McCormack."
"Fine. My kids can do whatever the hell they want. Even become an actor or an actress. I just hope either one of my kids, or Luke's or Reid's, wants to be a damn rancher."
"There's nothing wrong with being a rancher. If one of my kids wanted to do that, I'd be so proud of them."
He gave her a searing look. "Seriously."
"Of course. It's a tough job, but an admirable one. Look at how hard you work. And look at the results. You're building a legacy for your heirs--and for your brothers' heirs, too. Not many people are tough enough to take that on. Who wouldn't be proud to have their children be a part of that legacy?"
He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her very thoroughly. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I should go and let you get some sleep. I'm sure you have a big day tomorrow, and so do I."
She stood and walked him to the door. She wanted him to stay, but they had gone through some heavy subject matter tonight. Her background, and having kids. Legacies. Their futures, both of them avoiding the topic of melding those futures together.
"I'll call you tomorrow," he said, pulling her against him to give her one last, barn-burning kiss that made her regret letting him leave.
"Okay."
He walked out and she shut and locked the door, then headed into her bedroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. She climbed into her bed and grabbed her script, intending to run through her scenes for tomorrow. But all she could think about was Logan. Each time she tried to get into character, his face swam before her eyes.
After an hour, she gave up on the script, laying it on the nightstand. She shut out the light, wishing Logan were lying next to her. The bed seemed cold and empty without his body against hers.
When her phone rang, she grabbed it and smiled.
"Didn't you just leave?" she asked.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"I was trying to study tomorrow's script. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"I don't like sleeping without you."
That made her smile. "Good. Because I'm not having any luck sleeping without you, either."
"Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I'll let you go."
"Screw that. Get your ass back over here so you can climb into my bed. I'll never get to sleep otherwise."
He laughed. "I'll be right there."
She hung up, then threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top, slipped into her sandals and walked toward the gate. Another beautifully clear night.