Paul was so excited he forgot where he was. He quickly raised his head. It bashed against the window frame, then he bounced forward and toppled out the window.
Leslie stared in horror at the open window, then rushed toward it. She leaned over the counter and looked down.
“Help!” gasped Paul.
There was one brick on the side of the building that stuck out a little farther than the others. Paul desperately held on to it with both hands.
“I’ll go get Louis,” said Leslie. “He’ll save you.”
“No, don’t go!” cried Paul. “I can’t hold on. My fingers are slipping!”
Leslie reached down for him. “Try to grab my hand,” she said.
Paul made a grab for it, but missed, then quickly clutched the brick. “I can’t! Help, I’m scared.”
“Just don’t look down,” said Leslie as she tried to stay calm. She pulled her head back in through the window.
“Where are you going!” cried Paul. “Help! Don’t leave me.”
Leslie looked around Mrs. Jewls’s room for a rope or an extension cord or something for Paul to grab, but she couldn’t find anything.
She returned to the window, sighed, then leaned out backward. Her hands tightly held the edge of the counter as she looked up at the sky. “Grab my pigtails,” she said, then winced.
A big smile came across Paul’s face. “Really?” he asked.
“Just do it!” said Leslie.
The pigtails hung about a foot above Paul’s head. He let go of the brick with his right hand and grabbed her right pigtail.
“Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!” Leslie yelped.
He grabbed her left pigtail with his left hand.
“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!” she screamed.
“Okay, pull me in,” said Paul. His legs dangled beneath him.
Leslie’s eyes watered in pain as she tried to step away from the window. “I can’t!” she groaned. “You’re too heavy.”
Paul swung his legs up against the side of the building. “Try now.”
Leslie groaned, then took a small step away from the window as Paul took a small step up the wall. Then they each took another small step. At last Paul managed to get one foot on top of the brick that jutted out.
Leslie pulled her head inside the window. As she took another step, Paul let go of one pigtail and grabbed the windowsill. Leslie took another step, pulling Paul the rest of the way through.
They both collapsed on the floor, tired and sore.
“Ooh, my head hurts,” said Leslie.
“Wow, you saved my life,” said Paul. “Well, don’t worry, someday I’ll save yours.”
“You don’t have to,” said Leslie. “Just don’t pull my pigtails anymore.”
“I won’t,” said Paul. Suddenly he laughed.
“What’s so funny?” asked Leslie.
“This time your pigtails pulled me.”
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Chapter 7
Freedom
Myron crumbled a cracker on the windowsill next to his desk, then looked away. He knew Oddly came only when nobody was looking.
A little while later a bird landed on the windowsill and ate the crumbs. Myron watched him out of the corner of his eye.
He was a black bird with a pink breast. Myron had named him “Oddly.” Myron had named him oddly.
“Is that your dumb bird again?” asked Kathy.
“No,” said Myron. “Oddly is not my bird. I don’t own him. He doesn’t live in a cage. Oddly is free!”
“You’re a birdbrain,” said Kathy.
Myron watched Oddly fly away. It made him sad and glad at the same time. He wished he could fly away across the sky with Oddly.
Oddly probably thinks I live in a cage, he realized. Whenever he sees me, I’m sitting in this same desk. He probably thinks this desk is my cage!
So Myron got out of his chair and sat on the floor.
“Myron, what are you doing out of your seat?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
“I want to sit on the floor,” said Myron.
Several kids laughed.
“Get back in your seat,” ordered Mrs. Jewls.
Myron reluctantly returned to his desk.
I do live in a cage, he thought. I’m not allowed out. I have to stay in my cage until the bell rings. Then I have to go down the stairs. Then when it rings again, I have to go up the stairs. Then when it rings again, I have to go down the stairs. Then when it rings again, I have to go up the stairs. I’m never free.
The bell rang.
Myron went down the stairs.
It was so crowded with kids rushing to recess that he couldn’t stop if he wanted. It was as if someone had lifted his cage and was carrying him down the stairs.
The bell rang again.
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Myron went up the stairs.
At lunch the bell rang again.
Myron went down the stairs.
After lunch the bell rang again.
Myron stood at the bottom of the staircase and looked up. “No!” he declared. “I won’t go. I have to be free!”
As all the other kids rushed past him, he eased his way around to the back of the stairs. As everybody else went up, Myron went down …
to
the
basement.
He nervously walked down the old creaky staircase. He didn’t know what he’d find, or what would find him. He had heard that dead rats were living down there, or worse, maybe even Mrs. Gorf!
Mrs. Gorf was the meanest teacher Myron had ever had. She used to be the teacher on the thirtieth story, before Mrs. Jewls took over. But nobody believed that Mrs. Gorf was really gone. Everyone said she was still lurking somewhere inside Wayside School.
He stepped off the last step, at the very bottom of Wayside School. It was too dark to see. Somewhere he heard a drip that echoed all around the cold and damp room.
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With his arms outstretched, he stepped across the gritty floor. His hand struck against a large, fat pipe above his head. The pipe felt like it was covered with a thousand spiderwebs. Still, Myron kept his finger on the pipe as he walked, so he wouldn’t get lost. As long as he stayed with the pipe, he knew he’d be able to find his way back to the stairs.
Something crawled across his hand. He shook it off, then continued walking.
He thought he heard footsteps behind him. He stopped walking. The sound of the footsteps continued for a second, then stopped.
He started again, then stopped. The footsteps stopped a few seconds later.
He wasn’t alone.
It was too dark for Myron to see who was following him, but he realized that meant that the person couldn’t see him either. Whoever was coming after him had to have been following along the pipe, too.
So Myron left the safety of the pipe and headed blindly across the basement.
The footsteps continued behind him.
He stopped.
The footsteps stopped, too.
He bent down, then untied and took off his right sneaker. He threw it toward the other side of the basement. He heard it hit on the floor, then the footsteps started after it.
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Very quietly, he took off his other sneaker and threw it in the same direction.
He never heard his shoe hit the ground.
The footsteps started after him again.
He started to run, but slipped in his socked feet on a spot of slime. His hands hit loud and hard as he fell on the cold floor.
The footsteps came hurriedly toward him.
He held his breath and tried to be as quiet as possible.
A light turned on above his head.
He screamed.
“I believe this is yours,” said a bald man. He was holding Myron’s left sneaker.
Next to him were two men with black mustaches. One of the men held a black attaché case.
Myron shook his head. “That’s not my shoe,” he said. “I never saw it before.”
The bald man glanced at Myron’s shoeless feet.
“What’s your name?” asked the man with the attaché case.
“Myron,” said Myron. He regretted it as soon as he had said it. He wished he had made up a fake name.
The man opened his attaché case and took out a notebook. “Myron,” he repeated, as he thumbed through the notebook. “You’re supposed to be in Mrs. Jewls’s class, at the desk next to the window, in front of Sharie.”
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“What are you doing out of your cage—I mean, seat?” asked the other man with a mustache.
“I just wanted to be free,” chirped Myron. “Please don’t hurt me. If you let me go back to Mrs. Jewls’s room, I’ll never come down here again.”
“Well, do you want to be free, or do you want to be safe?” asked the bald man.
“Huh?” asked Myron.
“You can’t have it both ways,” said the bald man.
“Do you want to be safe?” asked one of the men with a mustache. “Do you want to sit in the same chair every day, and go up and down the stairs every time the bell rings?”
“You’ll have go to school five days a week,” said the other man with a mustache. “And you’ll have to go to bed at the same time every day.”
“But first you’ll have to brush your teeth,” said the other man with a mustache.
“And you won’t be allowed to watch TV until you finish your homework,” said the other man with a mustache.
“You’ll have to go inside when it rains,” said the other man with a mustache.
“But first you’ll have to wipe your feet,” said the other man with a mustache.
“Or you can be free,” said the bald man.
The man took a pencil and a piece of paper out of his attaché case. “So do you want to be safe, or do you want to be free?”
Myron looked at the three men. “I want to be free,” he said bravely.
The man with the attaché case wrote something on the piece of paper and gave it to Myron. “Sign here,” he said.
Myron couldn’t read the piece of paper. It was written in some kind of foreign language. He signed his name.
The man took the paper and pencil from Myron and put them back into his attaché case. “Okay, you’re free,” he said.
“Good luck, Myron,” said the bald man. “Here, I think you’ll need this.” He gave Myron his left sneaker, then reached up and pulled the chain. The light turned off.
Myron found himself alone in the darkness. He put his shoe back on, then hopped across the basement floor. He had no idea how to get back.
At last his hand hit against a pipe. But he still didn’t know which way to follow it, left or right. He didn’t even know if it was the right pipe. He turned left and continued hopping, keeping his finger on the pipe.
He was just about ready to turn around and try the other way when he nearly fell over the bottom stair.
He hopped up the stairs, and continued hopping all the way up to Mrs. Jewls’s room.
He was tired, sore, and dirty.
“You’re late, Myron,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Go write your name under DISCIPLINE, then return to your seat for the arithmetic test.”
But Myron didn’t feel like taking an arithmetic test. And he definitely didn’t want to write his name on the board.
So he sat on the floor.
And there was nothing Mrs. Jewls could do about it.
He was free.
After school Mrs. Jewls found Myron’s other sneaker in the teachers’ lounge, in the refrigerator.
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Chapter 8
The Best Part
Todd brought a toy to school. It was a cute, adorable puppy dog. Everyone who saw it said, “Aw.”
“Aw,” said Jenny. “He has such a sweet face.”
“Aw,” said Stephen. “Look at her darling eyes.”
“Aw,” said Deedee. “Isn’t he the cutest puppy you’ve ever seen?”
“Aw,” said Calvin. “Isn’t she adorable?”
Joy sat at the desk behind Todd. Big deal, she thought. It’s just a hunk of plastic that happens to look like a dog.
But even though Joy didn’t like Todd’s toy, she decided to steal it.
“Wait,” said Todd. “Let me show you the best part.”
Before he could show them the best part, Mrs. Jewls rang her cowbell. “Take your seats!” she commanded. “The bell has rung!”
All the children returned to their desks.
“Todd, go write your name on the blackboard.”
Todd was the only one who had been in his seat, yet he was the one who got in trouble. That was typical.
Mrs. Jewls had a system. The first time someone got in trouble, he had to write his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE. The second time he got in trouble, he had to put a check next to his name. And if he got in trouble a third time, he had to circle his name and then go home early, at twelve o’clock, on the kindergarten bus.
Todd went home on the kindergarten bus every day. Some of the other kids thought he was lucky, but he wished just once he could make it to twelve o’clock without getting into trouble three times.
He walked to the front of the room and wrote his name on the blackboard under the word DISCIPLINE.
While Todd was at the board, Joy reached over her desk and into Todd’s. She felt around for the toy. But as she tried to lift it out, it caught on something and dropped to the floor.
Todd returned to his seat.
“Todd, is that your toy on the floor?” asked Mrs. Jewels.
“Hey, how’d that get there?” asked Todd.
“You know the rules, Todd,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Toys must be kept inside your desk, or else I take them. Now bring it here.”
Todd gave his toy to Mrs. Jewls.
“Awwww, how precious,” cooed Mrs. Jewls. “He’s the most lovable puppy I’ve ever seen.” She kissed Todd’s plastic puppy on its plastic nose. “I guess I can let you off this time,” she said. “But try to keep him in your desk.” She kissed Todd’s toy again, then handed it back to him. “You can erase your name from the board, too.”
Todd could hardly believe it. For the first time ever, he erased his name from the board.
As he headed back to his seat, Mrs. Jewls said, “Here, take a Tootsie Roll Pop too, for the sweeeeeet puppy.”
Todd was amazed.
So was Joy. Now, more than ever, she wanted that toy!
Out at recess everyone wanted to see Todd’s toy.
“It’s magic,” said Bebe. “It kept you from getting into trouble.”
“No, Mrs. Jewls is just a nice teacher,” said Todd. “Here, let me show you the best part.”
He grabbed hold of the dog’s tail and turned it like a crank. Suddenly the cute floppy ears stood straight up. The mouth opened wide, and the teeth grew into sharp fangs.
“Wow,” breathed Deedee.
Todd wasn’t finished. He pulled the dog’s nose and stretched out its face. The cheeks became thin and bony. The eyes were no longer sweet, but grim and frightening.
“What a great toy!” said Calvin.
The cute little puppy had turned into a mean, hungry, man-eating wolf.
“I still haven’t shown you the best part,” said Todd.
But before he could show them the best part, the bell rang, and everyone ran
up the stairs to class.
I’ve got to get that puppy dog, thought Joy as she stared at the back of Todd’s neck. Then I’ll never get in trouble again! She didn’t know Todd’s toy had changed into a man-eating wolf.
Her lunch box was on her lap. She quietly opened it and took out a carton of cranberry juice and a tiny straw.
She stuck the straw into the carton and sucked up some juice into it.
She waited for Mrs. Jewls to turn around, then blew the juice out of the straw. It splattered against Todd’s neck.
He slapped the back of his neck with his hand.
Joy laughed to herself. She sucked up some more juice, took careful aim, and fired.
Todd turned around, but Joy already had the straw out of her mouth and was looking down at her book.
Todd rubbed his neck and faced front.
Joy sucked up more juice and blew it onto Todd’s neck.
“Hey!” he shouted, turning around.
“Leave me alone, Todd—I’m trying to work,” said Joy.
“Todd, what’s the matter with you?” asked Mrs. Jewls. “I try to be nice, but you just take advantage. Now go write your name on the blackboard.”
Todd walked to the front of the room. He still thought Mrs. Jewls was the nicest teacher in the world. He looked up at the clock. It was almost eleven. I might just make it today, he thought. I just might make it. He started to write his name when he heard a loud scream.
He turned around and saw Joy jumping up and down and waving her hand in the air. His toy was biting her pinky, and she couldn’t shake it off.
“Help!” screamed Joy as she hopped around the room. “Todd, how do I get it off? Todd? Please?”
Todd smiled. “There,” he said. “That’s the best part.”
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Chapter 9
Mush
WARNING: Do not read this story right after eating. In fact, don’t read it right before eating, either. In fact, just to be safe, don’t read this story if you’re ever planning to eat again.
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Miss Mush wiped her hands on her apron. She smiled at the children who were lined up at the cafeteria. It warmed her heart to see how much they liked her food.