Forever yours,
Rory
The letter slipped from my hands as I stumbled over to the kitchen bar.
“Why?” I whispered to myself. “Why would she do this to me?” I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.
Flash barked at my side, causing me to jump and look back at the letter. Seeing the glass plate with the bread on it, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Glass shattered everywhere, and Flash ran into the bedroom.
I yelled louder, “Why, Rory? Why?”
Picking up a vase with flowers Rory had bought last week, I threw it against the wall.
“How could you do this to me?” My arm swept across the bar, causing everything to hit the floor in loud crashes.
“How could you do this?” I yelled out.
Spinning around, I grabbed whatever I could and started throwing it. Why would she do this? Why would she destroy my entire world?
Something inside of me snapped as I pushed my sofa over, kicked Flash’s kennel, and reached for anything I could while screaming out “Why?”
“You lied! You fucking lied! Motherfucker!”
“Finn! Stop!”
Spinning on my heels, I saw Regina standing in the doorway with a stunned look on her face.
“What is going on? It’s four in the morning. You’re going to wake everyone up.”
My legs started to feel weak. “She left me.”
Regina’s eyes widened in shock.
“What? That’s impossible. She loves you.”
Slowly shaking my head, I whispered, “She left me.”
The bottle of Jack caught my eye, and I grabbed it and started drinking.
“Finn. Please don’t do this.”
Paul walked up to me and tried to take the bottle from me. I looked directly into his eyes. “I can’t. I can’t live without her.” He nodded and turned to Regina.
“Wes is in town. I have his number. I’ll call him,” Regina said as Paul turned back to me.
“Let’s sit out on the balcony, Finn.”
I finished the bottle of Jack in record time, then moved on to beer, then fell into a stupor. When I came to, Paul was sitting next to me, along with Wes, who’d showed up at some point, unbeknownst to me.
Neither of them said a word, probably realizing that the alcohol had been the only thing that could numb my heart, that the darkness it provided was the only thing that could keep me from feeling, that I needed that darkness now, more than I ever had before in my life.
Chapter 47
Rory
Worst day of my life
I headed into the conference room, with Russell and Robert Long trailing behind me. My body felt numb. When I’d woken up in the hotel this morning, nothing in my life seemed to matter anymore. I felt so out of sorts from being away from my own home, but I knew that would be the first place Finn would come and look for me.
“You need to snap out of it, Rory. I have no idea what is wrong with you,” Russell whispered against my ear.
Glaring back at him, I replied, “I’m fine. Besides, I thought I was only here to sit next to you and look pretty. Wasn’t that what you said?”
He rolled his eyes. “Did you drink too much last night at a Halloween party or something? For Christ’s sake, I was kidding. Believe me, the fact that you blew Casey Long’s testimony out of the water is not lost on me. In your mother’s eyes, you’re the golden lawyer on this one.”
My body shook with anger. I hated Russell. Or maybe I hated myself more than anything else. Regina had sent me a text last night, and it had been haunting me since I’d read it at five-thirty this morning.
Finn is freaking out and tearing up his place. What happened, Rory? Please call me!
The buzzing of my phone caused me to jump. I feared it was Finn, but it was Autumn. Swiping up, I read her text.
Autumn: He was here this morning. I let him in because he didn’t believe you weren’t here. Rory, he begged me to tell him where you were. He was angry and I’m pretty sure drunk.
My heart pounded deafeningly in my chest. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.
Me: You didn’t tell him, did you?
Autumn: No. But I wanted to. Especially when the guy about broke down in tears. His brother Wes…who I might add is sexy as fuck…had to force him to leave. My heart broke for him. You need to tell him the truth, Rory. Let him decide if being a firefighter is worth losing you.
Tears filled my eyes.
Me: I can’t do that to him, Autumn. I won’t make him choose.
Autumn: Rory, you’re making the biggest mistake of your life.
Me: I’ve got to go, in a meeting.
Autumn: Of course. You always were good at two things Rory. Running from your feelings and letting your parents decide how to live your life.
My mouth dropped as I read her last text. What in the hell did that mean? I wasn’t running from my feelings.
Was I?
The door to the conference room opened, and Casey Stevens and her lawyer walked in.
I opened my briefcase, and my breath caught. There was another letter in there that was almost identical to the one my mother had given me from Finn on Friday night. I picked it up and read:
What I love about us…
To be opened on Monday, November 1.
Snapping my eyes up, I quickly glanced around the room. I was on the verge of a complete meltdown.
I slid the letter under my notebook and took in a deep breath.
Russell cleared his throat and got the room’s attention. I looked at him but didn’t hear a word he said, and soon I turned from him and just stared out the window. When had he put that in my briefcase? It had to have been last night when I was getting ready to go out to dinner.
What does it say?
Should I read it?
“Rory? Rory!”
My head jerked to look at Russell. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
“Ms. Stevens would like to withdraw all accusations against Mr. Long, as long as he agrees not to press any charges against her.”
I stole a glance over to Robert. He nodded his head. “I’m ready to move on so I can get back to work and get married.”
I glanced around at the roomful of lawyers and the judge. Standing, I cleared my throat and dug deep inside to get my shit together. “I suggest Ms. Stevens writes a letter of apology and reads it during a press conference, and the sooner the better. With Mr. Long being a public servant and the amount of press this case generated, that’s the best way to get it out that the accusations were false.”
Russell cleared his throat. “I agree; I think a public statement is a good idea.”
I watched as Casey Stevens’s face turned white as a ghost. She shot me a dirty look and turned to her lawyer. “This is insane. I simply tried to help out my sister, and now I have to go on TV and say I’m a liar.”
When she looked back at me, my brows lifted. “Are you not…a liar, Ms. Stevens?”
She went to speak, but the judge spoke before she could. “I don’t think asking you to make a public statement regarding your false accusations is any worse than you accusing an innocent man of sexual harassment, Ms. Stevens.”
The bitch’s lawyer spoke up before Casey Stevens could. “We’ll get it scheduled as soon as possible.”
“What? I’m going to lose my job if I go on TV and say I lied about this. This is not fair.”
I’d had enough of this lady. Hell, I’d had enough of everything. As I started gathering my things, I pierced her cold stare with one of my own. “You could be sitting your ass in jail, Casey. But Robert didn’t want that and asked the judge to go easy on you. Six months of probation and a hundred hours of community service is pretty damn fair, I think. I wouldn’t argue too much if I were you, unless you want to go to jail.”
It gave me great satisfaction to see her slink down in her chair some. And one quick peek at the judge’s smile told me he was satisfied with the outcome, too.
br /> “If you’ll excuse me, I’m late for a meeting,” I said.
Russell wore a stunned expression as he stood and followed me out of the conference room.
“Where in the hell do you think you’re going?” Russell asked as he grabbed my arm.
Looking down at his hand, I frowned. “Take your hands off me…now.”
He dropped his hand, then dragged it through his hair in frustration. “What was that, Rory? You went off on her and now you’re going to just leave? That was the most unprofessional thing I’ve ever seen.”
I laughed. “I doubt that, Russell. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late.” I turned toward the elevators.
“For?”
Stopping, I glanced over my shoulder. “It’s none of your business.”
“Running off to your manwhore again, Rory? How long are you going to take advantage of being the boss’s daughter?”
Heat raced through my veins as I walked directly up to him. “Do you have any idea how much of a total and complete asshole you are?”
He smirked. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it, sweetheart?”
I wasn’t sure what came over me. I pulled my arm back and put every ounce of energy into my swing. My fist hit him square on the chin, and he stumbled and hit the wall.
My hand ached instantly, and I wanted more than anything to let out a scream and cry. But I didn’t. Instead I lifted my chin and watched as he regained his composure.
“What in the hell is wrong with you? Don’t think I won’t be reporting this to your mother!”
With a smirk on my face, I replied, “Have fun with that, Russell.”
—
I stared out the window of my hotel room as tears streamed down my face. It felt as if there were a hole in the middle of my chest. The pain I was feeling was deserved. I’d done this to myself, because I didn’t have the guts to face my father, or to even let Finn face him.
As I thought about it now, I realized that a part of me knew deep down inside that the situation with Zeb had scared me more than I wanted to admit.
The letter sitting by my side caught my eye. Picking it up, I wiped my tears away and attempted to read it.
My sweet Éan,
This is hard, because there are so many things I love about us. I love how we feel when we are lying in bed in each other’s arms. I love how your laugh makes me feel alive. I love surprising you and seeing you get excited. I love that we can have fun together simply by hanging out and watching your favorite Disney movies.
But the thing I love most about us is that we have a future together. I see it, Rory, and I hope you see it, too.
All my love,
Finn
Closing my eyes, I buried my face in my hands and cried harder.
“What have I done?” I cried. “God, what have I done?”
The light tap on the door caused me to jump. Wiping the tears from my face, I held my breath.
He found me.
My stomach dropped at the idea of Finn coming after me. Would he? He’d gone to my condo looking for me, so surely he would keep looking. Would he know to come to the hotel we had been to?
I prayed he would.
“Rory? Darling?”
The feeling of disappointment washed over my body. I slowly made my way to the door and looked out the peephole to see my mother and Autumn.
“Damn you, Autumn,” I whispered. Unlocking the door, I opened it and walked back into the suite.
“Rory, you weren’t answering your phone, and then when your mom called and said you left work, I freaked and got worried.”
Glancing back to Autumn, I forced a smile. “It’s okay.”
My mother walked up to me and tried her best to give me that stern yet loving look that moms give. “Rory darling, you can’t hide out in a hotel room.”
Sadness ripped through me. “Why not, Mom? I feel sad and want to be alone. What’s so wrong about that?”
She placed her hands on my arms. “You’re hiding, that’s what is wrong about that. Darling, why didn’t you tell Finn the truth?”
Dropping my head back, I groaned in frustration. “Not you, too.”
“Yes me, too. Had you told him what your father was doing, you know he would have—”
“Quit. He would have quit, Mom. You and I both know that.”
She shook her head. “You didn’t give him the chance to fight the battle, Rory.”
My lips trembled as I looked into my mother’s eyes. “I was going to tell him, Mom. That night after dinner. I went over it in my head a million times. Who knows, maybe Finn could transfer to another station. We’d come up with something…together. All I really knew for sure was how much I loved him and that I wouldn’t walk away from him because my father told me to.”
My mother gave me a confused look. “Then what in the world happened, Rory?”
A knot formed in my stomach. My fear of Finn’s losing his job no longer was my number one concern. It was my fear of losing him that had caused me to walk away.
“One of his best friends was in the hospital in critical condition last night from falling through a floor in a warehouse fire. The moment I heard him talking about it, I panicked. Even the idea of Dad’s ultimatum was nothing compared to the thought of Finn dying. All I could think about was this man’s fiancée and how scared she must have been knowing the man she loved could very well die. I don’t think I’m strong a enough person to handle that, Mom.”
Fresh tears came and covered my cheeks. Autumn walked up and hugged me as I let myself go. Sob after sob shook my body.
When I finally got my emotions in check, I drew back and looked at my mother and Autumn. “I don’t know what to think anymore. Maybe a small part of me was looking for a reason to end it with Finn because I’m too much of a coward to deal with it all. It’s just…I love him so much, and I’m not sure about anything in my life anymore.”
Stepping forward, my mother gave me a concerned look. “What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure what I want anymore, Mom. I’m not happy, and I haven’t been for the last few years. The only time I’ve felt whole was when I was with Finn. Now I feel like I’ve lost my dreams and the man I loved.”
She frowned. “Your dreams?”
My gaze dropped to the floor. “It was never my desire to be a lawyer, Mom.”
“That’s not true, Rory! You majored in history. It’s in your blood.”
Suddenly it was as if everything I had buried deep down inside of me came bubbling up to the surface all at once. My mother deciding Harvard was the school for me. My father deciding the condo he liked was much safer than the condo I wanted, the one that overlooked the harbor. My parents pushing me into law school to be like my mother. Sunday dinners with my parents so they could keep tabs on me. My father telling me whom I could date. My mother insisting I take a job at her firm. My whole life had been mapped out by my parents.
No more.
“Mom, you controlled my career path. Dad controlled my personal life. It’s time I took control of my own life.”
Autumn’s face grew wide with a smile. I knew she was happy I was finally standing up for myself.
The look on my mother’s face showed she was in complete shock. “What would you do if you weren’t a lawyer, Rory? This is simply insane. You love being a lawyer.”
I squared my shoulders off, lifted my chin, and spoke the words I feared would give my mother a heart attack. “No, Mom. You love being a lawyer. I simply do it because it was expected of me. What I really want to do is teach. I want to help people. I want to live in a house that has a huge backyard for my kids to run around in. I want to grow a giant garden and have flowers planted everywhere. Meeting Finn opened my eyes to what I really want, have always wanted, in my life.”
My mother’s eyes widened in shock. “What exactly are you saying, Rory?”
My eyes darted over to Autumn, who winked and nodded.
My mouth instantly dried and I was nervous
as hell, but I told my mother exactly what I intended on doing. “I’m quitting the firm. I don’t want to practice law any longer. I think I’m going to leave town for a few days, figure out how I’m going to win Finn back.”
“Quit the firm? You’re walking away from a highly promising career…for what?”
“Happiness, Mom. A life I look forward to getting up to every day and living. Not a life where I’m going through the motions trying to prove to myself day in and day out that I’m more than just the boss’s daughter. What I want to prove now is that I can make a life with the man I love.” I smiled. “That’s what I’m walking away to, Mom. And I’m walking away from the life you and Dad wanted, not me.”
My mother shook her head, as if trying to shake out the words I had just thrown at her. “You’re not thinking clearly. You’re going to regret this, Rory. I’ll talk to your father. We’ll get this straightened away and make him see how wrong he is about Finn. He was being stubborn, but I know we can make this right. Finn will not lose his job.”
I shook my head. “No, Mom. I’m not sure when I’m going to be able to forgive Daddy for what he did…or myself for listening to him. For all I know, Finn hates me right now. I was stupid and naïve to ever let Dad strong-arm me. I love you and love that you support me regarding Finn, but I don’t want your help in this. I made the mistake; now I have to figure out how to fix it.”
“Rory, you don’t mean all of that,” my mother said.
I took her hands in mine. “I do. Mom: Please, for once in my life, let me do things the way I want to do them. Let me make my own choices in life. Please.”
A tear slipped from her eye. “I never meant to force you into something you didn’t want to do.”
I drew her into my arms, and we hugged. “I know, Mom. I know.”
She pulled back and wiped her tears away. “I’m here for you if you need anything. Especially help with your father—who, I might add, is in the doghouse for his little confession Friday night and this whole insane thing with threatening Finn’s job.”
With everything else going on, I had totally forgotten about my father’s confession.