Chapter 49
Rory
Moving forward
My heart raced as I listened to the live dispatch from the Boston Fire Department.
“Engine 33, all members are safely out of the building.”
“Fire alarm answering Engine 33, all members are out of the building.”
I let out the breath I was holding and fell back against the sofa. My heart raced as I dragged in one breath after another to calm myself down.
“Holy shit. No wonder this was a concern of yours. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Rory, you can’t do this to yourself. You’ll go insane.”
With a nod, I replied, “I know, Autumn.” Sitting up, I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. “But I have to know he’s okay.”
My cellphone vibrated on the coffee table before ringing. It was an unknown number.
“Hello?”
“Rory Adams?”
I was instantly on guard. “Yes, this is Rory Adams.”
“Rory, this Professor Williams at Harvard University.”
With a grin, I replied, “Hello, Professor Williams. How are you doing?”
He chuckled. “I’m doing well. And how are you enjoying practicing law? Have you gotten that real-world experience I talked about?”
I chuckled. “Well, if you mean working day and night and taking every case I possibly could…then yes, I’ve gotten real-world experience. But…I’ve left my mother’s practice. I’ve decided I no longer want to practice law.”
“Really? How interesting. What are your plans?” he asked.
Standing, I moved to the window and looked out at the snow flurries. “Honestly, I’d love to teach.”
“Rory, you just made me one happy man.”
I chuckled. “Why is that, Professor?”
“Because I’m thinking of offering you a job.”
A smile spread across my face. Autumn mouthed, “What?”
Holding up my finger, I asked, “What kind of job?”
“A teaching position. A course in union law. I saw the news conference a few weeks ago, and when your name was mentioned I took that as a sign. I’ve had a note to call you.”
I jumped up and down like a schoolgirl. Autumn giggled. “Yes! I’d very much like to speak with you regarding a teaching position. I mean, I’m somewhat up in the air right now about things, but I’d love to speak with you regardless.”
“Great. Shall we meet for coffee tomorrow at Crema Cafe, let’s say around eleven?”
“I’ll be there.”
“I’m looking forward to talking to you, Rory.”
I had to bite on my cheek to contain my excitement. “As am I, Professor Williams. See you tomorrow.”
“Goodbye, dear. Have a good afternoon.”
The call ended, and I let out a scream.
“What was that all about?” Autumn asked as someone knocked on my front door.
“The first step to my new life,” I replied as I rushed to the door and opened it. Pulling Clare into the room, I grabbed her hands and started jumping around again. Clare laughed and joined right in.
“Did you and Finn get back together?”
Instantly, it felt as if the air had been sucked from the room. The pain that had settled into my chest for the last two weeks returned with a vengeance.
With a frown, I shook my head. “No. He hasn’t returned any of my calls or answered any of my texts. I’ve even tried to go and see if I can catch him leaving his place, but I never see him.”
Clare squeezed my hands. “Don’t give up. Keep texting. Keep calling. Just give it time.”
Autumn walked over with a wide grin. “Rory’s been offered a teaching position!”
Clare sucked in a breath. “What? That’s amazing.”
Laughing, I held up my hands. “Well, hold on. He only wants to talk to me about a teaching position. I haven’t been offered anything, and I’m not sure teaching a law class is what I had in mind when I said teaching.”
“Rory, that’s amazing, though. How crazy is that? What do they want you to teach?”
“Union law,” I replied.
“Right up your alley,” Autumn said with a thumbs-up.
“Professor Williams was my advisor, and he told me right before I graduated from law school that he wanted me to go and get some real-world experience, then come back and teach at Harvard. I laughed it off at the time, because I didn’t think it would ever happen. Well, I guess he heard my name on the news conference a few weeks back and decided to reach out. I’m not sure it’s what I want, but I’m definitely going to hear him out.”
“Good!” Clare said. “It gets your foot in the door at Harvard, if that’s the road you choose.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I really need to think about what I’m going to do, and soon. My rent is pretty expensive. I’ve got about eight months of rent saved, so that buys me some time.”
Clare and Autumn both stared at me with dumbfounded expressions.
“Holy shit,” Autumn gasped. “So that’s what grown-ups do with all the money they don’t use on going out and buying beer?”
I stared at her for a second before I busted out laughing. Clare rolled her eyes and added, “Here I thought my two months of rent was good enough. Rory, why must you be such an overachiever.”
Rolling my eyes, I motioned for Clare to stop talking. “Hey, we should go out and celebrate me moving on with this part of my life.”
Both Clare and Autumn grinned. “Hell yes. You need to get out and party. Enjoy life a little bit and stop worrying about your hot firefighter.”
My smile faded. “I’m not so sure he’s mine anymore.”
Clare held up her finger. “He’s not yours right now, but he will be.”
I wished I had the confidence they both had. As the days had gone by and I’d heard nothing from Finn, I’d grown more and more worried that he was moving on. I’d spent the last two weeks crying myself to sleep. For all I knew, Finn was out partying it up again like he used to do before we met. The thought made my stomach ache.
“Let’s find you something sexy to wear,” Autumn said as Clare clapped her hands and followed us into my bedroom.
—
The music was loud. My dress was so tight I could hardly breathe. Guys wouldn’t stop staring at my breasts. And I was not feeling like myself.
And I was having a good time.
It was the first time in two weeks I was letting go of the worry and heartache—mostly. My heart still ached and I couldn’t stop thinking about Finn, but I was having fun, for the sake of my friends and my own sanity.
“Another drink?” Autumn shouted.
I stood. “My turn to buy this time.”
She gave me a thumbs-up as I grabbed the three empty beer bottles and made my way to the bar. Trying to get through the packed bar was insane. I had rubbed against so many men and women I felt like I needed a cigarette.
I sit the empty bottles on the bar and motioned to the bartender for three more. Two girls stumbled up next to me, clearly trashed out of their minds.
“God, I need to get mindlessly fucked.”
The guy on the other side of them snapped his head and smiled. Rolling my eyes, I waited for the bartender to bring me the beers.
“Too bad you couldn’t break the hot firefighter.”
That caught my attention. Leaning a little closer, I tried to hear what they were saying, but only caught every other word.
“He’s…not going…old girlfriend…pining over…cock.”
My eyes widened as I turned to face them. They were barely twenty-one, if that.
The blonde caught my stare. “I’m not into that. Sorry.”
I laughed and held up my hands. “Me either. You mentioned a firefighter?”
She nodded. “Yeah, there’s a whole group of them here. Two of them are fucking hot as hell. But they are both no-goes.”
Leaning in, I asked, “Why?”
She motioned she couldn’t hear
me. “Why are they no-goes?”
With a pout, she made the letter X with her fingers. “Pining over their ex-girlfriends. Whoever they were, they were stupid bitches!”
I laughed. The bartender set the three beers down in front of me.
Turning back to the girls, I smiled and shouted, “Be safe and have fun, ladies.”
They yelled out in unison, “Girls’ night!”
With a lighter heart, I headed back to our table. Right as I got there, I stopped.
Finn. He’s here. I can feel it.
I spun around looking for him.
“Um, if you want to dance, Rory…can you put the drinks down first?” Autumn shouted.
“What?” I asked as I kept searching feverishly. My heart was racing and there was a growing tightness in my chest.
“Finn’s here.”
Clare jumped up. “What?”
“How do you know?” Autumn asked.
How did I explain to them I had a feeling? They would both think I was nuts.
I climbed onto the chair and started looking.
“What are you doing, Rory?” Clare shouted.
“He’s here! I want to see if he’s with someone.”
“Ohmygod. She’s going to get us kicked out!” Autumn yelled.
I scanned the entire club. I was feeling a bit dizzy and wished I had eaten a bit more before we went out. “She said ‘group!’ Look for a large group of guys!” I called out.
Clare climbed onto her chair. “This is insane. What if he sees you?”
Autumn reached up and tugged on our arms. “He’s not even here, you idiots! Get down!”
“Ladies, are you looking for a dance partner?”
Glancing down, I looked at the guy smiling at us. “No. We’re not.”
His smile dropped and he quickly moved on to the next woman.
Shaking her head, Clare yelled out, “I don’t see a large group of guys! Maybe they left?”
I needed to talk to Finn. If that meant tracking him down in a damn club I’d do, it and I didn’t care if I made myself look like a fool.
“I know how to disperse the crowd!” I yelled.
Clare turned to me with a horrified look. “No, Rory. Don’t do it. Don’t call out F.I.R.E.!”
I gave her a surprised look. “I’m not going to yell fire!”
“Fire? Fire? There’s a fire?” the young girl walking by screamed out.
“No!” Clare and I both screamed, “NO FIRE. NONE!”
The girl spun around and looked at us. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? You could have caused a stampede! Crazy-ass women!”
She stomped off, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“We need to get a line dance going,” I said. The music had finally stopped and the DJ was taking a quick break.
“We’re not in a country bar, Rory!” Clare replied.
“Keep looking! The crowds are dispersing!”
“Rory?”
The sound of his voice made my entire world come to a standstill. Clare grabbed my hand as I turned and saw Finn. There was a girl standing next to him, looking up at me like I was insane.
He’s here with someone.
I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to hurt even more than it already did.
He’s moved on.
I swallowed hard and started to get off the chair. Finn reached out and grabbed me by the waist, helping me down. My entire body came to life. Tingles raced across my skin as I gazed into his eyes.
“Let me help you,” he said as his eyes lit up. He felt it. I knew he felt it, too.
“You’re going to break your neck.”
I turned to see Wes helping Clare down. They way they looked at each other had me smiling. Until Finn asked, “What are you doing here?”
His anger-filled question pissed me off. Here he was with some bimbo who was clearly barely old enough to drink and he was asking what I was doing here.
“Celebrating a possible new job.”
His brows lifted.
“Well, not really yet. I’m not sure if I want the job.”
“Promotion?”
My eyes drifted over to the girl next to him. She smiled and reached her hand out. “Hi there. I’m Alexia.”
Tears formed in my eyes, and I hated myself for letting my jealousy show. “Angie’s friend. I’m here with Angie and Wes.”
“And me,” Finn added.
Alexia looked at Finn, then back to me.
I nodded and forced the next words out. “It’s nice to…uh…it’s nice to meet you, Alexia.”
“It’s um…it’s great meeting you finally. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
My brows pinched together in confusion. Why would Finn be talking to his date about me? I chewed on my lip as I took in every inch of her before focusing back on Finn. “I’ve been calling. Have you gotten my messages?”
He didn’t say a word.
I took a step closer to him and he backed away, causing me to draw a sharp intake of air. Could he not even stand to be near me? “Finn, please will you let me talk to you? Please?”
He directed his gaze over my shoulder before looking back into my eyes. “We were just leaving. You guys have fun celebrating.”
“Finn!” I cried out as I grabbed his arm.
“Don’t touch me, Rory,” Finn shouted. When he pulled his arm from my grasp, I stumbled back and nearly fell. Colton had to steady me.
A look of horror moved across Finn’s face. He gently took me by the arms. “I’m sorry, Éan. Are you okay?”
He’d used my pet name, and I felt a small spark of hope rush through my body. The only thing I could do was answer him truthfully. “No. I’m far from okay, Finn.” Tears instantly poured from my eyes. “I’m lost without you. Please talk to me. Please let me explain.”
He searched my face as his eyes watered. “I can’t. I can’t do this again.”
Dropping his hold on me, he turned and walked away. I tried to call out his name, but it came out as a whispered “Finn” instead.
Alexia walked up to me. “I’m not with him. I swear to you he’s been alone all night, and I think he was only trying to make you jealous by making you think we were on a date.”
I nodded, then forced a smile. I felt so tired all of a sudden. “Thank you, Alexia.”
With a sympathetic look, she turned on her heels and followed Finn and Wes toward the door. Colton walked up to me and drew me into his arms. Burying my face in his chest, I cried.
“Why won’t he let me explain? I love him, Colton.”
He pushed me back at arm’s length. “Why then, Rory?”
Fighting for air, I forced the words out. “My…father. He threatened to fire…Finn! I didn’t…know…what to do!”
A shocked expression hit Colton’s face. “What? He threatened you with Finn’s job?”
Clare walked up to us. “Rory’s father told her if she didn’t break up with Finn, he was going to have him fired. She didn’t know what else to do.”
Colton turned back to me. “Rory, you should have told Finn this.”
Frantically wiping my tears away, I replied, “I know! But I didn’t want him picking me over his job. I know how much he loves his job.”
I didn’t feel right. Damn it, why had I been drinking without eating anything? I started to feel dizzy. Placing my hand to my head, I tried to concentrate.
“He’s quitting. Finn’s leaving the department.”
It felt like someone had sucker-punched me in the gut. I struggled for air.
“W-what?”
“Rory, as much as he acts like he doesn’t want you in his life, he thinks one of the reasons you left was because of what happened to Zeb. When his brother Wes said he was moving back to Boston, Finn decided to go full-time with their business. He’s leaving the department for good.”
The entire room started to spin. It had all been for nothing. I’d lost the only man I’d ever loved…for nothing.
“Something??
?s wrong,” I mumbled as my vision started to blur.
“Rory? Are you okay?” Clare asked.
Colton snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Rory?”
“It was all for nothing.”
“Colton! You have to go get Finn. Make him listen to her,” Autumn begged.
“I’ve tried! So has Wes. For the last two weeks Angie has begged him to call Rory. He’s not listening to anyone.”
Darkness grew closer and closer as the three of them grew distant in my vision. Their voices became harder to hear and sounded dragged out. Everything was moving in slow motion.
“I’m not feeling well,” I whispered as I felt my legs go.
Clare yelled out my name, but the only thing I could say was, “Finn.”
My mind finally settled.
The pain was gone.
All I could see were his beautiful emerald eyes staring back into mine.
Finn.
Chapter 50
Finn
This isn’t happening
Slamming shut the door to my condo, I glanced around for Regina and Flash. “Regina?”
Nothing.
I made my way to the kitchen and saw a note.
Flash is having a sleepover at my place! I’ll have him back to you first thing in the morning.
Crumpling the note, I tossed it into the trash. I reached for a warm beer from the six-pack sitting on my bar. I’d bought it earlier today and forgot to put it in the refrigerator. Popping the top, I took a large drink. It would normally have bothered me that it wasn’t cold, but tonight I didn’t give a shit. Tonight I didn’t feel a damn thing.
With beer in hand, I walked out to the balcony and sat. The middle-of-the-night cold air settled in around me like a blanket. I tried to push the look on Rory’s face out of my mind. Fought to forget the way she cried after I practically knocked her down by mistake. Forced myself not to hear the pleading in her voice when she begged to speak with me.
I took another drink. The sounds of the city filtered up to me. I was finished with everything. Tomorrow I was telling Captain Adams I was done. Wes and I were taking off for two weeks to Florida on a fishing trip. It would do me good to get my head cleared and figure out everything with Rory. I needed to forgive her. I had to forgive her. I was miserable as fuck without her. My only fear was her breaking my heart again.