I had gotten up close to her on Monday morning, when we're in the kitchen scrubbing up the breakfast pots.
"You don't know the little weasel like I do. You'll catch something from him. Or he'll give you a baby and run away to sea."
"I can't believe that," she softly says.
"What's he promised?"
"That he'd think of nothing but me when he's out on the sea."
"That's prolly true," I admits, "but that don't mean much. Will you give him any token?"
"A lock of my hair, braided and tied up in one of my ribbons."
"Aye, and it's lovely I'm sure, Annie, and he'll show that to all his mates so they'll think he's a mighty lover what's broken many a young girl's heart, yours included, you can be sure of that, too."
"But what's the harm in that? I know that I'll probably never see him again after tomorrow, but it's nice to dream on things, sometimes."
"Harrumph," I grumps. It occurs to me that I'm prolly acting a lot like Mistress right now.
"He said he'd swing in his hammock at night with the lock clutched in his hand and next to his heart and all fear banished from his mind, knowing I was safe and warm back on land, no matter what cruel fate awaited his poor self."
"Oh, please, that's what they all say. Davy does have a gift of gab, I'll own, if nothing else," I say, thinkin' back to when he talked himself aboard the Dolphin when there was plenty more boys bigger and stronger than him. Then again, I done the same thing. But he's prolly not lyin' about lying there in the dark with the token to his breast, for it does get cold and lonely out there. "All right. Just you be careful is all. The Davy I remember don't think with his head, that's for sure. What's the rascal got planned for today?"
"Just a walk in the Common. Then a bite to eat, and then I got to go home at my usual time, you know that, or else my father would kill me."
"Well, you mind the tall grass in the Common, Annie."
"I know how to be careful, Jacky. You're the one what needs to be more careful, from what I've heard."
I ain't got nothin' to say to that.
Davy comes up the hill at about eleven in the morning and I'm layin' for him. I've been about jumpin' out of my skin all yesterday and today, I'm so keen to talk to him.
I head him off at the kitchen door. "Come with me," I say, and we go around to the side and then we're up in my room.
"Keep your voice down and if anyone tries that door, you dive out the window, you hear?" I had put a small wooden wedge under the door to keep us from being surprised.
"Pretty nice kip," says Davy. "How come you're separate from the others?"
"I got busted down from lady to serving girl," I say, makin' myself not hang my head.
"Sounds like something you'd do." He tests the bed. "Why don't you call down for Annie to pop up here for a bit?"
"She's a good girl and a nice girl and a good friend to me and I don't want the likes of you to hurt her—"
"Ah, Jacky Faber, the Mother Superior, lookin' out for her little flock, ain't that sweet..."
"I mean it, Davy..."
"Still the bossy one, ain't you, Jacky? Now boys, dress up in these pretty little uniforms I made for ye! Now boys, stand up all straight in a line here! Now boys, wear the cute little caps! Now boys...." He looks at me all serious. "Look, Jacky, she's the first real girl I've met since I got on the Dolphin— you don't meet many of 'em in my line of work, you might recall—and, hell, I've only been ashore about a week and a half total since I signed on to this jolly seafarin' life."
"Still..."
He sneers and pokes me on the breastbone with a stiff finger. "No real girls, 'cept for you, of course, but you never did me much good in that way, savin' it all for Jaimy like you was ... and is, I reckon. Aww ... is that your Jaimy up there on your wall now?"
Davy and I are back in our old stance—nose to nose, eyes narrowed, lower lips jutting out, fingers pointing, each at the other, and snarling.
"You don't know what it's like to be me, Davy, then or now."
"Maybe I don't care what it's like to be a bossy, pigheaded little Cockney chambermaid what thought she was gonna be a lady."
That hurts me and I jerk like I've been hit. I got nothin' to say to that. He knows he hit home 'cause he looks a little ashamed and he don't follow it up with any more jibes.
I make an effort to settle down. Fighting with Davy over female virtue ain't exactly what I had planned for this morning. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to hurt her is all."
"I'm not going to hurt her, Jacky." He says this gently and I half believe him.
"All right," I say, calm now. I sit down in my chair and fold my hands in my lap. "Please, now tell me what's up with jaimy."
Davy goes over and flops down on my bed. He has gotten longer and leaner, for sure. He is turning into a fine-looking man and it is easy to see why Annie is taken with him. "All right, jack, I'll tell you." He picks up my pillow and sniffs it and then crams it back under his head. I'm glad to see there is no tar in his hair.
"On the way back to England, he was Mr. Midshipman and Tink and me and Willy was Ordinary Seamen, so our paths didn't cross much anymore, but I will say that Jaimy never lorded it over us but always found a way, like if he had to give us an order, to do it in a way that didn't make us feel like dirt. And, sometimes, if we was some of us on watch in the middle of the night, we'd sit and talk and joke like in the old days. Then we rounded Margate and were taken into the docks on the Thames and little men with notebooks swarmed over the Dolphin and declared she was not fit for sea, her knees having been weakened by the blast of the pirate's fireship that day," says Davy. "You got something to drink here?"
I had sat on the edge of the bed to listen and I got up and got him a glass of cider from the jug I had put up here for just such a purpose. It is a little bit hard, and I figure, shamelessly, that it might loosen his tongue a bit.
"Ummm," he says. "Good."
He puts the glass down on my bedside table and taps it with his finger. I fill it up again. "I like you as a servin' girl, Jacky," he says. I give him a low growl. He goes on.
"Anyway, we're back and the Dolphin's crew is bein' broke up and Tink and Willy and me volunteer to go on the Raleigh, and bein' seasoned man-o-war's men we are taken on, and we're happy that at least some of the Brotherhood is still together, but then some brass hat from the Endeavor comes aboard and he outranks our Captain and he takes a bunch of men, includin' Tink, to his ship, and then two days later another bleedin' Captain comes up and takes Willy and some others for the Temeraire. Pissed us off, it did, but what could we do?
"But anyway, the Raleigh is layin' next to the Essex, which Jaimy is posted to, and he comes over and says to come to his house and where's Tink and Willy, but I says they're gone to sea, it's just him and me now, so we go off together, brothers again as soon as we're out of sight of the Royal Navy and we gets in a coach and I'm feelin' like a proper nob, I am, and we're laughin' and rememberin' old times, but then we get to his house, which is a pretty fine place, I can tell you, and we go in and I meet his mother, and that dragon takes one look at me and I'm off to the servants' quarters for a meager bite with cold tea and then I'm out the back door by myself. I ain't seen Jaimy since then as the Raleigh made sail the next day and I was gone."
"He didn't try to find you after his mother sent you off downstairs?"
"He was going upstairs to change clothes and I'll wager when he come back down his dear mother had some sort of story for him. Like I ran off after a scullery maid, or got sick or something." Davy draws a long breath. "It was like she didn't want Jaimy to have anything to do with his past life or anybody who was in it. Which is funny considerin' the money that put her family back on its feet come from the likes of us."
I thinks on this and says, "Life ain't fair sometimes, Davy."
"For sure, Jacky."
"What about Liam?" I ask, avoiding the big question for a bit.
"His plan was to take his prize money
and light out for his farm in Ireland where his wife and kids were. Whether or not he made it past the press-gangs, I don't know. Saw Snag in a tavern a little later and he seems to think that Liam made it."
Good for you, Liam. I wish you the joy of your farm and your family.
"Jaimy. Did he say anything about me?" I prepare myself for the blow.
"He talked about nothin' but you and I know he checked with every ship that come in from the States to see if you had sent him a letter, but he never got one. There was the Plymouth and the Juno and the Shannon..."
"The Shannon?" I cries, and jumps up. "I sent a letter on the Shannon and the midshipman who took it from me knew where Jaimy lived and swore that he would deliver it to the house and I believed him!"
"And I'll bet he was as good as his word, Jacky," says Davy quietly and shuts up, letting me figure it out on my own. Which I do.
I sit back down on the edge of the bed. "His mum prolly wants him to marry a fine lady. Which I ain't. And which is why she ain't lettin' my letters get through to him. And now he ain't got no letters from me and prolly thinks I've gone off with someone else."
"That's the way I'd cipher it out, Jacko," says Davy. "And the story of you running around in the riggin' of the Excalibur and takin' a dip in your drawers didn't help none, neither."
"You heard of that?"
"Everybody's heard of that," he says, and then mimics my voice. "'Ain't no sailor alive what can catch Jacky Faber in the riggin'!' Oh, you're famous, you are! Famous in legend and song, just like you always wanted!" He rocks back and forth with glee.
"Hush now, you!" I hisses at him. "Someone will hear!"
"Captain Morgan of the Excalibur has let it be known that he will run his sword through you at next meeting, and if he has to hang for it, so be it!" he crows. "And I hope to God I'm there as witness!"
"All right. Enough," I says. "I will have a letter for you on the day after tomorrow, when next you have liberty, to deliver to Jaimy. Be good to Annie or I'll find a sword to run through you. Now get out. We've got to get ready to serve dinner."
Davy gets up and says, "Gladly, as I got someone to meet." With a wink, he is out the window.
Chapter 33
Jacky Faber
In care of Miss Amy Trevelyne
Dovecote Farm
Quincy, Massachusetts, United States
November 8, 1803
Mr. James Fletcher, Midshipman
On Board the Essex, on Station
Dear Jaimy,
If you are reading this letter, you will know that I met Davy in Boston when his ship made port here. It was a great joy to see him and it was an even greater joy to hear from him that you were well the last time he saw you.
It was with great sorrow, though, that I learned that you have not gotten even one of the many letters that I have sent to you by way of the ships of the Royal Navy that have come to this harbor. It fair broke my heart, it did, to know that you have not been assured of my love for you and have probably gone off into the arms of another by now. Alas, I have not gotten any letters from you, either, and that has been the hardest part of my life here, not knowing how you fare and if you think of my poor self, if at all.
I must now write of something that may distress you: In talking to Davy, he said that you said that you didn't get a letter when the Shannon docked there. Jaimy, I sent a letter on that very ship by way of a very kind and honorable officer who knew your address and promised me that you would get the letter. I know he was as good as his word. There's only one thing we can cipher from this: Someone in your house has not been passing my letters on to you. I will not insult you by telling you who I think it is, but I think you will be able to figure it out. From now on I will send my letters to you on your ship direct.
Whoever has been reading my letters knows that I continue in my love for you in spite of your long silence. If you should want to write to me, please do it to the above address, as I don't know where I will be from one day to the next and I am sure that Mistress Pimm here at the school would not give me any of your letters, as she doesn't approve of sailors and she ain't given me any yet.
All that I have written of my life here has been lost and into it all again I cannot go, at least not now. Let it be enough to say that I am happy and have many new and dear friends, but I have been demoted to serving girl because I got in a bit of trouble. After I got busted down I sent you a letter saying if you didn't want me anymore because of that or anything else, then I was releasing you from your vow of marriage to me, which I here repeat again.
I am enclosing a miniature painting I did of myself in hopes that you might like to look at it sometimes. I have done one of you such as my poor memory and even poorer talent serve, and it hangs over my bed. Your ring rests close to my heart.
It filled my heart with hope to hear from Davy that you did talk fondly of me the last time he saw you. I am still your girl, if you still want me to be that.
With all my love,
Jacky
Chapter 34
I'm putting the finishing touches on my miniature painting of Annie—one more little dab of blue right ... there. Good.
We set her up on a stool in the kitchen cause the light's better down there and she's sittin' there all blushin' in my blue dress that I made on the Dolphin, the one with the low front 'cause I copied it from the one Mrs. Roundtree was wearin' that day she set me straight on the facts of life—Mrs. Roundtree bein' one of the ladies on Palma, where we made our first liberty call, and copying my dress from hers, considerin' her particular profession, was prolly a mistake—well, what did I know, at the time?
I really think I got Annie pretty good: honey brown ringlets hanging by her cheeks, a ribbon in her hair matching the dress, her upturned nose all jaunty, and a saddle of light freckles over the blush of her cheeks. I'm right proud of this one and it is with a fiendish delight that I lean over my work and paint the bodice of the dress even lower than it actually is 'cause I know it'll drive that imp Davy stark raving mad with lust when he's far away at sea. And with Annie havin' a lot more on top than me, I say let's make those parts extra plump and peachy, what's the harm?
"There," I says. I put the oval watch glass over the ivory disk and snap the frame down. Then I put Annie's braided lock of hair around the whole thing and bind it up with the blue ribbon. You really don't deserve this, Davy. Then I show it to Annie and the Sisterhood.
Squeals all around.
"Oh, do you think I should?" says Annie, crossing her arms over her chest, her face a comely shade of pink tending to the red.
"Oh yes," says Rachel, our oldest and wisest. "Oh yes, you will give it to him!"
"Better not let Father see that," warns Betsey.
"Believe me, he shan't," says Annie, looking at the thing in wonder.
"It's amazing," says Sylvie. "It looks just like her. I can't believe it." She hesitates and then asks, "Jacky, could you..."
"Of course, Sylvie," I say. "Let's drive Henry mad, too. Let's drive them all mad!" Shrieks and cheers from my Sisters.
Course this means I got to do all of them, but it's good practice for me and it delights them, so it is all for the good.
But if Annie hoped to spend time with Davy again this day, she is to be disappointed. As we're clearing the dishes at the noon dinner, I lift my head and cock my ear and I hear, far off, the sound of ships' bells and foghorns and trumpets, even, all coming from the harbor. Uh-oh... I take my tray of dirty dishes and put it on the cart in the hall and dash to the front door and peek out. I don't like what I hear and see.
"Something's up down at the docks," I say, as I rush back into the dining hall and take the wide-eyed Annie by the arm. "Come, up to the top."
We rush up to my room and I pull down the ladder to the widow's walk and up we go. I grab my spyglass on the way and while she's viewing the scene with ohhs and aahs, I put the glass to my eye and train it on the three ships down below. Sure enough, there's men running about in a
hurry, doin' things that I know is done when ships is about to get under way. The Guerriere is flying the commodore's flag and a line of flags is hauled up the masthead. Red square, then white square with blue X, then the numeral pennants: one, three, zero, zero. The other ships answer with the same flags racing to their own mastheads: All ships get under way at 1300 hours. For some reason known only to the Royal Navy, all shore leave is canceled and I can hear the seamen's complaint now: Goddamn Captain prolly had a goddamn fight wi' his goddamn mistress ashore and now I'm missin' me goddamn liberty, I am!
Davy will not set foot on the United States for quite a while yet, if ever.
Damn! And I ain't talked everything out of him yet!
I take the glass from my eye. "The fleet's leaving early. They'll be at sea by mid-afternoon."
She takes the news calmly. She drops her head and says, "Ah, well."
"Ah, well, nothing!" says I. "I will send my letter by him! Do you have your miniature?"
"Yes, it's here in my vest. I was going to give it to him today."
"Maybe you shall yet do it. Let's go!" and I lead the way back down, snatching up my packet from my bedstead on our way through my room. Down the stairs to the first floor and then down into the kitchen. "Cover for us!" I yell as we go out the back door.
We run up to the stables and I take a bridle from the rack on the wall and I go into Gretchen's stall and put the bit in her mouth and slap the harness over her head and back her out of her stall.
"Surely a saddle, Jacky!" says Henry, coming upon us in our haste.
"No time, Henry! Open the barn doors!" I leap onto Gretchen's back and move her over to the hay crib, which has a side like a ladder. "Climb up here, Annie, and get on behind me! She can carry us both. Arms around me now and hold on!"
When I feel she's on, I give a "Hyah!" and dig my heels into Gretchen's sides and out we bolt from the stable and down the road we go. I've been riding long enough that my legs are strong enough to grasp the horse's sides without the need of stirrups, and I've tried it a couple times bareback so I know I can do it.