“Yes… Now tell me that one thing you want me to do for you?”
“Only if you ask nicely, Jimmy.”
“Pretty please with a cherry on top,” Jim said dryly.
“I guess I’ll settle for that,” Carla said. “Before you go to comfort your friend, stop by my uncle’s house.”
“Why?”
“Trust me on this.”
“You’re asking for a lot.”
“Jim, listen to me for once,” Carla shouted. “I’m trying to keep you alive, dumb ass!”
“I’m listening.”
“Stop by to see my uncle as soon as you land in Chicago. You’re going to meet him at Pop’s Restaurant.”
“What time?”
Buzz!
“I just sent you a text message with his phone number on it. Give him a call before you get on your plane to Chicago. Let him know that I sent you.”
“What’s his name?”
“Pete.”
“Got it.”
“Be safe, Jim, and call me after you met with my uncle.”
“Okay, bye now.”
###
Jim waited five minutes before calling Carla’s uncle. He figured that he would give Carla enough time to let her uncle know that he was paying him a visit. In the meantime, Jim sat down and listened to a song on his iPod as a small child pointed a toy gun at him firing four pretend rounds to his chest. The child’s disinterested mother was sitting next to Jim, scrolling through the Facebook app on her iPad as the child taunted him. Her high school ex-boyfriend’s comment took up more of her attention than the future neighborhood stick up man, bastard child of hers.
Annoying little shit! Women should stop having unprotected sex with the wrong men. Two motherfuckers with bad genes equal a little fucking wasted piece of shit. This particular collision of sperm and egg could have been prevented had someone had the sense to castrate the father and sew the mother’s vagina shut.
Jim looked down at his watch, 8:50 a.m., time to call Uncle Pete. He reached for his belt clip to grab his phone and nothing was there. He looked in front of him and realized he was pickpocketed by the bastard kid who he spotted playing with his smartphone. Jim pretended not to pay attention to the kid waiting for the right moment to sneak on the kid and snatch the phone back. That moment never came. The child threw the phone to the ground. Jim looked down and saw the screen on his phone crack. He looked up toward the child and he was laughing his little ass off, apparently tickled pink by the damage he did to Jim’s phone. He then looked at the child’s mother and she gave him a look, daring him to say anything regarding her son’s wrongdoing. That was enough to set Jim off. He snatched the toy gun from the child’s hand and stomped on it three times smashing it to pieces. This infuriated the mother.
“Mister, I know you didn’t just smash my baby’s toy,” the mother shouted.
“After your son pickpocketed me and broke my phone, yes I certainly did.”
“What’s wrong with you? He is a child, you’re an adult. You’re supposed to be more mature than that.”
“Had you pretended you were a good parent and watched your future jail fuck, my phone wouldn’t be broken, and neither would your son’s toy,” Jim countered.
“You don’t get even at my son’s expense, and you watch what the fuck you say about my son.”
As they were talking, the boy snuck behind Jim and kicked him in the back of his leg. He then picked up his phone and walked to the men’s bathroom without saying a word. The screen was cracked, but he was still able to see the text message containing Pete’s phone number and was also able to place the phone call.
“Hello?”
“Jim speaking, are we still meeting?”
“Yes, order me a venti when you get here.”
A venti? Why is this rough, scruffy voice dude ordering a venti? It just doesn’t sound right.
“Okay.”
Jim thought for a moment and called Pete back to arrange for someone to pick him up from the airport upon his arrival time. Then he walked out of the bathroom and was confronted by the angry mom.
“Look you arrogant fucker, you’re lucky you not flying out to Chicago, so I’m gonna give you a chance to settle this without you having to move around in a wheelchair. You done barked up the wrong tree, honey.”
“What do you want?”
“I’ll let my husband decide.”
The woman grabbed a phone from her bag and called her husband as Jim began to wonder with whom this woman was affiliated. Whoever her husband was, she had acquired a false sense of safety. This often happened with loud mouth square bitches who coupled with men who had perceived power. Jim never cared for these loud, overly aggressive bitches because they got more men killed than he cared to remember. She underestimated Jim based on his appearance which included black Kenneth Cole shoes, black slacks, and a sky-blue button down-down shirt worn underneath a tan sport coat. He did not look like a common two-bit street thug, so she dismissed him as being a square, white collar guy who she could easily walk over. Only if she knew what she had in store when their plane landed in Chicago.
“This preppy motherfucker is fuckin’ with my son,” she shouted into the receiver.
It always sounds retarded when an angry wench is on the phone talking shit to a third party on the other line because you can only hear one side of the conversation.
“We were minding our motherfucking business when this motherfucker stomped on my baby’s toy. Yeah… Yeah... And he’s still talking shit to us.
“Yeah, that’s right.
“Okay, bye.” She smirked at Jim before saying, “My husband said he gonna fuck you up when we get to Chicago.”
Damn Jim, what the hell did you get yourself into this time?
Minutes later, they both boarded the Delta Airlines plane headed to Chicago.
Chapter 4
Jim and the unfit parent spent the entire flight staring down each other before landing.
After landing at Midway Airport, Jim picked up his bag and wheeled it over to the arrival lane where cars stopped to pick up family and friends arriving to Chicago. Pete’s driver was late picking him up and he heard the woman’s piercing voice.
“C’mon Ted, there he is right there,” she shouted.
Ted was ready to kick ass –airport security be damned, but when he recognized Jim he changed his mind.
“Get Corey in the car,” Ted demanded.
“What about that punk over there?”
“Bitch, first you’re gonna shut the fuck up, then you’re going to put Corey in his car seat and then we’re going to talk to that gentleman over there.”
“But I’m your wife.”
“Bitch, shut up and get Corey in the car NOW.”
The woman put the infant in the booster seat and looked toward her husband for direction. Jim was about 15 feet away, ready for anything that would ensue. They walked toward Jim.
“Jim, what’s going on, man?”
“Ted, I see that you still have good taste in women,” Jim said.
“I guess I do.” Ted laughed.
Ted’s wife was angry with Jim and her husband for not kicking his ass already. She could not understand why he was giving Jim a pass. He had broken Corey’s toy gun. He had also disrespected her and her child, and it seemed as if her husband was resigned to deciding upon which of Jim’s ass cheeks he wanted to kiss.
“He broke Corey’s cap gun,” she said. “He even called Corey a bastard future jail fuck.”
“Look, we can get another cap gun, but this man runs the south side. You don’t want to fuck around when it comes to Jim.”
“What about Corey?”
“Look bitch, that ain’t my son and had you not given your pussy to the wrong man, then he wouldn’t have such fucked up genes.”
“Well, fuck you too,” she shouted.
Jim was amused by the display. He had nothing to worry about because Ted recog
nized Jim. Besides, how could he ever forget Jim, the man who saved him from his ex-girlfriend?
###
Five years ago, when Ted found out that his ex-girlfriend had been cheating on him with Jeff –a low-life stick-up artist, who snorted coke, stole cars and robbed civilians—he refused to sign her son’s birth certificate when her child was born. Despite her transgression Ted wanted to work it out with his girlfriend until he saw the other man in their house playing with the child. Ted looked at the child then looked at the low-life and realized that Jeff was the child’s biological father. He ended their relationship and told her that she had three months to move out of his house; she was enraged.
His ex-girlfriend left immediately and moved in with her sister. Ted met his current wife and moved her in his house the next month. His ex-girlfriend was infuriated once she found out and decided to extract revenge. She spoke with her baby’s father and lied, telling him that Ted had stopped by her sister’s house and slapped her several times. This infuriated her child’s father, so he decided to teach him a lesson by cleaning his house. She informed Jeff about the many valuable possessions in his house and the times that he left and arrived home every day. Jeff also learned the times his new girlfriend left for work after watching her coming in and out of the house.
After having scoped out their house for a week, their home was burglarized. Ted and his wife walked home to a ransacked house and four masked men. Every item of value was stolen while the rest of the house was vandalized. Before they were able to digest what happened to their valuables, they found themselves bound and gagged and abandoned in their own home with Ted having been beaten for good measure. They were untied once Corey’s enraged babysitter drove to their house to confront the couple for dumping the child on her and not picking him up hours after their agreed upon time. Having gone from anger to concern, she cut the restraints and called the police. The couple filed a report and later that night, the babysitter told her older brother Frank about what she walked in on.
The next day he went over to Ted’s house to find out what happened. Frank became concerned when he learned that Jim’s reserve cash for Ted’s house had been stolen. Ted’s girlfriend suspected that their house was burglarized because Frank ran a game for Jim at Ted’s house every Friday. She yelled to Frank that there would be no illegal gambling in their house again, for this was a sign from God to cut their ties to that kind of sin. Frank was unable to get any relevant information from them as he was contending with the anger and confusion coming from Ted and his wife to be. No one had a clue as to who broke in until Ted’s foolish ex-girlfriend left a message on his voicemail:
“Karma is a bitch isn’t it, motherfucker? I heard that you lost a few things…tough. I’m going to take you to court and you’re going to be paying child support for 18 years. How dare you walk out on my baby? You’re lucky to be alive, you low-life piece of shit.”
Frank now had the information he needed and immediately called Jim for a meeting at the Truck Stop on 31st & Ashland. Once they met, Frank told Jim what happened. He suspected that Ted’s former girlfriend was involved. Jim agreed and decided that they would stalk her. Frank and Jim staked out the former girlfriend’s current residence and got the answer they were looking for hours later. The ex-girlfriend greeted Jeff at the door and kissed him. He spent most of his time at their house now that she moved in with her sister. They also noticed Jeff’s new chain –very expensive. Jim recognized Jeff from a job that he hired him for, and Ted’s former girlfriend was a con artist for as far as he could remember. He remembered when she was a runner for her aunt’s illegal lottery. Her aunt ended up replacing her when she found out that she was skimming.
Satisfied with their discovery, they decided to take action. Frank called his best men –five men altogether—this time Frank and Jim wanted to participate on a smaller scale. Jim and Frank shot up Jeff’s car. Upon hearing the shots, Jeff ran out the house with his weapon, but hesitated as Jim and Frank pointed the barrels of their guns. Steve, who possessed superior hand to hand combat skills, seized the opportunity to attack. He hand-chopped Jeff on the side of his neck, kicked the weapon out of his hand, turned him around and smashed his nose in. Another man ran into the house and shortly returned carrying Jeff’s baby. He slid into the getaway car, and the driver pulled off.
Ted’s ex-girlfriend emerged from the house and ran after her baby while screaming at the top of her lungs. A black 4-door sedan pulled up and two men rushed her. One man throat chopped her and she dropped to the ground in excruciating pain. They picked her up and carried her body to the backseat, then the two men got in and the car took off. Jim walked down the street and another car picked him up. Then Steve stopped beating Jeff, took his gun and got in the car with Frank before they drove off. A few days later Jeff was kidnapped and brought to an undisclosed location. Ted’s ex-girlfriend was tied up, but the baby was healthy and doing fine. They allowed her to breast feed and change her baby’s diaper whenever necessary.
“Hey, I remember you, Jeffrey.”
Jim approached Jeff and asked for the whereabouts of Ted’s belongings. Jeff answered his question. Then Jim asked him about the stolen money. When Jeff told Jim that he spent $15,000 of it on his chain and car, and gave his girlfriend $1000, Jim turned cold. He cut the woman’s bra off with his switchblade, palmed one of her breasts and jiggled it, then looked toward Jeff. “Man, your bitch has some nice tits.”
Jeff’s girlfriend started crying as her dignity seeped from her eyes. Jim proceeded to suck on her nipples until he tasted breast milk.
“Bitch, can’t you stop lactating for five fucking minutes?” He slapped her. “Jeff, tell your bitch to stop crying.”
“Bitch, stop crying,” Jim shouted.
Repeatedly, Jim slapped her. “Bitch, if you don’t stop your fucking crying, I’m going to start slapping the baby,” Jim said.
Jeff furiously wiggled in his chair toward Jim.
“I’m going to kill you, bitch,” Jeff shouted.
“You’re going to kill me?” Jim said. “Hmmm, I must admit that will be difficult from where you’re standing. I’ll tell you what, I’m going to call off my men, and I’ll even give you my switchblade, and if you can kill me you walk out with your bitch and your son.”
Jim ordered Steve to cut the restraints off his wrists. Once Jeff’s hands were free, Jim slid his switchblade to him as promised. Jeff finally had an opportunity to make the big kill and become a neighborhood street legend. He recognized the significance of the moment and decided that he wanted to kill Jim for disrespecting everyone he loved in addition to being able to take over the streets.
Jeff picked up the switchblade and started lunging at his opponent. Jim ducked out the way gracefully. Jeff lunged and swung his knife at Jim several times, swiping nothing but air. This was unlike a normal street fight that he was accustomed to. Usually, both fighters went at each other, but Jim knew better for several reasons. Jim was a respectable fighter, but not the greatest. He could never win a brawl with his more muscular counterpart. He knew that with Jeff’s combination of adrenaline and anger flowing, he was going to punch and swing himself out the fight.
As soon as Jim noticed that Jeff wasn’t charging as aggressively, he took action. This time when Jeff sliced, Jim timed his swing and kicked the weapon out of his hand. Jeff then got into a defensive stance which gave Jim an opportunity. He kicked Jeff on the left side of his knee then regained his balance and charged into him like a defensive tackle. He didn’t swing or kick, he ran into him with so much force that he flattened him. Jim quickly pinned Jeff and inflicted a flurry of punches to his face. Jeff’s girlfriend couldn’t bear to watch and begged for mercy on his life, even Ted yelled that he was beating him too badly.
Jim stopped.
“You hear that, Jeff?” Jim cupped Jeff’s face from the left cheek to the right cheek. “Your bitch over there want
s me to spare your life.”
“Jim, I’ll do anything, I’ll even suck your cock,” she shouted. “Just let my man live.”
“Bitch, I don’t want a blowjob from you. You can also keep that treacherous animal that you call a pussy to yourself. It’s not up to you whether or not he lives—it’s up to him.”
“Hey motherfucker,” Jim said. “How bad do you wanna live?”
Jeff spit in his face and told him to fuck off.
“Oh, that was some real disrespectful shit there,” Jim said, wiping the blood/saliva mix off his shirt. “This fucker down here stole from me, stole from my friend—which is stealing from me, then tied two innocent people up over some hearsay from of all people, a lying, conniving bitch. I don’t think he wants to live for either his son or his woman.”
“Jim, he didn’t mean it, I swear! He’s just hardheaded sometimes,” she said.
He slapped her hard across the face. “Bitch, you speak when spoken to.”
Jim looked to Steve. “Steve, remember that souvenir that I got from the White Sox game? Bring that to me.”
Steve complied and handed Jim a mini-bat.
“Hold him down,” Jim instructed. “Steve, pull his fucking pants down. Frank, hand me a switchblade.” Jim smirked. “You’re wearing tighty whiteys?”
The room erupted in nervous laughter.
“Man, you can’t be a wearing underoos in the presence of grown men. Take that monkey shit off.”
The men forced off his underwear and Jim’s face displayed an element of surprise.
“My fucking goodness, this motherfucker is hung,” Jim shouted. “Stand this motherfucker up.”
Jim walked toward Jeff and blatantly looked towards his penis.
“Jeff, I bet you put a hurtin’ on a lot of bitches in the yard before you got paroled.” Jim continued. “No wonder this bitch cheated on Ted.”
Jim examined Jeff more closely, then whipped out his switchblade. Everyone held their breath as the blade opened near his penis. The woman cried in fear.
“Look at the size of that python,” Jim continued “His dick is longer than my knife and it’s not erect. Steve, the average penis size in America is five and a half inches, right?”