Page 29 of The End


  St George roared his frustration. It had all been going so well and now it was falling apart. He’d been in charge. Lifted up by the voice of God. He’d felt proud. His chest swelling. He was a holy warrior doing God’s will. But now he had doubts. Something told him you couldn’t always trust the voices in your head.

  Was it God? Or was it the devil? Had he been tricked? Good men were always tempted. Bad people tried to lead them away from the righteous path.

  The only person he could trust was himself.

  His army had lost its shape, had lost its common aim. Order had turned into confusion because the gods were arguing among themselves. The other voices had come in and they were screaming at him, screaming at his troops, causing fear and violence. He tried to scream back, but he didn’t have the skills.

  There was someone who did. Where was she? The tall woman who had come in with the new troops. He pushed through his mob, pulling men and women aside, flinging them to the ground, snarling and grunting and biting until he saw the woman’s head, taller than the ones around her.

  He went up to her, grabbed her. She turned and looked at him. He tried to speak, forgetting that he couldn’t. What came out of his mouth weren’t proper words. He just hoped that she could read his mind.

  God! A nightmare. A woman who can read your mind.

  But this one could. And, what’s more, he could read hers. He felt her worry. She turned and walked away, pulling him with her as if she had a fish hook in his brain. She dragged him nearer to the front, where a rise in the land allowed them to see the child demons more clearly. St George could make out the building with the platform on the roof, where the demon general sat.

  The woman was pointing to something. Three figures. He couldn’t make sense of them. A man with green skin, two children who looked like freaks – true demons. It was them. They were the false gods. They were the ones disrupting his army. He howled. They had to be stopped.

  Now he felt the tall woman’s voice inside him, loud and strong. And for a time St George was blind. A blankness filled his head. He was among the stars, in the emptiness of the universe, and all there was were the voices, arguing, the woman and the demons. She was sending her shout back at them. He forced his eyes to see. Looked at her, her long hair hiding her face.

  He should never have listened to her. To God. To anyone. He didn’t need the voices. He was his own general. She was taking his glory away from him. Bloody women. Nag, nag, nag.

  He was a butcher.

  His world was simple.

  He turned to the tall woman, struck her down with the back of his hand. She lay here, looking up at him like a frightened animal. That was how it should be.

  And she had shut up as well.

  Good.

  Blessed silence.

  Everything was as it should be.

  It had stopped. The sickos were falling back. Leaving the barricades.

  ‘I don’t believe it,’ said Blue. ‘They’re retreating.’

  Maxie didn’t allow too much hope to creep in under the door. In her experience hope usually led to disappointment.

  Indeed, a space opened up and David appeared with his gang. He was brave enough to come closer now that he knew that Jordan’s troops had used all their missiles.

  ‘You giving up?’ Jordan called over to him.

  ‘We haven’t even started,’ David shouted back. ‘You haven’t seen anything yet. But you’ve seen enough to know that you can’t win this. Seriously, I don’t want you all to die. And you don’t have to. Simply surrender. I’m giving you till the morning. Think about my offer. Think about it all night as you try to sleep. Think about what will happen tomorrow now that you’ve seen what happened today. How many we are. When I come back in the morning, I want an answer. Do you let me take full command or do you let Jordan carry on leading your army into defeat?’

  The guy was good, Maxie had to admit. He was using psychological tactics. He knew how terrified the kids would get in the night and how their terror would grow towards the morning. They’d suffered quite a few casualties, mostly from when the sickos had broken through. Maxie had seen many dead bodies of children being taken away with the injured. Jordan was quick to make sure they weren’t left for others to see. But the kids would talk. Talk about their losses, and talk about the losses they would suffer tomorrow. Talk about the fact that, despite killing a lot of the sickos, they really hadn’t made any difference at all.

  How many of the other kids would desert in the night? How many would go and plead with him, try to get him to change his mind? What would Jordan do? Somehow he had to inspire his army. Give them fresh bravery and morale.

  Maxie sat down. Blue came and sat next to her, his arm round her shoulders.

  ‘That guy David is a jerk,’ he said.

  ‘He’s just trying to freak us out,’ said Maxie. ‘Get us to give up.’

  ‘Yeah, but why did he stop?’ Blue asked. ‘He could’ve just gone on fighting all night. Them sickos don’t give up. They prefer to do their killing at night. They can smell us; they don’t need to see us. So why did he stop?’

  Maxie shrugged.

  ‘Because he needs to rethink,’ said Blue. ‘With the Green Man and the Twisted Kids in the fight, things have changed. He wants it to look like he’s on top, but he ain’t. Or he wouldn’t have stopped.’

  ‘I hope you’re right,’ said Maxie. ‘But the more I think about it, the more I think I should’ve gone with you earlier.’ She smiled at him. ‘We should’ve run. We should’ve gone to a tropical island and sat on the beach.’

  ‘One day we will,’ said Blue. ‘Trust me. One day that beach will be ours.’

  60

  ‘I don’t want to see you, Jordan. I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t want to even acknowledge your existence.’ Achilleus was slumped on a pile of cushions in the corner of the room.

  Justin sighed. It smelt stale and sweaty in here. This had been his room, but Achilleus had kicked him out and Justin wasn’t about to argue with him. The window was closed, the curtains were drawn and the room was dark. Achilleus was playing with Skinner’s cat. Dragging a piece of string across the floor that the cat clumsily tried to catch.

  ‘Well, I exist,’ said Jordan. ‘Get over it.’

  ‘If I had my way you wouldn’t exist.’

  Jordan had come to Justin and Justin had set up this meeting. He was staying out of it. Nothing he could contribute. This was macho talk and Justin had never been any good at that. He just had to try to make sure the two of them didn’t kill each other.

  ‘D’you think you could take me?’ said Jordan. Not looking at Achilleus. Not looking at anything.

  ‘I never seen you fight.’ Achilleus sized Jordan up.

  ‘I know you’re good,’ said Jordan. ‘I know your rep. But I ain’t come here to fight. I come to apologize.’

  Achilleus gave a snort of laughter. ‘You? Say you’re sorry? Am I about to be pranked?’

  ‘No. I’m saying sorry for real. And I am – sorry.’

  ‘For real?’

  ‘Yeah. What I said.’

  Achilleus was still staring at Jordan. Jordan was turned the other way. But still he had them both pinned. Justin didn’t know how he did it. How he stared you down without actually looking at you. It was a skill. He looked at the floor or the wall or into infinity, and somehow that was stronger than looking right at you.

  ‘What I did,’ said Jordan. ‘The way I did it. Wasn’t right.’

  ‘You’re telling me, four eyes.’

  Jordan sighed. ‘If only I had that.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Four eyes. But I ain’t. I only got two and they don’t work so well.’

  ‘What else is new?’ said Achilleus. ‘We can all see your specs, roadman.’

  Jordan sucked his teeth. The cat went over to him and he moved away from it. Didn’t like cats.

  ‘Is worse than that,’ he said. ‘That’s why I did what I did. I’m gonna tell you s
omething I ain’t never told no one else before, not properly. To show you that I mean it, when I say I’m sorry. I’m gonna take off my armour and show myself to you.’

  ‘You gonna justify yourself?’

  ‘Nope. I accept it was wrong. But I’m gonna explain. Explain why I went about things in the wrong way and caused offence. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. Wasn’t the idea. Didn’t realize that dog meant so much to you. Didn’t know how proud you was.’

  ‘Is that an insult?’

  ‘Is a fact. You gonna argue it?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘OK,’ said Jordan. ‘So what I’m saying, I didn’t realize how much it was gonna hurt the boy.’

  ‘You made Paddy cry,’ said Achilleus. ‘So how come you didn’t realize what you was doing when it went down?’

  ‘Crying?’ Jordan shrugged. ‘Is a big, bad world, soldier. I made a small boy cry. Small boys is always crying. They get over it. Didn’t seem so bad to me. All that crying stuff – I don’t get it. That’s the problem. I get it now that I was acting in a heartless fashion. Acting like a jerk. Like I owned this place and everyone in it. I don’t.’

  ‘Is right,’ said Achilleus.

  ‘Is why I’m saying sorry. I upset him, I hurt him, I upset you, I hurt your pride. Was never my intention. I was blind.’

  ‘So what is it you wanna tell me, roadman?’ said Achilleus. ‘What’s the big revelation?’

  ‘What I said.’

  ‘You lost me now. Rewind. Did I miss the explanation?’

  ‘I was blind.’ Jordan paused. Swallowed. Looked at Achilleus now, his eyes big and fishlike behind his scratched specs. ‘What I did, I did for one reason and one reason alone … I was scared.’

  ‘Seriously? Don’t shit me, man.’

  ‘Every day I get scared. What scares you, soldier?’

  ‘Nothing,’ said Achilleus. ‘Nothing scares me.’

  ‘I don’t believe you.’

  ‘Is the truth. Nothing scares me any more. Because the worst thing in the world has already happened – the thing I was most scared of. You know what it was? That somebody I loved would get hurt. Would die. And now that’s happened, so there’s nothing to be scared of any more. I’m just a machine. I got no heart.’

  ‘Nobody is a machine.’

  ‘I am. Whatever last bit was human inside me is gone.’

  ‘Then I need you to be a killing machine, Achilleus. I need you out on the battlefield. I need you to take your revenge.’

  Achilleus didn’t say anything for a long while. Justin could see that he was thinking. They’d both got Jordan wrong. He was more complicated than they’d imagined. More intelligent.

  ‘You still ain’t told me this big thing, roadman,’ said Achilleus eventually.

  ‘What I’m scared of?’

  ‘Yeah. What is General Jordan almighty Hordern so scared of that he would act like a dick and screw everything up?’

  Now Jordan did something Justin wasn’t expecting. He took off his glasses and stared at Achilleus with naked eyes. Eyes that looked suddenly small and weak and vulnerable. He was a different person.

  ‘I’m scared of this,’ Jordan said, pointing to his eyes. ‘What’s happening to me. I’m scared of going blind.’

  ‘You’re going blind?’ Achilleus frowned.

  ‘Only two, three other people know it. My helpers and the little guy, the one they call Blu-Tack Bill. I’m losing my eyesight, Achilleus, that’s why I need the dog. To be my eyes.’

  ‘Why didn’t you say?’

  ‘Because I’m like you. Scared of showing weakness. That’s the big one, ain’t it? The real killer. That we’re nothing. And, without my eyes, that’s what I am. As I say – is why I need the dog. Is why I need Blu-Tack Bill. Boy can see the world. Count it. My brain and his brain don’t work like other people’s. My brain is complicated and without my eyes it gets shut in.’ He tapped his skull. ‘Trapped in there, spinning around, nothing to fix on. I’m scared I’ll go proper crazy. That’s scary, man. But with the dog and with Bill I can stay in touch with the world. I can read the numbers. I can stop myself from going mad. I can not be weak.’

  Achilleus nodded. Smiled. Clicked his tongue.

  ‘I can answer your question now, roadman,’ he said. ‘The answer is yes.’

  ‘What’s the question?’

  ‘Could I take you? Yeah. I could kill you easy. Because you’re blind.’

  Jordan gave a sort of smile now.

  ‘Not quite yet,’ he said. ‘But if not now then soon enough. Then you will be stronger than me, Achilleus. You’ll be the big man, no dispute. I can’t say more sorry than that. Can’t do no more than show you my naked heart.’

  ‘Tell me about your heart,’ said Achilleus. ‘It ever been broken?’

  ‘Like in a girl’s book?’

  ‘Suppose.’

  ‘I don’t really know what it means.’

  ‘But you know what it’s like to lose someone you love?’

  ‘No,’ said Jordan. ‘I never loved anyone. Not like that. My brain don’t work that way. My heart. Can’t do it. Can’t make it happen. All I got is my complicated brain. That’s why I do things the way I do. Don’t understand all that stuff – emotions. I don’t know about what you felt for the boy. I just know that some things have gotta be done. And I do them.’

  ‘Paddy,’ said Achilleus.

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘He had a name. He wasn’t “the boy”. He was called Paddy. Paddy the Caddie. Patrick.’

  ‘Paddy.’ Jordan said the world like he was trying something out for the first time. ‘OK.’

  ‘You done?’

  ‘I guess,’ said Jordan. ‘I’m just saying I can’t feel for people the way you do, Achilleus, and I was scared, so I did the wrong thing. The wrong way. I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry for what happened to Paddy. But if I want to make sure that don’t happen to every one of us I need you back in the battle. We need you to fight, Achilleus. If you fight, others will join us.’

  ‘Can we win?’

  ‘We can win. If we fight. But the kids are losing the will. With me as general, and Bill as my eyes, and you as a hero, and all the other kids behind you, we can run them down and end this thing. Without you … we all die.’

  61

  ‘Wrong place, wrong time.’

  Nicola looked at Ryan. His horrible mask was pushed up on top of his head; his ugly, acne-scarred face was shining and greasy. Amazing how quickly you got used to these things. How normal it seemed. To be talking to a boy dressed in leather and studs, with a huge dog on a lead, and a string of human ears hanging off his belt.

  Nicola had spent the day sitting in the House of Lords with all her other kids. They’d been gloomy and tense and more than a bit numb, aware that over in Hyde Park a battle was being fought for them, ashamed that they hadn’t sent anyone to fight – and also relieved.

  They’d waited for news. Obviously hoping that it would be good news. If St George beat Jordan then they’d have to turn the Houses of Parliament into a fortress and defend themselves from the oncoming army. Surely that was better, though, than risking everything out on a battlefield? These buildings were secure. They could hold off an attack for a long time. Nicola had a certain amount of food stored up. They were organized. They had a routine. They could hold out for …

  Who was she kidding? They wouldn’t be able to survive a siege for more than a few days before supplies started to run out. But nobody wanted to think that far ahead. Nobody wanted to think about the future at all. They talked about anything other than the battle, and sickos, and St George’s army. If they ignored it maybe it wasn’t really happening?

  So they’d sat there in small groups. No energy. Occasionally one or two of them would wander outside, listening, watching for any signs.

  They heard nothing. They saw nothing. Another grey day.

  Until Ryan came.

  Nicola had been most restless of all. She’d had an arrangement w
ith Ryan. To come here at the end of the day and tell her what was happening. It had been his job, him and his hunters, to patrol the edges of the park, to keep a lookout for any signs of sickos trying to get round the sides. He would know what was going on better than anyone.

  And he’d come as promised. And given her the news.

  Right now he was telling her how they’d missed the attack on Paddy and the smaller kids.

  ‘Sicko raiding party come in from the west. We was, like, twenty minutes too late to help them. Should’ve been there. It burns me up that we weren’t. Hated today. Wanted to fight. Properly fight. It was frustrating, you know?’

  ‘Did you see any sickos at all?’ asked Nicola. ‘I mean, outside the park?’

  ‘We killed a few of them, yeah,’ said Ryan. ‘There was a couple of small groups broke away and came wandering round the side-streets. We hunted down as many as we could find. But we wanted to be there in the thick of it, you know? Jordan’s told us not to worry. If things go wrong we’ll be more than busy.’

  Nicola was trying to forget how nervous she was. If she didn’t fixate on it maybe it would go away? Hearing about the kids being killed near the museum had brought home to her how dangerous this whole thing was.

  They were on one of the riverside terraces at the back of the buildings. Nicola looked out over the great Thames. Flowing by, oblivious. In the moonlight it was a magical, shimmering, sliding, silvery living thing. She swallowed. Psyching herself up. The two of them had been dancing round the main issue. Ryan had told her how David had sided with St George. How the battle had gone. She had to know the rest.

  ‘So … Ryan?’ She heard herself talking, as if it was someone else. ‘Will they fight tomorrow? Or will Jordan surrender?’

  ‘Jordan? You joking me. You’ve met the guy – that is one pig-headed dude. They both of them are. Too proud.’

  ‘What’s David playing at?’ said Nicola, shaking her head, watching a dead body float past, swollen and pale. ‘What the hell is he doing? Helping St George. Has he gone insane?’

  ‘Happened a long time ago. You really only just noticed?’

  Nicola smiled. ‘I’ve tried to work with him,’ she said. ‘I thought I could stop him from doing some of the madder stuff. Thought I could balance him out. But he’s gone too far this time.’