I lay like that for a while, not quite sleeping, and not quite awake, listening to the sound of my mother’s heartbeat as she breathed, in and out, in and out. That was how Amber found me, lying in bed. She placed her hand on my shoulder and gently roused me.
“Visiting hours are almost over, and it’s way past dinner time. Come on, let’s go get some food in you. Have you even eaten anything since the beignets?”
I shook my head, and she clucked her tongue at me like a mother hen. I kissed my mom on her forehead, smoothing her hair again, and followed Amber outside. For the first time since we had arrived, I really absorbed what Alec had meant about the sun never setting in Aeden. It hadn’t budged from its spot in the sky high above the Tree of Life. Barring some unseen disaster, it never would. How did people ever sleep here? Did they get high on the sunshine the way people did in Norway and Alaska? I guessed I would find out soon enough. I’d definitely have to look into getting some kind of a watch, otherwise I’d never be able to tell what time it was.
Amber brought me to a small outdoor buffet by the school spire. I let her order for both of us, since I didn’t recognize most of the fare. They served us the food and I looked at it warily as I sat down.
“So, um, the food here, is it like in all those fairytales? If I eat it, will I never be able to leave?”
Amber let out a peal of laughter. “If that was true, Alec and I would hardly be able to come and go the way we do, would we? No, the truth of it is that those warnings are made up by the Dark to keep the humans from meddling in fae affairs. Besides, you can’t believe everything you hear – I mean, do you see anyone here with wings?”
“No, but I have yet to meet an ugly fae, either.”
“That is true, our genetics tend to keep us looking well. Though some are better looking than others, and we definitely come in all types.”
While we ate, Amber filled me in on her day, which had consisted mainly of debriefing with Bran, weapons training, more debriefing with the Council, a conversation with her father about Ewan, and tea with her mother.
I envied her the time she’d spent with her mother, but apparently the time with her dad had gone less smoothly than mine.
“So then he says he can’t believe that I would do this to him. And I say, do what? I mean, it’s not like I slept with my uncle, for Frigg’s sake.”
I spit out my fruity beverage, laughing. “Tell me you did not say that.”
“I did. His reaction was not as funny as yours. He sort of turned beet red and couldn’t really speak for a while, so I just left. Whatever. He’ll come around. You can’t fight the surge.” She winked at me, and I remembered my conversation with Bran.
“My parents felt it, and my dad let her go anyway,” I sighed. “But don’t go by me. What do I know? I’m pretty sure Rowan just broke up with me today.”
“No. Way.” She leaned forward on the table. “When did you talk to him?”
“In the Light Guard meeting room. I was talking to Vala through the water, and after we finished Rowan just sort of came through. I guess we were both thinking of each other at the same time. But it didn’t go too well. When I mentioned you and Alec he got really mad and basically said I should work on my training here and forget about him.”
“Sounds like he’s jealous,” she said sagely, popping a pink fry in her mouth.
“I guess. It doesn’t matter now. Who knows how long I’ll be here, anyway. I may never go back to Falls Depot, and even when he chooses the Light, he might not come down to Aeden. It’s over, at least for the time being.”
“So, about him being jealous, do you think that maybe he’s right?”
“Argh! Shut up about that, okay?” I leaned forward so we were almost nose to nose, whispering, “Alec and I, we’re not anything. There’s something, okay, fine, maybe it’s the surge, I don’t know, but he is acting really weird about it so can we just talk about something else now?”
“Sure, no problem,” Amber grinned, popping another fry in her mouth. “Did you know Bran’s sending him away tomorrow?”
“Who, Alec? Why would Bran do that?” I thought back to our conversation about the surge and wondered whether he’d ordered Alec away before or after our little chat.
“He’s leading a team on some reconnaissance to a couple medical research labs we believe operate on Shade funding. They’re hoping to find the cure for Fredrika. It was all decided during our first debriefing.”
“Oh, good.” I was glad he wasn’t just being sent away by an overprotective father. “Is it dangerous?”
“Nah. This kind of thing is what we live for,” she winked. “And, it’s what you’re going to start training for starting first thing tomorrow morning.”
“First thing? How can you even tell what time it is here?”
“Watches, just like anyone else. Greenwich Mean Time is actually based on Aeden time. But really, for the most part, a lot of fae here just do what they want, when they want, especially the people that live outside the cities. If you want to have breakfast at night, you can, and if you need to sleep at noon, that’s alright, too. Generally, no one will give you any grief over it.”
“Well, that said, I’m exhausted. Think you can help me make sure I find my way home now?”
“Sure, come on. You’re going to need all the rest you can get tonight.” She hip checked me and laughed, grabbing our trays and walking over to place them in some bins along the wall for recycling. I silently called out to Miko by the tree and he said he’d catch up with me the next day.
Amber escorted me to my room and gave me a hug. Auroreis had already come and gone, having turned down the bed, shuttered the windows and laid out a long silky gold sheath for me to sleep in. I brushed my teeth and combed out my hair, slipping on the nightgown and crawling into bed. My eyes were closed before they hit the pillow.
Sometime later in the near darkness I awoke with a lazy, euphoric sensation cascading through my body. I smelled pine trees and sweet coriander and even before I opened my eyes I knew what I would see. In the shadowy gloom, I could just make out Alec hovering over me. His hands were by my shoulders, propping him up away from me, and his legs straddled mine, his bare calves resting hotly against my thighs where my nightgown had ridden up. Ah. So at least now I knew where the surge was coming from.
“How did you get in? Isn’t the door keyed only to me and Auroreis?”
“I have my ways,” he assured me. Even in the dark, I could tell he was smiling that cocky grin of his.
“I just bet you do. But, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you before I left. I was on my way up here before, but Amber told me you’d already gone to bed. She told me what happened with you and the darkling.”
“And?” I gritted out. Did he have to always call Rowan that awful name? Was it really so impossible to believe that there could be some Light left in the Dark?
“And, I went back to my room to take a nap before I leave. I decided I would talk to you when I came back. Give you some time, and hopefully bring back some good news to cheer you up.”
“But you changed your mind,” I whispered.
“I changed my mind,” he whispered back, a smile in his voice again. “I promised you we would talk, so I’m here. To talk.”
“To talk?” I asked, smiling up at him.
“Mmm, yes, to talk.” He leaned down then, slowly, and kissed my neck. His lips moved down along my jaw, brushing lightly across my lips and then made their way back up to my ear, his hot breath making me feel wild. The surge was building back up inside me, and I moaned, pulling his face back to my so our lips could meet. As he kissed me, I felt our energy twine together and merge, flooding me with feelings that were not mine alone.
I couldn’t read his thoughts, not like Miko’s but I could feel everything that he was experiencing, like a sort of telempathy. It didn’t matter now if things went unsaid, because the surge was carrying our emotions forward, stirring them together and revealing them truly
for what they were. For a moment I thought of my mother and father, and I wanted to laugh at the thought that anyone could believe this was a fairytale, that the surge was made up. It was the most real thing I had ever experienced.
After I had felt all his longing, all his adoration, every ounce of his protectiveness and his wonder, we broke apart. He stared down at me, the dim light revealing only a strange purple glow around his pupils. I knew he had felt my own yearnings echoing his.
“That’s it?” I teased. “Is that all you have to say?”
He laughed. “You know very well it’s not. I don’t want to hide how I feel about you. But I also don’t know where this can go. I am half human. I’m lucky to even be here in Aeden, even luckier to have become a Light Guard. You are a full fae; your father is practically an Ancient. You should be with someone of similar bloodlines. The Council will try to arrange a better pairing for you; it’s inevitable.”
“Let them try,” I scoffed. I relayed everything my father had said about my bloodlines ending with, “they’ll never find anyone with ancestry like mine. I’m a prophecy, I’m special, unique. Which means I need a special sort of guy. A guy like you.”
I pulled him down to me again, trying to show him all the ways with my lips that I could be his. A kiss here on his neck. A nibble under his ear. A flutter of kisses across his eyelids, his cheeks.
“They’ll still try,” he muttered.
“It won’t matter,” I reassured him. “I’m already yours.” We kissed deeply, the surge riding the waves of our newborn love, quelling each other’s innermost fears and desires.
Finally, we broke apart. Alec fell back on the bed next to me, pulling me to him and I wrapped myself along his side, sighing, reveling in the rise and fall of his chest below my head. He kissed my hair and held me as we both dropped off to sleep.
I have no idea how long I slept. Time really was meaningless here until I got my hands on a watch. The bed beside me was still warm, but it was empty. He was gone.
I didn’t worry. I knew he’d be back, just like I knew he wouldn’t rest until he had done everything in his power to restore my mother.
I wasn’t sure what the future held. My father had plans for me, I was sure. He wanted me to train, and fulfill a prophecy. I wasn’t remotely sure what that would entail.
But I knew that I would have Alec by my side when I needed him, and the rest of my new friends. I smiled, and started to drift back to sleep.
I would have faith. I would trust. I would not allow fear to determine my path. I would open my heart and the way would be clear.
I just had to trust myself, trust my friends, trust my family, and trust fate.
How hard could that be?
Acknowledgements
There were so many amazing, helpful people involved with the creation of this book, that I am not sure I will be able to thank you all. But I will try!
First off, I would like to thank Maya Cointreau and the brilliant team at Earth Lodge for giving me a chance and taking on the Inner Origins series. I could never have accomplished the editing, layout and cover design all on my own, never mind brought Shades to press so seamlessly. And, of course, without Earth Lodge, I would not have had access to such a phenomenal team of beta readers.
Lisa Shab, Pita Lemstra, Ellen Woolf Feichtner, Lisa Kessler, Kathy Lalonde – thank you for all your insightful comments and helping us catch the inevitable errors and typos! You helped us refine Shades into the story it is today, something I certainly couldn’t have done without you.
I am extremely grateful to my husband and children. Your infinite patience for my love affair with my keyboard was a true blessing. Thank you for sleeping peacefully beside me while I wrote into the wee hours of the night, for all the little words of encouragement, and for the mugs of hot tea and chocolate when I needed them most. I love you all more than words can say.
Finally, I would like to thank the fae communities, both ethereal and tangible. I heard your whispers in the morning light, and found the many messages you left for me. You showed me the Light, and introduced me to my own shadow side. You inspired me time and time again, helping me to connect with the elements and showing me the inner origins of space and time.
Thank you!
About the Author
Ellis Logan has been talking to fairies and writing stories since she was a little girl, and is ecstatic to be publishing her first fantasy series through Earth Lodge. She lives a quiet life with her family in New England, where she enjoys skiing, hiking and eating chocolate…always chocolate!
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in the Inner Origins Series:
Fates of Midgard
Gifts of Elysielle
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