He leans in and gives her a quick, friendly peck on the cheek. “Good. Sweet dreams. I’ll come wake you up in an hour.”
Nicole doesn’t bother looking back at Helen to see how she’s reacting to all this. Helen has first claim to this family, and Nicole isn’t interested in fighting her for it. It’s no contest; the girl with the pretty face and the child will win every time over a monster. Nicole figures she’s better off focusing her time and attention on moving on with her life, somewhere else, alone.
In the room, she lies down on the bed and stares at the ceiling, trying to figure out how long she’ll have to work for Brian before she has enough to leave. Car, savings, food … it seems so overwhelming. She falls asleep trying to put it all together.
Chapter Thirty-Three
BRIAN IS OUT MOWING HIS lawn the next day when Agnes comes over for a chat. She’s carrying an ice-cold glass of tea with mint leaves floating in it. The outside of the glass is covered in condensation.
“Hello, there, neighbor,” she says, giving him a big flash of her denture-smile. “You look like you could use a cold drink.”
Brian shuts off the mower and wipes his forehead with the back of his forearm. “Just don’t get too close. I’m sweating up a storm over here.” He reaches his hand out gratefully for the tea, once again reminded of how much he loves living on this street.
“I have to admit, I’m not just here to keep you hydrated,” she says, handing him the glass. “I was hoping while you were out here mowing you could run across my front lawn too. Willard isn’t feeling so good these days and it’s just a little too hot for me. I’d be happy to pay you.”
“Nonsense. I’d be happy to do it. You can pay me in tea.” He raises the glass to her before taking a long pull from it. “Mmmm, that’s delicious. What’s your secret, Agnes?”
Agnes starts to answer him, but then she stops, staring at the house.
“Agnes?” Brian waits for her to come back to Earth, smiling at her bemused look.
She shakes her head like she’s trying clear it before answering “Is there someone in your house right now? I thought I saw Liam getting on the bus this morning.”
It’s over eighty degrees and Brian’s been pushing the mower for a half hour, but his entire body goes cold at her question. “Um, no. It’s just me in there today.”
“But I just saw someone pushing the blinds to the side.” She frowns for a moment and then her face goes pink. “Oh my goodness, I’m sorry. Look at me being so nosy! I’m happy for you, Brian. Truly happy for you. I hate to see you alone all the time.”
“What?”
“Well, you know. You’re young, employed doing beautiful work, and you’re a great father. I knew it was only a matter of time before another pretty girl caught your eye.” Agnes’s eyes practically sparkle at the idea.
“No, Agnes, you’ve got it all wrong. It’s not like that.”
“If you say so,” she says, walking back towards her house. “I’d love to meet her some day when you’re ready to introduce her.” She waves over her shoulder as she crosses the property line and passes around the bushes that separate their front yards.
Brian finishes the tea and walks over to the porch, putting the glass down so he can finish the job. His mind remains occupied as he finishes the work of mowing his and Agnes’s lawns and then edges them with the trimmer.
He not only has to keep Nicole hidden from John, he also has to keep the nosiest lady in town from finding out about her. As Brian is sweeping up the clippings and bagging them up, he considers letting Agnes in on his big secret. It’s possible she could be helpful, keeping an eye on the house when he can’t be there.
The idea of leaving Nicole alone makes him physically ill. He wants to be able to watch over her every second of the day until she’s ready to stand on her own two feet, but he has deliveries to make, furniture to pick up, and groceries to buy among other things. Having Agnes keeping watch might be the solution to the problem.
As if on cue, she comes out on her front porch, waving some money at him. “Brian, now you’ve gone above and beyond, so I’m going to pay you.”
“No, Agnes, sorry, I can’t let you do that.”
“Nonsense. You put in a hard day’s work and you should be paid for it.”
“How about a trade?” he asks, leaning on his push-broom with both hands.
Agnes lifts her eyebrow as she walks up. “Well that sounds intriguing. What did you have in mind? I can cook a heck of a tuna casserole, you know. Can I interest you in one of those, maybe?”
“That does sound delicious, but no, I had something else in mind.”
“Let’s hear it then. I’m all ears.”
“I was wondering if you could just keep an eye on the house … on anyone coming over when I’m not around.”
Agnes says nothing at first. She searches Brian’s face, maybe looking for an explanation, but he’s not going to give her one no matter how many casseroles she offers.
“I suppose I could do that,” she finally says. “Any particular person you want me to be on the lookout for? Someone you don’t want coming around?”
Brian weighs the pros and cons of giving her more information. If she knew exactly who to look for, she could be more effective. But then again, she could go all vigilante granny on the guy and clue him in on the fact that nobody wants him nosing around Brian’s house. He’d know why. John’s a predator, and Brian figures they all have that kind of sixth sense about their prey.
“No, just … people in general. I like my privacy, and I have some valuable antiques in the shop these days.”
Agnes nods. “Consider your house on the top of my list.”
Brian smiles. “You have a list?”
“Of course I have a list. I’m a one-woman neighborhood watch. I have responsibilities, and my mind’s not what it used to be. I’ve invested in the company that makes those sticky notes.”
Chuckling, Brian goes back to pushing grass clippings into a pile. “Thanks, Agnes. I appreciate the help.”
“Likewise,” she says.
When Brian looks back over his shoulder at her, he finds her staring at his kitchen window again. Following her gaze, he notices the blinds are closed but a corner section is turned back, like someone inside has been looking around them and forgot to push them back in place. He wonders how long it might take to convince Nicole to come out and enjoy the world a little bit.
Chapter Thirty-Four
NICOLE FINDS HERSELF IN FRONT of the windows more and more often. At first it was enough to peek through the tiny holes where the small strings are threaded through the blinds, to see pin-prick pictures of the lawn and the road outside the house. But soon that felt like just a tease. She needed to see more. Her first attempt at really seeing anything came at night, after Brian had long fallen asleep.
Another nightmare about John finding her in the garage brings her to her feet tonight, and with no desire to drop back into the same visions, Nicole wanders out into the living room to kill some time. The window beckons her. There’s a whole world waiting out here, it says. Why can’t you be a part of it?
Brian’s the one who got her thinking this crazy stuff. She tried to convince herself that the world isn’t for her, that there are too many monsters waiting to attack her in it; but the idea of once again being a part of society is too tempting to ignore, to force out of her head. It’s alluring enough that she wants to take a peek at what’s outside.
She can no longer see the harm in looking out from the darkness into the midnight blue night. So that’s what she does. Several times now. She even steps out into the back yard from time to time when the moon is high and the stars are sparkling in the night sky. Sometimes she sits there for almost an hour, wondering where she fits into the big picture, trying to see her future. And all the while, Brian and Liam sleep on with their pleasant dreams, oblivious to the voices of her inner demons.
Tonight she moves into the kitchen, thinking a glass of wate
r might help distract her from her thoughts. As she stands at the sink, the window in front of her takes on an almost human quality. They can be friends, her and the window. It can keep the bad people from looking in, but if she wants, it can let her peek out so she can be a voyeur of the world.
Who will know? It’s too early for anyone to be awake. She’s done it several times now and all she’s ever seen is a cat or a dog or the old lady next door having a cup of coffee. The woman never looks over, though, allowing Nicole to be almost invisible. She pictures what the inside of the woman’s house might be like. She assumes there will be a lot of crocheted doilies for some reason.
Her hand lifts almost of its own accord. Before she can stop herself, she’s grabbing the bottom of the cord for the blinds and pulling it down. As she brings it closer and closer to the sink, the thin metal slats rise from the bottom, stacking one on the other to reveal the glass behind. One goes up against the other and then the next. Slowly but surely, more and more of the front porch and lawn is revealed.
Nicole’s heart is racing and her blood is rushing through her veins. John could come by any minute and see her. He could drive by in his truck and glance over, or decide to take a jog on this street instead of his own and then it would be all over. Her temporary reprieve from his world would end.
She talks to herself to calm down, so she can enjoy this brief moment of what feels like freedom. He’s sound asleep. He’s not out looking for you in the middle of the night. Don’t be ridiculous.
A movement out of the corner of the window catches her eye. The crashing pain of a panic attack seizes her as she realizes it’s a person standing there on the boarder of the lawn. John!
She yanks on the chord to try and put the blinds back down, but they go up instead, revealing more of her face. She panics, dropping down onto her knees in the kitchen. “Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!” she whispers desperately to herself as her eyes dart around the room. She spots the knife block on the counter and crawls over to grab a sharp weapon, to arm herself for a fight to the death because that’s what it’s going to take to get her to leave here alive.
A few breathless moments later, a tapping comes at the front door.
Nicole bites the meaty part of her thumb to keep from screaming. The fact that her worst nightmare is coming to life just as she’s awakened from it in sleep is enough to make her go crazy. Maybe she won’t be charged with murder when she stabs him in the heart. Maybe they can call it temporary insanity. Whatever happens, though, she cannot get Brian or Liam involved. She has to end it quickly and do it herself.
The tapping comes again. It’s delicate. Hesitant. It’s so un-John-like, it’s confusing.
“Hello?”
That’s not John’s voice. Is he with someone? I only saw one person. Nicole slowly rises into a crouched position, moving towards the front door just on the other side of the kitchen. Maybe it’s Helen. But why would Helen sneak around like this?
“It’s me, Agnes. Your next door neighbor. I saw you in the window. Just wanted to drop by and see if you’d like some coffee. I have a fresh cup of French roast in the pot.”
Nicole frowns as she looks over at the clock. It’s five in the morning and this lady wants to have coffee?
“I’ve seen you looking outside and sitting in the back yard,” Agnes continues in a soft voice. “I’d love to share some coffee and chat. I promise I don’t bite.”
Nicole’s heart aches with the desire to open the door, to act like a normal person and invite this old lady in for the coffee she so badly wants to have. But there’s just no way. This woman could never be prepared to deal with the nightmare that Nicole represents. It would shatter her world. Old people should be allowed to go to their graves without something this heavy weighing on their minds.
But Agnes is apparently a very persistent lady when it comes to sharing coffee. Silence does not dissuade her in the least. “You don’t need to worry about me, you know. I’ve been watching the street for you and Brian. Maybe if you tell me who I’m looking for, though, I can do a better job of it.”
Nicole stands and puts the knife on the counter, suddenly desperate to know how this woman knows anything about her or her situation. She can’t imagine that Brian has told the woman her secrets, but she has to find out. Trusting him to hide her secrets has taken everything she has inside her. Maybe Nicole’s looking for the one reason not to do that anymore, but she doesn’t stop to think about her motivations. She just walks over to the door and opens it a crack.
The woman has gray hair, and this morning it looks a little less coiffed than normal. She’s got a long-sleeved white blouse and green linen pants on. But the best part of the whole get-up is the pink Crocs with orange socks on underneath.
“Nice to meet you,” the woman says, practically glowing with hospitality. She puts her hand out. “I’m Agnes, the neighborhood busybody.”
Nicole doesn’t open the door any farther. “Hi,” she says, still trying to figure out what this woman’s deal is.
Agnes lowers her hand. “I’m just going to run over to grab a second cup. Shall I meet you in the back yard?”
Nicole can’t bring herself to answer. She shuts the door without a sound. Her throat burns with the tears she won’t let fall. This is no time to fall apart. It’s just a lonely woman looking for a coffee buddy.
As Agnes walks away and her footsteps cause one of the boards to creak, Nicole frets. Biting her lip, she considers all the fallout that could occur after having a coffee with Agnes out back. John could be sneaking around and then he’d see her. Or the woman could go tell John that she’s here. Or Brian could get mad at her for showing her face around his house. Or the entire world could blow up in a nuclear disaster making all of this a moot point.
Her feet walk her body to the back door as her mind comes up with more and more ridiculous reasons not to go outside. If only the call of the outdoors and the grass and the trees and that stupid French roast weren’t so much more compelling than her fears. Her hand drifts down to the knob and unlocks the door before twisting the handle. Am I completely insane? She’s going to have a heart attack when she sees my face.
The woman isn’t there. Nicole steps outside as the sun is coming up and setting the sky aglow. It’s too beautiful to miss, so she closes the door behind her, turning her face to the light and closing her eyes. She wonders if maybe when she leaves she can find a cabin at the top of a mountain so she can feel this sunlight at dawn and at sunset. She can’t think of a more peaceful way to live, especially considering how much she has to leave behind. It’s going to take a lot of nature’s miracles to help her move through that part of her plan.
“There you are,” says a warm voice from off to the side. The back gate is swinging closed behind Agnes as she walks carefully, trying not to spill two cups of coffee. Her footsteps are as sure as they can be in crocks on wet, lumpy grass. She glances up at Nicole only for a moment before going back to focusing on the hot drinks. “I was afraid you were going to make me drink both cups. My husband Willard would not appreciate that, believe me.”
She stops at the bottom stair, looking up at Nicole. “Gorgeous isn’t it?”
Nicole isn’t sure what she’s talking about, but it can’t possibly be her face.
“What?”
“The sunrise.” Agnes holds up the cup of coffee. “I make sure to see it every day. You never know when it’s going to be your last one. At my age, it’s important to appreciate the little things like the sun always rising in the east. So far it’s never let me down.”
Nicole gives up on her fear because at this point it feels ridiculous. She takes the cup, bringing it to her nose so she can inhale the rich steam. “I know what you mean.” She looks over at the skyline again as she takes a sip.
Agnes sits down on the top step, facing out into the backyard. “Brian does such a nice job with the landscaping. I wish my Willard would get off his duff and do the same.” She sighs. “Where there’s hope, there??
?s possibility, right?”
She turns and looks at Nicole, a kind expression on her face and questions behind her eyes.
“I don’t know,” Nicole says, taking another sip of her drink and looking off at the sun again. “Wishing can bring false hope and then what does that get you?”
“Temporary happiness? A little rest from the storm?” Agnes offers.
Nicole looks down at the woman, wondering what she’s getting at. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for coming out and sharing it with me. If I have more than two cups I’m a mess to deal with, and if I don’t have someone to share the pot, I end up having three. I don’t know what my problem is, but I have a hard time throwing away something so good. Seems a waste.”
Nicole is reading all kinds of things into what Agnes is saying, but the woman isn’t giving any indication that she means them for anything but face value. Nicole gives up on trying to figure out if the woman has any ulterior motives and sits down on the other side of the stairs, just a couple feet away.
“So what’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“It’s Briana.” Nicole isn’t sure if she should go with the sister-ruse, so she leaves it at that.
“Briana. That’s a nice name. Similar to Brian’s isn’t it?”
Nicole doesn’t answer; it sounds like a hypothetical question. She gets the distinct impression that this woman is way sharper than she’s given her credit for.
“Well, you know I’m Agnes, and maybe sometime you’ll meet my husband Willard. He sticks to the house most days, unless he gets it in his mind to wander. He does that sometimes, so if you ever see him strolling down the street, you let me know. I don’t want to lose the poor man.”
“Why does he wander?” She wonders if Willard is a prisoner in his home like she is, but finds it doubtful that a woman as nice as this one seems to be would do that.