“I don’t care that he was human. You let someone touch you.” He took a step forward but halted.
“So what?”
He snarled low but seemed to gain control of his temper. “You love me. I wasn’t wrong about seeing that yesterday, when I mentioned Lavos had found his mate. Your father told me the same thing when he argued that I shouldn’t be the one to feed you my blood.”
She wasn’t going to lie. He’d seen too many emotions on her face when her guard had been down. “I couldn’t exactly have you, could I? You avoided me as if I had the plague.”
He said nothing. Kira tried to guess why he’d be so angry since it didn’t make sense. He could have had her anytime he wanted. She decided to just ask.
“Why are you so mad?”
“You shouldn’t have allowed anyone to touch you when you have feelings for me.”
A sense of disbelief swept through her. “That’s stupid.”
His eyes widened.
“Seriously? That’s why you’re pissed? What was I supposed to do? Stay a virgin forever since you wouldn’t have sex with me? Not live at all?”
“Yes!”
She shoved off the covers, furious now. Her legs trembled when she stood. “I know you guys are all full of yourselves and egotistical as hell but get with reality, Mr. Superior Half-Breed.” Her temper flared. “Did you expect me to cry myself to sleep every time you went to the other clans?” Memories flashed through her mind of doing exactly that. “You sure as hell aren’t a virgin!”
He paled.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to pretend I didn’t know why you were going on your little trips? How’s your girlfriend?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Girlfriends then.” She hated how it tore at her heart, and always had, knowing he was sleeping with those women. “Oh, of course. You’re supposed to test out a lot of sexual partners, trying to find your mate. Typical VampLycan stuff. Get over yourself, if you think I was supposed to just suffer in silence and never try to move on with my life. I dated and I slept with a guy, hoping to do just that!”
He stalked across the room. The fluid way he moved never ceased to remind her that he was a predator. He paused when they almost bumped into each other.
Lorn reached out and brushed a long strand of hair over her shoulder, his hand hovering close to her throat. “I’m jealous.”
She was stunned.
“I want to track him down and rip the heart out of his chest for daring to put his hands on you.” His irises lightened and began to glow again. “I’m furious that anyone has known your body. I’d love to watch him die for that offense.”
Her mouth parted but she was mute, too confused to form words.
“You should have told me if you had a need for sex, Kira. I didn’t think you’d inherited those traits from your father.”
That jerked her out of the stupor. “What are you saying?”
“I would have helped you, tended to your needs. I could have done that without entering you.” His lips compressed into a tight line and a muscle along his jaw jumped. “Did you consider that the human could have gotten you pregnant? Abused you in some way? You should have trusted me enough to tell me you were experiencing the heat.”
“A sympathy fuck, minus the actual fucking?” She jerked away from his touch, wanting to slap him. “No thanks. It wasn’t my minimal Lycan blood putting me into heat and driving me to have sex with my boyfriend. Even humans crave sex, Lorn. They want to be touched and be intimate with another person. That’s natural. I’ve had a sex drive since I hit my mid-teens. It might not be as intense as what you experience but it’s still there.”
“Sympathy? Is that what you think I feel?”
“Yes! You always have! That’s why we became friends. You felt sorry for me.”
“I have felt a lot of things for you.” His voice deepened and anger flashed in his electrified-looking eyes when they flickered. “Never pity.” He leaned in close and growled. “You’d run from me right now if you could read my mind.”
“What does that mean?”
“Do you know why I stopped spending time with you?”
“You saw my breasts and got a hard-on.” She didn’t tiptoe around it. “It horrified you to have that reaction, so you avoided me.”
“I stayed away because I couldn’t trust myself to get too close. I would have been on you faster than you could have screamed.” His breathing increased until his chest rose and fell rapidly. “I would have ripped off your clothes and been balls deep inside you. I wanted to fuck you so bad I didn’t trust myself. My control was good, but never when it came to you.”
She let his words sink in. “Oh.” And yet, it wasn’t a total surprise. VampLycans had strong sex drives. She was a woman, after all.
“I had nightmares about it.”
That hurt. “I bet. The clan would have made fun of you relentlessly for lowering yourself enough to touch me.”
He leaned in closer, growling. “Don’t. Go. There.” He glanced at her lips before staring into her eyes again. “I never gave a damn about what any of them thought. I was afraid I’d hurt you, Kira. I’d wake in cold sweats after having dreams about you, the sound of your crying tearing at my guts, knowing I was the reason.”
“You wouldn’t have forced me, Lorn. You wouldn’t have had to. I wanted you.”
He backed away a few inches. “You’ve never seen one of us having sex.”
“Actually, I have.”
He glared. “Who touched you?”
“Give me a break! You guys love being outdoors. Nabby is quite the ladies’ man, it seems. He’s always doing it in the woods.”
He curled his lip in disgust. “With one of our clan members?”
“Try most of them. He’s got a spot down by the river that he takes them to. It also happens to be where I’m assigned to patrol sometimes. The guy is a real asshole and I’m pretty sure he gets caught on purpose. He’s lifted his head and smiled at me, putting on a show when I’ve come across him with some poor woman. It’s totally disgusting but I can’t exactly bust him for it. There’s no law that says he can’t fuck in the woods, even if it should be considered a public eyesore.”
“Did what you see frighten you?”
“Hell yeah.” She smirked. “I can’t believe anyone would be desperate enough to allow him to touch them. He must be really good at it because it sure isn’t his personality that’s the draw.”
Lorn didn’t crack a smile. “I’m serious.”
She sobered. “It was fucking, Lorn. I grew up in Alaska. Hello? Nature is all around us. You guys are a little rough, at least Nabby seems to be, but I’ve seen worse. He wasn’t tearing any of them up with his claws and no fighting was involved that ended in death. Real wolves can be brutal when both of them aren’t onboard with the sex thing.”
He silently studied her.
“Is the quiz over?” She glanced around, hoping to change the subject. She didn’t want to discuss sex with him anymore. It always triggered painful memories of him leaving to be with someone else.
“I was afraid I’d hurt you.”
“Get over yourself.” She turned, ready to lie down again. She was emotionally drained. “I have to think about my future. I waited a day too late to leave the clan.”
His strong fingers gripped her arm, spinning her to face him. “What do you mean? Were you planning to leave? Where? Who was taking you away?”
“My father offered to help me escape.” She avoided making eye contact. “It was a good time to go. Decker is gone and I doubt anyone else would have wasted the resources to come after me. They know I’d never reveal anything to the humans since it would put my dad in danger too.”
“Look at me.”
She raised her chin, staring into eyes. “What?”
“The Vamp who did this to you is dead. I wanted you to know that.”
“Good.”
Lorn backed away and dropped his hands. “I wanted
to kill him myself for forcing his blood down your throat but Lavos was the one who took him out.”
She hugged her waist. “He actually didn’t force me.”
The color drained from Lorn’s face. “You asked him to share his blood?”
“No! He was bleeding me dry and I couldn’t get away from him. It was die or bite back. I did what I had to do to survive. I was growing weaker by the second.” Unwanted tears filled her eyes. “Dying. I was desperate.”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving. “I understand.”
She was relieved. “I’d hoped the Lycan blood in me would fight it off and I wouldn’t turn.”
“You’re alive, and that’s all that matters now. I’m going to keep feeding you and hopefully my blood will infuse some of my Lycan traits into you.”
Lorn was risking a lot for her. “How long until we know?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Days? Weeks?”
Lorn shrugged. “For however long it takes.”
“The clan will search for you if you’re gone for more than a few days. They’ll scent me on you if I’m staying here and you return to them. I stink of Vampire, don’t I?”
He inhaled. “You smell good to me.”
“You’re being nice again. Do I smell like a suckhead?”
“Kira,” he rasped, snagging her shoulder with one of his large hands. “You smell like you.”
“I won’t allow you to risk your life to protect mine. You’ve done it too many times before.” She understood all the risks he’d taken for her already just by concealing what had happened. The clan would be furious that he’d harbored a Vampire in their territory. “Get my dad, Lorn. He’ll take me to Velder’s clan.”
His mouth parted and he revealed his fangs. “No. You’ll stay here, where you’re safe. I won’t allow some stranger to force you into mating with him. You’re vulnerable when you feed.”
“No VampLycan is going to mate me. It was bad enough when I was mostly human. Now they have to protect their necks from me at all times.”
“They don’t kill members in Velder’s clan when they inherit Vampire-dominant traits. That son of a bitch enforcer will feed you, you’ll react the way you did with me, and he’ll take advantage. You’ll snap out of it with his fangs in your neck and his dick in your—” He snarled. “Sorry. It pisses me off just thinking about it.”
“I’ll just tell him I don’t want a mate or a lover.”
“He won’t be able to resist. Hell, I’m barely able to fight the urge.”
Her eyes widened. He’d stunned her again.
Lorn squeezed her shoulder. His gaze flicked down her body. “We have to put on more clothes before your next feeding. Speaking of, your father is above ground, waiting for us.”
“Don’t let me bite him, okay?” It was a real fear. “Please?”
“I’ll stay close. You should be good for a few hours before you’re hungry again.”
“You think so? I thought newbies needed blood all the time.”
“Let’s hope for both our sakes that isn’t true.”
“Why?” A thought struck. “Am I going to need too much blood from you?”
“It’s not that.” His gaze lowered down her body again.
Lorn wanted her. The hungry look in his eyes couldn’t be missed.
“I’m going to lend you a sweater and some sweatpants. I’ll use a knife to shorten the legs so you don’t step on them.”
He turned away and opened a cupboard, leaving Kira to stare after him.
Chapter Seven
Kira noticed her heightened senses immediately as soon as they left the den. She could smell the trees, the flowers, and even her father. Her vision had heightened, despite the darkness. Lorn stayed at her side as she turned left, following the familiar scent. She didn’t need to be told where her father waited. His heat signature made him glow red a little when she spotted him.
“Kira,” her dad whispered.
“Dad!” She ran forward and threw her arms around his waist.
He hugged her hard. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t do that. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should have sent you away the minute Decker left, or gone looking for you sooner so I’d have realized you hadn’t made it home.”
She fought tears and pulled away enough to peer at his face. She hated seeing the pained look he sported. “I’m okay. I mean, for being a suckhead.”
He winced. “There might be a way to—”
“I shared what you said,” Lorn growled. “I even told her about Velder’s offer to give her to one of his enforcers in exchange for blood. She’s staying with me.”
Her father stiffened. “She’s better off leaving here.”
“So you’ve repeatedly said. Remember my texts. She’s better off not being forced to mate some asshole,” Lorn countered. “She should have choices. Give it a chance.”
“Dad.” Kira drew his attention.
He looked at her. “It’s better in the long run if you go to the other clan. I know it wasn’t the life you planned but you’ll be safe there. Even if taking his blood gives you Lycan traits, you’ll never be safe here.” Her father glared at Lorn. “For so many reasons.”
Kira glanced between them, feeling as if she were missing something. She let it go though. Her father was upset over what had happened to her and Lorn seemed on edge, probably because of all he risked to keep her safe. “Do you know how long it takes before we know if I’m changing at all? Did Velder tell you that?”
Davis shook his head. “They aren’t sure but he implied it was less than a week. The young couple hadn’t been that forthcoming with honest answers. They were afraid they’d get into trouble since they weren’t mated yet but sharing blood. She was a few months shy of reaching the age of consent. Now she’s fine.”
“I’d rather stay here with Lorn. At least for now. He told me that the clan thinks he’s hunting the Vamps who invaded our territory. That will give us a few days before they become suspicious.”
Her father cleared his throat. “Can we talk alone?”
“No.” Lorn stepped closer. “I’m not leaving her side. She could get hungry.”
Kira winced when her dad snarled and tried to shove her out of the way. She wasn’t about to let the two men she loved fight over her.
She gripped his shirt and hung on tight. The material tore a little and it made her father pause.
“You’re stronger.”
“Suckhead, remember?”
He didn’t look amused. “I want to talk privately with you. I don’t think it’s a good idea if you stay with Lorn or allow him to feed you. I take it you’ve already done so at least once. You’re very calm, and you wouldn’t be if you hadn’t fed yet. I dealt with a lot of Vampires living in the outside world with your mother.”
She knew he was concerned—and she knew why. She glanced back at Lorn. “Can we have a few minutes? I promise to yell out if I start eyeballing his neck.”
Lorn didn’t look happy about it but gave a sharp nod. He spun, stomping out of sight behind some trees. She could hear him even after he was gone and waited until his footsteps faded.
She met her father’s concerned stare. “What is it?”
“You’re going to get hurt,” he whispered.
He knew how much she loved Lorn. She could even agree with him. “I almost died.”
“I know.”
“Do you know what I thought when I was sure my life was over?”
He hugged her. “I can guess.”
They’d always been close. She nodded. “I’d rather have a few days with Lorn than go through whatever life I have left with regrets. I want to try this with him. It might work, and I’d rather not remain a suckhead. I also don’t want to be mated to some stranger unless it’s the absolute last option. I can live anywhere as a VampLycan. I won’t be so vulnerable to attack. Besides, if I have to drink blood, I’d rather it be his. You know how I feel about
him. Does that make sense, or is it gross and disturbing?”
Tears filled her father’s eyes. “You’ll be spending almost every moment with him for the next few days. That means close quarters. He’s also single. I’m guessing he didn’t build his den to include two beds.”
“There’s only one.”
Her father’s mouth tightened into a grim line. “He’s going to break your heart more than he already has.”
“That’s not possible,” she whispered.
“Damn it, Kira. I really think you should leave here with me. This enforcer sounds like a good, honorable man. He’s offering you everything Lorn never could. He’ll mate you even if you remain a Vampire.”
“But I don’t love Velder’s enforcer. I figure I already died last night when I was attacked, and this is all bonus time. Let me use it how I want, Dad. Please? I want to be with Lorn, even if it’s just for a matter of days. I’ll regret it otherwise.”
He sighed. “I understand. I knew it might not end well with your mother, since she was forbidden. I never regretted it though. I had to take that chance, regardless of the outcome.”
The ache in her chest was a good one, despite seeing his raw pain. It proved her parents really had loved each other. “I want to stay as long as I can with him. Just promise to let us know if the clan starts to become suspicious. I’ll leave with you then. I don’t want to get Lorn in trouble or put his life in danger. I know they’ll punish him. He’s risking a lot.”
Her father bent forward and brushed a kiss on her forehead. “Are you sure this isn’t going to make it worse for you?”
“It probably will but I want to stay with him. Who said love ever made sense? Nobody I know.” She gave him a sad smile.
“I understand. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
He released her. “Let’s get you back to him before you need another feeding.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll pack up your stuff so it’s ready to go if we need to get you out of the territory fast. The clan believes you’re dead, and won’t find it odd for me to get rid of your belongings.”
She winced. “I’m sure some of them are pretty happy about me being gone. Did they plan a party yet?”