Page 29
Author: Robyn Carr
“Mama!” Rosie shouted excitedly. Then pointing, she said, “Daddy, Mommy, Rosie!”
“Were you going to surprise me with the cleanup?” she asked hopefully.
“Of course,” he said. “Maybe you should just go to your room and read or something until I have a chance to get things under control. ”
“I’ll go change and then come and help,” she said. Briefcase in hand, she went to her bedroom and within five seconds she was immediately back in the dining room. “There appears to be a large duffel bag in my bedroom. ”
“I’m moving in for a while, unless you throw me out. My mom is at Luke’s for the evening. She and I will spend tomorrow afternoon with Rosie while you’re in Redding at work. I thought I’d take babysitting duty while you do your twenty-four-hour shift. If that’s okay with you. Wednesday morning, while Rosie’s at preschool and day care, I’m driving my mom to the airport. She’s going home to get some things done around her condo so she can come right back. I guess the plants are dying, and the bills need to be paid. On the way over here this afternoon, after picking up my things at Luke’s, I scoped out the pumpkin patch and bought new pajamas. ” He grinned at her. “I thought you might be annoyed we didn’t invite you along, so I took lots of pictures. ”
“Weren’t you going to ask?” she said.
“About the pumpkin patch?” he returned.
“About the pajamas,” she stressed.
He straightened and his expression was serious. “I was going to beg. I have four weeks of leave, if they don’t call me in early. Can you put up with me? If I’m neat?”
Her heart swelled, but she was afraid to let it show. He’d always been neat. In fact, he was a little on the fussy side. Things he valued had to be perfectly maintained—his home, his car, his man toys. Put up with him?
“We’ve never actually done this before, you know,” she pointed out to him. “We’ve never really lived together. ”
The look in his eyes was tender. “We should have. ”
Rosie was a princess for Halloween, big surprise. There was a battle about wearing the plastic high heels without socks, and Sean was relieved when Franci handled that war without getting him involved. She let Sean take Rosie around the neighborhood for candy while she stayed home to hand it out to the goblins who came to her door. And then the tussle over how much candy Rosie could eat was handled again by Franci.
Franci thought she’d won the battle. Rosie was allowed two and a half pieces of candy, followed by bath and bed. The combination of the cold weather, the trek around the neighborhood and the excitement of the whole thing wore her out and Rosie crashed by seven-thirty. However, she sprang awake and was ready to party at 2:00 a. m. She was suddenly standing right beside Sean, wearing her princess dress. “Daddy?” she asked. “Are you still on bacation?”
“What are you doing up? And in your fancy dress?”
“I dunno,” she answered with a shrug. “Can we twick or tweet again?”
“It’s two in the morning, Rose. Everyone is in bed. Everyone but you. ”
“The candy,” Franci moaned. “A sugar charge, then a sugar drop-off, and then a recharge. ” She lifted up on an elbow and looked down at Sean. “Your turn, Daddy. You’re on bacation. ”
Franci was a little surprised by how much relief she felt when Maureen left town; she hadn’t realized that Sean’s mother made her tense. Once it was back to just the three of them, life seemed calmer. Simpler and easier. When Franci worked, Sean was in charge; when Franci was home, Vivian didn’t interfere, but left them to what passed for family life. It wasn’t as though she and Sean had made concrete plans, though they couldn’t until Sean had some idea what was next for him with the air force. They were still rolling along, one day at a time. They did a lot of talking about the possibilities, but so much was up in the air until Sean had some idea what his next assignment would be.
They hadn’t said the I love you’s yet, at least not in the clear light of day. She’d heard him whisper it in the dark of night when he thought she was asleep. But everything they talked about had them moving forward as a team as best they could under such uncertain circumstances.
Franci decided that when Maureen came back to town, which she was planning to do fairly soon, she would make the time to have a private conversation with her, make sure they were on the same page, so their relationship could be as smooth and tension free as possible—for all their sakes.
One thing that she had to deal with immediately, however, was T. J. She hadn’t spoken to him in more than a week—ever since that last call he’d made to her cell phone while she was working in Redding. She could almost feel the trouble brewing like a storm cloud—he had stopped calling and she had made no effort to get in touch with him. It was a standoff. She had to put it to rest. Even if she and Sean didn’t go one step further in their relationship, she’d never again spend time with T. J.
She knew he kept office hours on Thursdays when he was in town, so after teaching her two classes she went to his office. She found he was in conference with a student when she arrived, so she jotted a note on the clipboard hanging outside the closed door. Went to get a soda, she wrote. Be back in ten minutes to see you. When she returned, his door was ajar and he was seated at his desk in the small campus office. She tapped on the open door and he looked up. Then he sat back in the chair, pulled off his reading glasses and swiveled in her direction. “Come in, Francine. Close the door. I’ve been wondering when you’d show up. ”
“I should have stopped by sooner, but life got real hectic,” she said, entering and pulling the door closed. There was one chair beside his desk and she sat there.
“I can imagine,” he said. “How’s the new guy working out?”
She laughed uncomfortably. “That was direct,” she said. “He’s not new, as you already know. And he came with a mother and four brothers and lots of other complications. But we’re getting along just fine, thank you. ”
“I can see that,” he said.
She tilted her head and frowned a little bit. “You can?”
He leaned toward her. “I used to be the one to put that shine in your eyes. ” Then he laughed when she took on a slight blush. “So…I guess it’s all settled. You’re taking the leap. You’ve moved on. ”
She didn’t know what to say for a moment. She was frankly surprised to find he was as pleasant as that. “I guess you’re letting me off without any explanation. ”
“Don’t waste your breath. No matter what you say, Francine, we both know you’re making a big mistake here. And we both know you’re going to do it, anyway. ”
“Mistake? Do you have any idea what it is I’m doing? Because I don’t recall explaining my plans to you. ”
“As if that’s necessary,” he said with a harsh laugh. “You’re going to give up everything you’ve established here—the stability of your job, your friends, the option of a normal relationship with a man you can count on who will make sure your happiness comes first. And you’re going to do that for some flyboy kid who wouldn’t commit to you in the first place. You’ll end up sorry. Unhappy and full of regrets. He let you down before and he’ll let you down again. ”
Ah. Now that was what she expected. She almost smiled—she’d never seen this side of T. J. when he was ordering her meals and asking her to grow out her hair, and she wondered now how she could have been so naive. Undoubtedly he thought he had been doing her a great service. But the second Sean turned up, he’d let his true colors come out. He must have thought she would defer to him forever. He thought he owned her. She leaned toward him. “When did you turn into this person?” she asked, her voice rather soft under the circumstances. “Were you always like this and I just didn’t realize it? When you were telling me what to eat and how to wear my hair—was that just the tip of the iceberg and I was too accommodating to understand what a mistake it was to allow that behavior?
”
He actually sneered at her. “How like you to see the worst in a good situation. I should have known better than to get mixed up with someone like you. You’re a child. ”
“Oh, T. J. , when did you become this kind of man? What did I miss? We dated for a few months, and in fact no more often than once a week, but I don’t recall that we had the kind of relationship that would invite this kind of anger from you. We didn’t have future plans, you and I. ”
“Our relationship was stable. This thing you’re trading it for, it’ll be a disaster because he isn’t moving to Humboldt County. Even if he could, you and I both know he isn’t the kind of man who will give up anything for you. Or for his daughter. You’ll have to give up everything you value and go chasing him around the world if you want to be with him. Trust me, you’ll be right back where you started. Abandoned. ”
“Whoa,” she said, affronted. “I’m not even going to ask you how you came to all these conclusions. I’m not going to defend Sean to you, but have you ever met him?”
“I know that any man who cared about you would have made it his business to find you a long time ago. I would have. If I thought you had any feelings for me whatsoever, I’d tear up the country looking for you. And he never even tried. ”
Well, she thought, she had told him the whole, sad story. “There are things to resolve about that, but—”
“Before you pull up stakes, you’d better try to think clearly, Franci. There’s still time for you to be smart, use that little tiny brain of yours. You know how I feel about you. And you know I can keep the blush on your cheeks, too. He might seem a little dangerous and daring and have that sex appeal that goes with jets and secret missions, but that will wear thin. He’s a young idiot who likes living on the edge, and that isn’t father material. You’re going to be very disappointed. ”
A huff of laughter escaped her in spite of herself. “Sean? Dangerous?” Then she laughed outright. “My tiny brain?” She stood. “I guess I’m a little confused, T. J. I thought you liked me, but I had no idea you took our relationship as seriously as that, nor did I realize you didn’t think I was smart. I’m sorry you’re angry. But I can’t possibly describe how positively relieved I am that I won’t be spending time with you ever again. ”
He stood as well. “If I’m angry at all, it’s because you led me on. I’m not a kid anymore, Francine, and I know what works and what doesn’t. A lot of that I learned the hard way, through my own mistakes. Just the way you will. ”
“Best of luck, T. J. ,” she said, turning to leave his office.
“If you come to your senses soon, get in touch. But I won’t wait around long. ”
Well, that’s a good thing, she thought. She turned back to look at him. “Don’t wait for me. In fact, go ahead and delete my phone number. ” And then she left the building.
It hit her that something about that little confrontation was all wrong! What was this talk about being the one to put the shine in her eyes? Hadn’t he complained that they needed to “turn up the heat”? And how in the world had she led him on? By not complaining when he wanted to order for both of them? When going along with his plans for a date, though he never once asked her what she’d like to do? She hadn’t questioned the relationship because it had worked for her. And it had worked for her because she hadn’t been emotionally invested. But neither had he!
She left the campus. All the way home she was asking herself how she had missed who he really was. And why hadn’t the relationship grated on her more? You’re a child, rang in her ears.