“Photography.” He pats his bag, where a camera strap is hanging out. “I actually got a scholarship. That’s part of the reason why I ended up here.”
The professor dismisses class and we start to gather our stuff.
“Seriously? That’s fucking cool.” I glance down at his bag as I stand to my feet and stretch out my arms. “Can I see some of your photos or is that too personal, like people with their journals?”
“No, it’s okay.” He gets to his feet, unzips his bag, and pulls out his camera.
“Are you sure? Sometimes I have issues with crossing the boundaries of personal space. Or so I’ve been told. Personally, I don’t see it.”
He chuckles as he taps a button, the screen lights up, and he hands it to me. “No, I promise you’re cool. A lot of my photos have been entered in contests, so tons of people have seen them.”
“Awesome.” I hold the camera in my hands and try to figure out how to get to the slideshow.
He leans over, pressing a button on the screen, and his fingers brush mine before he pulls away. My stomach spins like a disco ball, but I focus on flipping through the photos.
Scrolling through each one, I notice a few landscapes, but most are of people. In each shot, he manages to capture a passionate sense of emotion. “Wow, these are amazing.”
I’m a little stunned when I recognize the people in the next frame. I stop, staring down at a photo of me laughing with Callie outside on a bench. I tap to the next one and then the next, both of which are of me. In fact, the next twenty are all of me. Some I look happy in, but in a few, I see the pain I always carry with me.
I look over at Greyson. “When did you take these?”
With his brows furrowed, he leans over to see what I’m looking at. Then his eyes widen. “Fuck, I forgot those were on there.” He snatches the camera away from me, shuts it off, and stuffs it into his bag. “I swear I’m not a stalker. I just saw you on the first day of school and,” he slings his bag over his arm, and then fiddles with a leather bracelet on his wrist, “I don’t know, I just wanted to take pictures of you.”
He’s so embarrassed he’s actually blushing, which is quite possibly the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
“It’s okay,” I tease, falling right back into the flirty again, for a moment being the old Seth. “I know how irresistible I can be.”
A small smile rises on his lips as we head out of the classroom. “So, you’re not completely weirded out?”
I shake my head. “Oddly, I’m kind of flattered, but that’s probably the attention whore side of me speaking.”
He peers around the empty room and then stares at me.
“What?” I pause in the doorway, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“It’s nothing. I just realized you never did answer me about the tutoring thing.”
“You really need a tutor?” Because I’m highly suspicious that this is his way of asking me out.
“A little bit.” The lie is written all over his face, but he doesn’t seem like he’s trying very hard to cover it up. “Maybe you could come over to my apartment tonight and help me with that stupid essay we’re supposed to be writing. We could get some pizza or takeout.”
As we step into the hallway, I open my mouth to answer, still unsure whether I’m going to reject or accept his offer. I never get to find out how brave I’m feeling today, because my phone goes nuts inside my pocket.
“Hold that thought.” I hold up my finger while I dig out my phone from my pocket.
Callie: Hey, you want to go to a carnival tonight? Luke and I are headed to one.
Me: Luke and you? WTF?!?!? I thought you were into Kayden?
Callie: It’s not like that. We’re just friends. I helped him out with something today. And FYI, Kayden and I are just friends, too.
Me: Sure u r ;)
Callie: Le sigh.
Me: Don’t le sigh me, baby girl.
Callie: So, will u come? It should be fun. Plus, I really need u there. I know Luke’s cool and everything, but I still get nervous sometimes and Kayden’s going to be there, too. I’ll be the only girl.
Me: U know I’ll always b there for u.
Callie: Thanks :) You’re the best.
Me: Well, duh. That’s kind of a given. I think I’ll text Kayden and see if he wants a ride. I know he doesn’t have a car.
Callie: Sounds good. Text me when u get there.
I send Kayden a text and we make plans to ride over together. Stuffing my phone back in my pocket, I offer Greyson an apologetic look as I squeeze past people crowding the hall. “Sorry, but I can’t make it tonight.” When his smile falters, I feel like the worst person in the entire universe. Well, besides Kayden’s girlfriend, Daisy. That bitch is seriously evil. “I’d love to help you, but that was one of my friends on the phone. She needs my help with stuff,” I stumble over my words as his frown deepens into a full-on pout. “Carnival stuff.” As soon as I say it, I realize how stupid it sounded. “I swear to God, I’m not blowing you off. I just have this friend who has a hard time around guys and needs me to be there for her when she hangs out with the guy she likes.”
“Is it that girl you were with in the photos?” he asks, relaxing a tad.
“Yeah, she’s been through a lot and is always there for me. If it were anyone else, I would’ve said no. I promise.”
“No, it’s cool. I get it.” He pauses, stopping near the exit doors. “I actually promised a couple of my friends I’d go to the carnival with them sometime this week, so maybe I’ll head down tonight and we can meet up and hang out. Maybe ride the Ferris Wheel or something.”
“Ferris Wheel?” I arch my brow at him. “Isn’t that the one that takes forever to go around in a full circle? Like, the boringest ride ever?”
“What? I find it relaxing,” he says with this sexy half-grin. “Besides, it’s probably one of the best date rides ever because you get to spend all your time talking during the slow circle.”
He waits for me to agree that we should meet up. I know what agreeing would mean, that I’m deciding to open myself up again, to love, to heartache, to pain.
My heart thrashes in my chest as I surprise myself and nod. “Okay, I’ll see you there.”
He grins as he takes out his phone. “What’s your number? I’ll text you when I get there.”
I give him my phone number and he punches it into his contacts. Moments later, my phone vibrates from inside my pocket and I take it out.
Unknown: Hey, it’s Greyson. Thought you should have my number, too.
I fight back a grin, feeling stupidly happy, but I can’t completely ignore the scars on my hand as I send him a reply text.
Chapter 5
Greyson
“Aw, man.” Jenna sticks out her lip at the empty bag of cotton candy she’s holding. “I’m tapped out.”
We’re at the carnival, wandering past the booths. The air smells like candy apples and funnel cakes, neon lights flash against the night sky, and dings and laughter flow around us.
“That’s okay,” Ari says, dragging his fingers through his long black hair. He’s got on a leather jacket, even though it’s seventy degrees out, and seems a little exhausted. “You’ve had so much already you have a sugar high.”
Jenna shakes her head and her pout deepens. “I could eat at least two more bags.”
“Fine, you can eat two more bags, but only if I get to stop on the way home and buy a six pack of energy drinks,” he challenges with his arms crossed and I wonder if keeping up with Jenna’s nonstop energy caused his exhaustion.
Jenna crinkles her nose. “No way. You act like a yo-yo when you drink too many of those.”
“A yo-yo?” I ask, laughing. “What does that even mean?”
She shoots Ari a conniving grin then says, “It means he’s all over the place, like a crazy madman who can’t sit still. Up and down and up and down. It drives me absolutely crazy.”
“Well, I feel the exact same way when you e
at too much sugar,” he retorts with a smirk.
I laugh. The two of them have been going back and forth the entire night. I’m starting to realize it’s their thing. They’re really good together, though, and I find myself wishing I had someone to be that way with. With the guys I’ve dated in the past, I never felt connected enough.
“You look good tonight,” Jenna says to me as she balls up the bag and chucks in into a nearby trash bin. “Do you have a hot date or something?” When I hesitate, her eyes light up. “You so do, don’t you?”
“It’s not a date,” I clarify as we head toward the rides, pushing past a group of people who are either high on sugar or just really fucking happy to be at a carnival. “I just told someone I’d meet him here to hang out.”
“Is it that guy you took all those pictures of?” she asks, slipping her fingers through Ari’s.
I shrug, dodging around a couple making out in front of a balloon game. “Maybe.”
Her lips curve to a grin. “I knew it.” She trades a knowing look with Ari. “Didn’t I tell you that the other day? That he was going to end up with the guy in all his pictures?”
Ari sighs a here-we-go-again sigh. “Yeah, you told me, but it doesn’t mean you’re a psychic.”
“It so does, too.” She sticks out her tongue then jerks on his arm. “Come on. You promised me you wouldn’t be a baby this time and you’d ride the Zipper with me.”
Ari’s skin pales. “You know I hate super fast rides.” He swallows hard as his gaze finds the spinning ride tucked in the far back corner. “And ones that go high.”
“You promised me,” she reminds him.
He heaves a heavy sigh. “All right.” He glances at me. “Greyson, you coming?”
Wanting to wait until Seth texts me, I shake my head. “I think I’m going to chill here for a while.”
“And wait for the guy!” Jenna singsongs as she skips off toward the Zipper, towing a reluctant Ari behind her.
I lean against the side of a booth and watch people pass by to kill time. When ten minutes pass, I start to grow restless and wish I had my camera here. There’s so many people around and with the crazy lighting going on, it’d make for some awesome pictures.
As more time passes, I turn to my camera phone and as discreetly as I can, sneak a picture of a guy and a girl making out on a booth kitty-corner from where I’m standing. I find it amazing to watch them, completely losing themselves in a sea of people, entirely oblivious to everything going on around them.
After I get the right shot, I put my phone away, starting to regret my decision to stay off the rides. While Seth and I didn’t necessarily set a specific time to meet up, it’s getting late. With how hot and cold he’s been, I wouldn’t be surprised if he stood me up.
As if he can read my doubtful thoughts, the phone suddenly vibrates. I dig it out and Seth’s name flashes across the glowing screen.
Seth: Where r u?
I glance at the spinning ride beside me then message him back.
Me: By the Tilt-A-Whirl
Seth. A fast ride. Interesting. I thought you a take it slow, Ferris Wheel date kind of guy.
Me: Ha, ha. I never said I was solely a take it slow, Ferris Wheel kind of guy. I like fast rides, too.
“So, the Tilt-A-Whirl, huh?” Seth suddenly appears by my side.
He looks good in jeans and boots topped with a jacket over a button down shirt, making my grey thermal shirt and jeans that Jenna called my “dressed up look” seem plain and ordinary.
I blatantly check him out for a moment or two before I shove my phone into my pocket and skim the growing crowd. “Where’s your friend? I thought you had to stay with her.”
“Callie? She got on the Zipper with the guy she has a crush on.” He considers something thoughtfully as he rolls his sleeves up. “She’s starting to handle being around guys better than she thinks. I’m more of her security blanket than anything.”
We start walking past the games and food booths, heading nowhere in particular.
“Can I ask why she’s so afraid of guys?” I ask. “Or is that too personal?”
He wavers. “I can’t get into the details, but I’ll say it’s because something really bad happened to her when she was young.”
“Poor girl. You must really care about her, though. To take care of her like that.”
“I feel like she’s the sister I never had.” He swings around the couple making out on the bench and then returns to my side. “Do you have any sisters?”
I shake my head. “I’m an only child.”
“Me, too.” He frowns, appearing unhappy about this. “Doesn’t it suck, having all the attention on you twenty-four seven?”
I shrug, kicking at the dirt. “I really don’t mind it. My parents are actually pretty cool, albeit a little weird and eccentric.”
He angles his head to the side. “What do you mean by weird and eccentric?”
“Well, my mom is a nonpracticing psychic/tarot card reader whose hobbies include making pot brownies on the weekend for her yoga club. And my father is an herbalist who spends a lot of time with my mom, her pot brownies, and the yoga club.”
He snorts a laugh, his eyes crinkling around the corners. “They actually sound pretty fun. I bet you had a blast growing up.”
“It was definitely interesting. I mean, I had access to pot brownies and can even make them myself. I know how to cleanse my aura and what herbs are best to take when you’re sick. But I don’t know,” I pause, stuffing my hands into my back pockets. “Sometimes it felt like I was more of the parent than the child.”
He stares at the sky, looking as if he’s contemplating his next words. When he meets my gaze again, he seems nervous. “Does she… Do your parents know that you’re…”
“That I’m gay?” I finish for him.
Relief washes over his face as he nods. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, I told them when I was fourteen. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” Stepping around a bench, I make a left toward a ticket booth. “What about you?
“My mom knows,” he says tightly, staring out at the quiet street next to the fairgrounds.
“What about your dad?” I ask as I dig my wallet out of my pocket.
“He’s been out of the picture for a while.”
“Fuck. Sorry, man.” I feel like an ass for bringing it up.
He shrugs me off. “It’s fine. He was kind of an asshole, anyway, so I really don’t care.”
I pull a ten out of my wallet and slide it through the hole at the bottom of the ticket window. “So, your mom. How did she react?”
He scratches his cheek, seeming uneasy. “She’s a very old-fashioned woman so…” He shrugs.
I want to smack myself on the head for opening my mouth. “Fuck, I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing. You didn’t know. And besides, that’s in the past. I’ve moved on…” He glances down at his arm and a pucker forms at his brow. “Sort of.” He blows out a breath then smiles up at me, going from night to day in the snap of a finger. “But anyway, let’s talk about something else.” His gaze glides toward the booths. “Like why the hell a girl wearing a poodle skirt is flailing her arms at us.”
I collect the tickets from the cashier, put my wallet back into my pocket, and then track his gaze, finding Jenna waving her hands at us with a grin plastered on her face. “Oh, that’s Jenna.”
“The friend you came here with?” he asks and I nod. “She seems… super happy.” His head tilts to the side as he muses over something before a slow grin spreads across his face. “I think I like her already.”
Jenna comes racing over and without warning, throws her arms around Seth. “Oh, my God! It’s so nice to finally meet Hot Picture Guy.”
Seth cocks a brow at me from over her shoulder and mouths, Hot Picture Guy? Then he laughs when I get a little uncomfortable.
I was so fucking embarrassed when he saw those pictures on my came
ra and it still makes me feel uncomfortable, even if Seth seemed more flattered than creeped out.
Seth gives Jenna this huge hug back and even bounces up and down with her.
“I love, love your outfit,” he says when they pull back. “It’s very fifties retro.”
Jenna fiddles with the hem of her skirt. “Thanks. I love shopping at vintage stores. You can find so much amazing stuff there.”