Only giving to him.
“Sixx,” he bit off, pressing his forehead into hers, and she saw it beginning.
“For you,” she whispered. “Just you.”
“Goddammit, Sixx,” he groaned.
His head snapping back with nowhere to go, it slammed against the headboard, and Sixx kept moving on him, working him, taking him through his orgasm.
When he was done, she settled, full of him, and his head slid down the side of hers so his forehead rested on her shoulder.
She closed her eyes and memorized that moment to commit to her sketchpad later.
When she had, Sixx let his wrists go. His hands immediately moved to grab her, but she was quicker.
She swung off, disconnecting them, exiting the bed.
She walked to the bathroom and cleaned up.
She walked into the closet and took off her bralette and shoes, pulling on a shapeless T-shirt nightie.
She walked out of the closet, back into the bathroom. She cleaned her face, brushed her teeth, turned out the light, and surprisingly, found the bedroom dark when she entered it.
But then again, it wasn’t surprising.
Stellan would guess that was what she would need.
So he made it so.
Sixx pulled back the covers and got into bed, settling on her side only to be drawn directly into Stellan’s body.
She closed her eyes and braced.
“I get it,” he said into the back of her hair, tightening his hold on her, pulling her closer, molding her back to his front. “I understand now.”
He’d never understand.
He was too strong.
Too right.
Too good.
Too beautiful.
He could lose his parents, and go on.
He could lose his sister, and go on.
He would lose her, and go on.
“In your scenes, why it’s always about them, your subs,” he continued. “Why you barely touch them. Why you let yourself have nothing. It seems you’re detached, removed, indifferent, but you aren’t, my darling, are you? What it is for any good Dom goes doubly for you. Doesn’t it, Simone? You’re giving them exactly what they want, entirely focused on giving them precisely what they need. Sacrificing your own needs to hone in with utter absorption to give to them what they want the most. It isn’t a disconnect. The reason they’re begging for it is that they’ve never had it so good.”
“I need to sleep now, Stellan,” she replied.
“If you ever need that again, Sixx, you ask me to the couch, another room, lead me to the playroom, but not in our bed. In our bed, you climax, even if it’s eventually. Sixx and Simone sleep at my side, but only Simone fucks me in this bed, including when I have to break through Sixx to get to her. Is that understood?”
It was very much understood in a number of ways.
Including that he would give that to her again if she needed it.
He’d do anything for her.
Even take an orgasm it was she who would not allow him to return instead of the other way around.
He gave her a squeeze. “Simone, is that understood?”
“It’s understood,” she mumbled.
His arm loosened … somewhat.
She lay in his hold and stared at the dark.
“What made you cry?” he whispered.
Of course he didn’t miss that.
Then again, she hadn’t hidden it.
I’m in love with you.
“Simone, sweetheart, what made you cry?” he repeated when she did not answer out loud.
I never want to leave you. I want to stay forever and knock myself out to make you happy.
Stellan burrowed his face in her hair and murmured, “That’s all right, honey. You don’t have to answer.”
Of course she didn’t.
“I’ll get you there,” he promised quietly.
No you won’t.
“And when you’re there, I’ll make you happy.”
That isn’t the goal. If that was to happen, it would need to be the other way around.
“He’d want you to be happy, Simone,” he said gently.
That had her shutting her eyes tight.
This morning it’s my famous French toast for my baby girl!
“Please, stop talking,” she begged.
“All right, darling,” he murmured.
Stellan held her.
Sixx let him.
He did not fall asleep before her.
And she did not fall asleep before she prepared herself mentally and knew when the next day dawned, she could endure.
Two weeks.
And five days.
Then the torture would be over.
For Stellan.
fifteen
Rare Slices of Perfection
SIXX
“I get that you have a life. I’m glad that you have a life. It’s fantastic to learn a friend of mine is part of that life. Stellan is a good man, and I see good things for the two of you. Now that you’re seeing each other, I realize I should have thought to set you up with the guy. You’re perfect for him. And honestly, I knew the good stuff had to end eventually. A woman like you wouldn’t be able to give us twenty-four-seven forever. But you need to let us know if we need another investigator, Sixx. Even if part-time or on contract. I’ll make it clear your position is not in jeopardy. You’re allowed to have a life. We’ve enjoyed having you available to us, like, we’ve been able to utilize you for longer than we should have, frankly. But the work still has to get done, and we’re up against a wall with this one, and we’ve got nothing to go on.”
Sixx sat opposite her boss in his office, and even though he was telling her she was falling down on the job, what she heard repeated in her head was I actually should have thought to set you up with the guy, you’re perfect for him.
“How did you know about me and Stellan?” she asked, and Joel Trebek’s eyebrows went up.
“Sorry, was it a secret?” he asked back.
“No, I just haven’t shared about us in the office.”
In fact, Sixx didn’t share anything at the office, and not just because she rarely came to the office. So she definitely had not shared that.
He nodded. “Yes, but you were at Steak 44 with him last week. A mutual acquaintance saw you, spoke briefly with Stellan, he introduced you. His wife told my wife who told me.”
Of course.
Sixx got them back on track. “The trial with this guy starts Wednesday?”
Joel nodded again. “And we have nothing, but there can’t be nothing to find. You did the computer work, it’s not there. That tells me if there’s something to be had, it’s going to take fieldwork.”
“I’m on it,” she told him. “If there’s something to get, you’ll have it by Monday.”
At that, Joel shook his head. “Sixx, we’ve contracted with outside investigators before. We can pull one in on this. You knew this wasn’t a nine-to-five job when you took it, but you’ve gone above and beyond since you started with us. If you need some time—”
“I don’t need time.” She drew in a breath and did something she’d never done in her life with any “employer” (not that she had many legitimate ones before Joel): She invoked her personal life into her professional one. “I’ll speak with Stellan. He’ll understand.”
She said it, but she wasn’t sure that was true.
Stellan would give her anything, and she wouldn’t renege on the dinner the next evening with his Susan. But she was going to have to put in the work—nights and weekends—and she had a feeling with the full-court press he was doing to get her to believe, he wasn’t going to like it.
Especially weekends.
Joel gave her a close look. “You’re sure?”
“Stellan gets it, and he gets me. He’ll get this,” she replied.
Joel smiled. “Great. But if you need an assist, give me a heads-up. We’ll get it for you.”
That was not going to hap
pen. She partnered up only rarely, and when she did there were only three people she’d do that with—Carlo, Sylvie or Tucker. Joel might be cool with contracting with Sylvie or Tucker. Carlo would scare the holy hell out of him.
“Best get on this,” she muttered, rising from her chair.
“Tell Stellan I said hello and we should get together for a drink or a meal. I’ll talk to Tammy. We’ll set something up.”
Dinner or drinks with her boss, his wife, and Sixx’s man.
How very normal.
Yikes.
Sixx nodded, lifted a hand in a wave and walked out of the office, not wondering how she’d let work slide considering she always went balls to the wall, day or night, for whatever job she was on. She didn’t have the “or night” part of that being with Stellan.
What she wondered was how she let an assignment slide so badly her boss had to chat with her about it. He was being cool, and that had to do with the fact that she was good at what she did and he knew it. However, it also could have to do with the fact she was with Stellan and they were buds.
But she’d been so focused on Stellan, nights with him, dinner with him, going to bed with him, having their weekend together, she’d blown off work. That wasn’t like her, and she needed this job.
At least until she took off.
But if she decided to go totally legit, she’d need the reference.
This is good, she told herself as she walked through the offices, making eye contact, dipping her chin or lifting it to secretaries and paralegals (or whoever they were) that she passed. Staff whose names she didn’t know and didn’t make any effort to know or remember if she learned them, unless she was working a job for the attorney they worked for.
And she thought this was good because she could fight Stellan’s all-out offensive with this, an excuse he couldn’t really counter for her to have time away from him … them.
And if he did counter it, she had ammunition to fight another way because for real, normal people in the real, normal world, it was absolutely not cool for some guy to ask his woman to put her job in jeopardy to spend time with him.
In fact, she decided as she tagged the button for the elevator, Stellan’s office was on the next block, so she’d go there now, killing two birds with one stone since she’d have to be on the job that night and thus away from him, they should have this out sooner rather than later.
But also, Susan worked for him. She’d be there. And Sixx could meet her before tomorrow night, take the edge off, show the woman what she’d be dealing with, and then tomorrow night, she’d just have to deal with the husband … and the kid.
Perfect (ish, she still had to deal with the husband … and the kid).
She rode the elevator down, left the building, and was sure to take her sunglasses out of her metallic silver envelope clutch and slide them on even though she only had to walk half a block and cross a street to get to the terrazzo-covered forecourt of the skyscraper that Stellan not only owned but also conducted his business. That business taking up two floors. The Phoenix sun was blinding on its own, but bouncing off buildings and pavements, it was killer.
When she arrived in Stellan’s building and again took off her sunglasses and tucked them away, she noted there was a security guy you had to pass unless you had a card to get through the secure, automated half-gates that led to the elevator bay.
Sixx tucked her clutch under her arm, walked right up to him, told him her name and who she wanted to see.
He’d done a top-to-toe as she walked up and did two top-to-tits over the high partition of his desk as he asked, “You got an appointment?”
“He’ll see me,” she replied.
The guard gave her a look that said he didn’t doubt it and picked up the phone.
Not two minutes later, he was reaching for a drawer, nodding, muttering, “Uh-huh, uh-huh. Right.” He hung up, slid the card he got from his drawer across the high shelf at the top of his desk toward her and said, “Use that. It’s a temporary pass. They say they’ll set you up with a permanent one up at Mr. Lange’s office.”
She wanted to snatch up the card and hold it to her chest like the boy she’d had a crush on in high school out of the blue gave her a rose after class.
Sixx did not do this.
She just took the card, lifted it up, murmured, “Thanks,” and walked to the security stanchions, slipping in the card and moving through the gates when they opened.
She thanked God for long-wearing lipstick when she hit Stellan’s floor and saw the wide, sweeping reception desk made of a gleaming wave of undulating wood that was adorned with two enormous bouquets of fresh flowers in the wide, sweeping, elegant reception area. A desk that was not being manned only by a receptionist. Instead, it was populated by a receptionist, four loitering women, and an equally loitering guy.
News had gotten out the boss’s woman was on her way up.
All eyes came to her as she walked across the marble flooring toward the desk in simple, but kickass, high-heeled, black patent Louboutin So Kate pumps. She was wearing a silvery-gray-leather pencil skirt that fit her like a glove and hit her at her knees. She was also wearing a skintight, silk knit, sleeveless, mock turtleneck tee.
Her only adornment was her square-faced Michele watch and a pair of small diamond studs in her ears.
Really, the skirt and shoes were all she needed.
And the bugged-out eyes fastened to her proved that to be true.
“I’m here to see Stellan,” she shared with the receptionist when she arrived at her desk. “Sorry,” she went on, belatedly realizing who she was speaking to. “Mr. Lange.”
“I, uh … yeah, uh … right, um … obviously,” she stammered, clearly unable to cope with Stellan Lange’s girlfriend showing up in her sphere. “Uh, let me—”
Sixx heard from the side, “Allow me to put Maureen out of her misery and take you back.”
She looked that way to see a very pretty, petite, blonde, well-dressed woman who had a knowing smile on her face and a measuring look in her eye.
The glorious Susan.
God, she even looked like the perfect baby sister you lived to adore.
Sixx inwardly drew her shit tight, gave a small smile to the receptionist and her other onlookers and moved toward the blonde.
“You’re Susan, yes?” she asked, lifting her hand when she got close.
“I am. And you’re Simone.”
That threw Sixx for a second, so much she let it show.
“Sixx,” Susan said quickly. “Sixx. Sorry.”
“No apology needed, Simone is fine,” Sixx told her as Susan took her hand, gave it a firm squeeze, and they both let go. “I was in the neighborhood, and I had something I needed to share with Stellan, so I figured I’d just pop by. Am I being a nuisance?”
“No. Absolutely not,” Susan assured. “Though he’s on a call and told me he didn’t want to be disturbed.” Susan was speaking as she indicated a hall to Sixx with a swing of her arm, and they both began to walk down it. “I haven’t shared you were here yet as he should be wrapping it up soon. And I suspect he’ll do that even if he wasn’t wrapping it up when we poke our heads through to show him you’re here.”
“I don’t want to bother him, or you. What I have to share shouldn’t take long.” That was a partial lie. It might, she had no idea how Stellan would react or how long that would take. “I can call him and leave a message on his cell. I was just a block away, though, so I thought—”
Susan cut her off. “No worries. All good. In fact, you here will make his day.”
Sixx examined the well-appointed hall off of which were large rooms filled with well-appointed cubbies. Sprinkled around were fabulous art and more fresh flower arrangements.
She was taking this all in despite the fact she was not quite able not to think about making Stellan’s day, but for her sanity, she wanted to.
“I’m glad we have a chance to meet anyway,” Susan went on, and Sixx looked to her. “Take the
pressure off tomorrow night.”
Sixx had never met anyone that mattered to a beau. She’d never even had a beau. And most the people she dealt with, nothing mattered to them but power and money.
It hadn’t occurred to her Susan might be on edge too.
“Right. So I’ll give you the honesty and share that was also behind me walking a block in one-hundred-and-seven-degree heat in a leather skirt to have a word with Stellan,” Sixx admitted as Susan led them into a well-appointed office that was large, had comfortable seating around, and a huge desk filled with what appeared to be lots of work scattered on top as well as one of the bigger fresh flower arrangements at the corner of it.
“That skirt is something else, to be sure,” Susan replied, stopped in front of her desk, and looked up at Sixx. “How do you wear leather in the summer in Phoenix?”
“Like every other Phoenician, I limit my time outside in the summer to racing from the air-conditioning of a building to the air-conditioning in my car and vice versa. So it really doesn’t matter what I wear since most of the time I’m enjoying a soothing seventy-something degrees. And if I spend any time outside, it’s in a bathing suit by a pool, no leather to be found.”
Susan gave her a big smile. “Too true.”
Sixx hesitantly returned the smile.
“So, I’m just going to say, since we’re being honest,” Susan began. “I figured you’d be daunting, the woman who caught Stellan’s eye. But, you know, meeting you, you’re not daunting. You’re terrifying.”
Oh no.
“I’m not, really, it’s the leather. It’s a power material,” Sixx tried to joke.
“It is that, but it’s also the fact you walked a block … or anywhere … in those shoes. I’d break an ankle or fall flat on my face.”
“You can best anything with practice. That’s how I did it.”
“I sucked at ballet, so I’m thinking you’re wrong.”
Sixx gave her a less hesitant smile and lowered her voice to share, “I’m just a person, Susan. I’m no different from you or anyone else.”
“You look like the famous ex-wife of a rock god who dumped his butt the minute she found out he cheated on her, proving he’s the most idiotic man on the planet and unworthy of her time. Then she went on to get more famous just for being awesome but also building a designer handbag dynasty. At the same time she tamed an until-then-untamable, unspeakably handsome and glamorous playboy, earning his utter devotion and a one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand-dollar, custom-designed wedding gown to top the five-carat diamond engagement ring he slid on her finger aboard his yacht.”