“Well, you folks sort it out. Unrequited love is too complicated for us,” said the first officer, as the men got into their patrol car. “Good night.”
Mr. Hatford looked at his sons. “Home!” he ordered, and the four boys retreated down the hill. He got into his Jeep, backed out of the driveway, and headed across the road bridge.
Coach Malloy glared at his daughters. “House!” he said, pointing. The three girls went inside, followed by their parents.
Caroline was frightened. Her father, his face purple red, looked as though he might explode.
“George, let me handle this,” said Mrs. Malloy.
“You'd better, because if the police show up here one more time, I'm going to give those girls away!” he bellowed, and went marching up the stairs, each step sounding like thunder.
Mrs. Malloy herded the girls into the dining room. “Sit!” she ordered.
Caroline fell weakly into a chair at the head of the table. Mrs. Malloy sat at the other end, and Beth and Eddie sat together on one side.
“Tell me everything !” the girls’ mother commanded. “Don't leave out a single thing.”
Timidly Caroline began. All the things she had done to get Wally to fall in love with her, how he'd rejected her valentine, her phone call to the Hatfords, the death scene with the raspberry syrup…Every now and then Beth or Eddie would chime in with a detail she had overlooked. Then Mrs. Malloy asked questions of her two older daughters—exactly how the Hatford boys had been involved in the science project, whether Beth considered Josh her boyfriend…
When all had been told, Mrs. Malloy simply sat with her hands folded under her chin and surveyed her daughters. Mrs. Malloy quiet was even more alarming than Mrs. Malloy angry.
“I thought,” said Mrs. Malloy finally, looking first at Caroline, “that you wanted to be an actress. A very good actress.”
Caroline stared. “I do! That's what this was all about!”
“No,” said her mother. “That is not what it was all about. What it was about was making Wally Hatford as uncomfortable as possible. What it was about was embarrassing those boys. The first thing a really good actress must have is the ability to empathize with other people. Do you know what that means, Caroline?”
“I…I'm not sure,” Caroline murmured.
“It means thinking what they're thinking, feeling what they're feeling, and then showing that you care.”
Caroline sniffled.
“If you embarrassed Wally in front of your class and again after he called the police, and felt nothing for what he must be feeling,” Mrs. Malloy went on, “then I would say you have no empathy at all, Caroline, and you'd better choose another career.”
Caroline's eyes immediately filled with tears. “I… I… did understand what he was feeling, but—”
“But you didn't care? That's even worse, Caroline.”
Caroline was sobbing now. “I do want to be an actress. More than anything in the world. Oh, I do, Mother, I do!” Beth and Eddie were staring at her uncomfortably, but Caroline was desperate to make her mother understand.
“So are those real tears or make-believe? I can't even tell anymore,” Mrs. Malloy said with disgust in her voice. “I am very disappointed in you, Caroline.”
“I'll…I'll make it up to Wally!” Caroline pleaded. “I'll write him a note—”
“No!” said Beth and Eddie together.
“No more notes,” said Beth. “I've seen enough notes to last a lifetime.”
“I'll…I'll call him up,” said Caroline.
“No more phone calls,” said her mother. “Tomorrow you will walk right up to Wally Hatford and tell him you are sorry. Do you understand me, Caroline?”
Caroline nodded, still weeping.
Mrs. Malloy turned to Eddie next. “You will apologize to the Hatfords for tricking Josh and Jake into a science project they didn't completely understand.” Then she looked at Beth. “I don't know what you'll apologize for, but I'll think of something. Do you two girls understand me?”
“Yes,” said Eddie and Beth together in small voices.
“Go to bed,” said their mother.
The girls went upstairs. The lights in the Malloy house began to go out, one by one. Finally all the windows were dark and there was nothing left but two shining eyes, like hot burning coals, watching from the trees in back of the house.
Eighteen
Secret Meetings
Jake, Josh, Wally, and Peter beat their father home on foot, but they didn't get upstairs before his Jeep pulled into the driveway and he stormed into the house.
“What did we tell you?” he yelled, lining them up like soldiers before a firing squad. “What did we say about going across the bridge and hanging around the Malloys?”
“We had to, Dad! We thought she was dying! She called and said goodbye—that we'd never see her again,” Wally explained. He usually let his brothers answer for him if he could, but he figured he was dead no matter what, so why not come right out with it?
“How could she be dying if she called you on the phone?” Mr. Hatford asked.
“We thought she was going to shoot herself or something,” said Jake.
“So you just had to go over there and get involved in the prank, didn't you? Haven't you guys learned anything at all?”
“I guess so,” said Josh. “We learned that when somebody says they're going to kill themselves, never take it seriously.”
Mr. Hatford blinked.
“Yeah,” added Jake. “We learned that no matter how much somebody needs you, never get involved because it might get you in trouble.”
“Now, wait a minute. You could have called 911 without ever going over there,” said their father.
“Is that what you want us to do?” asked Wally. “Whenever the Whomper, the Weirdo, or the Crazie calls, and says she's dying or something, we should just pick up the phone and dial the police without even going over to check? Would that be any better?”
Mr. Hatford closed his eyes. “Oh, how I wish the Bensons were back. I know that a pack of boys can get into mischief too, but I never knew that boys and girls together could cause such a ruckus.”
The boys exchanged glances, sensing they were winning.
“Look at it this way, Dad. We may make mistakes, but at least we're trying to be good citizens,” Josh told him.
“All right, but I repeat,” said their father wearily, “don't cross the river unless it's absolutely necessary. And for heaven's sake, don't let your mother find out what happened tonight.”
The clock struck nine, and Peter had just started up the stairs when Mrs. Hatford's car pulled into the driveway. Twenty seconds later she was coming through the kitchen like a tornado, saying, “What in the world happened tonight? I got calls at the hardware store, Wally, saying that you dialed 911, but when I called home there was no answer. What's going on?” She tossed her keys on the coffee table and looked around the living room.
“Don't ask,” said her husband.
“Just tell me this: Are the Malloys involved again?” Mrs. Hatford stared right at Wally.
This always happens, he thought. With four sons to choose from, why did she always end up directing her questions to him?
But Peter answered for him from the stairs. He leaned over the banister and called, “Caroline said she was dying and we went over to watch.”
“ What?” cried Mrs. Hatford. “To watch?”
“It was a false alarm,” said Wally. “Nobody died. Caroline just got a little raspberry syrup in her hair, that's all.”
“What? ” his mother said again. “You called 911 for that?”
“Ellen,” said her husband, “trust me. The more you ask, the more confused you will get. Let's just hope that the Malloys go back to Ohio come summer, the Ben-sons return, and we have only to deal with the insanity of nine boys.”
“That's fine with me,” she told him. “It's been a difficult day at the hardware store, and I don't need anything else to worry about. Peter, go
take your bath.”
The boys scattered, and Wally breathed a sigh of relief that for now, anyway, the worst was over. Later, as he picked up the comics from the coffee table, he saw that a letter had come from Georgia. He took it up to his room to read.
Dear Wally (and Jake and Josh and Peter),
All the excitement must be going on in West Virginia right now, because there isn't a lot going on down here, and we're really missing you guys.
Dad's talking about maybe taking a job in Macon, but he hasn't decided yet, and I think if I don't see snow again, I'll go nuts. All we get is ice. Georgia's okay, but it's all what you're used to, I guess, and I sure miss the hills. We all do, even Mom. We had some great times, didn't we?
What are the Malloy girls up to these days? Man, they must really keep you guessing. We could do with a little adventure down here right now. Any chance the Whomper, the Weirdo, and the Crazie might come here?
Bill (and Danny and Steve and Tony and Doug)
When the Hatford boys set off for school the next day, the three Malloy girls were waiting at the end of the bridge.
“Well, you survived,” Jake remarked.
“Yeah, but boy, was Mom mad!” said Eddie. “And Dad was practically ballistic. So we have to apologize.”
“Yeah? For what?” asked Jake.
“Well, for not leveling with you about the science project, for one thing. And for what we put you through yesterday. Caroline was being a jerk, and we should have throttled her instead of laughing about it.”
Beth looked at Josh. “And I'm sorry about all that stuff I said yesterday.”
“Was it true, though? You were really just spying?” he asked.
“No. I wasn't spying at all, but I don't think I want to be your girlfriend anymore. It's too confusing.”
“Aha!” said Jake. “So she was !”
“We'll just be friends, right?” said Josh, and Beth nodded.
“And now that I know what it is like to have loved and lost, Wally, so that if I ever have to play it on Broadway, I can do it from the heart, you don't have to be my boyfriend anymore either,” Caroline said.
“I never was your boyfriend!” Wally yelped.
“Caroline!” warned her sisters.
Caroline took a deep breath. “And I am honestly, truly, profoundly, deeply, intensely sorry for giving you a mushy valentine and embarrassing you in front of the class and pretending I was dead,” she said. She got down on one knee. “And I humbly, sincerely, honestly ask your forgiveness, now and forever.”
“Caroline!” her sisters said again.
Caroline got up and brushed off the knees of her pants. “But we still aren't supposed to cross the bridge except when we're going to school,” she told them.
“And we can't come over to Island Avenue unless it's a real emergency, and you know what will happen if we turn in a false alarm again,” Josh said.
“We'll have to clean toilets!” said Peter grimly.
“So what are we going to do for fun around here?” Beth wondered as they all set off for school.
“We'll just have to meet at other places,” said Josh. “How about Oldakers’ Bookstore?”
“Deal!” said Eddie. “Mom didn't say we couldn't go downtown anymore. Let's meet there after dinner tonight.”
It was a whole new way of doing things, Wally thought. Nobody was calling anyone names. No one was dumping dead birds and squirrels on the other side of the river, and no one was trying to steal his underpants. Were they actually friends now—friends the way the Hatfords used to be with the Bensons?
That evening after dinner, all four boys got permission to walk downtown as long as they had their homework done and were in bed by nine-thirty.
The Malloy girls were already at the bookstore when they arrived, looking through paperbacks that had just been stocked in the mystery section. Beth's nose was deep in a book on vampires.
They were all sitting around on the floor, talking about what they could do together in Buckman when the weather got warmer, when two women burst into the bookstore with news that the abaguchie had been sighted loping along the alley behind the store. The police were asking everyone to stay inside.
Ninteen
Abaguchie
Next to lying on the ground with her head in a pool of raspberry syrup, this was one of the most exciting things that had ever happened to her, Caroline decided. She and her sisters were trapped with the Hat-ford boys inside Oldakers’ Bookstore while the police and sheriff were prowling the streets and alleys looking for the creature that had been in the news for the past few months, eluding everyone.
“Stay right where you are till your father comes to get you,” Mrs. Malloy said when Caroline called home to say where they were.
“Don't even think about stepping out of that store till your dad says it's safe,” Mrs. Hatford said when Wally phoned her.
So the Hatford boys and the Malloy girls crowded around the door of the bookstore, watching all the activity outside and wondering what kind of animal the abaguchie really was.
“What do you suppose it eats for dinner?” Peter asked, his eyes wide, as a policeman walked by the front window.
“Second-grade boys, what else?” joked Eddie. “Starts with the ears and saves the toes for dessert.”
“Naw,” said Jake. “I think it goes for girls. Precocious girls, because it enjoys listening to them squeal when it nibbles their fingers.”
“Hey, Caroline!” said Josh. “You can never be a really good actress unless you've experienced genuine terror. How about going outside and checking the alley? See if it's safe to leave?”
“Nobody leaves this store until your folks come for you,” called Mike Oldaker, the owner, which made it more exciting still.
As it turned out, the abaguchie outsmarted them all again. Despite the number of officers who were out looking for the animal, it was nowhere to be found. Coach Malloy came for his daughters, Tom Hatford came for his sons, and Oldakers’ Bookstore closed early.
A few days later, the newspaper carried another story:
ABAGUCHIE FOUND TO BE COUGAR, the headline read. And it told how the high-school biology teacher had heard his dog bark and had gone out in the yard to find his pet in the jaws of a cougar, which, startled by a yell from the teacher, dropped its prey and disappeared into the woods. The dog, fortunately, lived to wag his tail again.
The animal was definitely a cougar, the teacher said, and residents were warned to go outside only in groups, especially children walking to and from school.
“George!” Mrs. Malloy cried at breakfast. “This is serious! I'm not even sure Caroline is safe when she's with her sisters. A cougar is a mountain lion, you know. It always goes after the smallest and weakest member of the crowd.”
Eddie, who wasn't much afraid of anything, went on eating her toast. “Just make sure we're always walking with the Hatfords, then,” she said dryly. “If the cougar spots us, it'll take Peter.”
“Edith Ann!” her mother said.
But Coach Malloy put down his fork. “You know, Jean, that's not a bad idea.”
“What? Using little Peter for bait?” Mrs. Malloy cried.
“No, sticking with a larger crowd. The more kids there are walking together, the less chance any of them will be attacked.” He looked around the table. “Why don't you girls make it a point to walk with the Hat-fords to school and back each day? In fact, it's fine with me if they walk you all the way home.”
Beth and Eddie and Caroline exchanged glances. Was this turning out well, or what?
So when the girls reached the end of the swinging bridge later, the boys were waiting.
“Mom said we have to wait for you every morning,” Josh said, smiling. “She wants us all to stay together and keep an eye on Peter—not let him lag behind or anything.”
“Same with us,” said Beth. “We have to keep an eye on Caroline.”
“So we have to stick together whether we want to or not!” said W
ally.
“Yeah, as long as you stay in Buckman, you have to stick to us like glue.” Jake grinned. “You have to follow us wherever we go: down the old coal mine, along Smuggler's Cove, through the woods, up the mountain…”
“You think we're chicken?” asked Eddie. “You think we're scared? Just wait! You haven't seen anything yet!”
The Boys Start the War
Just when the Hatford brothers are expecting three boys to move into the house across the river where their best friends used to live, the Malloy girls arrive instead. Wally and his brothers decide to make Caroline and her sisters so miserable that they'll want to go back to Ohio, but they haven't counted on the ingenuity of the girls. From dead fish to dead bodies, floating cakes to floating heads, the pranks continue—first by the boys, then by the girls— until someone is taken prisoner!
The Girls Get Even
Still smarting from the boys’ latest trick, the girls are determined to get even. Caroline is thrilled to play the part of Goblin Queen in the school play, especially since Wally Hatford has to be her footman. The boys, however, have a creepy plan for Halloween night. They're certain the girls will walk right into their trap. Little do the boys know what the Malloy sisters have in store.
Boys Against Girls
Abaguchie mania! Caroline Malloy shivers happily when her on-again, off-again enemy Wally Hatford tells her that the remains of a strange animal known as the abaguchie have been spotted in their area. Wally swears Caroline to secrecy and warns her not to search by herself. But Caroline will do anything to find the secret of the bones and finds out the hard way that she should have listened.
The Girls’ Revenge
Christmas is coming, but Caroline Malloy and Wally Hatford aren't singing carols around the tree. Instead, these sworn enemies must interview each other for the dreaded December class project. Caroline, as usual, has a trick up her sleeve that's sure to shock Wally. In the meantime, Wally and his brothers find a way to spy on the Malloy girls at home. The girls vow to get revenge on those sneaky Hatfords with a trap the boys won't soon forget.