While the Queen had the necessary preparations made, she had instructed Nihlen to go rest in one of the castle’s rooms. So he followed one of the servants through the long halls, not really even paying attention. The information he had just heard was swimming in his head. So many things he didn’t know, so many things his parents hadn’t told him. Even when he arrived at the room that had been prepared for him, he simply sunk into the chair and closed his eyes.
The Eye of Kings… That is the name of what has shaped me into a monster in front of all others. And I will have to bear this curse forever. Nihlen thought, raising his hand up to cover his eye underneath the hat. Yet even after hearing it could lead to my death, I do not hate this eye. It allowed me to protect myself and others. It is simply the price I must pay for that power. I now carry the mark of devastation, bearing the pain and fear of those who I rule.
Nihlen’s eyes popped open, and he took a deep breath. Every minute that passed, he began to calm. This eye was not only a bad thing. The Queen had confirmed that. It was also a source of power he could draw from. I have a feeling I’ll need all the power I can get before this is over.
“I will have the power you possess, Eye of Kings.” Nihlen suddenly said aloud. “It will not be on your terms, either. I will learn to use this power, and I will not just cut down those in front of me and feel nothing.”
Nihlen wasn’t sure why he had felt the need to say that out loud. Perhaps it was just to confirm for himself that he would not lose sight of himself because of this. I will not be swallowed!
Breathing deeply, Nihlen began to quiet the storm of his mind. His father had always taught him that things of great importance must be approached with a calm mind. If the mind is in chaos, so too will be anything it touches. I will make it through this, and save them all. I still have so much to learn from him…
A tear leaked from his closed eyes, and he quickly wiped it away.
He wished Marina had not left. Since they had fled, they had been together nearly the entire time. Without her there with him, for the first time, he felt truly alone. The weight of everything came bearing down on him, to the point it felt it might crush him. He looked out a nearby window, and rose from the chair to look out. He rested his palm against the cool glass, wondering where she was now within that massive throng of buildings and people.
Tired of standing, he moved to the bed, and embraced the quiet of the room. In that sense of quiet he waited, keeping himself detached, and his mind floating free. There was nothing but the silence around him, cradling him gently as he basked in the comfortable calmness he had attained with his free floating, now quieted mind.
After some span of time, he was not sure how long in his mind’s transient state, the door to the room opened, and a young woman poked her head through the door. “The Queen says she is ready. If you’ll please follow me.”
Nihlen rose from the bed, feeling the calm he had worked to establish already beginning to crack. He followed behind the young servant as she led him through the halls of the palace. All the hallways looked the same, as Nihlen looked around at his surroundings. There was nothing that identified where they were. At this point in time, Nihlen had no idea what part of the palace he was in, or how to even get out.
The young maid led Nihlen to a familiar room, however. At the end of the hall they stood in were the two large oak doors which led into the Queen’s chamber. “Her Majesty is waiting for you.” The woman said, bowing quickly before returning in the direction from which they had just come.
Steeling himself as well as he could, Nihlen headed for the doors, and pulled one open. The room seemed exactly the same as his first visit. Even the Queen was seated in the throne, just as before. The only difference was that the Queen held a great gold goblet in her hands, the scepter nowhere to be seen. She was gently churning the contents as she watched him from the throne.
“Are you ready?” Queen Raylia asked.
“I am.” Nihlen said.
The Queen held the goblet out to him. “On the day of your wedding, you drank something that had been left for you. What I have here is similar to that. However, you will find that it smells or tastes nowhere near as pleasant. The mixture you drank on that day contained both what I hold, and another mixture meant to allow you to see down the Path you will travel. The two, as it happens, mix well to create a sweet mixture. This by itself though will be quite different.”
Nihlen reached out, and took the goblet from the Queen’s hand. “The taste is the least of my concern right now.” Nihlen said, as he began drinking.
He mindlessly began gulping the substance down, trying his best to just not taste it at all. The second the liquid touched his mouth though, it felt as if it was on fire. Every swallow felt like he was drinking magma. As the last of the contents of the cup entered his mouth, he dropped the cup, stumbling around.
The terrible throbbing he had felt on a few previous occasions was now making a sudden appearance. It was far more vicious however. More excruciating than it had ever been thus far.
He screamed, his voice echoing countless times inside the massive room. His hand flew up to his eye, as he ripped the hat from his head, burying his face in his hands.
The eye was bleeding once again, and worse than ever. Nihlen held his hand over his face, in a futile attempt to stem the blood. His head began spinning from the pain, and he stumbled forward suddenly. Trying to catch himself, he took a few more steps, before he fell forward, slamming into the cold stone floor.
The pain continued to grow as he laid there, the cold of the stone floor a small joy amongst the inferno rising within him. The pain was becoming so immense, he was losing consciousness.
His breathing was beginning to slow, and drawing breath was difficult. He clutched at his chest, on fire even more for lack of oxygen. Sweet darkness… Take me now! Take me from the pain! Nihlen thought desperately, as his vision began to fade.
Salvation lies not in the darkness… A whisper echoed in his mind.
Slowly, Nihlen began to open his eyes. He was staring up into blackness. There was no light to be seen anywhere. The darkness was complete, and total. Have I died? Nihlen wondered. His mind was thick, and the thought seemed to move sluggishly.
Unconsciously, he reached up and placed his hand over his left eye. The pain was gone, and he could feel no signs of blood on his face. From his face, his hand moved to his chest. It was still on fire. I can’t breathe… It burns so much! What is happening to me!?
Into the total darkness he stared, left only with the burning pain in his chest. As hard as he tried, he could not breathe. He could find no relief from the burning in his chest.
It burns… A whisper echoed from the darkness. It burns… It burns… It burns… It burns… IT BURNS!
The last whisper seemed to explode in his head, slamming him to the ground, and Nihlen writhed in pain. He struggled in vain against the agony, wishing he could breathe so he could just so he could scream. As he struggled, the pain continued to grow. It grew to levels that seemed impossible. I should be dead… He thought desperately. I should be dead by now…
I should be dead instead of them. Another whisper echoed around him.
Nihlen’s head throbbed as soon as he heard the whisper. It throbbed, adding a drop more of pain into a raging sea. An instant, terrible, throbbing drop.
Can you see it? Can you see the pain of the dead? Can you feel it? The burning in your chest is the pain of all those who you are responsible for. The echoing whisper seemed to come from everywhere, and nowhere.
Nihlen stopped struggling against the pain. This is the pain of those who I am responsible for… It will not disappear, even in death.
Can you handle it? Can you pick up their burden, and shoulder their pain? You must swim through the sea of their pain, and see what is responsible for it. You must dive deep, with no breath. You must shoulder your own pain, and theirs, along the way in repayment.
Suddenly the darkness began to clear. A single dot of light
, above his left side. The light slowly began to expand, until it had consumed the left side of his field of vision. Within an instant, images began flooding in front of Nihlen. Sights, smells, tastes, feelings, they all washed over him, an enormous amount in rapid succession. For the brief second each one filled Nihlen, he completely understood it. Scenes of total triumph, and scenes of utter devastation. When one person rose in victory, there was someone else who wallowed in utter defeat. The screams of people dying, and wars raging all at once were coupled with scenes of families smiling and laughing without a care in the world. Those same happy families also meeting annihilation, as the world continued to turn.
Those who lead bring both blessings and curses. Every decision made can lead to the complete ruin of countless lives. Bearing the Eye of Kings can lead to the greatest destruction of all. You must be willing, and able, to shoulder all the pain you may cause the world through your decisions. As your chest burns now, it will burn forever. Every person who you have been tasked to care for, you must carry their pain with you. To accept the hateful stares and words of those hurt by your actions You must accept that people will be hurt. You must accept that people will die. If you can carry that pain, and protect those you need to protect…
Only then can you breathe in the sea of their pain.
With a final bout of pain, Nihlen suddenly sat up, taking the deepest breath he had ever taken in his life. He held it in his chest as he sat, no longer enshrouded in darkness.
What was that? He wondered, breathing heavily. He reached up to his eye, and felt it. No sign of blood.
“Since you woke up, I think we can take it to mean you have fully integrated with the Eye of Kings.” The Queen said, bending down beside him. “You didn’t breathe for so long, I truly feared you were dead.”
Nihlen grabbed his chest again, remember the burning sensation he had been experiencing only moments before.
“I really need a drink…” Nihlen said, his voice very hoarse.
“I will have something taken up to your room at once. I think it is time for you to rest for now. I'll send word to your friends that things here are finished.” The Queen said, straightening up.
She walked quickly across the throne room, and pulled the massive oak door open by herself. In his daze, Nihlen was rather surprised to see the Queen open that door herself. In his current state though, all he could do was lie against the cold stone floor, grateful he had survived that ordeal.
His chest still burned, but it no longer seemed as severe. It will always burn, for those who are being hurt in Draven. I must accept their pain, and do what I can to fix it. Nihlen thought.
And with that final realization, consciousness faded away from him once more.
Chapter 10
Looking in All the Wrong Places