Yipper nodded. “Oh yes. But you don’t have to worry about being sanctioned for that up here. Feeling is safe aboard the medical barges. At first, of course, they harbored only the incubation tubes to grow new organic inhabitants for the planet but now there are far too many visitors to expect them to all get emo-dampers.”
“Of course,” Garron murmured. “So you probably don’t implant them much.”
“Except in the tube grown, no,” Yipper said. “Though it was the first enhancement ever offered, back in the beginning. Then, because the organics wished to be able to keep up with the Collective physically, we began offering other enhancements.”
“They certainly seem to have kept up.” Tess shivered and Garron wondered if she was thinking of the two Dark Kindred they had seen in the lounge the night before. “But why do you offer free medical care and enhancements to everyone?” she continued. “And is it really free?”
“It is free in that we only take what our clients would have left behind anyway, yes we do, yes we do,” Yipper explained earnestly. “We get paid in genetic material.”
“Meaning?” Garron raised an eyebrow at him.
“Growing new organics in the tubes requires fresh DNA on a regular basis, lest we fall into a rut by growing mindless idiots, as the Scourge did before their end,” the Tolleg said. “As we work, any blood or tissue left behind is banked—stored for future use.”
“So you mean cloning?” Tess looked horrified.
“No, no—not exactly. We mix the DNA some before we use it. And we never use it in the lifetime of the donor, no we don’t, no we don’t. Maybe a hundred solar years from now there will be an organic male who has some of the same characteristics as Garron, here. He may even look a bit like him. But he will not be exactly like him. Not a true clone, no indeed, no indeed.”
“Even if he was a true clone I doubt he’d look anything like me,” Garron growled. “He’d probably have robotic legs and a metal arm and a camera for an eye or some damn thing like that.”
“It is true that the organics that live on Zeaga Four tend to get many Enhancements, yes they do, yes they do,” Yipper admitted. “Of course, part of that is because the Collective doesn’t allow anyone to visit the surface without some form of enhancement—however minor.”
“Even the visiting dignitaries that are allowed to have emotions?” Tess asked.
The Tolleg nodded. “Even them, even them. The policy tends to…discourage all but the most determined of visitors.”
“I bet it does,” Tess muttered.
“But the law makes perfect sense,” Yipper said earnestly. “For now you can scarcely tell the organic inhabitants from the mechanized ones. The two have almost completely merged—a truly blended society.”
“A blended emotionless society,” Garron muttered bitterly.
“True, true.” The Tolleg nodded again. “But they have no more war on Zeaga Four. No conflict or unhappiness. Everyone knows his place in the Collective’s Rubric. It is a truly harmonious place. Well, except for the purges…”
“The what?” Tess demanded.
“Nothing, nothing,” Yipper said quickly. He looked around the white room as though someone might be listening. “We have spoken enough, yes we have, yes we have. I have, perhaps told you, more than I should. Are you ready for your implant, Kindred?”
“Not quite.” Garron frowned. “I have a few more questions.”
“No more about the Collective or Zeaga Four, no indeed, no indeed,” Yipper said quickly, looking around again.
“Nothing like that,” Garron assured him. “I just want to know exactly what I’m getting into before I let you do this.”
“Let me show you the implant. Truly, it is a work of art—yes it is, yes it is.” Yipper climbed up on a tall white stool to reach something in a long row of cabinets along the wall as he spoke. He searched in several cabinets until at last he seemed to find what he was looking for. He climbed down and turned to Garron, holding something in his hairy little fist.
Tess stared at it mistrustfully when he opened his hand, revealing a long, shiny silver metal tube as long as a finger but as thin as a hair. Attached to the tube was a silver and black button about the size of a fingernail.
“Why does it look like that?” she demanded. “What’s the tube thing for?”
“Basically it is a medication delivery system, yes it is, yes it is,” Yipper explained. “This is the reservoir and production unit…” He touched the black and silver button gently. “It will make a lifetime supply of a powerful emotion damping drug. This is the delivery unit.” He indicated the long silver hair. “It feeds directly into the brain stem to stop emotions at their source. People speak of their ‘heart hurting’ when they fall in love or similar foolish statements. But it is your brain that tells your heart to feel, yes it does, yes it does.”
“Of course it does,” Tess said dully. “But…you’re really going to implant that in Garron’s brain?”
“Only the delivery system. The reservoir will be seated at the back of his neck.”
“But…why couldn’t you just give him less of the drug? Maybe just enough to get through a few days until…”
“Until it wears off. But what happens on my next name day, a year from now? Or even the next time I have any strong emotions?” Garron asked. “What do I do then, Tess? Worry about hurting you all over again?”
“I just wanted…I’m just trying to think of a way…any way at all…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“I’m sorry,” he said raggedly. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “More sorry than I can say but I have held back my dr’gin for years—I cannot do it anymore. Not without help. And if I let it out…”
“I understand. I know.” Tess nodded. “I’m sorry, too.”
“I am afraid the unit does not work that way, anyway. No it doesn’t, no it doesn’t,” Yipper said gently. “You see, the reservoir holds enough of the drug for the first day only—that is only until the production unit can start stimulating the enhanced one’s body to begin manufacturing the drug on its own.”
“What? I don’t get it.” Tess frowned.
“It is a difficult concept,” Yipper admitted. “But you see, the genius of the emotion damper’s production unit is that it introduces the drug to the subject’s body which quickly becomes dependant on it. When the reservoir runs dry, the brain is stimulated to make more on its own, using cerebrospinal fluid and the brain’s own chemistry.”
“So basically it gets the patient hooked on the drug and then uses the brain as a chemistry set to make more,” Tess said dryly.
“Essentially, yes.” Yipper nodded. “The emotion dampening drug is constantly produced, stored in the reservoir, and then re-introduced to the brain via the delivery unit. An elegant and self-contained system, you can see, you can see. And one that can never run out of medication because it depends on the brain’s own chemistry to make more.”
“But you said they were prone to failure,” Garron said, frowning. “How would I know if it was failing?”
“Well, you would start feeling again, yes you would, yes you would. But I will make certain that doesn’t happen because it would be a bad thing. Very bad, very bad.” Yipper frowned.
“What? Why?” Tess, drew closer to Garron, holding his arm protectively as though she could shield him from harm with her curvy little body.
“Well, because,” Yipper frowned. “Any emotions you are feeling that are interrupted by the emotion damper would return the moment the unit failed—but three times as strong. It’s called a threefold reactions and honestly, most life forms are not able to withstand such intense emotion, no they aren’t, no they aren’t.”
“That sounds bad.” Garron frowned. He didn’t like the idea of going through the pain and guilt of losing Tess times three. What he was feeling right now was already bad enough—he didn’t need any more. “Can you guarantee it won’t happen to me?” he demanded.
Yipper spread his long, hairy fingers
and shrugged. “I can only tell you I am the best at this procedure. I have been doing it for approximately two hundred and forty solar years.”
“What?” Tess demanded. “You’re over two hundred years old?”
“Over three hundred, actually. Yes, I am, yes I am.” Yipper nodded. “Tollegs are a very long lived race. It’s one reason the Collective called us to staff their medical barges. The other reason is that we are the best natural surgeons in the known universe. Yes we are, yes we are.” He nodded his long, furry head proudly.
“Well…” Garron sighed. He could think of no other questions, no other way to stall the procedure. Besides, the dr’gin within him was becoming restless, demanding that he had to come out and soon. He needed to get this done.
The little Tolleg seemed to understand.
“You are ready now, yes you are, yes you are,” he said gently.
“Yes, I guess I am.” Garron squeezed Tess’s fingers one more time. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“Me too.” There were tears in her eyes again and his heart ached for the pain he was putting her through.
“I love you, lin’del,” he said roughly. “I know I shouldn’t say it now but I can’t help myself—I want you to know how I feel…”
“Before you don’t feel it anymore,” she finished for him in a choked voice. “I understand.” Standing on tiptoes, she reached up and put her arms around his neck.
Garron bent down, allowing her to pull his face towards hers. Their lips met for what he knew would be the last time so he made it count. Crushing her to him, he made a long, slow, tender exploration of her mouth, memorizing her taste, trying to burn this moment into his memory forever. Tess clung to him, returning the kiss passionately as though she was trying to do the same thing.
“I…I love you too,” she whispered and then the tears in her lovely dark brown eyes overflowed and ran down her pale, porcelain cheeks.
“Very well, I am sorry for your loss but we must get started. Yes we must, yes we must,” Yipper said softly. “I have a bilateral, lower extremity, full replacement-enhancement scheduled after this and it cannot wait. No it can’t, no it can’t.”
“Of course.” Garron released Tess reluctantly. She felt so good in his arms—so right with her lush, full curves pressed against his own larger body. Would he ever get to hold her again? And even if he did, would he care?
Suddenly the emotions of love and loss and sorrow and guilt became too much. He felt his eyes heating, his blood burning as the dr’gin within roared that it must come out now!
“Quickly,” he gasped, turning to Yipper. “I feel the beast inside me. I need the implant now.”
* * * * *
“I need the implant now—right now,” Garron said again and Tess saw that his eyes were glowing more brightly than she had ever seen them.
Very well, very well.” The Tolleg led him quickly to a white table with a hole cut at one end. “Lie here face down,” he said, motioning for Garron to put his face in the hole.
“It…it’s like a massage table,” Tess said, sniffing.
Garron didn’t respond. He simply lay on his stomach with his face in the oval opening and looked down at the perfectly white floor. Tess could tell that his whole, big body was tight with his internal struggle—every muscle bulged with tension as he fought to keep his dr’gin from emerging. Seeing him lying there, fighting with himself, brought home the truth to Tess—they were out of time. Garron needed to get the implant right away.
A low groan was torn from his throat and Tess bit her lip. She wanted to touch him—to soothe him in some way. But she was afraid she would only make matters worse.
“All right now. All right, all right.” Yipper was moving quickly. He scurried around the room, assembling the equipment he needed—which didn’t appear to be anything but a glass jar of some white powder and the implant itself. He put these things on a small rolling table and went to get the stool he had used to boost himself up to the high white cabinets earlier.
When he had everything arranged to his apparent satisfaction, the Tolleg climbed up on the stool and hovered over Garron’s bare neck. He pulled the collar of his t-shirt further down and then, to Tess’s horror, he stuck out a long, pink, pointed tongue and licked the exposed skin.
“Wait a minute—what the hell?” she exclaimed. “What are you doing? Why are you licking him?”
“Why, to anesthetize the area, of course.” The Tolleg looked at her as though she was the one who was crazy. “Have you never seen a surgery before? Have you not, have you not?”
“Not one like this!” Tess protested. “Where’s the sterile field? Where are the medical instruments?”
“Why, here, my dear.” Yipper stuck out his tongue which seemed to be extraordinarily long. The pointed pink tip split in two and a thin white blade that looked like it was made out of sharpened bone emerged.
“What the hell?” Tess whispered. Watching the deadly instrument emerge from the kindly, silly face of the little Tolleg was like something out of a horror movie. Then the blade changed—morphed somehow into a pair of long, bone tweezers. Then it became some kind of suction device—a hollow tube but inside the tube Tess thought she saw rows and rows of tiny, sharp teeth.
Ugh! She wanted to look away but somehow she couldn’t.
Mercifully, Yipper finally pulled his tongue back into his mouth.
“I told you we Tollegs were natural surgeons, yes I did, yes I did. I have every instrument I need to perform any surgery right here.” He tapped his mouth with one hairy finger. “And as for sterility, please do not be concerned. My saliva has natural anesthetics and antibiotics in it. This powder…” He nodded at the small glass jar filled with white granules. “Contains a coagulant to minimize blood loss. Garron will be quite safe, yes he will, yes he will.”
“I may be safe but neither one of you is going to be if you don’t get started right now.” Garron’s low growl was somewhat muffled but Tess could hear the urgency in it nonetheless. “In fact, I want Tess to leave the room,” he went on.
“No,” she protested. “I want to be here with you.”
“I don’t want you near. The emotions…” He took a deep breath. “Having you near makes it too hard. Just go, please?”
Tess swallowed back tears.
“Of course. If that’s the way you feel.”
“Try to understand, lin’del.” His voice softened a little and he lifted his head to turn and face her. “I just want you to be safe.”
“All right. I’ll go.”
“Thank you.” His voice was strained as he fitted his face back into the oval hole again.
Tess turned for the door but not before she saw Yipper bend over the back of Garron’s neck once more. The long pink tongue extended and the bone blade came out. It sliced neatly down the center of the big Kinded’s neck and a line of crimson blood welled out.
As a nurse seeing blood didn’t bother her but and Garron didn’t want her there. And she suddenly realized she didn’t want to stay. Didn’t want to see the procedure that would separate her completely and permanently from the man she loved.
Her eyes blurred with tears, she hit the door release button and ran out of the blindingly white, sterile room…
Chapter Thirty-one
And directly into a broad, muscular chest covered in black armor.
Tess stumbled and would have fallen if one large, mechanical hand hadn’t gripped her arm and kept her upright. She looked up, wanting to see who had her… and her heart froze in her chest.
It was Six. His face was perfectly impassive but the red search light he had for a left eye scanned over her face, as though he was looking for something.
“I…I’m sorry. Excuse me.” Tess tried to pull away from him but his grip on her arm was unbreakable. “Please…” she gasped, trying to wriggle out of his punishing grasp. “Don’t hurt me! I’m sorry I ran into you, I was just—”
“Tell me of your home world.” His voice was
deep and strangely emotionless.
“Tell you what?” Tess yanked on her arm, still trying to get away. “What do you want to know? I can’t give you directions or anything like that—we came from light years away through a fold in space to get here. It’s not like telling someone how to get to the nearest gas station.”
“You call it ‘Earth’ do you not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, we do. Is that all you want to know? Can I go now?”
He shook his head. “Tell me more.”
“Tell you what, exactly?” Now that her initial shock was over, she just wanted to get away from him so she could find someplace private. Someplace she could cry in peace. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes but she couldn’t stop them.
Six noticed them too. He gripped her face with his free hand, his fingers and thumb digging into her cheeks. Tess struggled to get away but his grip was like iron—literally—the hand that was holding her felt completely mechanical.
“Let…me…go!” she gasped.
Six only turned her face from side to side, studying her like she was a particularly interesting specimen under a microscope. The red beam that was his left eye moved rapidly over her features.
“My ocular scanner indicates elevated heart and respiration,” he said at last, his voice a deep, impersonal rumble. “The liquid dripping from your eyes—what is it?”
“Tears.” Tess sniffed. “Don’t you know what tears are? Yipper told us you weren’t always like the rest of them—that you didn’t used to be emotionless.”
He frowned and released her face, though he continued to hold her arm.
“I have…a vague memory of my past. No more. So these tears, they mean you are feeling right now?”
“Yes, I’m feeling!” Tess snapped. “The man I care about is lying on a table getting an emotional lobotomy. The next time I see him, he’s going to look at me like you do—like I’m something he scraped off the bottom of his boot! So you’re Goddamned right I’m feeling. Now why don’t you let me go so I can go feel someplace private?”
At last Six dropped her arm.