“You know I wouldn’t believe you could do something like that.” She pushes my hair away from my face. “You are an amazing woman, Lilly, and I know you are a good person. You’re good for my son, my grandson, and my family. I hate that I have missed so much time with you and my granddaughter, but now that you’re here, I will do everything in my power to make sure you stay right where you are. You and Cash both deserve to have something good, and it’s not very often that God offers you a second chance at love. I know Cash has told you some of the stuff that went on with Jules, but I'm sure that my son has kept most of that bottled up. I doubt any of us really know everything he went through. He doesn’t like people to feel sorry for him. But as God as my witness, I hope that woman burns in hell for what she did, not only to you and Ashlyn, but for the pain that she has caused—and continues to cause—my son and grandson. I know I shouldn’t wish something like that even on my worst enemy, but she deserves it,” she says, looking over at the kids. “You both have a lot to be thankful for.”
“Thank you,” I mumble over the giant lump that has invaded my throat.
“You don’t need to thank me. That’s what family does. We may all fight and argue and get on each other’s nerves, but if one of us stumbles even slightly, there is always someone there to lend them a hand.” Her eyes search my face before turning serious. “Be strong for my boys; they need a woman who will not only show them what the power of a strong woman’s love is capable of doing for the soul, but they need a woman who will fight to keep them.”
“I love them, both,” I tell her, looking down at Jax, who is helping Ashlyn with the glue bottle. “If I could adopt Jax as my own son, I would do it in a heartbeat. He is so much like Cash that it’s scary. He has a big heart for such a little guy.”
“That’s all I need to know,” Susan says, and my eyes go back to hers, seeing tears fill them. I reach out and pull her in for hug. When we pull away, we’re both a mess with mascara running down our cheeks. The kids both look at us like we’re crazy, and then Jax makes me crack up when he tells us that his Uncle Nico said that girls are weird, and that’s why he doesn’t want one.
“Nico isn’t going to know what hit him when he finally finds his girl,” Susan says, and I agree completely.
*~*~*
“I have a question, and don’t be afraid to say no,” I say later that night when we’re in bed. “I won’t be mad; I promise,” I say, and feel my stomach roll at the thought of him not wanting us.
“What is it?”
“Um…do you, um…doyouthinkthatAshlynandIcouldmoveinwithyou?” I ask quickly, trying to get it out. I won’t be able to sleep until I know my daughter and I won’t be homeless. I love Cash, and have wanted him to ask us to move in with him for a while now, but I don’t want to pressure him about it. And Cash is Cash. I figure if he wants us here, he would find a way to make that happen. I feel his body start shaking, and I know he’s laughing. I just have no idea what could be funny about this.
“Are you laughing?”
“Baby, I have wanted you to move in since I walked you and Ashlyn to your car outside of the Jumping Bean,” he says laughing. Then his eyes search my face and grow serious. “I hated knowing I would have to wait to see you again. And it’s only gotten worse over the last few months. So yes, I want you to move in. I just didn’t want to push you too fast,” he says softly, and I can hear the vulnerability in his words.
“Do you think it’s too fast?” I ask, rubbing my face against the skin of his side.
“It’s not too fast.” He squeezes me.
“The kids?”
“Will be fine. Ashlyn loves being here. Jax loves having you both here. Don’t worry about this right now.” He pulls me so I’m almost fully on top of him. “The kids are their happiest when we are all under one roof. Right now, I want you to sleep. Tomorrow, we will sit down with the kids and talk to them and just make sure that they are good with us all moving in together, okay?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah,” I sigh, laying my head down against his chest and snuggling closer.
“I’m really sorry about all of this, Lil.” My eyes fly open, and I lift my head to look at him. His eyes are full of pain, and I know that he thinks this is all his fault, but it’s not. His ex is crazy and needs serious help.
“This isn’t your fault.”
“It is.”
“It’s not,” I say, sliding one of my legs over both of his and rolling so I’m sitting on top of him. My hands go to his chest; feeling the hardness of his muscles under my palms makes me rock against him. “This isn’t your fault,” I repeat as I rock against him again. I moan when I feel him harden beneath me. His hands slide from my thighs up my waist, under the edge of his shirt. I want to forget about today. All I want is to feel him inside me, and feel the delicious sensations I experience when he takes it over.
“What are you doing?” he asks as his hands move over my skin, leaving a path of fire in their wake.
“If you have to ask, then I’m doing it wrong,” I say, grinding down onto him. One of his hands squeezes my ass, the other goes to the back of my neck, pulling my face down to his.
“You’re doing it right,” he says as his mouth takes mine in a deep kiss, my fingers digging into his chest. I pull my mouth away from his, kissing my way down his chest to the edge of his boxers. I pull them down and lick up his length with one long stroke of my tongue. I want him in my mouth, but I really want him inside me, so I roll to my back, lift my hips off the bed and my legs into the air, pulling my panties off and tossing them away. I start to roll back when my ankles are grabbed and crossed above me, then pushed down towards my head.
“What are you doing?” I breathe as I feel his mouth suck the skin at the back of my thighs.
“If you have to ask, I’m doing it wrong,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. Then he licks me.
“Oh.” I try to move, but in this position, I’m immobile. He licks me again, and this time I can feel his tongue slide lightly over my clit. Before he licks me again, I try to push up to get more contact, but he presses my legs closer to my body.
“So pink.” He blows against my wet pussy. I then feel one finger circling right outside my entrance. “How long do you think I can keep you on edge before you flip out?”
“Not long.” I shake my head frantically as I feel him lick me lightly again.
“Humm.” I feel the vibration against me before he licks again, this time with a little more pressure. He keeps teasing with one fingertip inside me.
“Cash,” I moan, trying to free my legs.
“No,” he growls, holding me down. Then his mouth opens over me. I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin if he doesn’t do something…more. I don’t know what comes over me, but his mouth and fingers giving me some yet not enough makes me crazy. Finally, I can’t take anymore, and somehow, I flip him over onto his back and impale myself on him.
“God,” I moan loudly, and Cash sits up, his hand coming up to cover my mouth.
“Jesus.” I can hear the strain in his voice. His hand leaves my mouth, and then his mouth is on mine, my hips rolling as I grind down hard. “Fuck, just like that, baby. Fuck me hard,” he groans against my mouth, his words making me take him harder. I’m breathing so heavily that I feel like I’m running a race. I feel warm heat begin to fill my lower belly, and then Cash’s hands are at my breasts, lifting both, his fingers pinching one nipple as he drags the other to his mouth. His teeth closing around my nipple and then adding suction makes me cry out, and my movements still as I feel my orgasm consuming me. Like a volcanic explosion, red-hot heat flows through my veins before settling and slowing to a lazy flow. I have had orgasms before, but with him, they feel like they are taking me over, so consuming that time stops. My head falls forward then his hands are on my ass, pulling me up before dropping me down his length. I can still feel myself convulsing around him as he grows even larger, and my nails dig into his shoulders.
&n
bsp; “Lilly.” He says my name in a deep growl that I swear I can feel in my soul. His movements stop dead, his arms wrapping tightly around me. My face buries in his shoulder. Both our breathing is erratic. “Are you okay, baby?”
“Ummhum.” I breathe against his skin, my eyelids feeling heavy. He lays down with his erection still inside me, his body wrapped around me.
“Sleep,” he whispers into the top of my head. I can hear the steady beat of his heart and feel the rise and fall of his breathing, and like a lullaby, the sound and feel of it puts me to sleep.
Chapter 8
Cash
I wake up with a start and look around. I don’t know what caused me to wake up until I hear another loud bang coming from the kitchen or living room. My stomach tightens as a surge of adrenaline rushes through me. I lean over Lilly’s sleeping body and whisper in her ear that she needs to wake up. She grumbles something, trying to burrow into my side before I shake her gently. “Lilly, someone’s in the house. I need you to get the kids and take them both into Jax’s room. In the back of his closet is a hidden door. Go in there and wait for me.”
“What?” She rolls of the bed quickly, looking around.
“Look at me, Lil,” I say quietly as another loud bang sounds through the house. I can see Lilly start to panic by the light of dawn coming though the bedroom window. Her face is pale as she comes around to my side of the room, her body shaking. I pull her closer to me. “Listen to me,” I tell her a little more firmly. “Take my phone,” I say, handing her my cell. “Go get Ashlyn, take her to Jax’s room, and do as I told you. Get both of them and yourself into the room in the back of Jax closet, shut the door, and call the police. Tell them that there is a break-in. Do not come out no matter what you hear. Do not come out until I come get you, or until the police come get you.”
“Okay,” she says, looking at the door.
“It will be okay,” I tell her, going to the closet and pulling out a baseball bat. For the first time ever, I wish I kept a gun in the house.
“Be careful,” she says, and I nod and open our bedroom door, looking both ways before sending Lilly across the hall. I watch her as she makes her way down to where Ashlyn’s room is, and once she clears the doorway I hear another loud bang. I make my way towards the living room and look around the corner into the kitchen. I hear a cry from behind me, and I know that Lilly can’t find the kids.
She can’t find them because they are both in the kitchen standing on chairs that they have pulled up to the counter, and they have a bowl between them, along with a bag of flour.
“Cash,” I hear cried from behind as Lilly plows into me. “The kids aren’t there,” she says franticly.
“I know,” I tell her calmly.
“What? I just said the kids aren’t in their rooms, and you don’t care?” she yells. I pull her around the corner and both kids are looking nervously at us; the flour that was on the counter in the bag is now covering both of them, and there is a white cloud of it filling the kitchen. “Oh, my God,” she says, leaving my side, rushing into the kitchen, pulling both of the kids in for a hug, and covering herself with flour in the process. “What are you guys doing?” she asks them, looking around and seeing that they have made a huge mess.
“We’re making you breakfast,” Jax says sheepishly, looking at me then around the kitchen.
“It’s five in the morning,” I say, putting the bat down before I cross my arms over my chest, looking around at the flour-bomb they set off.
“It’s your birthday,” Ashlyn says, looking around before looking at me.
“Yeah, and we wanted to make you breakfast in bed as a surprise,” Jax says with a shrug.
“That was very nice of you both,” Lilly says, looking over at me with her arms wrapped around the kids. I can’t even speak; all I can do is look at my kids and woman. “That was really sweet, right, baby?” she asks softly, the look on her face causing a slow burn to fill my chest. I nod because I can’t speak. “What do you guys say we get this mess cleaned up while Daddy goes and lays back down, and we can still take him breakfast in bed?” she asks the kids.
“We’re not in trouble?” Jax asks.
“No, honey, you’re not in trouble,” she says, kissing the top of his head, “but let’s get all this flour cleaned up, okay?” They both agree, and then get down off the chairs. Jax goes and gets the broom, while Ashlyn goes and gets the dustpan. Lilly comes to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I’m barely holding on to my emotions. “Go back to bed, Daddy, so the kids and I can bring you breakfast,” she says softly, smiling. I nod again, kissing her forehead before I turn and walk back to our room and straight into the bathroom, where I turn on the faucet and splash cool water on my face. My hands gripping the basin, my head down, I take a few breaths before I look at myself in the mirror.
My hair is a mess, and the stubble along my jaw is darker than normal. My eyes are crystal clear, and I can see only happiness in them. There is no sign of self-hate in my eyes anymore. I used not to even be able to look at myself in the mirror without cringing away. I hated my life; my son was the only thing who made every day worth fighting for. Now, I have a family with the first woman I ever loved. The only woman I have ever loved, besides members of my family. Lilly is someone who I will never take for granted, because I know how it feels to be without her and the light that she brings into my life. When I looked into Lilly’s eyes in the kitchen and saw the same happiness shining back at me, it almost brought me to my knees. I take a few deep breaths before turning off the water. I go back into the bedroom and sit on the bed. I can hear laughter coming from the kitchen, and I can’t help but smile when I hear the sound. I sit back against the headboard, pull out my iPad, and start searching for engagement rings. I have known since the beginning that I would ask Lilly to marry me, but having her live here over the last few weeks has only solidified that thought in my brain. I know that she has been worried about her case coming up in the school board and finding a job, but I like her home with the kids while I'm at work. I like knowing that my kids are getting the same thing I had growing up. I finally find a style of ring that I think Lilly will love, but I'm going to take the picture to the jewelry store in town and see if he can have something custom-made with a few changes to the design. I close down the web page when I hear the sound of feet coming down the hall, then the door is swung open and Ashlyn yells, “Surprise!”
“He already knows we were making him breakfast,” Jax says.
“So?” Ashlyn says back, sticking out her tongue.
“Hey, now, none of that,” Lilly says, smiling and walking to the bed carrying a tray that has pancakes with chocolate chips, eggs, and bacon, along with a small box that is wrapped in blue paper and a card.
“Happy birthday, Daddy,” Ashlyn singsongs, climbing up onto the bed.
“Thank you, baby,” I say, pulling her up onto my lap.
“Happy birthday,” Jax says, climbing up onto the bed as well, and I pull him into my other side and kiss the top of his head.
“Thanks, little dude,” I say, my voice hoarse.
“Happy birthday,” Lilly says, looking between the three of us before her eyes meet mine, and I can see that tears are filling them.
“Thank you, babe.” I mouth the words to her because I can’t seem to speak. She nods before setting down the tray.
“Can I have some of your pancakes?” Ashlyn asks, and I look down at her and laugh.
“Me too,” Jax says, making me laugh harder.
“There’s more in the kitchen. I’ll be right back,” Lilly says, leaving the room. She comes back a few minutes later with another tray, this one with three plates, two juices, and a coffee. She sets the tray on the bed before climbing up to sit facing us. We all sit on the bed eating breakfast, and once we are done, I set my gift and card on the bedside table and take the plates into the kitchen, telling them that I would be right back. When I come back to the room, I sit back down with a kid on each side of me
. I put the gift in my lap so I can read the card. On the front of it is a guy in jeans and a shirt; there is a little window, and when opened, the shirt says SuperDad. I smile before putting down the card, picking up the box, and looking at it for a few moments.
“Are you gonna open it?” Ashlyn asks, looking worried. I feel Lilly rub my leg, and I look at her and smile. I start to tear the paper away slowly.
“Dad, just open it,” Jax says, eyeing the box like he wants to take it out of my hands and do it himself. I finish opening it and pull the small box out, lifting the lid. Inside is a pendent on a ball chain. “It’s backwards,” Jax says. I use one finger and flip the pendent over, and on the other side are three stones going down the center of it. All three different colors each represent the three people surrounding me.
“Do you like it?” Ashlyn asks, sitting up on her knees.
“I love it,” I tell her, looking up from the pendent into her smiling face.
“That one is Jax. This one is me. And that one is Mommy,” Ashlyn explains, pointing out each stone.
“Are you gonna put it on?” Jax ask.
“Yes,” I whisper, taking it out of the box, holding it up, and looking at it before I slide it around my neck.
“You look pretty,” Ashlyn says.
“Boys don’t look pretty; they look handsome or cool,” Jax tells Ashlyn.
“Nuh-uh, Mommy says Daddy is the prettiest boy that she ever saw.” My eyes go to Lilly and I raise an eyebrow; she shrugs before covering her mouth, laughing at the look Jax gives her.
“Boys aren’t pretty, right, Dad?” Jax asks me, and I turn to look at him. I don’t even answer him; I just drag him to me, tucking him under my arm and kissing the top of his head.