“Will you promise me not to go anywhere alone with that guy?” This is not about me being a jealous asshole…okay, maybe it is a little bit…but there is something about him that sets my teeth on edge.
“Cash.” She shakes her head.
“Baby, it’s not that I don’t trust you.” Her eyes narrow, making her look adorable. My hands go under her jaw, titling her head back. “Something about him doesn’t sit right with me.”
“Is it because he has a penis?” she taunts. I smile and lean in to kiss her.
“No, smart ass, it’s not because he has a penis,” I say against her mouth.
“Cash,” she says softly; my eyes go from her mouth to her eyes. “He has been nothing but nice. Just, please, trust me.”
“I do trust you,” I tell her honestly. Not only do I trust her, I love her. Maybe Trevor is right in a fucked-up kind of way, and I need to tell her that I love her…put it out there.
“So just know that I will not put myself in a situation that something could happen to me,” she says, running a hand through my hair. My eyes close when her soft hand travels down my neck and up my jaw.
“Do you know that I love you?” I ask as my eyes open, looking into hers. I hear her quick inhale and she shakes her head, her eyes searching my face. “I never stopped loving you. I didn’t know how much of the old you was in this newer version,” I smirk, “but I found out that I love the new you just as much, if not more. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” I pull her against me, resting my cheek on top of her head.
“I love you too,” she says, making me smile and feel lighter than I’ve felt for the last two months—hell, the last few years.
Chapter 5
Lilly
I look down at my lap. Cash’s large hand is entwined with mine, his thumb moving slowly back and forth against my skin. The roughness and strength in his hand makes mine feel small and delicate. I can’t believe he told me he loves me. I knew it would come eventually. He shows me every day that he cares not only for Ashlyn, but for me as well. I have finally accepted that he is not going anywhere. Part of me is still hurt that he walked away from me when I needed him, but the other part understands why he did what he did. I would do anything for my daughter, just like he did for his son. “I think you should meet my parents,” I say, looking over at him. His eyes come to me for a second before going back to the road.
“Sure, we can go during your next school break.” He squeezes my hand before bringing it to his mouth and kissing my knuckles.
“I won’t have another break for a few months.” I try to think of a way to have my parents come out here, but right now, getting out of Alaska is like trying to get out of Alcatraz—nearly impossible. The only way in or out of the place I grew up is by boat or plane, and when the weather is bad like it has been, there is no way. “I was going to Skype my mom tonight so she could talk to Ashlyn. You can meet her then.”
“What’s Skype?” I look over in shock. Who in the world doesn’t know what Skype is?
“You’re joking, right?”
“No.” He shakes his head.
“Skype is only the best invention ever. You use your computer and the other person uses theirs and you call them then they are sitting there in front of you.”
“Like teleporting?” he asks and I burst out laughing.
“No, I'm explaining it badly. You see them on the computer like a live video feed. I got my mom hooked when I was home. Her sister lives in Hawaii and they hadn’t seen each other for over four years. Then my aunt was on Facebook one day telling everyone that she got Skype. My mom, who had become addicted to Facebook because of my aunt, wanted to know what Skype was so I took her and got her a camera to hook up to her computer. Now during the winter, when Mom’s stuck inside because there is normally ten-feet of snow outside, she Skypes with my aunt. They also they play all those annoying Facebook games and send everyone they know invites.” I take a deep breath when I'm done talking and he looks over at me and smiles.
“I don’t know what that is. I don’t have Facebook.”
“You don’t have Facebook?” I gasp. “How in the world do you know what’s going on with your friends if you don’t have Facebook?”
“I call them and say ‘hey, what’s going on? How are things? Anything new?’”
“Oh, yeah, I guess you could do that.” He squeezes my hand and chuckles.
“So, you want me to meet your mom over Skype? I'm not sure if I'm ready for such a serious step in our relationship.”
“Very funny.” I roll my eyes. “I’ll see if she can get my dad to sit down long enough to meet you as well.” I notice him shifting in his seat and squeezing my hand a little tighter. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, I'm sure your dad hates me.” I want to say, ‘no, of course he doesn’t hate you,” but that would be a big fat lie. I’m Daddy’s little girl, have been and will always be. When I came home with Ashlyn, my parents fell in love with her and couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want her.
“My parents know that you didn’t send those texts,” I say gently.
“I know.” He takes a deep breath. “I'm sure they don’t believe that.”
“My mom thinks your ex sent them.”
“She’s the only person who could have,” he says, and I can feel my pulse speed up. I have never hated anyone in my life, but what I feel for her is close.
“Well, I know once my dad gets to know you, he will love you,” I tell him. He is honestly my dad’s dream-son, and I hope he gives him a chance.
“I'm sure it will be fine,” he says, and my stomach flips, wondering if this is a huge mistake.
*~*~*
“Honey, you have to move that out of the way, at least until I can get the camera turned on,” I hear my mom say. I look over at Cash, who is sitting next to me at his dining table. The computer is in front of us, the screen black, but we can both hear my parents arguing back and forth. Cash smiles, and I laugh when I hear my mom yell to get the damn thing out of her face. Finally, the screen turns on, and I see my mom sit down hard in her chair and glare off camera.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hey, honey.” My mom smiles then looks over at Cash, and her eyes get big before coming back to me. “Well, at least he’s hot, even if he is a prick.”
“Mom,” I snap.
“Oh, please, now I see why you went all gaga over him.” She waves her hand back and forth, and then I see a shadow over her right shoulder before my dad sits down next to her in one of their kitchen chairs. I suck my lips into my mouth, trying not to bust out laughing. My dad is wearing his hunting gear. His short hair is slicked away from his face, and under his eyes are black smudges of paint. He also has his shotgun out and his hunting knife in a knife holster under his arm.
“Hi, Dad.” I give a slight giggle. He glares at me, looks over at Cash, and I look over at Cash as well. His face is slightly red and he looks like he is trying not to laugh. “Dad, Mom, this is Cash. Cash, these are my parents, Frank and Tina Donovan,” I say.
“Nice to meet you, sir and ma’am.” He nods at both my parents, and we can hear my mom mumble something under her breath about manners and good looks.
“Dad, why are you wearing that?”
“Well, I thought that I should let this young man here know that I was a Seal. I know how to go into places and get out unnoticed. I know how to kill someone before they even know I'm there. And I know how to—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, but what does that have to do with your hunting gear?
“He can’t fit into his uniform,” my mom chimes in. “Trust me, honey, he tried. Even tried to have me button him up, and it was still a no-go.” My mom shakes her head, and then smiles when my dad turns to look at her and glare.
“Woman, I told you to stop baking all the damn time.”
“Oh, stop. Don’t blame your weight on my baking.”
“Mom, Dad...” I sigh.
“Fine,” my dad says,
still looking at my mom. “Know that you’re going to pay for that later,” he says quietly, making my mom blush.
“Gross, can you both please act like normal parents for five minutes?” I shake my head.
“Memaw!” Ashlyn shrieks climbing onto Cash’s lap and waving into the camera.
“Hey, baby.” My mom sits forward, smiling.
“Papa, look! My daddy’s here!” Ashlyn looks at my dad then leans back, looking up at Cash. He leans forward, kissing her forehead.
“I see that, angel.” Dad’s face transforms into a smile. Ashlyn looks away from Cash, back to the computer.
“Oh wait! You hab to meet my brother!” Ashlyn squeals, climbing down from Cash’s lap. I can hear her in the other room yelling for Jax to come meet her Memaw and Papa. Cash and I look at each other and laugh. Cash slips his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I feel his lips at my temple, and then Jax and Ashlyn are running into the room. Ashlyn climbs back onto Cash’s lap, and Jax looks at me for a second, seeming unsure. I hold out my arms and he smiles before jumping up to sit on my lap.
“Fuck me,” my dad says, looking between Jax and Ashlyn.
“Daddy!” I scold, covering Jax’s ears. Jax starts laughing, and then Ashlyn joins him. I look at both of them and shake my head. “Do not repeat what you just heard.”
“They could be twins,” my mom says, and I look up from the kids’ smiling faces to see tears in my mom’s eyes. “Nice to meet you, Jax. You can call me Memaw or Grandma,” my mom says, “and you can call this guy here Papa or Grandpa.” She points to my dad.
“Hi,” Jax says, giving a small wave before leaning back into me. I wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head. We have gotten closer over the last couple months, but it’s rare that he will cuddle. Just like Ashlyn, he likes to be off running around creating havoc and chaos.
“So how are you, angel?” my dad asks Ashlyn, who is cuddled back into Cash.
“Good! Daddy says I can get a dog,” she says randomly, and I look over at Cash and glare.
“I didn’t say it was going to happen today.” He looks a little sheepish.
“I want a dog,” Jax says, leaning back to look up at me.
“Um…I…well, one day.”
“Do you think that Spike will like having a dog?” he asks. I know, I know…I kinda ended up liking Spike; he’s cute. But I wonder if dogs eat ferrets.
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t want Spike to get hurt,” Ashlyn says.
“Who’s Spike?” my dad asks.
“My ferret,” Jax says, looking over at Ashlyn. “We should go get him.” Ashlyn nods before they both jump off our laps, running to the back of the house where the bedrooms are.
“Seems you two have your hands full and a good reason for birth control,” my mom says, and I laugh.
“Yeah, but they are both really good kids,” I say, leaning into Cash.
“So, what are your intentions with my daughter?”
“Dad!”
“Don’t you ‘Dad’ me; I want to know what his plans are.”
“Well, I would like Lil and Ashlyn to move in with me—” Cash starts to say something else, but my dad cuts him off.
“So you want to get the milk for free?” my dad asks with narrowed eyes, and Cash looks confused.
“Sorry, I'm not following.”
“You know, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? You want my daughter and granddaughter to live with you, and you don’t want to marry her.
“No disrespect, sir, but that is something that I will be discussing with Lilly first before anyone else. And when the time’s right, I will come to you like a man and ask for your permission, not that it will change my mind about asking her,” Cash says, and my dad’s eyes flash, not with anger, but approval, and my tummy flips. Cash said when the time was right, he would ask me to marry him. Oh, my God.
“Well, I know what Lilly has told us about your situation and what happened in the past,” my dad says looking at me, his eyes going soft. “She believes you, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but just remember what I said earlier about being a Seal.”
“You’re not a Seal; you’re a Papa Bear.” Ashlyn laughs, climbs into my lap, and Dad smiles. I look over at Jax, who has Spike in his arms as Cash picks him up to sit on his lap.
“This is Spike,” Jax says, holding the ferret out in one hand, his long body swinging back and forth.
“Isn’t he cute, Memaw?” Ashlyn cries, looking at my mom.
“He is something.” My mom makes an eeek-face at me, then smiles at Jax.
“So, has anything new happened?” my mom asks, and I want to tell her about what happened today with the police, but I don’t want her to worry about it. I know the cop said he believed me, so I just hope he finds who really did this and clears my name.
“Nope, nothing new at all.” Cash squeezes my shoulder. I smile, and my mom’s eyes narrow on me. Dammit, I need to work on becoming a better liar.
“So, Lilly says you do construction,” Dad asks Cash, and they start talking about Cash’s job, then about hunting and fishing, and my eyes start to feel heavy.
“All right, love bug, you need to go get ready for bed,” I tell Ashlyn, and she sighs loudly.
“Bye, Memaw. Bye, Papa.” She blows them each a kiss before getting down and walking into the bathroom.
“You too, little dude,” Cash tells Jax, who waves bye to my parents.
“Love you, Mom and Dad,” I say, leaning towards the camera.
“Love you too, honey. If you need to come home, you just say the word,” my mom says, and I feel Cash’s arm go tight around me.
“We’re good, Mom. I promise,” I tell her, giving her a genuine smile.
“All right, it was nice meeting you, son. You take care of my girls,” Dad says, looking at Cash, and then his eyes come to me. “Love you.”
“Love you too, Daddy,” I say softly, feeling his words deep inside my soul. My parents are the best.
“Nice to meet you both,” Cash says before the screen goes black on the computer and my parents are gone.
“I like your parents,” Cash says, and I look over at him.
“They are pretty awesome parents.”
“So what do you say we get the kids to bed and find a movie to watch?”
“Sure.” I start to stand and Cash stops me, dragging me down onto his lap.
“And tonight, you’re sleeping with me. No more sleeping in the room with Ashlyn,” he says, his eyes turning a shade darker, and then dropping to my mouth. We have only stayed over a couple of times, but I always sleep on the pull out in the room Cash fixed up for Ashlyn. I bite the inside of my cheek and give a slight nod. “Good. Now, let’s get the hellions to bed so I can get you alone.”
“Okay,” I breathe and feel his fingers flex into the skin at my waist.
“Okay,” he says, and his lips touch mine. His mouth opens, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. I feel his tongue run over it before his hand slides up my back and into my hair, tilting my head further to the side. I press my tongue into his mouth; his teeth release my lip, and he puts more pressure on the back of my head, kissing me harder. My arms go around his neck, one hand in the back of his hair, running my fingers through it. When our mouths finally part, we’re both breathing heavily. I lean forward, resting my head in the crook of his neck. “The kids are quiet. We should go make sure they’re not trying to find out how many things they can flush down the toilet before it backs up,” he says after a few minutes. I start laughing. It wouldn’t be the first time, and he is right; when the kids get quiet, they are normally up to no-good.
“All right,” I sigh; I would much rather stay curled up in his lap for the rest of the night, but parenthood is a never-ending job. Cash stands, taking me with him. Once we’re up, we go down the hall to where two of the four bedrooms are located. Jax’s room is on one side of the hall, and Ashlyn’s is on the oth
er. I stop before Jax’s room when I hear both of the kids’ voices. I can’t make out what they are saying, so I creep forward until I can peek my head around the door. I feel Cash’s hands at my waist and we both stand there in silence, listening to Jax and Ashlyn’s conversation.
“Daddy said that it’s my job as your big brother to take care of you.”
“Well, if Mommy and Daddy have another baby,” I feel Cash’s hands squeeze me, “I will be bigger than them,” she says, and I can see her putting her hands on her hips like a total diva.
“I will still be bigger.” He sighs like he is annoyed, making me giggle. I step into the room when Jax’s head comes up.
“What are you guys doing?”
“We were going to listen to a story,” Ashlyn says, picking up the Kindle Fire from the bed.
“Oh yeah? Did you both brush your teeth?”
“Yes,” they both say at the same time.
“Did you put Spike back and make sure that you locked the cage?” Cash asks, and I'm so glad he thought of that. I, for one, didn’t want to wake up with Spike in bed with me.
“Yes,” they both say at the same time again, looking at Cash and me like we’re annoying them.
“One story for both of you. Then it’s bed time,” Cash says.
“Fine,” they grumble. Ashlyn crawls up onto the bed with Jax, and they pull the Kindle between them and start an audio-story about the Bernstein Bears.
“We will be back to tuck you in,” I say, but may as well be talking to air because neither of them are listening to anything I have to say.
“So what do you say we skip the movie and go straight to the credits?” Cash says against my ear, his body wrapping around mine from behind as we walk down the hall.
“Who watches credits?” I moan when I feel his fingers slide just under the top of my jeans against my stomach.
“No one.” He bites my neck. I then feel his tongue licking the abused skin. My pussy jumps and wet heat floods my center. My head falls back against his shoulder, my arms going over my head and around his neck. The fingers of one of his hands travels down the front of my jeans, while his other hand comes up to cup my breast under my shirt and over my bra. Goose bumps break out over my skin when I feel the tip of his finger slide between my folds and over my clit.