No problems. Just sadness.
She quickly sent a message back. Sadness is always a problem.
More sadness. Loss.
I know that’s what you’re afraid of, but we might be able to fix it. She couldn’t make promises. But you have to keep fighting, or we won’t have a chance.
Tired.
I don’t want to hear it. You’re strong. I can feel your heartbeat and it’s strong, too. You were meant to live. You have to live.
Sadness …
Margaret cuddled closer and held Juno tight. No more sadness. Do you hear me? Trust me. It will never be the same. But it can be good. We’ll make it good together.…
* * *
“Be careful,” Margaret called up to Lassiter. “I’ve tied Juno on that door with strips of my shirt, but you can’t slant that stretcher too much, or they’ll break with the weight of her body.”
“We’ll be careful.” He was cautiously lowering himself down the timbers. “I can see the door now. I’ve threaded the rope through the hole I punched through the glass window. I’ll support the frame and have Cambry pull the rope. It will—” He stopped. “Juno. I believe it’s time I asked just what kind of animal Juno is. From this angle, she appears to be of substantial size.”
“She’s a golden retriever. She’s probably only a little over a hundred pounds. Maybe less now. She hasn’t eaten for days.”
“And she’s not likely to eat us?”
“Don’t be silly. She wouldn’t do that. Not now.”
“That’s comforting.” He swung down a couple more feet. “You wouldn’t have been able to give me those assurances about that tigress you were cosseting when we first met.”
“Juno is nothing like Zaran. Well, maybe a few similarities, but even those are for completely different reasons.” She positioned Juno more securely. “And cosseting is the wrong word, too.”
“At the moment, I don’t give a damn. I just want to get you and this Juno out of this hole before the mine collapses.” He jumped the last few feet, landed beside her, and studied the dog strapped to the door. “Beautiful. If I’m not mistaken, she’s pure white beneath all that mud. What breed is she?”
“I told you: golden retriever. English cream variety.”
“Beautiful,” he repeated. “But she’s very quiet. You said she was hurt?”
“Left rear leg. I think it’s only sprained. Plus, she’s not eaten in days. She’s lucky there was a trickle of water that came in from an underground stream, or she’d be dead by now. We have to get her to a vet.” She went to the other side of the stretcher to help brace it. “Yank the rope to let Cambry know we’re ready.”
“I can do this without you.”
“No, you can’t. Why should you? I’m strong enough to help.” She made a face. “And I just got finished telling Juno that she has to be strong. I can’t wimp out.”
His lips quirked. “No, I guess you have to set a good example for the dog. What was I thinking?” He yanked on the rope to signal Cambry. “Let’s get your Juno taken care of. We do have a few more things on the agenda.”
“It’s not going to hold us up too long. This is important to me.” She braced her side of the door as the makeshift stretcher started to move upward. “I’ll be responsible.”
“I imagine you say that a lot,” he said as he braced himself and began to climb on the next foothold to take more of the weight. “I’m not arguing with you. It’s a relief to be able to do something to save even this dog. I haven’t been very successful in the rescue department lately.”
“We haven’t saved her yet. She has problems.” She looked down at Juno.
You stay alive. Do your job. I can do only so much.
No answer.
“But we will save her.” The words were for Juno as well as for Lassiter. “I just hope the vet clinic in this town has a good staff.”
* * *
San Chapo Veterinary Clinic was small and had only one veterinarian. But that was Dr. Hector Nalez, who was caring and knowledgeable and already knew Juno.
“Hello, girl. What’s been happening to you?” he murmured as he knelt down beside her. “I’ve been wondering how you’ve been making it.” He glanced up at Margaret. “How did you get hold of Juno? Did they give her to you?”
She shook her head. “‘They’? I don’t know anything about her. I found her hurt and buried beneath the rubble in a deserted mine. She was alone.”
“Yes, she is.” He gently stroked Juno’s neck. “Poor girl. Alone.” He straightened. “Well, let’s get her cleaned up and make sure there’s nothing worse than that sprained leg. We’ll deal with the rest of her problems later.”
He set to work immediately, checking her over and setting the sprained leg. Then he gave her a nutrition shot and started fluids as his tech began to clean her up.
He turned to Margaret. “We’ll have to start her on light, gradual feedings to begin with. That shot should help, but she’s not in good shape. Did you know that she’s going to have pups?”
She nodded. “Is she going to lose them?”
“I don’t know. She’s severely malnourished. But I’ve seen cases like this where the unborn pups managed to survive by taking enough nourishment from the mother. She might have saved her pups by giving them what they needed at her own expense. But I’m not detecting movement. We probably won’t know until it’s closer to her time. But we have to make sure that we keep pumping nutrients into her. I’ll write you a prescription and you can—”
“You said that you knew her. You took care of her?”
He nodded. “From the time that she was a puppy. Great dog. Adored that little girl. It was wonderful to see them together.”
“Little girl,” Margaret said. The name that had been in the back of Juno’s mind all the time they had been linked. “Celia…”
“You know the family?”
“Sort of. Juno belonged to Celia?”
He nodded. “Her parents gave Juno to Celia for Christmas when she was about eight years old. She loved that dog. They were inseparable. A few months ago, she told her parents that she thought Juno would be happier if she had her own puppies, and so they arranged to breed her.” He shrugged. “I’m glad she had her for those two years. A dog can enrich life. Juno certainly enriched Celia’s.”
“Only two years?”
“That’s all Celia had.” He glanced at Juno in the anteroom with the tech. “She was in a car accident when she was ten and was in the hospital for three weeks before she died. Her parents even got permission to take Juno to the hospital. They thought she might help to give Celia a reason to live. They were trying everything they knew to keep her alive.”
“But it didn’t work,” Margaret said sadly. “Sometimes there’s nothing you can do.”
Sadness.
Loss.
Pain.
“How did Juno get down in that mine?”
He shrugged. “I have no idea. I only know that after Celia died, her parents couldn’t stand to even look at Juno any longer. The dog was mourning and they had to coax her to eat. And she was such a painful reminder of their daughter that they found it unbearable. A month after Celia’s funeral, they gave her to a young couple who were moving to Brownsville, Texas.” He added, “If I had to guess, I’d say that probably Juno ran away from them on the trip up there and came back here to everything she knew.”
Even though the most important person in her world was no longer here for her. “That would be my guess, too,” Margaret said. “And who knows why she wandered into that mine. As you said, she’s mourning.” She looked at Juno. “So Celia’s parents wouldn’t want Juno back, and Juno ran away from two virtual strangers. If that couple didn’t go to the trouble of looking for her, then they didn’t really want her, either.”
He nodded. “Though we could try to contact them and—”
“No, Juno knows that nobody wants her. We can’t throw her back to them.”
“She knows?”
r /> “You’re a good doctor. You know that dogs sense things.”
Sadness.
Loss.
“Is it okay if I go in to see her?” Margaret asked.
“I don’t see why not.” He smiled. “After all, you probably saved her life.”
“She saved it herself. Maybe she didn’t want to do it, but there’s always instinct.” She went into the anteroom, where Juno was lying on a mat on the floor. She was clean now and her white coat gleamed under the strong lights. Lassiter was right: She was beautiful. Her huge dark eyes appeared to glow against that shiny white coat. But she didn’t lift her head when Margaret came into the room.
You’re going to be better now. The doctor said that you have to eat, though. You were probably not eating well even before this happened. It has to stop. You have to save the pups.
Juno still didn’t look at her. Loss.
Sadness.
Not better.
Not wanted.
Margaret knelt down beside her. You are wanted. I want you. And there will be others who want you. The pups will want you.
Gone.
I know she’s gone. Or maybe she’s not. Maybe she’ll always be with you. Love has a habit of staying around even if you can’t see or smell or hear it. But you can’t know unless you stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Sadness.
Yes, and it won’t go away; it will always be part of you. But it can still be good. And it’s time to think of the pups now. You thought of them when you were down in the mine, or you wouldn’t have called out to me. But you’re not finished yet. Celia wanted you to have these pups. She thought they’d bring joy to both of you.
Gone.
I’ve already told you that you don’t know that. But you do know what she wanted you to do. You’re not alone. I’m here to help you.
But you’re not her.
I know I’m not. But we can get through this together. You may even get to like me. Then, after the pups come, we’ll take another look to decide what you need to do. What she’d want you to do.
Confusion. Pain. Sorrow.
Juno?
She lifted her head at last and looked at Margaret. Maybe …
Not maybe. Trust me. Just do as I say and we’ll be fine. First, you eat. Then, when you’re better, exercise. Then we’ll go on from there. Okay?
Silence.
Okay? You’ll do as I say? We stay together? It’s what she would want.
Silence. Yes. We stay together. A pause. But you’re not her.
A tentative victory at best. But it was a victory.
Though she wasn’t certain Lassiter would consider it a triumph in any meaning of the word.
* * *
“How’s she doing?” Lassiter rose to his feet as Margaret came into the waiting room. “Was the leg broken?”
“No, just a sprain.” She looked at her watch. “It’s almost one. I suppose you’re eager to get going. I didn’t mean to delay you. Where’s Cambry?”
“I sent him to gas up the plane and get ready for takeoff.” He tilted his head. “Are you ready to go?”
“Almost. I have to get some prescriptions and nutrition supplements for Juno and then thank the doctor for his help. He’s a very good doctor. And he’s taken care of Juno since she was a few months old.”
“I gathered that when you brought the dog in and he welcomed her so enthusiastically. So he must know the owners. Is he going to return Juno to them?”
“Not exactly.”
He gazed at her warily. “And what does that mean?”
“Completely wrong,” she said bluntly. “We’re taking Juno with us.”
He stiffened. “I beg your pardon.”
“I told you that Juno has problems. Her owner was a ten-year-old child who died only a couple months ago. Juno is in mourning for her. Her parents are finding it too painful to keep her dog.” She paused. “And she’s going to have pups probably in the next few weeks. We have to keep her eating and healthy.”
“I’ll say she has problems.” He shook his head. “You’re supposed to be a grief therapist, nutrition specialist, and a possible midwife? May I point out that this isn’t a good time for you to be involved with any of that?”
“There’s never a good time. It’s life, Lassiter. I can’t afford to let her be boarded, even by a nice man like Dr. Nalez. She might give up and slip away. I’ll be responsible for her.” She frowned. “Though I’ll have to work it out. There will be times when I won’t be able to care for her. I can’t take her on the island. Nicos would use her as a weapon. I’ll have to—”
“Margaret, this isn’t smart.”
“I know. But I have to do it.” She turned and went to the reception desk. “I’ll get her prescriptions. You’d better call Cambry and prepare him for the fact that he’s going to share the rear seat.”
“Margaret.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “I know that you could refuse to take her, but you won’t do it. You might think that Juno’s intrusion is just adding chaos to chaos, and you’d be right. But I can’t not take care of her right now. And when you think of it, she may be an opportunity for us to think of something besides Nicos. I don’t know about you, but I need a distraction.”
“I know you do.” His frown disappeared and he smiled. “The optimistic approach again. Frankly, I don’t know how you manage to keep that banner flying nonstop.”
“It’s not nonstop.” She smiled back at him. “But it’s the way I ordinarily think. And when I can’t find a reason, I look for a distraction.”
“Evidently you found it,” he said drily. He took out his phone. “I’ll call and tell Cambry another challenge is on the horizon and then call a taxi. Get Juno ready to go and out here in the next fifteen minutes.”
She nodded. “She’ll be ready. I’ve told her she has to do what I say.”
“Let’s hope she pays more attention than that tigress you were schooling. You don’t have all night to work with Juno, as you did with the tigress and her cub.”
“She’ll pay attention. Like most retrievers, she’s very sweet natured.” She had a thought. “But she’s stubborn. It was really hard to get through to her. Every time I told her that she should do what I said, she told me, ‘You’re not her.’ She meant her friend Celia. It was almost like a mantra. No one appears to mean anything to Juno but that little girl.”
“Sad.”
“Don’t you start. I’m trying to jar her out of it.” She started speaking to the receptionist. She was vaguely aware of Lassiter, who was talking on the phone in the background. By the time she’d gotten the prescription and gone to the back to fetch Juno, he had finished and was waiting outside for the taxi.
Dr. Nalez gave her a leash for the dog and walked with her out of the clinic. “You’re sure this is what you want to do?” he asked. “It won’t be easy dealing with her right now. I can try to find her a good home.”
“I’m sure. I think she needs me. I don’t believe anyone else will do right now.” She shook his hand. “Thank you for taking care of her. We’ll get along fine.”
But you’re not her.
She looked down at Juno, who was standing quietly but whose thought was crystal clear.
“Just fine,” she repeated. “Thank you again.” She turned to Lassiter, who had opened the door of the taxi for her. “You ride up front. I’ll ride in back with Juno.”
“Compromises, already,” he murmured. He slammed the door shut behind her and the retriever and then got in the passenger seat. “I hope she appreciates all this.”
“She doesn’t, but that doesn’t matter. She needs me.” She put a gentle hand on Juno’s back. Soft. Silky. Warm. She stroked her gently.
Nice … But you’re not her.
She kept her hand on Juno’s body.
Nice is good enough for now.…
* * *
“I couldn’t believe this when Lassiter told me,” Cambry said, looking down at Juno as they were walking tow
ard the Cessna while Lassiter settled up for the hangar rental. “Or maybe I could. It’s just bizarre.” He knelt down and rubbed Juno’s ears. “How are you? You’re quite the beauty, you know.”
“She knows. People have been telling her that since she was born.”
Still … nice.
Evidently, Cambry had made a hit. Probably because he was making the effort and he was a big, strong man who had no resemblance to Juno’s Celia. No comparisons.
So take advantage of it.
“Cambry, this is Juno. I hope you’re going to be very good friends.”
Cambry looked warily up at Margaret. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“You’ll fall in love with her. Look how she’s staring up at you. She has a very affectionate nature. She already likes you.”
“Because I’m scratching her ears.” But he kept scratching them. “Lassiter said she’d be your responsibility.”
“And she will be, but I may need a little help.” She suddenly grinned. “Juno may need a nanny.”
* * *
Twenty minutes later, they were in the air, with Juno lying a little uncomfortably in the seat next to Cambry. But Cambry had settled her sprained back leg so that it wouldn’t be stressed. Every now and then he would reach out and readjust it or simply pet her.
“Are you finessing this situation to suit yourself?” Lassiter asked Margaret as she turned back from watching Cambry with the dog. “I believe Cambry is being hijacked.”
“He won’t mind. He just has to get used to her. Dogs are all love. Particularly golden retrievers. Juno will give more than she takes.”
“Are you planning a permanent arrangement?”
She shook her head. “She’s just in need. It’s a healing time. He’ll help her heal.”
“Not you?”
“I’ll be there for her. But right now she’s pulling back from me. She keeps saying that I’m not her. She means Celia. At first, I couldn’t figure it out. Then I remembered what Dr. Nalez said about Juno and her Celia being so very close.” She paused. “I think perhaps that Celia might have been a little like me.”