Chapter 30
Hope and Uncle Eb and I went away in a coach with Mrs Fuller. Therewas a great crowd in the church that covered, with sweeping arches, aninterior more vast than any I had ever entered. Hope was gowned inwhite silk, a crescent of diamonds in her hair--a birthday gift fromMrs Fuller; her neck and a part of her full breast unadorned by anythingsave the gifts of God--their snowy whiteness, their lovely curves.
First Henry Cooper came on with his violin--a great master as I nowremember him. Then Hope ascended to the platform, her dainty kidslippers showing under her gown, and the odious Livingstone escortingher. I was never so madly in love or so insanely jealous. I must confessit for I am trying to tell the whole truth of myself--I was a fool. Andit is the greater folly that one says ever 'I was,' and never 'I am' inthat plea. I could even see it myself then and there, but I was so greata fool I smiled and spoke fairly to the young man although I could havewrung his neck with rage. There was a little stir and a passing whisperin the crowd as she stood waiting for the prelude. Then she sang theballad of Auld Robin Grey--not better than I had heard her sing itbefore, but so charmingly there were murmurs of delight going far andwide in the audience when she had finished. Then she sang the finemelody of 'Angels ever Bright and Fair', and again the old ballad sheand I had heard first from the violin of poor Nick Goodall.
By yon bonnie bank an' by yon bonnie bonnie brae The sun shines bright on Loch Lomond Where me an' me true love were ever won't if gae On the bonnie, bonnie bank o' Loch Lomond.
Great baskets of roses were handed to her as she came down from theplatform and my confusion was multiplied by their number for I had notthought to bring any myself.
I turned to Uncle Eb who, now and then, had furtively wiped his eyes.'My stars!' he whispered, 'ain't it reemarkable grand! Never heard nerseen nothin' like thet in all my born days. An' t' think it's my littleHope.'
He could go no further. His handkerchief was in his hand while he tookrefuge in silence.
Going home the flowers were heaped upon our laps and I, with Hope besideme, felt some restoration of comfort.
'Did you see Trumbull?' Mrs Fuller asked. 'He sat back of us and didseem to enjoy it so much--your singing. He was almost cheerful.
'Tell me about Mr Trumbull,' I said. 'He is interesting.
'Speculator,' said Mrs Fuller. 'A strange man, successful, silent,unmarried and, I think, in love. Has beautiful rooms they say onGramercy Park. Lives alone with an old servant. We got to know himthrough the accident. Mr Fuller and he have done business together--agreat deal of it since then. Operates in the stock market.
A supper was waiting for us at home and we sat a long time at the table.I was burning for a talk with Hope but how was I to manage it? We rosewith the others and went and sat down together in a corner of the greatparlour. We talked of that night at the White Church in Faraway when weheard Nick Goodall play and she had felt the beginning of a new life.
'I've heard how well you did last year,' she said, 'and how nice youwere to the girls. A friend wrote me all about it. How attentive youwere to that little Miss Brown!
'But decently polite,' I answered. 'One has to have somebody or--or be amonk.
'One has to have somebody!' she said, quickly, as she picked at theflower on her bosom and looked down at it soberly. 'That is true onehas to have somebody and, you know, I haven't had any lack of companymyself. By the way, I have news to tell you.
She spoke slowly and in a low voice with a touch of sadness in it. Ifelt the colour mounting to my face.
'News!' I repeated. 'What news, I-lope?
'I am going away to England,' she said, 'with Mrs Fuller if--if motherwill let me. I wish you would write and ask her to let me go.
I was unhorsed. What to say I knew not, what it meant I could vaguelyimagine. There was a moment of awkward silence.
'Of course I will ask her if you wish to go,' I said. 'When do you sail?
'They haven't fixed the day yet.
She sat looking down at her fan, a beautiful, filmy thing between bracesof ivory. Her knees were crossed, one dainty foot showing under rufflesof lace. I looked at her a moment dumb with admiration.
'What a big man you have grown to be Will,' she said presently. 'I amalmost afraid of you now.
She was still looking down at the fan and that little foot was movingnervously. Now was my time. I began framing an avowal. I felt a wildimpulse to throw my strong arms about her and draw her close to me andfeel the pink velvet of her fair face upon mine. If I had only done it!But what with the strangeness and grandeur of that big room, the voicesof the others who were sitting in the library, near by, the mystery ofthe spreading crinoline that was pressing upon my knees, I had not halfthe courage of a lover.
'My friend writes me that you are in love,' she said, opening her fanand moving it slowly, as she looked up at me.
'She is right I must confess it,' I said, 'I am madly, hopelessly inlove. It is time you knew it Hope and I want your counsel.
She rose quickly and turned her face away.
'Do not tell me--do not speak of it again--I forbid you,' she answeredcoldly.
Then she stood silent. I rose to take her hand and ask her to tell mewhy, a pretty rankling in my heart, Soft footsteps and the swish of agown were approaching. Before I could speak Mrs Fuller had come throughthe doorway.
'Come Hope,' she said, 'I cannot let you sit up late--you are worn out,my dear.
Then Hope bade us both good-night and went away to her room. If I hadknown as much about women then, as now, I should have had it out, withshort delay, to some understanding between us. But in that subject oneloves and learns. And one thing I have learned is this, that jealousythrows its illusions on every word and look and act. I went to my roomand sat down for a bit of reckoning. Hope had ceased to love me, I feltsure, and how was I to win her back?
After all my castle building what was I come to?
I heard my door open presently, and then I lifted my head. Uncle Ebstood near me in his stocking feet and shirt-sleeves.
'In trouble,' he whispered.
'In trouble,' I said.
''Bout Hope?'
'It's about Hope.'
'Don't be hasty. Hope'll never go back on you,' he whispered. 'Shedoesn't love me,' I said impulsively. 'She doesn't care the snap of herfinger for me.
'Don't believe it,' he answered calmly. 'Not a single word of it.Thet woman--she's tryin' t' keep her away from ye--but 'twon't make nodiffer'nce. Not a bit.
'I must try to win her back--someway--somehow,' I whispered.
'Gi n ye the mitten?' he asked.
'That's about it,' I answered, going possibly too far in the depth of myfeeling.
'Whew w!' he softly whistled. 'Wall, it takes two mittens t'make apair--ye'll hev t'ask her ag in.
'Yes I cannot give her up,' I said decisively, 'I must try to win herback. It isn't fair. I have no claim upon her. But I must do it.
'Consarn it! women like t'be chased,' he said. 'It's their natur'. Whatdo they fix up so fer--di'mon's an' silks an' satins--if 'tain't t'setmen a chasm 'uv 'em? You'd otter enjoy it. Stick to her--jes' like apuppy to a root. Thet's my advice.'
'Hope has got too far ahead of me,' I said. 'She can marry a rich man ifshe wishes to, and I don't see why she shouldn't. What am I, anyhow,but a poor devil just out of college and everything to win? It makes memiserable to think here in this great house how small I am.'
'There's things goin' to happen,' Uncle Eb whispered. 'I can't tell yewhat er when, but they're goin' to happen an' they're goin' to changeeverything.
We sat thinking a while then. I knew what he meant--that I was toconquer the world, somehow, and the idea seemed to me so absurd I couldhardly help laughing as melancholy as I felt.
'Now you go to bed,' he said, rising and gently touching my head withhis hand. 'There's things goin' t'happen, boy--take my word fer it.
I got in bed late at night but there was no sleep for me. In the stillhours I lay quietly
, planning my future, for now I must make myselfworth having and as soon as possible.
Some will say my determination was worthy of a better lover but, blessyou! I have my own way of doing things and it has not been always sounsuccessful.