She could not answer. The darkness caught hold of her.
She woke up upon something very soft, and the light that gently glowed around her seemed to come from a single candle. She had never known such sweet comfort. She was clad in a clean white gown, and she lay upon clean white sheets, and the softest wool blanket she could imagine lay over her.
It took her a few minutes to discover these things, for they were hazy at first. Instinctively she touched her temple where it still throbbed, but there was a bandage there now.
The face of a woman wearing a bed cap hovered over her. It, too, was hazy, then it cleared. It was her sister, Elizabeth.
“Hello,” Elizabeth said very softly. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a very good sign,” Elizabeth said gravely. “Is it?” She had to smile. “Where am I? How did I get here?”
Elizabeth sat back on the side of the bed and extended both her hands. “This is the small maid’s room off my own.” She frowned. “We’ve better rooms in the house, of course, but well, I suppose that they can’t really give you the status of a legitimate child. Oh, I don’t mean that cruelly. Do you understand?”
Jassy nodded. Her head was beginning to pound. “Really, I didn’t want to come here. I will leave—”
“Oh, no! Please don’t leave! I wondered about you for years and years. Papa and Mama had horrible rows about you. You are just wonderful. Please, stay. Jane is a darling, but then she and Henry are the duke and duchess. And Lenore, well, you’ve met Lenore. I have no one.”
“But surely you’ve friends!” Jassy tried to sit up. It was very difficult to do, and her head began to pound all over again.
“Shush, and be careful! You’ve quite a gash upon your head. I’m afraid I haven’t really friends, not as you think. Father preferred to go to London alone, I was never allowed to play with the servants, and Jane and Jamie were our nearest neighbors. Lenore is not as bad as she sounds, honestly, but still … please, say that you will stay awhile.”
She couldn’t say it. She wasn’t certain that she could stay in this house very long, not when there was so much hostility directed against her.
“The room is lovely. It is by far the grandest that I have ever known,” she assured Elizabeth. It was a beautiful room. It contained the wonderfully soft bed she lay upon and the fresh clean sheets and the warm wool blanket. There were drapes at the window and small, elegant tapestries on the walls. There was a trunk at the foot of the bed and a heavy oak dressing table. “How did I come here?”
“Jamie brought you up.”
“Oh,” she murmured, and she tried to hide her disappointment. She had hoped it had been Robert. She lowered her lashes swiftly.
Elizabeth giggled. “Take care if you’ve set your mind on Lord Robert Maxwell, for Lenore is taken with him. Ah, well, she is in love with Jamie, too, but he can be so very exasperating.”
“That he can.”
“Lenore is so demanding, and of course, no one shall ever demand things of Jamie. He barely stays within the realms of courtesy as it is. She gets so very angry with him. Then he leaves and she cries and frets for nights, and then it all happens again.”
“Really.” Jassy couldn’t imagine caring in the least if Jamie Cameron determined to stay away forever. But Robert Maxwell was another matter. It seemed horrible to her that a woman like her sister Lenore might very well marry Robert—while she could not. Even now she would remain a poor relation. The sister from the wrong side of the sheets. It was foolish to be bitter. Molly had always told her so. It was a waste of time. But she was bitter, and she could not help it.
Elizabeth was staring at her with grave concern. They really did not look so much alike, after all, Jassy decided. Oh, the resemblance was there, but Elizabeth had a rounder face, a turned-up nose, and far more innocent eyes. She smiled, studying her sister. She had never expected to find someone like her.
“And what about you, Elizabeth? Who shall you marry?”
“Oh, no one!” she cried. “Unless, of course, Henry forces me. He shan’t, I’m certain. Jane is a dear, and she will not let him force me into a marriage. I had thought for a while that I would join with the sisters of St. Francis, but I discovered that I did not have the vocation, after all.”
“Then perhaps you will fall in love.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m too shy. Oh, I have known Jamie all my life, and Robert is so sweet and funny. But I am no good with strangers. I love this house, but I hate it, too, for it has also been my prison. It can become a prison, you shall see! But now, tell me about your life. I am so anxious to hear.”
Jassy felt a new rush of tears come to her eyes as she finished telling her story and turned her head into her pillow. Mother, she cried silently as she buried her face within the bedding, I loved you. I would do anything to have you back. I still cannot believe that you are gone, that I will wake and you will not be with me.
Elizabeth was there beside her, and it was all right that she saw Jassy’s tears. They hugged each other and rocked back and forth, and Jassy tried to explain. “You buried her this morning!” Elizabeth said, shocked. “You poor, poor dear. Oh, Jassy, you must stay! They’ll give you a hard time, but you must stay. The world will treat you cruelly if you do not! It will break you, as it broke your mother! The pain fades, Jassy, and in time you remember what was good and what was sweet. I promise.”
The next morning Jassy was summoned by the Duke of Somerfield. When she entered his office, he was sitting behind his desk. He rose but did not invite Jassy to sit. He walked around her, observing her carefully. Then he backed away. She stared at him, not speaking, for she had not been spoken to. He was many years older than she, she determined, but was still a young man. He was elegantly dressed in wide breeches and a heavily embroidered doubtlet with wide, fashionable sleeves.
“You’ve no humility,” he said at last. “None at all. You need some, you know.”
She lowered her eyes and her head, remembering that she had decided she did want to stay at Somerfield Hall. For a time, at least—until she could fathom a way to reach her own destiny, to acquire her own wealth. A dream perhaps, but a dream that sustained her.
“You are not a legitimate member of this household!” he said sharply.
“No,” she agreed softly.
“And I will not treat you like legitimate issue.”
She said nothing but waited.
His voice softened. “And yet you are my sister, and very beautiful. More beautiful than Lenore, and probably more clever than us all. Your position here is a difficult one. I do not care to have a member of my bloodline living in abject poverty, so I would keep you here. We must give you a task. I imagine that you have been well educated?”
She nodded. “I had tutors until I was twelve.”
“The duchess is with child. When the babe is born, you shall be the Lady Jane’s nursemaid, and you must keep a stern eye on the wet nurse, for I’ve found only a country lass who is slow for the task. When my son is able to talk and comprehend, you will begin his lessons until he comes of such an age that I hire proper tutors. Can I trust you with such a position?”
She raised her eyes again. She had expected worse from him, much, much worse. “Thank you. I love children, and I promise that I will tend yours well.”
“Then that is all. Oh, except for this: If you ever mention your birth to anyone again, I shall ask you to leave.” His eyes traveled over her slowly. “Everyone will know who you are. But you are my hired governess, and that is to be that, do you understand?”
“Clearly.”
“For the time you may help Jane with her correspondence.”
“Thank you.”
“You may go. She will call you when she wants you.”
Jassy fled from the room and returned to her own, where both Elizabeth and Kathryn, the kindly ladies’ maid, eagerly awaited the outcome of her interview. She told them quickly, and they both laughed happily, a
nd the three of them decided that it was the very best that could have been expected.
Soon after that the duchess sent for Jassy. In a beautiful solar she kept an elegant secretary, and her stationery and seal. She smiled at Jassy when she arrived, and though she wasn’t as effusive as Elizabeth, Jassy felt that she had another friend.
“I think that this will work out very well, don’t you?” Jane asked after she had had Jassy write out a letter of condolence to a friend on the death of her husband. “What lovely penmanship! I think that we shall get along very well. Oh, and Jassy …” She paused, picking up Jassy’s small hand. “I’ve some cream we must try. It will take away the redness, and in time, perhaps, heal the skin altogether. I’ll have Kathryn bring it to you tonight.”
“Thank you. You are very kind.”
The duchess smiled and sat at the chair behind the secretary. She sighed. “I am glad you will be tending the babe. He will be your nephew, you know, even if we aren’t allowed to say.”
“Yes. I promise you I will tend him or her with all my heart and soul.”
“Yes, I believe that you will.” She smiled but appeared tired. “Heavens! In the commotion last night I forgot to tell my brother that I am enceinte.”
“Your brother?” Jassy murmured warily.
“Why, yes. Jamie is my brother. That globe-trotting pirate. Why he will not sit still in this good country … Castle Carlyle is big enough for a dozen families, ten times larger than Somerfield Hall. And Jamie has built his own home on land my mother left him. But then my papa, too, is obsessed with the Virginia colonies, so I suppose it is understandable that Jamie thinks it fine to sail that ocean again and again.” She shivered. “You’d not get me onto one of those miserable ships for a three-month voyage. But Jamie will do as he chooses; he has always done so and he always will, and heaven help the man or woman who tries to stand in his way. I think that that is all for now. If I need you this afternoon, I will send for you.”
Jassy nodded, still somewhat stunned by the news that the duchess was Jamie Cameron’s sister, although why, she wasn’t sure. The Camerons and the Somerfields had all grown up together. Their lands adjoined.
“Oh, Jassy!”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
Jane flushed. “You need not call me that, unless my husband is present. You may call me Jane, please. When you are at leisure, I will appreciate your spending time with Elizabeth. She is terribly shy, you know, and has no real friends.”
“It is a pleasure to be with Elizabeth.”
“Good.” Jane grinned and waved a hand in the air. “Is there anything that you need?”
“Nothing.”
Jane told her what her wages would be, and Jassy gritted her teeth not to cry out. In one month she would earn what she had slaved a year for at Master John’s.
When she left Jane, she was dreaming already. She would diligently save her wages. She would buy land, or she would buy a tavern. She would become her own mistress. It would take time. So much time. But she would never be poverty-stricken again.
“Ah, my sister, the well-dressed bastard!”
Jassy was rudely jolted out of her daydream. Lenore stood before her in the hallway. Jassy said nothing but waited.
Lenore grinned suddenly. “Thank God that he has made you a servant! You would be stiff competition if you had any type of dowry whatsoever.”
Jassy arched a brow, wondering just what Lenore meant.
“Oh, I’m really not so terrible. I mean, I don’t wish to drown you like an unwanted litter of kittens or anything. I just want you out of my way. All right?”
“I hardly see how I could be in your way.”
“Then you are blind to your own image,” Lenore said flatly. “You will eat in your room tonight; Kathryn will bring you a tray. I am having company, and alas, we want you seen as little as possible.”
“Fine,” Jassy said, and she stepped by Lenore.
Curiously, that first day set the tone for many of the days to follow. In the morning Kathryn woke her. Elizabeth improved her wardrobe with cast-off pieces from Jane and Lenore. And strangely, Lenore did not seem to mind. “As long as you have the secondhand pieces, I do not care at all,” she said airily.
Until noon she worked on correspondence with Jane, and in the afternoons she was at leisure to read or walk with Elizabeth, and even to ride. On her third day there she discovered that the horse, Mary, was in the Somerfield stables. “She is yours, of course,” Jane told her, “and you must take her out whenever you choose.”
“But I told Robert that I could not keep her!” Jassy protested, distressed.
Jane watched her curiously. “Jamie left her for you.
And she is your horse. Speak with Jamie if you do not want her.”
“I will,” Jassy said. But she could not leave the docile creature with no attention, and so she began to ride her, and each time she rode her, she remembered the conversation she’d had with Jamie about bloodlines.
Lenore was always catty, and Henry was always cold, blunt, and upon occasion, cruel, but Jane was charming and Elizabeth was sweet. As winter melted into spring she was pleased with the turn her life had taken. Things were so different here. There was so much of beauty about the Hall. There were sculptures from France and Italy, and the table was set with silver, gold, crystal, and painted Dutch plates. The Hall itself was a thing of beauty, and she discovered despite herself that she was bitter still, for she coveted the fine house and all the beautiful things within it. Her sweetest pastime was dreaming, and in that she frequently indulged.
She was so engaged late one afternoon when Elizabeth came running into her room. “Jassy! We are to have company tonight, and you are to come down to dinner as well!”
“I am? Why?” Her dreams were ever with her now. Some young squire had seen her riding about the place. He was a friend of Henry’s, and he had insisted that the hidden sister be presented before him when he came for a meal. He would be fabulously wealthy, and she would fall in love with him. He would smile like Robert, sweep her away, and she would be mistress of her own castle or magnificent mansion.
“We’re to discuss the May Day dance.” She giggled. “Think! It’s but a month away. Anyway, Jamie will be here—”
“Oh,” Jassy murmured disappointedly.
“And Robert. They always come to help plan the theme. Well, it’s the Duke of Carlyle who plans the event with the Duke of Somerfield, but his father has no interest in such things, and his elder brothers are in London this year, so Jamie must represent the duke. And Robert is still his guest, so they will both come. It will be fun, and very casual.”
“Yes, it sounds like wonderful fun.” She would see Robert again. That, in itself, was exciting.
“The May Day dance is even more fun. Lenore is in a complete tizzy.”
“Oh, why?”
“Oh, well, you don’t know, I guess. It’s May Day. They set up a huge pole. It’s really supposedly a pagan rite. The pole is actually a”—Elizabeth paused, and though they were alone, she moved very close to whisper in Jassy’s ear—“a phallic symbol! But oh, the day is wonderful. And at the end of it there is a dance, a very swift and wild dance, and when the dance is over, a woman is supposed to find her mate for life, her beloved. Oh, Jassy, perhaps you will find a husband! Not that it is legal, of course, but usually lovers are able to find each other. Weddings do follow! That is why Lenore is in such a state. She doesn’t know whether she will try to catch Jamie or Robert. Jassy, you look so pale. Are you listening?”
“Yes, yes, I’m listening.”
“Isn’t it exciting?”
“Oh, yes. Very exciting.”
“Then hurry! We must dress for dinner! Kathryn will come and do our hair, and it will be very special.”
Elizabeth was still talking, but a tingling sensation rippled along Jassy’s spine, and she could not really hear her any longer. Lenore could not decide whether she wanted Robert or Jamie Cameron. A maid was to set out to c
apture her husband.…
Henry would probably refuse to allow her to be a part of it.
She would go, anyway, she determined. Somehow she would manage to capture Robert Maxwell. And then she would have everything; she would have him—charming, kind, tender Robert. She would be a wife and no longer a mistress, no longer a servant. She would have a house and a home of her own, and she would have realized her greatest dream.
All that she had to do was plan, very, very carefully.
V
From the start it promised to be a grand evening.
As Jamie and Robert were to be the only company, Elizabeth was pleased and in a fine mood. Jane was anxious to see her brother, and even Henry seemed to be in a rare good disposition. Lenore was highly intrigued with another chance to study both men, and to determine who she would prefer to have as a husband.
For Jassy it was her first real chance to dress up, and she felt like a princess preparing for a ball. She wore one of Elizabeth’s gowns that evening, a wonderful creation of crimson velvet and soft mauve silk. The half-sleeves were ribboned and the stomacher was embroidered with gilt. Kathryn thread silver and gold ribbons through her hair, and when she was done, Jassy was ecstatic. She preened and swirled before Elizabeth and Kathryn, and laughed with nervous gaiety. For the first time she felt as if she could really play a lady. For the first time she was aware that she could appear beautiful.
“Will I do?” she asked.
Elizabeth laughed. “Lenore shall be green with envy.”
Jassy didn’t really want to make Lenore green with envy, but she did want to sweep Robert Maxwell off his feet. He did care something for her, she was certain that he did, and if only she could make him see that she could stand among the most refined and cultured young ladies. She knew now from Elizabeth that he was the second son of the Earl of Pelhamshire, but like Jamie, he was not his father’s heir. Perhaps it was a dream, but she had halfway convinced herself that he would be willing to cast convention to the wind, if he could be made to love her deeply enough. She had to make him fall in love with her. Surely he could not love Lenore with her rapier-sharp tongue!